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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27894703">KINGS &amp; QUEENS</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovemylarry/pseuds/lovemylarry'>lovemylarry</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Larry Stylinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Difficult Relationships, Famous Harry, Famous Louis, From hate to love, Harry and Louis - Freeform, Harry is a model, M/M, ModelHarry, discrepancies, harry and louis au, harry styles and louis tomlinson - Freeform, just a little bit of smut, larry au, larry stylinson - Freeform, larry stylinson au, larryfanfiction, larrystylinsonfanfiction, management, on tour, relationships</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:55:14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>82</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>123,082</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27894703</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovemylarry/pseuds/lovemylarry</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Louis is part of the most famous band in the world: One Direction. A mistake lets Louis' manager come up with an idea that turns his life upside down. Damage control has a name: Harry Styles.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson, Harry and Louis, Larry Stylinson</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>53</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. PROLOGUE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Dear readers,</p><p>I found the plot online and the second I saw it it was clear for me that I'd write this story. It took me over a year to finish it but finally, it's done. I'm so proud of it and I hope you'll like it. It's a pity that I couldn't get in touch with the person who posted the plot on tumblr since their account was deleted. </p><p>This was the original post:<br/>I need an AU where Harry is Louis' winter boyfriend but everything goes wrong and they ended up falling in love. But I need them to do everything on the list of the winter stunts, have some froyo, the kiss on NYE, the ski trip, the whole! Please ask your followers to write this!!! </p><p>There's smut involved toward the end but not much. These chapters start with a warning. I hope I haven't forgotten one but I think it's okay.</p><p> <br/>This story is also available <a href="https://www.wattpad.com/991282346-kings-queens-prologue">on wattpad</a>.<br/>Here is <a href="https://lovemylarry.tumblr.com/post/636676953185927168">my tumblr post</a> in case if you want to support me. That would be lovely :)</p><p> <br/>Have fun reading, I wrote this for you! &lt;3</p><p>PS.: Don't translate my story, don't steal it, don't post it anywhere.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On a sunny October morning, Louis parks his car in front of the huge, modern office building in central London. He’s definitely not in a good mood because his PR manager had called him a few days ago to come to the office today. It was planned that Louis should have some days off so he wasn’t supposed to work at all but obviously, things have changed. He slams the door of his car angrily before he takes out a cigarette, lights it and leans against his black Range Rover. He blows the smoke into the cold autumn air. Watching the smoke vanishing into the air calms him. Minutes later, Louis enters the building that consists of polished steel, glass and expensive white marble inside.</p><p>Louis takes the elevator to the last floor. Although the view from up there is beautiful, he doesn’t pay attention to it. Louis walks along the bright hallway, then turns right where his manager’s office is located. In front of it, there is a huge reception desk. Of course, nobody is allowed to step into Sia’s office without an appointment. The older lady who works for Sia, Mrs. Leonard, looks like a stewardess with her grey hair pulled up in a bun. The navy-blue blazer and the white shirt are on point and suit her already austere face even more. Thick, black glasses complete her stern look. Whoever wants to pass without talking to her will not survive the confrontation, for sure. She’s like a predator, the same type as her boss she’s working for. She’s perfect for this job and fits into this merciless business like no other. Louis doesn’t like to small-talk with Mrs. Leonard because her disparaging way of talking is unbearable for him. When he comes closer to her, he can see her eyes flashing, full of venom as she’s scrutinizing Louis like a snake that has focussed on its prey.</p><p>“Good morning, do you have an appointment?”</p><p>“Yeah, 11:30.”</p><p>“Identity card,” Mrs. Leonard says equally rude and reaches out her hand demandingly.</p><p>Louis frowns. “You know me, I’m Louis Tomlinson from One-,”</p><p>“I don’t care who you are. Even if you were the emperor of China, I wouldn’t care. Identity card.”</p><p>Louis takes his ID card out of his wallet and throws it onto the counter top. He doesn’t think of handing it to her politely. “Here.”</p><p>Mrs. Leonard gives him a stringent look but stays quiet. She takes the card, puts it on her desk next to the keyboard and starts typing something into her computer - her look alternating between the screen and the ID card. Louis has no idea what she’s doing. Secretly he thinks she’s just pretending to work in order to annoy people. Mrs. Leonard has known Louis for about three years now and she does that every time he has an appointment.</p><p>“Go inside and wait there until Mr. Sia calls you in,” she says, pointing to the small room on the left.</p><p>Louis puts his ID card back into his wallet and walks over to the translucent glass door. As he opens it, he can’t believe his eyes. There’s a tall, young man sitting on one of the white leather chairs. He’s holding a phone in his hands and looks up when Louis enters the room. Louis’ eyes narrow as he looks at him. “Harold? What are <em>you </em>doing here?”</p><p>“Good morning,” the young man greets him in a low voice. “You know that’s not my name.”  </p><p>Louis sits down opposite him and bends forward, ignoring his complaint. “Don’t you have work to do such as buying expensive designer clothes for your snobbish ego or updating your social network accounts?” Louis gives him a disparaging look. Out of all people, why is <em>he</em> here?</p><p>***</p><p>Harry Edward Styles is a professional model who’s booked buy Gucci and other luxury designer brands. Since Louis had met the tall young man with the curly hair at a Burberry fashion show in London, he started recognizing his campaigns everywhere: in magazines, TV spots, even on the huge screens in New York City.</p><p>Louis doesn’t care about fashion too much. He loves wearing casual clothes in general. When he’s at home he prefers sweatpants and a simple hoodie. Attending fashion shows isn’t something he often does but he had to go to the Burberry show because his Sia thought it was important to gain more public attention. “To be seen at important events is necessary in this job,” he said. Besides the events they attend as a group, one time a year the band splits and everyone goes to different events on their own. Sia came up with this idea a year ago and it seemed to work for the band’s popularity and general image. While Louis got the job to attend a fashion show in September, his other bandmates Liam and Niall went to a golf tournament and a charity event on their own. At least Louis wasn’t alone at the fashion show. Zayn who had been a successful model before he got part of the group, was with him. It wasn’t a surprise that he was excited about the plan and Louis wasn’t. Zayn had always been Louis’ favourite bandmate. Since they were put together as a band, Louis has always had a little crush on him and they got on really well from the beginning. Zayn’s mum is British but his dad is Pakistani and he's the perfect mixture of both. His olive skin looks great in combination with his black hair that gets wavy when he doesn’t cut it too short. Zayn’s dark brown eyes only get overtrumped by his incredibly long eye lashes. Louis loves Zayn’s thick hair and the three-day stubble he likes to wear most of the time. He enjoys when they’re close but nobody knows about his little crush - neither his best friend Riley nor Zayn himself. Louis has always felt a little bit idiotic for his feelings toward his bandmate and maybe that’s the reason he never talked about that to anyone. It’s his secret he’s willing to keep.</p><p>If it hadn’t been for work, Louis would have never attended the fashion show. Models have never been people Louis looked up to – quite the contrary. In his eyes, they only sell their bodies what means they’re prostitutes for fashion. Human coat-stands with no personality, easy as that. He likes Zayn’s style though and Louis thinks he looks and moves great in front of the camera but he just can’t understand how someone can be so affected by simple pieces of fabric that are seamed together to weird outfits nobody would wear in private.</p><p>“You have to understand that not all of those outfits are made to be worn or for the majority of people,” Zayn told Louis on their way to the show. “Some of them are special costumes for celebrities that could be worn for galas or on red carpets. There are outfits are very expensive and precious like art. Other pieces are completely normal and wearable. It always depends on the occasion, the designer, the material or the purpose they’re made for. If you love fashion, you go to fashion shows and if you love cars, you’d go and visit a museum or something. For me it’s the same thing. It’s about passion and what I love being surrounded with.”</p><p>“But isn’t this a waste of resources to just produce fashion that isn’t wearable? Most of the people who go to those shows are celebrities or other rich people who are sitting in the front rows. Don’t you think it’s a waste of money to just design clothes for them to look at? Sounds stupid for me.”  </p><p>“Fashion has always been a part of this world, even hundreds of years ago! I think it’s cool to experiment with different fabrics, colours and arrangements and also, some pieces look so extremely cool!”</p><p>“I still don’t get why I should go to such a show for fun and watch anorexic models being bored with walking along a runway? They all look bored.”</p><p>“Not all of them are anorexic. Have I ever been anorexic?”</p><p>Louis rolled his eyes at his friend. “No but the ones I’ve seen were, I’m sure.”</p><p>Zayn laughed and put an arm around his friend’s shoulders. “Oh mate, I see – me and you will never have the same opinion about fashion but at least we could have a fun night together, what do you think?”</p><p>“Will there be drinks?”</p><p>“I’m pretty sure.”</p><p>“Well then . . . I might pretend being happy.”</p><p>Zayn gave Louis a smile. “That sounds good. Maybe we’ll meet some interesting people there? Who knows?”</p><p>Louis rolled his eyes playfully. “Models. You know my opinion about them.”</p><p>“Oh Louis, I have been modelling too and you like me and in addition, there will be more people there, not only models.”</p><p>“You might be the only model that’s not brainless and the only one I will ever like.”</p><p>“They aren’t brainless. Some of them have studied or are currently studying at universities. Most of them work really hard and walking on that runway isn’t as easy as it seems.”</p><p>“Don’t try to change my mind on this,” Louis laughed. “You won’t win.” He pat Zayn’s chest in a friendly way.</p><p>“I guess,” Zayn sighted but smiled. “I think we’ll have a nice evening though. The after party will be cool, for sure!”</p><p>To Louis’ surprise, the after-show party actually was quite fun in the beginning until he met Harry Styles – or better: until Harry bumped into him. Zayn and Louis were standing at one of the high tables that were nicely wrapped in white tablecloth when Louis needed to go to the bathroom. The main party room was full with people at that point. They were talking to each other, some of them were dancing while the waiters and waitresses tried to get their work done, too. Here and there cameras were put up, interviews were being made. Everyone was busy and tried to get through the crowd although the space was quite limited. Just when Louis wanted to leave, someone ran into Harry who bumped into Louis. The impact made Louis stumble over a thick cable that was on the floor. He spilled half of his red wine onto Zayn’s expensive white suit what made him incredibly pissed over this incidence. Strangely enough, Zayn wasn’t pissed at Harry who was actually responsible for the strain on his suit – he was pissed at Louis! Harry immediately started cleaning Zayn’s outfit like a subordinate while Louis was just standing there like an idiot. He probably could have handled this situation much better if it wasn’t for Zayn. Louis loved getting Zayn’s attention but not like this.</p><p>When he came back from the bathroom, Zayn and Harry were laughing and talking as if they had known each other for years what lead to the fact that Louis felt like the fifth wheel. He was jealous, angry and disappointed that Zayn almost ignored him for the rest of the night just because of a stupid strain he hadn’t even caused. While Harry was still talking with Zayn, Louis flipped him off behind his back, not noticing that he was being watched by a photographer of the “Sun”.</p><p>***</p><p>“I don’t think we should talk to each other like this,” Harry says, trying to ignore Louis’ harsh tone. He sits there with his hands folded, staring at the expensive carpet that’s put on the meticulous, mirror polished floor. “I’m sorry that I bumped into you at the party.” Harry gets up from his chair and reaches out his hand to apologize but Louis ignores the friendly gesture.</p><p>“Leave me alone,” he growls. Then Louis takes his phone out and starts scrolling through his messages.</p><p>“Why are you so impolite? I didn’t-,”</p><p>“Could you just stop getting on my nerves?”</p><p>Harry sighs as he leans back in his chair. They sit there in silence for a while until the massive wooden door opens and Louis’ PR manager steps out of his office.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. CONSEQUENCES</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Good morning, gentleman! Please come in.” Louis gives his manager a questioning look but stays silent. The middle-aged man waits until Harry and Louis are inside the office, then he closes the door behind them. He walks towards the huge, cherry wood desk and points at the black leather chairs in front of it. “Take a seat.” He offers Harry and Louis a glass of water before he sits down on his own chair. He leans forward, patterns both men and folds his hands eventually.</p>
<p>“Why is he here?” Louis asks.</p>
<p>Sia stays unimpressed by Louis’ attitude. He keeps looking at him with sharp eyes before he opens a drawer next to the table and throws the newest issue of the “Sun” onto the desk in front of Louis. Sie takes a biro and taps loudly at the heading on the front page. “Do you think this might be useful for your career?” His tone is as sharp as his eyes that are glaring at Louis. The man adjusts his brown glasses and pauses. “Or maybe for his?” He points toward Harry.</p>
<p>Louis lets out an annoyed sound and lets his hands fall onto his thighs. “I don’t care about <em>his</em> career.”</p>
<p>“But at least you should care about <em>yours</em>, don’t you think?” Sia almost shouts. “Jesus, Louis!” He opens the folder next to him and pulls out a document. “You’re giving the media too much negative press by behaving like you had nothing to lose but it’s not like that, Louis William Tomlinson. Plus, thank God, your unallowed outing hasn’t affected your and your band’s popularity.” His tone is beyond angry. “If it would have, I swear I’d crushed you mentally <em>and </em>financially.”</p>
<p>Louis knows that’s the point where he should keep his mouth shut although he would like to tell this horrible person in front of him what he really thinks about him. Sia gets up and copies the document twice. He hands one to Harry and another one to Louis who immediately puts it back on the table, not even looking at it.</p>
<p>The man sits down again. “The band is successful at this point, very successful and that’s why I have to act before it’s too late.” Louis frowns and points his thumb at Harry. “But you know he’s not in the industry, don’t you?” He crosses his arms in front of his chest as he leans back in his chair. Louis at least managed to bite his tongue for more than five seconds. A record. “Why is he here?”</p>
<p>Sia gets up from his chair and hits the desk with the palms of his hands. “Stop talking to me like I’m one of your friends, Louis!” he shouts angrily. “Is that clear?” Louis doesn’t look at him. He won’t give him the attention he wants. “He’s here because you messed up and I’m the one who needs to correct your outrageous behaviour now. I have invested a fortune into this band and before you ruin everything that has been built up until now, I’m going to do everything possible to prevent this project from failing, do you understand my words? Answer me!”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Louis grunts quietly. He hates Sia, he hates him with every fibre of his body, he really does. All that matters for him is money and power, nothing else.</p>
<p>The man sits down again. “You should thank Mr. Styles for helping you out of this mess. He’s going to become your fake boyfriend within the next months.”</p>
<p>“What the fuck?! Why?”</p>
<p>“Calm down, Louis! What you and the band need right now is positive publicity and only positive publicity. Pretending to have a famous partner is a common way in the business, as you should know.” Sia’s tone has calmed down a little bit. “Mr. Styles is the perfect person for this job. He’s polite, successful, he has manners, a clean-cut image, he’s successful and the right look. It’s for sure that the press is going to love your relationship and that’s what we need after that disaster! People like reconciliations more than anything and a resulting relationship is going to turn out golden, especially in your case. Of course, this will be a process that will leave enough room for speculation. You won’t give the public what they might want in the beginning.”</p>
<p>Louis can’t believe what he hears. “Wait. What you’re trying to tell me is . . . that you want to force me into a fake relationship with <em>him </em>out of all people? What’s that shit?!” Louis waves his hands in the air. “Is that even legal? I’ll sue you for this!”</p>
<p>Sia gives Louis a self-satisfied, disgusting smile. “You can’t sue me or anyone at this company for a thing that you signed to three years ago.” He looks Louis in the eyes. “It seems like you haven’t read your contract carefully and trust me when I say that there’s no way of getting out of it without a penalty that would affect your following career, your relationships or your financial situation.” Louis bends his head in frustration. “There’s no way to get out of it for you, except if <em>you</em> want to be sued and thrown out of the band afterwards.”</p>
<p>Louis gets up from his chair, walks around a bit and stops next to Harry who has been sitting there in silence. He points at him with both hands. “And what about you? What are you thinking about this? Is that what you want? Really?”</p>
<p>“I already know about it,” Harry says, his voice calm.</p>
<p>“What?! You already <em>know</em> about it?” Louis repeats Harry’s words as he stares at him with his open mouth. “And you say that as if it was the most normal thing in the world?” Louis shakes his head. He’s so pissed, so incredibly pissed as he lets himself fall onto his chair again, groaning in frustration. Louis feels as if all the energy has been sucked out of his body within a second.</p>
<p>Harry takes the biro Sia is handing him. “Mr. Styles, please sign this additional contract, right . . . here.” The man turns three pages and marks a line with a little cross. He does the same with the contract in front of him, then pushes it toward Louis. Louis watches Harry as he scribbles his signature onto the line at the bottom of the document.</p>
<p>“Here you are, Mr. Sia,” Harry says politely and puts the biro back onto the table.</p>
<p>“What if I don’t want this?” Louis asks.</p>
<p>Sia exhales audibly. “Louis, I don’t need to repeat what I’ve already told you. If you don’t want to sign, you’re going to be confronted with the consequences and you know that really well. You won’t have the tiniest chance to win this battle against me or against the company.” Sie glares at Louis who stares at the papers in front of him. “Look at you. You wouldn’t be sitting here without your contract. You wouldn’t be successful. You haven’t even read this one.” His voice isn’t as harsh by now but Louis knows it’s just because he wants him to sign and probably, he also wants to look good in front of his new partner in crime. Louis knows he has to sign, there’s no way out of this situation and nobody can actually help him.</p>
<p>“Would it matter if I read it? I think not.”</p>
<p>“You should be informed about the details though.” Sia pauses. “Take the contract home and if you have any questions, call me.” He puts the paper into a big envelope and seals it. “Here you are.” Louis takes it from him. “You can go now.”</p>
<p>“Finally,” Louis grunts. He turns around and walks toward the door without looking back. He hates Sia and this part of the industry so fucking much.</p>
<p>“Good bye, Louis,” Sia says nicely before Louis can rush out and slam the door behind him.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“I’m sorry for Louis’ behaviour. He’s a nice guy but when something doesn’t go his way, he can be . . . difficult.”</p>
<p>Harry nods. “I didn’t expect him to behave any different after our incident.”</p>
<p>“I appreciate your words and . . . I know you’re a very determined person. Thank you for helping us out in this case.”</p>
<p>“I’m aware it’s just business.”</p>
<p>“Isn’t it all about business?” Sia takes Harry’s contract and puts it back into the folder. “You can go too if you don’t have any other questions, Mr. Styles.”</p>
<p>Harry nods. “Alright. Thank you for everything.”</p>
<p>“I have to thank you, Mr. Styles. I wish we could chat a little bit longer but I’m going to have another meeting in about one hour I need to get prepared for.” The man gets up from his chair and Harry does the same. Sia reaches his hand out. “Thank you again for being here.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome, Mr. Sia.”</p>
<p>“Wait a second,” Sia suddenly says. He bends down, takes a pen and scribbles something onto a sticky note. He rips it off the cube and hands it to Harry. “That’s Louis’ phone number. I think you should get in touch with him since he doesn’t have your number and he’ll probably prefer talking to you than to me first.”</p>
<p>“Oh, this is quite a challenge,” Harry laughs. “Is this his private number?”</p>
<p>“No, no, he only uses this phone for work issues.”</p>
<p>“Ah okay.” Harry folds the small note and puts it into the pocket of his jeans.</p>
<p>“Alright Mr. Styles, have a good day.”</p>
<p>“Goodbye, Mr. Sia.”</p>
<p>“Call me in case if you have any questions or if Louis doesn’t want to cooperate.”</p>
<p>“I will.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>At home, Louis pulls out the contract. “What the fuck,” he mumbles as he scans it quickly. The small letters are giving him a headache. He’s sitting on his bed, smoking a joint. Sia also gave Louis a list that contains all details for the stunts he is supposed to do with Harry: when, what, how much time the stunts will take, what they have to do and how to behave. Louis can’t believe what he’s reading when it comes to New Year’s Eve. He is supposed to spend it with Harry in New York City where everyone can see them: in the streets among thousands of people, more detailed, at Times Square, the perfect place to be seen. Louis had usually planned to spend New Year’s Eve at home with his closest friends and his boyfriend, not with a male, snobbish model he despises so much. The stunts are going to take place in different countries throughout the tour. Louis throws the contract onto the table in front of him, balls his fist and slams it against the wall in anger. After reading more or less all pages, he grabs the phone and calls Sia who immediately answers Louis’ call.<br/><br/>“That was fast. Have you read your contract?”</p>
<p>“I have,” Louis says, taking a pull of his joint and releases the smoke. “And I’m not happy with those issues, especially not with Styles.”</p>
<p>“We have to correct your public image with someone who is suitable and correct.”</p>
<p>“Out of all people,” Louis mumbles.</p>
<p>“Well, you were the one flipping him off.”</p>
<p>“It’s not you who has to be with him all the time.”</p>
<p>“Not all the time, sometimes. He’s perfect for the job.”</p>
<p>“He’s annoying and snobbish.”</p>
<p>“Watch out and stick to the rules.” Sia pauses. “Oh . . . and Louis,” he says threateningly, “I don’t want to ever see pictures of you smoking joints out in public again. We have had that already. It’s number ten on the list of negative things you’ve done so far and absolutely bad for business. Not only for you but for all of us and also your bandmates. And don’t drink too much when you’re out with Mr. Styles.” He sighs. “You’re so difficult to deal with. My nephew isn’t as stubborn and impulsive as you are.”</p>
<p>What the fuck is wrong with this man’s brain? Louis takes a long drag, exhaling the smoke slowly as he watches it disappear. No way Sia wouldn’t notice Louis is smoking right now but that’s exactly what he is intending. The comparison to Sia’s nephew pisses Louis off even more. “I’m <em>not </em>difficult to deal with,” Louis says, “and I’d say my behaviour is pretty normal for my age but this business is so fake that it declares smoking and drinking on a normal level as sins for young people. As if others wouldn’t party and stuff.” He rolls his eyes and takes another drag.</p>
<p>“You wouldn’t be so bitter about everything if you just accepted the rules instead of discussing every detail with me.” Louis can hear Sia typing on his keyboard. Of course, he’s working in the middle of the night. He’s always busy because money is the centre of his life. What a creep.</p>
<p>“Where am I supposed to sleep when we’re abroad?”</p>
<p>“In hotels, as usual.”</p>
<p>Louis inhales deeply. “And . . . am I going to have my own room <em>as usual</em>?”</p>
<p>“Not when you’re about to stunt or work within this time frame.”</p>
<p>“What? Does that mean Styles will stay with me? Like in <em>my</em> room? You know I have a boyfriend.”</p>
<p> “Private life is private life and business is business. You will have to manage to keep your boyfriend a secret further on meanwhile you’re focussing on fulfilling your contract. You’ve probably stayed in hotels with friends too so I don’t understand why you’re making such a fuss about this.”</p>
<p>“That’s a slightly different situation right here. I don’t even know him, neither do you.”</p>
<p>“I know enough.”</p>
<p>“Obviously. There’s no room for private life in this business,” Louis mumbles angrily. “It’s a joke.”</p>
<p>Sia doesn’t react to Louis’ provocative statement. “Any more questions?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Come to my office with the signed contract on Tuesday morning. Bye Louis.” With these words Sia ends the call.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A SECRET RELATIONSHIP</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Shit!” Louis yells angrily. He calls his boyfriend Matt immediately to tell him what has just happened. Shortly after the call, Matt comes over to Louis’ house and Louis ends up with his head in Matt’s lap, telling him how he feels and how much he hates his management, especially Sia. Matt listens patiently to Louis’ rambling and scratches his boyfriends’ scalp until he has calmed down. For the first time that day, Louis doesn’t feel stressed.</p><p>Louis met Matt during the X-Factor days when he was waiting in line to fill in some documents for taking part in the show in order to get his number. The boy’s blonde hair and blue eyes caught Louis’ attention right away, also his whole appearance was quite appealing. He looked like a guy from Sweden or Finland but it turned out that his mum was from Scotland and his dad was from northern Germany – what explained his unique look. Matt also auditioned for the show but he only got to the second round. Louis and him got on really well from the minute they met. Both guys became friends quickly, kept in touch and got together only a few months later. Louis kept the relationship secret while One Direction was becoming more and more successful during the show and also after that. It’s not that Louis wanted to keep his boyfriend a secret – he was forced to do so when his management found out about them two days after they confessed their love for each other. When Louis asked Sia about how he knew about his relationship the man admitted that there was a guy whose only task was to tail Louis in order to find out about affairs that might emphasize as negative for the business plan. Louis was shocked when he heard that and it took him a long time to really believe something like that could be true. It was one of the first negative experiences he had ever been confronted with back then and many others should follow. It was written in his contract but the word choice made it nearly impossible to understand what exactly was meant eventually. “That’s the business and how it works. Nothing happens randomly, everything that has to do with your job is planned into detail. It’s your choice,” Sia said when Louis told him how he felt about this restriction. “You were old enough when you signed and now you can have the secret relationship or none. There’s no other way.” Sia was cold that day and Louis felt awful. Not only because he had to keep his relationship a secret but also, because he knew that it would be hurtful for Matt.</p><p>At that time, Louis was new in the business and clueless but he learned quickly. He soon figured that it was useless to fight Sia and everyone who is responsible for career issues. Nevertheless, Louis has never stopped telling people his opinion because he isn’t the type of person who doesn’t defend themselves, even if it might not help at all. Louis has always had a strong sense of justice what totally collides with the requirements of the music industry, of the business in general. The other side of the coin is challenging in a negative way but Matt helps Louis to deal with it so well. He is the perfect distraction for Louis. He can tell him everything, he feels good around him, at ease. When they’re together, he can easily forget about the business and everything that works himself up. What’s also a big deal is that Matt doesn’t treat Louis any different than before and this is a huge character trait that Louis loves about his boyfriend. Matt also keeps Louis grounded and that’s what Louis appreciates more than anything. Louis can be who he really is with Matt what means a lot to him. This and that they argue. Why would Louis like that? No, it’s not that he really likes arguing but being with someone means that at some point, you will get into a situation that causes friction. It’s normal that you don’t agree on everything, that your views differ and that you fight.</p><p>Usually, people behave differently around Louis. They somehow seem to smile more and they are often nicer to him than to others what Louis actually has witnessed himself. When the band was on its way to reach a certain, popular status, Louis soon found out that those people did that because he was Louis from One Direction. They weren’t really interested in his personality or who he was, they didn’t see the person behind the name. It was just because of the band and the fame that was about to increase. Not that Louis had ever been extremely naive or credulous but the fact that he got confronted with this changed his view on people tremendously. That was already in the beginning so when it happened, Louis couldn’t stop thinking about that and decided to talk about this topic to other celebrities who had been in the business for years. They confirmed Louis’ concerns without a doubt. It seemed like the fake friendliness was something that happened all the time and finally it was clear it was part of the job.</p><p>Of course, Louis felt something wasn’t right. It’s definitely not normal when everyone does always behave perfectly around you, when people agree on every word you say, no matter if it’s good, bad or logical. It’s normal that people disagree or argue with you, that they discuss about opinions and views on topics. When people stop doing that it’s like an indicator that something is wrong. It wasn’t really hard for Louis to realize his thoughts were right. He is a grounded guy, someone who someone who is definitely sensible and attentive when it comes to people who want to be friends with him. He has always been like that but the business opened a completely new chapter for him. “Not every nice person has good intentions,” his mum Jay used to say even before Louis got part of the band. His mum has always played an important role in Louis’ life since his dad left early and she was the only reference person for him for quite a long time. He took his mum’s words seriously. Her opinion has always mattered to Louis and his siblings. Years later, Louis realized how right she was once again. It didn’t take long until Louis learned his lesson in the business. Since then, he hasn’t trusted anyone too quickly, no matter how they behaved around him, no matter what they said, no matter how lovely they seemed at first sight. Still, Louis is always friendly and talkative to people, no matter who they are. There’s only one exception: Sia. Louis hates him and his intentions and he only talks to him when it’s necessary.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. THE CALL</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Around nine o’clock in the morning Louis wakes up with a slight headache. Luckily, he has two days off and he has planned to not leave the house at all. He stays in bed until lunchtime, gets up and takes a quick shower. Louis decides to skip breakfast and order himself a huge pizza from Domino’s since that’s what he craves to eat. Then he flops down in front of the TV and switches to the sports channel. He messages with Matt, his friends, talks to his mum on the phone. She tells him about the newest developments at home in Doncaster and plays some video games until he nearly falls asleep on the sofa.</p>
<p>He suddenly wakes with a start because one of his phones won’t stop ringing. It’s the annoying melody of the phone he needs for work and of course there’s a rule for it too. There’s a rule for everything in this business and many of them also affect private life issues. Louis has to answer every call or message on that phone, no matter where he is or what he’s doing. There’re only a few exceptions where Louis is allowed to not pay attention to the phone such as holidays or family festivities that are declared to the management. In those cases, Louis can leave the phone at the office but usually, he has to carry it with him. In case if he can’t answer, he needs to call or message back contemporary. Louis doesn’t know the phone number on the display but since he has to answer the call, he accepts it as he wipes the button with the telephone receiver to the right.</p>
<p>“Hello?”</p>
<p>“Louis? Harry here.” His low, raspy voice is unmistakable.</p>
<p>“You woke me up.”</p>
<p>“Oh . . . uhm . . . I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Too late. Who gave you my number?”</p>
<p>“Mr. Sia. Also, his assistant Sophie called me. She gave me some more instructions and told me to meet you before we start working together.”</p>
<p>“Why am I not surprised. You’ve become friends with Sia and his servant quite fast.”</p>
<p>“He’s my boss, not my friend.”</p>
<p>“Oh really? My bad,” Louis says mockingly.</p>
<p>“Have you checked the list?”</p>
<p>“The list?”</p>
<p>“The stunt list Mr. Sia has added to the contract.”</p>
<p>“Ah yeah, I have,” Louis answers casually. Why does he have to talk about this on his day off? “Listen, Harold, I-,”</p>
<p>“My name isn’t Harold.”</p>
<p>“<em>Harry</em>,” Louis says with a slight sarcastic undertone. “Anyways . . . maybe your friend Sia hasn’t told you yet but today and tomorrow are my days off. I’m not in the mood to start <em>working</em> with you now.”</p>
<p>“Far be it from me to steal your free time, Louis, but as you might have noticed, the first job is going to be in a few days so I thought being prepared would help us since we don’t know much about each other. I’ve done this years ago for another client so you can trust me it’s not my intention to annoy you. I’m just doing what has to be done.”</p>
<p>“Wait, what? You have already done this before?” Louis almost yells into the speaker.</p>
<p>“Yes, I-,”</p>
<p>“Jesus, you’re devious.”</p>
<p>Harry sighs. “How can you say something like that? You don’t even know me. I did it for a friend who is also in the business. She didn’t want the public to know about her sexuality so she asked me if I could pretend being her boyfriend for some events and stuff.”</p>
<p>“And now? Do you want me to praise you for doing a good deed?”</p>
<p>“Louis, the only thing I want is to fulfil the job and unfortunately your engagement is required in this, too. I can’t manage it on my own.”</p>
<p>“I wish you could.”</p>
<p>“Okay Louis, now listen to me! I wish that too because if so, I wouldn’t have to spend my time on my phone, trying to convince you to do something that is necessary while you’re too stubborn to just accept the circumstances and behave professionally!” Harry’s tone has changed.</p>
<p>Louis stays quiet, maybe because of the shock. He would have never thought that Harry could talk like that. Louis knows he’s right but he would never admit that. He rubs his face with his hand and sighs. “You have no idea how much I hate this, really,” he says quietly, leaning his head against the backrest of his sofa. “I hate it so fucking much.”</p>
<p>“Oh Louis,” Harry says in his significant, low voice. The anger that was showing a few seconds ago is gone and Louis can even hear him chuckling at the other end. Why the fuck is he chuckling? “I think I’ve understood that the second Mr. Sia told you why we were at the office and honestly . . . you’re giving me quite a hard time by proving it.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’m not easy to handle.”</p>
<p>“I’ll risk it though.”</p>
<p>“You’re brave.”</p>
<p>“I have no other choice?”</p>
<p>“Probably.”</p>
<p>“Let’s get back to business.”</p>
<p>Louis lets air flow through his lips. “Okay, okay. Tell me what you want to tell me.” He has calmed down eventually. The situation is still pissing him off but refusing to talk to Harry wouldn’t lead Louis anywhere so he decides to cooperate, at least a little bit. If he shows interest in Harry’s concern, they might end the phone call sooner and that’s at least something positive.</p>
<p>“As you have probably read, we’re going to have various jobs to accomplish during the next weeks and months. Sophie told me that Mr. Sia could add more dates in case if he thought they would be necessary.”</p>
<p>“Has she also said that he could potentially cancel some?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know but from what Sophie told me, I don’t think that, really. There’s too much money involved for everyone so the businessman he is, no . . . I don’t believe he would do that.”</p>
<p>“Have you worked for him?”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“The other stunt. The one with your friend. Was it Sia who managed the whole thing?”</p>
<p>“No, it was another company but I’m not allowed to talk about it.”</p>
<p>“Okay, go on.”</p>
<p>“Let me . . . check the list,” Harry says slowly. Louis can hear papers rustling through the speaker. “As far . . . as I can see . . . ah yes, we’re going to do one job next weekend and two after that.”</p>
<p>“Three? You’re kidding.”</p>
<p>“I thought you have read the list?”</p>
<p>“Maybe I didn’t really pay attention. I’ve never been the teacher’s favourite student, you know. I’d bet five hundred pounds that you were one of those freaks who always sat in front of the teacher’s desk, the ones who knew everything and did every single homework.”</p>
<p>“Don’t start a hare now.”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay.”</p>
<p>“So, back to business. The first job is just for us to get to know each other a little bit and the other two are real ones. I’ll stay at your place.”</p>
<p>Louis frowns. “Are you . . . happy with all of this?”</p>
<p>“That’s not the point, Louis. People are supposed to think that we’re getting on well after the incident. It’s been weeks but still, the media brings that incident up frequently. All Mr. Sia wants is damage control for you and your band and yes, people might start speculating if we’re just good acquaintances, friends or more but that’s exactly what he wants. As you might have noticed, we should pretend being a couple in the end of this journey so our relationship is going to grow slowly but at the beginning people are supposed to make up their own mind. Maybe some of them will think we’re dating, some of them will think we’re friends, as I’ve already mentioned. That’s not important for Mr Sia. He just wants positive reactions and a clean image for you and that’s all. I’ve read some of the articles and posts online that are written about you and me and the tea is that right now, the majority of people think we’re enemies and you’re a rude and disrespectful guy. You know the story. Do I have to say more?”</p>
<p>“Who are you? A PR manager in disguise?”</p>
<p>Harry lets out a small laugh to Louis surprise. “No, but as I’ve told you I’ve already done this so I could tell most of what was written in my contract before I read it.”</p>
<p>“Good for you, eager beaver” Louis says sarcastically.</p>
<p>“Good for <em>you</em>,” Harry responds, equally harsh.</p>
<p>“You’re annoying.”</p>
<p>“Aww! Aren’t you lovely?” Harry fires back. “Seriously, we should meet to figure out everything else, I think. Maybe we could have a decent conversation when we meet in person. Would you prefer my house, your house or the office?”</p>
<p>“Shouldn’t the question be if I wanted a meeting at all?” Louis can’t stop teasing Harry, he just can’t. His intent to be cooperative during this phone call has vanished from one second to the other.</p>
<p>“You know we have to do that. There’s no need to discuss it. My house, your house or the office?”</p>
<p>“My house,” Louis says, clearly annoyed. It feels like Harry is Louis’ disliked teacher who wants to command each and everyone around and he feels like Harry gave him detention without the option of running away. What the hell is he thinking?</p>
<p>“Around seven?”</p>
<p>“What, today?”</p>
<p>“Why not? We can get to know each other a little better plus, we should also discuss how we will proceed and everything else that comes to our minds concerning the job.”</p>
<p>Louis sighs. “Isn’t it enough that you have to stay with me at hotels during the next months?”</p>
<p>“Just a few times actually.”</p>
<p>“That’s more than enough.”</p>
<p>“Oh Louis,” Harry says. “You’re a tough nut.”</p>
<p>Louis rolls his eyes. “Come over but don’t expect me to dress up for you.”</p>
<p>“What a pity. I hoped you’d be wearing your best clothes.”</p>
<p>“Surely not, you fashion victim.”</p>
<p>Harry chuckles. “I don’t know why but you’re somewhat amusing, Mr. Tomlinson.”</p>
<p>“Unfortunately, I can’t say the same about you, Harold.”</p>
<p>“I’d bet five hundred pounds that you were the class clown at school,” Harry tells Louis, his tone light but also there’s a slight sarcastic note noticeable, a sarcastic or an amused note Louis can’t quite put his finger on. Both. Whatever. “The one who could never shut up, the one who was always the centre of attention. I bet you wore the coolest clothes although you’re pretending so hard that you’re absolutely not interested in fashion but I guess . . . back then . . . you were this type of guy. The one who had a crush on his attractive teacher, the one who was constantly provoking this poor soul but secretly wanted to kiss him in the bathroom after school.”</p>
<p>“Stop talking shit because it’s getting scary.”</p>
<p>“Am I right?” Harry says somewhat excitedly and Louis knows there’s a smile plastered on his face. “Am I? Tell me . . . the percentage.”</p>
<p>“The percentage?”</p>
<p>“Of the things that are true.”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Come on.”</p>
<p>“No, Harold.”</p>
<p>“Open your shell.”</p>
<p>“Shut up.”</p>
<p>“Stop being a killjoy! Tell me.”</p>
<p>“Oh okay, okay! 90 percent. You won.” Louis shakes his head because this conversation is awkward but also a little bit funny.</p>
<p>“What was the mistake? The fashion thing?”</p>
<p>“The bathroom thing,” Louis mocks Harry but with a slight funny undertone. There’s silence. Louis somehow knows that Harry wants to know the right answer but Louis isn’t willing to tell him if he asked.</p>
<p>“Text me your address and I’ll be there.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Bye.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. AN UNWANTED GUEST</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Harry arrives, the two of them sit down at the table in Louis’ small kitchen. Harry pulls out a copy of the list where he has already marked parts in different colours what confirms Louis’ assumption that Harry actually was a school nerd, an eager beaver, the teacher’s favourite kid. “Look. I’ve divided these into private and official stunts. The private ones are those when we are supposed to go shopping, when we have lunch or dinner at restaurants, the ski trip, me attending your concerts, walking through Central Park, New Year’s Eve and stuff like that. The official ones are those that have to do with our everyday work like staying at hotels, attending concerts or the fashion show you’re going to accompany me to.”</p>
<p>“Let me see,” Louis says and takes the list out of Harry’s hands. “There are a lot of private ones.”</p>
<p>“Well, the private ones are what people want to see in the media.”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t want to see that shit.”</p>
<p>Harry chuckles. “Yeah Louis, I know <em>you</em> wouldn’t but most of the fans and people who are interested in things like that would want that.”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head. “Crazy.”</p>
<p>“Well, the business <em>is</em> crazy. The first job is on Saturday.</p>
<p>“Don’t you have other work to do than hanging out with me?”</p>
<p>“Sure, but your team has already coordinated everything with my team so things are planned and being here doesn’t affect any of my or your obligations.”</p>
<p>“Aren’t they smart,” Louis says sarcastically.</p>
<p>“Oh, come on Louis, it is what it is.”</p>
<p>“Why do I have the impression that you absolutely don’t mind doing this?” Louis asks, frowning. “I don’t get that. I mean, it will affect your life too, won’t it?”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a serious look. “I still have my private life and what is written in the media is just business, nothing else. Headlines exist to entertain the masses and pictures tell a quick story. Why should I question this all the time? It doesn’t make sense.”</p>
<p>Louis rolls his eyes. “The whole thing doesn’t make sense at all. Why should people want us to get on well? Why can’t they mind their own business?”</p>
<p>“Because today that’s what people want to see and managements support what sells best. Look at all the tabloids that only consists of celebrity news telling you who dates whom, where Beyoncé spent her summer holiday, how Britney looks after loosing weight, what Cara wore for the recent charity event, how Heidi Klum’s kids look, who wore the most beautiful dress to the Oscars. The media gives society what they want and we’re part of it now, easy as that.”</p>
<p>“It’s not that easy for me, Harold.”</p>
<p>“God, you’re annoying. My name is Harry, for the hundredth time.”</p>
<p>“Go ahead.”</p>
<p>“You’re such a baby.” Harry sighs. “Now listen to me.”</p>
<p>Louis exhales audibly. “Okay daddy,” he says sweetly but yet in a mocking tone, batting his eye lashes at Harry.</p>
<p>Harry immediately holds his index finger up, glaring at Louis. “Don’t call me that again, I swear!”</p>
<p>Louis chuckles, pushes down Harry’s hand and makes a quick movement with his head. “Alright, alright, I’m going to be nicer now. What were you talking about?”</p>
<p>“You’re really not easy to handle, Louis Tomlinson.”</p>
<p>“You’ve said that already.”</p>
<p>“I know. It’s just . . . it shows even more. I’ve never met anyone like you.”</p>
<p>“Same.”</p>
<p>Harry presses his lips together as he shakes his head. Louis only shrugs but stays silent. He takes the list again and looks at it. “As far as I can see your tour starts the day after tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, in Manchester. We’ll be playing the venue twice.”</p>
<p>“Yeah that’s noted here. Yes. I’ll be at the first London show where people are supposed to see me. That shouldn’t be difficult and the good thing is I won’t have to fake happiness because I quite like your music.”</p>
<p>“Sure, you do.”</p>
<p>“Yeah! I do!”</p>
<p>“I don’t believe you.”</p>
<p>“Okay, then don’t believe me. I’m sure it will be fun for me though.”</p>
<p>“At least for you.”</p>
<p>“You’re terrible!” Harry says and nudges him so that a small chuckle escapes Louis’ mouth. “See? You’re not as bitter about it as you’re pretending.”</p>
<p>“Do we have to stay together that night?”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t think so. The dates where I’m staying over are marked too. Look.” Harry holds the list up for Louis to see it.</p>
<p>Louis takes a closer look. “You’ll stay with me after the second show in London.” Louis says. “It’s marked here. That’s quite early.”</p>
<p>“To get to know each other better,” Harry says. “I’ve told you that.”</p>
<p>“Oh yes, Mister Know-it-all . . . of course, you’ve already told me that.” Louis lets out an annoyed huff.</p>
<p>“Stop being a prick. You’ll survive sharing a room with me, it shouldn’t be that hard.”</p>
<p>“Who knows. I’m not a prick.”</p>
<p>“Why do you act like one then?”</p>
<p>“Because you’re annoying.”</p>
<p>“I’m not your punchbag! Just because you can’t deal with this it’s not your right to pick on me all the time.” Louis stares at the list, not saying anything. Harry looks at the list again. “The day after, we’ll go out for lunch.”</p>
<p>“Wouldn’t it be enough for you to just meet me for lunch?”</p>
<p>“If it was me to decide, yes. Honestly, I’m not eager to spend time with someone who’s pissed and in a bad mood all the time.”</p>
<p>“I’m not always in a bad mood.”</p>
<p>Harry rises his right eyebrow. “Oh really? Since we’ve met this morning you’ve been in a bad mood.”</p>
<p>“I don’t have just one reason to be in a bad mood actually.” Louis leans back, crossing his arms in front of his chest.</p>
<p>“Stop behaving like an offended three-year old child. We need time to get to know each other so spending time together is a way to make things easier. If you choose to behave like this all the time it will be difficult for us to work. You need to relax a little.”</p>
<p>“Are you high?”</p>
<p>“Why? Because I’m reasonable and I’m trying to look at this job objectively?”</p>
<p>Louis rolls his eyes but stays quiet. “Do you want to know how the plan continues or not?”</p>
<p>“No but you will force me to listen so go on.”</p>
<p>“Jesus!” Harry exhales audibly, then he continues talking. “We’re going to have lunch at “La Luna”, which is a great pizzeria that is owned by an Italian guy, Antonio Ferucci. It’s one of my favourite spots in London and one of the best places for really good pizza and other Italian food. Maybe that will lighten up your mood. Everyone loves food and you won’t be an exception, will you?”</p>
<p>“That’s why Sia picked it. Because it’s <em>your</em> favourite restaurant. Why didn’t he ask me?”</p>
<p>“Louis, he didn’t <em>ask </em>me. The restaurant is kind of exquisite and really, really good, that’s why he probably picked it. It’s easier for the paparazzi there because it’s not near any crowded touristic place but in a small, hidden street.”</p>
<p>“I hope they’ll stay outside because I want to have lunch in peace. Bad enough that I have to be there with you.”</p>
<p>Harry ignores Louis’ innuendo. “I guess they won’t be inside. They’ll probably try to take pictures through the windows.”</p>
<p>“What a crazy plan.”</p>
<p>“Crazy but effective.”</p>
<p>“But we don’t have to kiss, right?”</p>
<p>Harry lets out a small laugh. “How can you change from insulting me to talking about kissing? You’re fascinating, boy.”</p>
<p>Louis shrugs. “Relationships include kissing so I thought that could be an option.” Louis doesn’t know why he’s calmer right now. Secretly, he hopes they won’t have to kiss.</p>
<p>“Not in the beginning, at least.”</p>
<p>“I hate him. I won’t kiss you anywhere.”</p>
<p>“You will have to, darling.”</p>
<p>“Shut up and don’t call me darling.”</p>
<p>“It’s written in the contract. It seems like you have skipped all the important details.”</p>
<p>“I had a headache when I read it,” Louis excuses himself. He lets out an annoyed huff as he hides his face behind the palms of his hands. “Are you serious?” he says annoyed but definitely nicer than before.</p>
<p>“Listen, I understand your frustration. I really do although you won’t believe me but . . . the good thing is that we won’t have to kiss until the end of December.”</p>
<p>“At least that’s good news, well . . . kind of.”</p>
<p>“See. And don’t worry about it, we will pra-,”</p>
<p>“No!”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Don’t say practise,” he pleas. “Please don’t say that.” Louis looks at Harry with an almost sad face. Suddenly he isn’t as pissed as he had been all the time, he’s just defeated. “I can’t deal with this. I can’t kiss anyone else than my boyfriend.” He looks down.</p>
<p>“We should practise that, Louis. Imagine us kissing in front of the cameras without knowing what we’re doing. Not possible. Don’t forget about the main point of this.”</p>
<p>“Terrible.”</p>
<p>“It’s business and you’ll be fine. It won’t be that bad I mean – we’re not going to French kiss. We’re not shooting pornos, Louis. We’ll just pretend being together, like normal couples.”</p>
<p>“Normal couples don’t stunt.”</p>
<p>“This whole thing would be easier if we were friends or if you at least accepted the circumstances and me as your colleague or something like that.”</p>
<p>“Yeah but you’re not my friend and I can’t accept the circumstances as easily as you,” Louis says quietly. He feels like he has lost the battle.</p>
<p>“I might become your friend.”</p>
<p>“Never in a million years.”</p>
<p>Harry lets out an annoyed sound. “Well okay, then we won’t be friends. Anyways, everyone is informed, stylists, drivers, bodyguards, all people who are responsible. All we need to do is being at places in time. Do you think you can manage that? Mr. Sia told me you oversleep easily and stuff.”</p>
<p>“Sia can fuck off. I’m not a child. I can handle a few stupid stunts with <em>you</em>.”</p>
<p>“Fine. Are you excited for the first show?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. It’s cool touring again, being on the road. The stunt thing is the only thing that’s stressing me out right now.”</p>
<p>“It will be okay, just some appearances here and there and after that we’ll go separate ways.”</p>
<p>“At least our time is limited. What’s planned after the London stunts?”</p>
<p>“We’ll be in Dublin and the plan says I should stay with you at the hotel for another night.”</p>
<p>“Again?”</p>
<p>“As I’ve already pointed out, Mr. Sia wants us to spend more time together and since the fans know you’re in Dublin for the show, they’ll assume I’ll be with you if they see the pictures of me arriving at the airport. I have a photoshoot in the morning and in the afternoon, I’ll take a flight to Dublin so there’s room for speculation and as you know, that’s what he wants. I could come to your concert in the evening.”</p>
<p>“Why do you want to attend another concert?”</p>
<p>“Because I think it will be fun! Why not?”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t do that. Well, come if you want but I’m warning you – don’t make me babysit you all the time.”</p>
<p>Harry lets out a small laugh. “Don’t worry. You won’t have to babysit me, ever. I’m in my twenties - I know how to keep myself busy. Oh dear.”</p>
<p>“Who knows.”</p>
<p>As Harry is about to get up, he taps at the list. “I know you’re not the type to immediately do what people want you to but I’d highly recommend reading the contract with <em>all</em> the details. It will help you and me to work better together so you won’t be surprised by stuff that’s already planned.”</p>
<p>“You’re annoying.”</p>
<p>“And you’re stubborn,” Harry responds as he finally gets up from his chair. “Think about my words, okay?”</p>
<p>“Maybe I will,” Louis growls. “And now fuck off, I want to enjoy the rest of the day without thinking about stunts.”</p>
<p>“Lovely final words,” Harry says and rolls his eyes. “Bye Louis, see you on Saturday.”</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. TOUR START</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The tour starts well for One Direction in Manchester. For Louis, the best thing about being in the band is being on stage. When the intro starts playing, the crowd gets wild every time and the adrenaline starts rushing through Louis’ body as they’re standing behind the stage together. The crowd has always the power to fill him with energy what inspires Louis to be better and battle his achievements: the way he sings, the way he interacts with his audience, his song writing, everything. Promo season has been good so far. They did many interviews for radio and TV shows, performed songs live and stuff but nothing comes close to being on stage in front of all those enthusiastic people. Louis loves posting backstage impressions on his social media, too. Most of the comments he gets are cool and sometimes funny so with that he has created another base besides Twitter for connecting with his fans as much as he can.</p>
<p>The band’s family and friends, as well as Louis’ boyfriend Matt, were invited for the first show in Manchester. Every time his loved ones are in the audience, Louis gets extra nervous but also very proud. They have always been supporting him so much that Louis feels like giving back is one of the best things he can do. At the after-show party everyone had lot of fun. The party itself was successful, due to the perfect organization and the surprise karaoke night some crew members had arranged for everyone who wanted to take part. The last guests left the party around four o’clock in the morning and Louis really didn’t remember how he got home that night.</p>
<p>After the soundcheck for the second show in London, the band stays at the venue. Louis wins a table tennis match against his bandmates first, then he plays some video games with Zayn while Niall and Liam are on the phone with their girlfriends. They also have to keep them a secret but that’s the only burden they have to endure. The only thing they have to do is constantly denying any relationships. Louis has to keep Matt a secret <em>and</em> do these stupid stunts on top. While they are playing, Louis gets a text from Harry who tells him that he has just arrived at the airport and that he’s on his way to the venue. Why does he even message him? As if Louis cared. He puts the phone back into his pocket.</p>
<p>“Who was that?” Zayn suddenly asks.</p>
<p>“My boyfriend,” Louis says sarcastically as he rolls his eyes in annoyance.</p>
<p>“Matt?”</p>
<p>“No, you idiot, Harold.”</p>
<p>“Who?”</p>
<p>“Styles! My fake soon to be boyfriend, remember?”</p>
<p>“The model?”</p>
<p>“The model,” Louis huffs. He hates that he’s being reminded of that night again and he also hates that Harry will be here in a few minutes.</p>
<p>Zayn gives Louis a smile. The tip of his tongue is showing between his white teeth, a habit Louis has always loved very much because it makes him look cute. “His name is Harry, not Harold. He’s cool, though? I like him.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Louis grunts, “very cool.”</p>
<p>“Oh, come on . . . Lou! Are you still mad at me because of that incident? I’ve apologized to you at least a hundred times!”</p>
<p>“Yes Zayn, I’m still mad because of that incident!” Louis crosses his arms in front of his chest and glares at his bandmate.</p>
<p>“I’m really sorry,” Zayn says softly. “I wasn’t aware of the fact that you would still be grumpy weeks after that.” He touches Louis’ arm gently but Louis pulls away.</p>
<p>“You yelled at me because of your fucking suit and then you replaced me with Harold and you’re still wondering why I’m grumpy?”</p>
<p>“I overreacted. The suit was borrowed and I panicked.”</p>
<p>“Yeah and then you ignored me for the rest of the night.”</p>
<p>Zayn sighs as he puts the controller onto the table in front of him. He scoots closer to Louis with open arms and wraps them around his friend. He gives him a friendly kiss onto his cheek. “You know I love you, I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me anymore.”</p>
<p>Louis pouts for a second but then he smiles a little bit as he wraps his arms around Zayn too. “I know . . . but still, your reaction hurt me . . . a lot. You know that I’m sensitive when it comes to this.” He pulls back and presses his lips together. Zayn means too much for him to just forget about that night, he can’t change that feeling even if he wanted to. The pictures of Zayn flirting with Harry have been engraved into Louis’ brain and won’t ever fade. In his eyes, they were flirting and that’s what drives Louis insane, still.</p>
<p>Zayn puts his hand onto Louis’ shoulder. “What about another game, you against me? If you win, I’ll give you a back massage whenever you want and if I win, I’ll get one from you.”</p>
<p>Louis knows well about Zayn’s massaging skills so he wouldn’t want to miss this chance. “Deal,” he says and reaches out his hand.</p>
<p>“Deal,” Zayn agrees and shakes Louis’ hand.</p>
<p>Louis starts the racing game they have played quite a lot and both guys are equally good at first. Louis wins the first round, Zayn the second and the third one. In the last seconds of the following game, Louis can turn the game around and wins the fourth round, as well as the last one. After the game has ended, Louis throws the controller onto the sofa and stretches his arms up in the air, his fists balled. “Yes!” he cheers, “I won!” Louis smiles as if he had won the most important football match of the year.</p>
<p>Zayn gives Louis high five. “Wow, that game was sick. Congrats!”</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Louis smiles. “I can’t wait for my massage!”</p>
<p>“Do you think you can forgive me after that? I don’t want you to be grumpy, you’re my best mate here, Lou.”</p>
<p>“I think so, depends on how relaxed I’ll be afterward.” Louis winks playfully and earns a nudge from Zayn.</p>
<p>“I’ll do my best. Would you mind if I call my babe now? The show is going to start in an hour and she’ll have to go to bed soon since she has an exam tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“No problem. I’m hungry anyway.”</p>
<p>“As usual,” Zayn laughs and ruffles through Louis’ hair, then lays down on the sofa and calls his girlfriend.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. HARRY'S ARRIVAL</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis goes to the catering area and sits down with some crew members there. Minutes later, he can hear Harry’s voice in the hallway. “Excuse me, I’ll be right back,” Louis tells them and walks out of the room. As he’s walking toward the door, it already feels like work.</p>
<p>“Hey Louis,” Harry greets Louis as he sees him, “I thought I’d never arrive! The traffic was horrendous today. It took me over two hours to get here.” Harry shoulders his huge, brown leather bag he had put onto the floor.</p>
<p>“I was having dinner. Do you want to come or not?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I heard your catering was great.”</p>
<p>“Who told you that?”</p>
<p>“Rob, your bodyguard. He came to the airport with Jeremy. He looks like a rock! No wonder they’ve chosen him to be your man.”</p>
<p>Louis walks toward the metal door and opens it. Harry follows. “He’s massive. Ben, the other one, is almost the same size. I’ve never been scared with them near me. I think my team knows about you and me at this point, don’t they?”</p>
<p>“Yes. Mr. Sia told us that at the first meeting in London.”</p>
<p>“Seems like I missed this. So, here’s the buffet. Grab whatever you want, I’m over there.” Louis points at a table that’s close.</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
<p>After Harry has filled a plate with healthy food, he walks over to Louis’ table and sits down next to Joyce, the make-up artist. Two guys who are responsible for the lights are also sitting there as well as two members of the band. They immediately get on well with Harry which isn’t hard since he’s talkative and he definitely knows how to entertain people. Louis doesn’t take part in the conversation. Suddenly, Louis feels Joyce nudging him. “Hey love, you’re so quiet. Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah,” Louis says.</p>
<p>“Harry is such a cool person, isn’t he? I thought he’d be kind of arrogant but he’s such a sweetheart,” she says quietly, a big smile plastered on her face. “He’s such a star in the business, one of the most famous models at the moment. I would have never thought someone like him could be like that I mean . . . normal.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Louis says annoyed, “what a sweetheart.”</p>
<p>Joyce laughs. “Oh Louis. Didn’t you sleep well?” She puts her head onto Louis’ shoulder.</p>
<p>Louis decides to play the game. Explaining his mood would only cause more problems. “That might be it. I don’t feel really well today, I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“Well, the after party was quite a blast yesterday. You probably drank too much and went to bed early in the morning, didn’t you?”</p>
<p>“You nailed it.”</p>
<p>Joyce gives Louis a knowing smile. “You’ll wake up on stage then.”</p>
<p>“I hope.” Louis presses his lips together and Joyce rubs his back.</p>
<p>“Of course. You love performing so much!”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Louis smiles, “I really do.”</p>
<p>“Your energy on stage is amazing. Can’t wait for the show today.”</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
<p>Joyce gives Louis another smile as she pulls away and continues listening to the ongoing conversation. Everyone seems to be impressed when it comes to Harry, only Louis isn’t. Maybe it’s because he’s in this fucked up situation and the others aren’t. When Louis has finished eating, he gets up. He doesn’t want to sit there while everyone is just paying attention to Harry, again Like Zayn did at the fashion show. It seems like he’s the light that attracts the moths. He hadn’t been at the table for two minutes and was already talking to everyone. And there it is again, the feeling of being kind of unwanted, like a fifth wheel. Louis walks to his dressing room where he flops down on one of the sofas. He decides to call Matt and talk to him for a while. He manages it to enlighten Louis’ mood to a certain extend and when they have finished talking it doesn’t take long until Jamila tells the boys it’s time to get dressed and get their make-up and hair done.</p>
<p>When Louis is ready for the show, Sophie sits down with Harry and him. “Mr. Sia told me to talk to you before the show to be sure that everything will be okay. Harry is going to be in the VIP section first and in the middle of the show he is supposed to stand next to the stage where I’ve already marked the position with a small x.” Sophie looks at him. “I’ll show you the place right after this. You being there should help to crate attention to you both. Louis, you have to make sure to interact with Harry a little bit so that everyone around notices you and him. Alright?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah,” Louis says annoyed.</p>
<p>“Stop pulling that face, please.” Sophie says, then gives Louis a smile. “Good luck for the show and Harry, have fun!”</p>
<p>“Thank you. I’ve been looking forward for the show for days. It’s nice that I can attend it.”</p>
<p>“That’s great,” Sophie says, “I bet you’ll love it. Bye guys!”</p>
<p>“Why do you always tell people what they want to hear?” Louis asks Harry after Sophie is out of sight.</p>
<p>“What are you talking about? I was just having a conversation, there’s nothing wrong about it.”</p>
<p>“It seemed fake.”</p>
<p>“It wasn’t fake. Why are you so negative about everything?”</p>
<p>“The fact that you’re asking me this shows either that you have no clue about what’s going on here or your brain function is just underexposed.” Louis walks toward the door. As he puts the hand onto the handle, he turns around. “You should go too. The show is going to start in a few and we don’t want to disappoint Sia, do we?” Louis doesn’t look back as he walks out of the room, shaking his head and smiling at his own sarcasm that results out of the absurdity of this situation he’s in with him.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. IN THE HOTEL ROOM</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Luckily, Louis’ anger dissolves pretty quickly during the concert. After some songs he spots Harry standing in the VIP area although it’s quite dark there. His curls give him away easily. People who know Harry will definitely recognize him if they’re close enough. As the show goes on, at some point Louis notices that Harry isn’t in the VIP box anymore so he walks toward the end of the stage where he is supposed to be. Louis continues singing there and looks at Harry a few times and even forces himself to smile once or twice. Some of the fans are reaching out his hands for him and scream his name so obviously they’ve also noticed Harry. After a while Harry walks back to the VIP area where he continues watching the show. About one hour later, the boys get off the stage and leave the venue immediately. While Niall and Liam’s car has left already, Louis and Zayn are waiting for Harry to arrive. A few minutes later he gets in, accompanied by Sophie. While Zayn, Sophie and Harry are talking about the show, Louis looks out of the window. He hates that everyone likes Harry and treats him as if he has always been there after a few hours. And again, Zayn is talking to him and not to Louis. When Zayn finally addresses him, he just mumbles something into his direction and turns toward the window again.</p>
<p>In their hotel room, Louis takes a shower and Harry flops down on his bed with a book. When Louis comes back, Harry looks up. “Are you mad or something?” he asks as he puts the book down.</p>
<p>“Why would you want to know that,” Louis says. He isn’t in the mood to talk to Harry. His presence is enough for now.</p>
<p>“Because we’re here to get to know each other better and you haven’t talked to me since we’ve left the venue.”</p>
<p>“Maybe it’s because I don’t want to talk to you.” Louis gets under the covers and takes his phone from the bedside table.</p>
<p>“But Louis, we should really-,”</p>
<p>“Read your book and leave me be.”</p>
<p>Harry sighs but doesn’t say anything more. He gets into a comfortable position and continues reading while Louis checks his Twitter account. What he discovers is way more than he was expecting. Harry’s presence at the concert really hit the bullseye. The fans have been posting texts and photos of the show for hours now and additionally, there’s a discussion going on about if Harry was really there or not. The hashtag #harryandlouis is trending worldwide already. On top of all the posts, Louis has gotten hundreds of messages on Twitter but he ignores them. One particular picture is most popular among the fans: the one that shows Harry looking up to the stage where Louis sings, his eyes locked with Harry’s. Louis shakes his head and sighs as he scrolls through his timeline.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Seems like my baby is in love! OMG!!!!” </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“We need more proof. They might be friends only.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Harry and Louis? Am I dreaming? They’re made for each other, look at them!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Harry isn’t gay, you stupid bitches.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“If my boyfriend looked at me like Harry looked at Louis yesterday, I’d delete my account and never talk to any of you again.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I need some fanfiction about them! Can someone write it?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What a lovely story. After Louis flipped Harry off, we’re getting that?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Only friendship? I don’t think so, look at Harry’s heart eyes.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Is this true? Harry was at One Direction’s concert in London? I’m getting a heart attack, someone help me!”</em>
</p>
<p>Why are people exaggerating so much? It was the first time they’ve been seen together and that is what the fans think? Sia must be satisfied with these reactions, a lot. It pisses Louis off that his plan is working out already. If it didn’t have, they could have stopped the “project” but that’s not an option right now.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. RILEY</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Suddenly, Louis’ phone rings. It’s his best friend Riley Louis knows from school in Doncaster.</p>
<p>“Is this true? What happened with Matt?”</p>
<p>“Hi Riley,” Louis smiles. Hearing her voice always makes him happy because she’s such an energetic, positive person. He gets up from the bed and locks himself in the bathroom.</p>
<p>“Oh, sorry Lou . . . is it okay that I call? I know it’s late but I thought you’d probably be awake.”</p>
<p>“It’s fine.”</p>
<p>“I’m just nervous I mean . . . have you seen the pictures online? Well you . . . you probably know which pictures since you’re in them but . . . I wonder if you have already seen them and the headlines? And what everyone posts on-,”</p>
<p>“Twitter? I know.”</p>
<p>“Are the rumours <em>true</em>? You’re friends with HARRY FUCKING STYLES? Oh my god!” Riley yells what makes Louis hold the phone a few inches away from his ear. “Or do you have a crush on him? I can’t believe this, why didn’t you-,”</p>
<p>“Riley Mathilda Lewis! Could you just stop for a second?”</p>
<p>“Oh, sorry Lou, I didn’t want to, I mean I-,”</p>
<p>Louis sighs. He isn’t angry because of Riley asking him about Harry. He’s angry because the stunt already has an effect on people. “Hey love, calm down, calm down . . . please. What have I told you when it comes to whatever kind of media?”</p>
<p>“That I shouldn’t believe what they publish at first sight.”</p>
<p>“And?”</p>
<p>“And I should talk to you first before assuming things.” She sighs.</p>
<p>“Exactly.”</p>
<p>“But how can I calm down after everything I’ve seen and read? They talk about you everywhere! They even mention that you have a crush on him.”</p>
<p>“Oh God,” Louis almost whispers. “Ri, it’s a stunt. It’s fake.”</p>
<p>“What is fake?”</p>
<p>“I’m neither friends with him, nor do I have a crush on him. The only one I’m dating is Matt. This thing isn’t my choice and also, it wasn’t my idea.”</p>
<p>There’s silence at the other end. “But why are you-,“</p>
<p>“Ri,” Louis says softly, “Nothing you’ve already seen or whatever you’ll see in the next months won’t be real. After the incident at the fashion show with him my PR manager came up with this idea. He wants to rebuild my image that way. It’s just business shit that should help my career.”</p>
<p>“Your image? Like what? You’re with Matt and now your manager wants to make you look good while you’re cheating on him with Harry? Is it that? I don’t understand. I mean, are you?”</p>
<p>“No, no, no, it’s not that. I’m not cheating on anyone and . . . wait. It’s so fucked up.” Louis takes a deep breath and exhales. “I’m not sure if you remember that I flipped Harry off after the show and it was all over the media.”</p>
<p>“I remember that.”</p>
<p>“Okay. So Sia thought if we got along well and dated eventually, people would forget about that incident. Being a bad boy isn’t profitable for a boyband image like mine and that’s the tea.”</p>
<p>“Oh . . . okay . . . I think now I understand.”</p>
<p>“Yeah and I hate it, trust me. You know I have to keep my relationship with Matt a secret and I wish I wouldn’t have to do any of this.”</p>
<p>There’s silence at the other end before Riley speaks again. “I’m sorry. I kind of thought it might have been true. Harry is . . . oh god, he’s so incredibly beautiful, I love him.”</p>
<p>“Beautiful? Maybe he’s annoyingly beautiful, if that’s a valid expression.”</p>
<p>“Don’t say that.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to stay in a room with him, do you? You don’t have to spend your time with him when you don’t want to, that’s a big difference here. I’m telling you that he’s annoying as fuck.”</p>
<p>“What? You’re sharing rooms!? Why didn’t you tell me?”</p>
<p>“Because it’s not that important.”</p>
<p>“Is he with you now? Can I talk to him?”</p>
<p>“He is in the bedroom and no, you can’t talk to him.”</p>
<p>“Oh Lou,” she says disappointed. “I love him.”</p>
<p>“Oh Riley,” Louis mocks her in a playful way. “I’m thankful I don’t have to work with him for more than a few months. It’s really not fun and please don’t be angry that I can’t share your enthusiasm concerning him. It’s a fucking burden and I just don’t want to think about how Matt must feel right now. I hope he hasn’t seen the pictures and everything. It must be disturbing.”</p>
<p>“Sorry Lou, I . . . I shouldn’t have said that. You’re right.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, it’s fine. You can like Harry but please don’t let him creep into our friendship. I need him to stay away from you.” Riley stays quiet. “Are you okay? How’s high school? Is there any new gossip I should be informed about?” Louis can hear her smiling at the other end and with that he changes the topic quickly. While he’s on the phone with Riley, someone else tries to call Louis on his business phone. Louis takes the device and looks at it. He rolls his eyes when he sees Sia’s number on the display. After he ends the call with his friend, he calls Sia back. His concern must be very important for him because he has never called that late.</p>
<p>“Have you seen the reactions? The press is already speculating about you and Harry, your names are all over social media!” Sia’s voice sounds happy but still controlled by his professionalism and bitter character.</p>
<p>“Oh, congrats to you.”</p>
<p>“You two are going to be the most talked about couple in a few weeks and if you think about it, you’ll notice that this is absolutely going to help you out of the negative headlines we have been dealing with over the last weeks!” Sia sounds as if the stunt with Harry was some religious exculpation.</p>
<p>Louis wants to stop the call. “I’m in bed already,” he lies.</p>
<p>“I’ve said everything I wanted to say.” The man chuckles awkwardly. “By the way, you look the bomb together.”</p>
<p>“Fuck that.”</p>
<p>“Stop being so negative about this. You two are doing great!”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, alright,” Louis mumbles, then Sia ends the call. Louis walks back into the bedroom where Harry is already sleeping. Louis could be at home now, at home in his own bed. He walks over to his side and lays down again. It seems like Sia’s plan is about to work out but Louis gives a shit about that.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. THE NEXT MORNING</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the morning, Louis wakes up around half past eight. It takes some time for him to realize where he is and who slept next to him last night. As he looks over, the bed is empty. Where is Harry? He hasn’t left obviously since his bag is still there and his belongings too. Louis goes to the bathroom to pee, then hurries back to the warm bed. He nuzzles into the covers and lets out a loud sigh. The bed is one of his favourite places to be, especially early in the morning – and eight thirty is early in the morning for him. He closes his eyes again. Although Louis can’t manage to fall asleep again, he relaxes. He loves the feeling of just being in bed with his eyes closed, enjoying the silence around him that’s such a contrast to the hectic days on tour.</p>
<p>About half an hour later, he hears the clicking of the door. Harry. Louis turns around to face the half-opened bedroom door. Louis can hear the steps coming closer until Harry is standing there in front of him, wearing a headband, a black tracksuit and neon yellow trainers. His face is red and he looks as if he had just accomplished a marathon. “Where were you?” Louis’ morning voice is full with sleep. “It’s not even ten.”</p>
<p>Harry comes closer and sits down on the bed. A musky, floral note hits Louis’ nose for a slight second. How can someone smell like this after working out? “I went out for a run and then I decided to exercise at the gym.” Harry exhales audibly. “Puh! I need a shower now.”</p>
<p>“You’re really crazy.”</p>
<p>“I love sport.”</p>
<p>“But it’s so early!” Louis moans. “Normal people sleep in the morning.”</p>
<p>“I enjoy going for a run early in the morning. Sometimes I even start around five or six. It’s the best time of the day! The air is fresh and everything is so calm since usually nobody is outside. It was wonderful this morning since it was a little foggy and everything looked so mysterious around me.”</p>
<p>“Ugh. That sounds terrible.”</p>
<p>Harry smiles. “Well, not for me.”</p>
<p>Louis grunts as he turns around again.</p>
<p>“I’ll shower and have breakfast afterwards. Would you like to come?”</p>
<p>“No, thanks,” Louis says and frowns. Why should he.</p>
<p>Harry takes some underwear out of his bag, then walks out of the room. Louis waits in his bed until Harry has left, then he takes a shower too. He calls the room service to order some toast, eggs with bacon and coffee for himself. He sits down at the dining table and eats as he watches the cars and people passing by in the streets. Louis hopes that Harry won’t be back soon. Minutes later, Matt calls him.</p>
<p>“Hey Lou, how are you?”</p>
<p>“Hey, I’m tired. The show was cool but exhausting and I couldn’t really sleep well.”</p>
<p>“I also couldn’t sleep well last night.”</p>
<p>Louis leans back in his chair. “Why?”</p>
<p>Matt sighs. “Because I saw the headlines and the pictures of you and him and that made me think.”</p>
<p>“Ignore them, they don’t mean anything.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, why do you doubt it? It’s just the stunt as I’ve told you before.”</p>
<p>“It’s hard for me to see and read all this and thinking it’s fake.” He sounds sad, not angry.</p>
<p>“Do you think they look real?”</p>
<p>“They do.”</p>
<p>“Oh boy. I’m sorry that you have to go through this. I’m so pissed at Sia . . . you can’t imagine how much but for you it must be way harder since you have to sit at home and . . . yeah, I’m sorry is all I can say. Just ignore everything and talk to me whenever you feel like it.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you nailed it.”</p>
<p>“And it’s me who is responsible, that’s the worst.  If I hadn’t flipped Harold off you wouldn’t be in that situation now – we wouldn’t be in that situation.”</p>
<p>“Everyone makes mistakes, Lou. It’s okay. I’ll just suffer a little bit more when I think of you,” Matt says. Louis can hear him smiling through the phone.</p>
<p>“You need to trust me, Matt. There will be more pictures, more articles, more rumours. Everything you’ll see is just stunting, nothing else. Spending time with Harry is necessary evil. He’s boring and behaves like he was Sia’s robot.”</p>
<p>“Okay. I’ll try to switch into the ignore modus.”</p>
<p>“That would be the best, yeah.”</p>
<p>“Do you think I could visit you on tour?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know to be honest. I’m afraid I have to ask Sia first. If I invited you without informing him, I know it would end in a catastrophe.” Louis lets out a huff. “I hate being dependent on him and his stupid decisions.”</p>
<p>“Well then . . . at least we can be together when you’re home.”</p>
<p>“At least.”</p>
<p>“But still, do you think you could ask him for me?”</p>
<p>“Yes, definitely. I’m going to ask him.”</p>
<p>“Cool.” In the background Louis can hear people talking. “Lou, I’d love to talk to you for a little longer but my break is almost over.”</p>
<p>“Okay love, stay safe.”</p>
<p>“You too. I love you.”</p>
<p>“Love you, darling. Bye.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. RAGE IN THE BELLY</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis puts the phone aside and then continues eating. He knows that it will to be extremely difficult or even impossible for him to convince Sia to let Matt stay with him for a few days on tour officially but nevertheless he wants to try it. Louis finishes his breakfast and gulps down the rest of his coffee before he deals Sia’s number.</p>
<p>“Ask me that question again because I’m not sure if I understood it correctly,” Sia grunts. The irony in his voice annoys Louis. It’s clear Sia is using his power against Louis, wanting him to know who the boss. How</p>
<p>“You heard me.”</p>
<p>“Say it again.”</p>
<p>Fuck him. “Could Matt stay for a few days on tour with me?” Louis’ voice sounds annoyed. He shouldn’t talk to him like that when he wants something but he’s an impulsive person who can’t hide his feelings well. He feels absolutely stupid repeating his request, mostly because he knows the devil is just fucking with him for fun. Louis hates those redundant power games.</p>
<p>Sia lets out a cynical laugh. “You can be sure that I won’t allow any visits as long as you’re working with Styles.”</p>
<p>“That’s fucking unfair!”</p>
<p>“You have enough days off to see him when you’re at home – which already is a huge risk for the business.”</p>
<p>“We only have a few days off during the next months and you well know that I also want to spend time my family.”</p>
<p>“Listen, people are supposed to think you’re interested in Styles and only Styles.”</p>
<p>Louis lets air flow through his lips. “Do you have an idea what that does to him? How Matt feels when he sees all those pictures and articles?”</p>
<p>“That’s not my problem if he’s not capable of dealing with business. Don’t interfere in things that you’re not responsible for. End of discussion. I won’t allow him to visit you on tour as long as your stunt is on. Bye Louis.”</p>
<p>“What the fuck!” Louis yells after Sia has ended the call. He hits the tabletop with the palm of his hand so hard that it hurts. Louis gets up and walks around like a tiger in a cage. “He’s a fucking bastard,” Louis yells, “a fucked-up bastard! I hate him! I hate him so fucking much!”</p>
<p>Suddenly, Louis can hear someone knocking on the entrance door. “Louis? Louis, are you okay?”</p>
<p>It’s Niall. Louis wasn’t thinking about the fact that someone could actually hear him swearing. He walks over to the door that’s only a few feet away from him and opens it.</p>
<p>“What happened? I heard you yelling.”</p>
<p>Louis lets Niall in.  “Sia is such an asshole! He hates me with every fibre of his body, I swear!”</p>
<p>“Why should he hate you? Should I make some tea for you so that you can calm down?”</p>
<p>“No Niall, I don’t want any tea. I want freedom – why is that such a big problem? What is this fucking business about? Lies, lies and lies all over the place! I have all that money and I really thought it would make me happy but the only one who’s happy with everything is Sia with his fucking stupid ideas of dragging me for something that isn’t even worth talking about!”</p>
<p>“Are you talking about stunting?”</p>
<p>“No, Niall, I’m talking about the weather!” Louis says sarcastically, throwing his hands up in the air. “Of course, I’m talking about stunting!” When Louis looks at Niall’s face, he knows he shouldn’t have talked to his friend in that tone. “Sorry,” Louis sighs. “I didn’t want to attack you for something you’re not guilty for it’s just . . . this whole thing is driving me crazy. I didn’t mean to talk to you like this.”</p>
<p>Niall puts his hand onto Louis’ shoulder. “Don’t worry, it’s okay. Tell me what happened.” He guides Louis to the sofa where the boys sit down. Louis isn’t the type of person who bottle things up and don’t talk about their problems. He’s quite the contrary. He needs to talk when he’s enraged, Louis needs to get everything out.</p>
<p>“Sia won’t allow Matt to visit me on tour as long as the stunts will take place. He said we had enough days off when I told him that I also wanted to spend time with my family he said he didn’t care about that. How can someone be so cruel? He gives a shit about Matt’s or my feelings! Why do I have to pretend I’m perfect like I was some saint or nun? I flipped Harry off at the fashion show – yes but that wasn’t something extraordinary other people my age wouldn’t do! Does Sia really believe that the fans will stop supporting us because I was angry or because I was rude to this annoying show-off? So if they believed that shit they would probably also believe I’m not being sexual active or what? Why do I have to be perfect in Sia’s eyes? I’m not perfect like anyone else isn’t! Why so? Because we have to sell this ridiculous clean image to young girls? What for? Our fans aren’t just young girls. There are so many adults and older fans between them and I know not everyone has such an awful, romanticized view on us. I’m sure but he thinks they’re all stupid and most of all he thinks I am.” Louis lets himself fall back against the backrest of the sofa. He feels exhausted after this rant. Louis rubs his face, letting out some ailing sounds. Then he looks at Niall. He feels defeated by his own words right now.</p>
<p>“I understand and I’m very sorry that you have to go through this. It must be such a burden.”</p>
<p>“The small stunt with Eleanor two years ago wasn’t like that. It was okay, more or less friendly and it didn’t hurt anyone but this one is just another dimension since Matt is involved.”</p>
<p>Niall nods. “It must be hard. To come back to what you said about our fans . . . I agree. I’m sure many of them are smarter than Sia thinks and I can understand your anger because of that, Lou. But it’s only business, I-,”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head as he leans forward toward Niall, gesturing with his hands. “Niall, do you know who your words remind me off?”</p>
<p>Niall shakes his head.</p>
<p>“Harold.”</p>
<p>“Harold?”</p>
<p>“Styles.”</p>
<p>“Is that his name?”</p>
<p>“Fuck his name. I call him Harold.”</p>
<p>“You don’t like him, do you?”</p>
<p>“Should I? Niall, he said the same in Sia’s office. He said it was only business. Even so, it doesn’t mean it’s right and now you as my friend, you want to tell me that I should just <em>accept</em> that? Really?”</p>
<p>“Louis, all I’m trying to say is that unfortunately, sometimes in our business we have to follow rules we don’t like. I’m also not happy about your situation because I’m your friend. I can understand that it’s not easy that you have to stunt while the others and I don’t have to deal with something like that.”</p>
<p>Louis nods. “That’s another point. I feel like an idiot, a punished kid, a black sheep.”</p>
<p>“You’re not an idiot, Lou. You’re impulsive and you made a mistake that you shouldn’t have done in the business. That’s all. You’re right. If you had another job it wouldn’t matter at all but now you have to deal with the consequences that hurt you. I’m sorry, I probably can’t say anything to make you feel better.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Louis sighs. I’m just . . . I’m just so unhappy about it. We’ve done one stunt so far and it wasn’t even something big and people are already going crazy about him and I. I can’t stop thinking of how Matt must feel. I have the impression that he’s more hurt than he’ll ever admit and maybe I’m also trying to play it down when I talk to him but knowing that Harry and I are going to do more stunts that are even bigger than this one . . . I just don’t know how to handle that. He's such a suck-up, you should have seen him in Sia’s office. He told Sia what he wanted to hear and he tries to behave as if everything was fun and normal.”</p>
<p>“From what I’ve experienced, he’s a nice guy.”</p>
<p>“Why is everyone saying that? He’s snobby, conceited and just interested in making more money than he already has. I saw his contract and trust me, the amount he gets for this shit is huge. Have you ever stayed in a room with someone you didn’t like? It sucks.”</p>
<p>“But Louis, you should give him a chance. He’s doing his job and if you calm down a little you could at least have a decent time together. You don’t have to kiss him or something, do you?” Louis doesn’t answer but gives Niall a telling look. “Oh shit.”</p>
<p>“Oh shit,” Louis repeats. “Exactly.”</p>
<p>“He wants us to practise.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“You heard me.”</p>
<p>Niall smiles, then lets out a giggle. “Wait, Harry wants to practise kissing with you? Really?”</p>
<p>Louis nudges him. “That’s not funny!”</p>
<p>“Just a little bit.”</p>
<p>“I don’t find it funny.”</p>
<p>Niall gets serious again. “Will you kiss him?”</p>
<p>“You can kiss him if you want but I won’t.”</p>
<p>“We’ll see,” Niall chuckles. “He’s handsome, maybe I will if you don’t go for it.”</p>
<p>“If you don’t stop making fun of me immediately, I’ll cut your guitar strings tonight, Niall!” Louis threatens, but he can’t hide a playful undertone in his voice. “And I’ll make you wear a similar ridiculous sign again like the one where your name was spelled “Naill”.”</p>
<p>Niall holds his hands up in defence. “Okay, okay, I’ll stop. What about tea now? We could drink some and then go to the gym? Would you want to?”</p>
<p>“You know I don’t like going to the gym.”</p>
<p>“It will help to loosen you up a little bit,” Niall winks. “Now come with me, we’ll drink some tea in my room first.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>When Louis comes back to his room after working out, he feels a little bit better. Meanwhile, Harry has also returned. Luckily Louis needs a shower so he can avoid small talk for now. While he’s under the shower, he hears his bandmates coming over. They greet him happily when he leaves the bathroom and ask him if he wants to join them and Harry for lunch at the restaurant. Of course, Louis wants to have lunch with his bandmates but if he could choose, Harry wouldn’t be part of it but he can’t say that now. It would let him look like an idiot. After lunch, the band has some appointments and shortly after the last appointment has ended, it’s already time for everyone to leave for the show.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>After the concert Jeremy drives the band, Harry and the security guys back to the hotel. They usually aren’t in one car together due to security reasons but the second one broke down and couldn’t be fixed that quickly as it needed to be. “This show was even better than the one yesterday,” Harry says excitedly. “The energy, your voices, the music, the crowd . . . everything was great entertainment for two hours straight and Zayn, your voice sounds so warm - it captures me every time you sing a solo line. Amazing. I really understand why your fans love you all so much, they don’t have any other choice. You’re quite addictive.”</p>
<p>“Thanks mate,” Zayn says and gives Harry a smile, “thanks for the compliment.”</p>
<p>“I’m happy you enjoyed the show,” Niall adds. “But I’m sure these weren’t your first concerts, were they?”</p>
<p>“Might be?” Liam jokes.</p>
<p>“No, no,” Harry answers, “I’ve been to other shows before but yours are just so different. I can’t quite describe why it’s that capturing really. You should be able to watch them from the audience but of course that’s impossible.”</p>
<p>“Ha. Ha. What a joke,” Louis remarks mockingly.</p>
<p>“Stop being so rude, Louis,” Zayn says and swats his friend’s thigh. “That sucks.”</p>
<p>“It also sucks that I’m forced to do that shit,” Louis growls and points at Harry. He rolls his eyes as he turns his head to look out of the window. Being reprimanded in by Zayn (plus in front of everyone!) hurts him and he feels like an idiot again. Louis leans his head against the window and stays silent for the rest of the journey, trying to blend out everyone around him.</p>
<p>In their hotel room, Louis’ bad mood is still present. He’s pissed at Harry and his bandmates. Again, everyone only paid attention to him. Harry, Harry, Harry. Why does Louis have to stay in a room with him? It really feels like a punishment. Like he should be reminded of how good Harry was in contrary to him. Louis grabs his shirt and some fresh underwear from his bag quickly and disappears into the bathroom. Still, he doesn’t want to talk to Harry and he’s glad about every situation where he can stay away from him. After taking his shower, Louis gets ready for bed and lays down. He doesn’t want to pay much attention to Harry and he’s glad that Harry doesn’t talk to him. He turns his back toward him as he takes his phone to scroll through his messages.</p>
<p>“How can I get to know you better when you don’t talk to me?” Harry asks after some time.</p>
<p>Louis doesn’t turn around. “Who said I wanted to know you better?”</p>
<p>“That’s why I’m here and it’s part of our contract. We can’t work properly if we’re not going on well. It will be very difficult like that.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to get on well with you, I just want you to leave me alone.”</p>
<p>“You’re quite stubborn.” Harry tries to say that in a funny way but Louis won’t buy it. He’s not in the mood for jokes.</p>
<p>“And you’re annoying.”</p>
<p>Harry doesn’t respond. Louis feels the bed shifting. “Sleep well,” Harry finally says. Minutes later he’s fast asleep. Louis turns his head to look at him and shakes his head. How could he ever get along with this man? Louis sends Matt a message and they continue their chat for a while. Louis promises to visit him a soon as possible. If he could, he’d go home right now. He could do it, theoretically, but he knows it’s better to stick to the rules.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. AT THE PIZZERIA</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Do you want some tea? Niall told me that you like black tea in the morning.” Harry’s voice sounds friendly and a smile is plastered on his face.</p>
<p>Louis squints his eyes and rubs them. “Are you planning on poison me with that tea?” He’s tired. His head aches a little bit since he didn’t sleep well that night, again.</p>
<p>Harry frowns at first but then he lets out a small laugh. “Where do you get these ideas from? I’m just offering you tea but if you don’t want it, no would be enough as an answer.” He turns around and walks out of the room.</p>
<p>Louis stretches himself and yawns. He’s tired and hungry, an awful combination. Maybe he should drink some tea to at least have something in his stomach until he has breakfast. It takes Louis minutes to finally push his cover away. He grabs a sweater and throws it over his head before he walks out of the bedroom slowly, rubbing his eyes again. “Where’s the tea?” he asks, yawning again. Louis rubs his arms because still, he’s freezing a little bit.</p>
<p>Harry is standing near the big table, pouring tea into a mug. “Here,” he says as he puts the mug onto the table for Louis, then he takes another mug off the shelf. “It’s nice that you’ve changed your mind.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah,” Louis growls. “Fuck I’m tired today.”</p>
<p>“No wonder. You were tossing and turning.” Harry sits down opposite Louis. He takes a sip of his tea and cups the mug with his hands.</p>
<p>“I dreamt weird things about my boyfriend and you and everything was a mess.”</p>
<p>“That might come from you stressing yourself too much with that job.”</p>
<p>“Job?” Louis laughs derogatorily. “This is not a job. This is a burden.”</p>
<p>“We have to get along with each other, Louis. If you at least tried to see it as a job it wouldn’t be so terrible for you, that’s what I mean.”</p>
<p>“Why do you care? Has Sia called and instructed you to talk me into this shit?”</p>
<p>“Nobody has said anything to me. I have ears and eyes,” Harry answers sharply. Louis stays quiet. Harry takes a sip of his mug. Louis holds his in both hands, staring out of the windows on the right. “I just want you to know that you can talk to me about the whole situation,” Harry says. Louis gives him a disparaging look. He gets up and walks into the bedroom where he flops down on his bed. He doesn’t want to talk to Harry. Louis just wants him to leave him alone, that’s all. A few minutes later, he hears the door closing. Louis checks carefully if Harry is really gone and when he’s sure of it, he takes his clothes off in the bedroom and gets under the shower quickly. He stays there for quite a long time until the whole room is full with white-grey steam.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Rob is going to pick us up at half past twelve,” Harry says when he returns. “He told me to tell you.” Louis is sitting on the sofa, scrolling through his phone. He looks up and nods without saying anything. “He’s funny. We had a long chat. Did you know that he saved two little kittens? He’s such a colossus, who would have thought he could hold a tiny, little creature in his huge hands without squeezing it too tight?”</p>
<p>“Two sides of a man.”</p>
<p>“He’s got the perfect job, just as you.” Harry says and sits down opposite Louis.</p>
<p>“What are you talking about?”</p>
<p>“I was at your show, remember?”</p>
<p>Louis rolls his eyes. “How could I forget.”</p>
<p>“Stop being sarcastic all the time. I wanted to say something nice about you.” Louis doesn’t respond. He doesn’t need Harry’s attention. “Your voice is unique. There was a moment where you stopped singing because you lost your microphone or something and I swear, the others didn’t sound half as good together as they did with you.” He pauses. “It was a great show.”</p>
<p>“You prefer Zayn’s voice from what I remember.”</p>
<p>“Louis, please.”</p>
<p>“I don’t see your point.”</p>
<p>“All I want to say is that I like your music and I think you’re doing a great job.”</p>
<p>“You’re quite a suck-up, aren’t you?”</p>
<p>“Louis! Why are you suspicious with everything I say to you?”</p>
<p>“Because I don’t trust you.”</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>“Haven’t I made clear that I’m not hyped by you or the situation? And look at you, you’re always telling people what they want to hear. Sia, my crew, my band. Everyone thinks you’re cool and nice and kind of perfect but I won’t buy that.”</p>
<p>“What are you talking about? I treat people with kindness and in my eyes, that’s something that shouldn’t be seen as negative and most of all – I’m not perfect!”</p>
<p>“How can you be kind to Sia then? He’s such a bad person! He’s only chasing after money, no matter if he might hurt someone or not.”</p>
<p>“It’s business. I don’t make the rules. My management told me about that job and I agreed because it seemed to be for a good cause.”</p>
<p>“A good cause? What do you think is this - charity?”</p>
<p>“No Louis but especially in your business it’s the image that sells and you know that yours isn’t the best at the moment. I thought I could help you, sort of. It’s nothing like saving animals or protesting against nuclear power plants but at least, it’s acceptable, more or less.”</p>
<p>“You sound like one of his co-workers.”</p>
<p>“I have a realistic view on it. Have you seen what people write about me? Probably not because if so, you wouldn’t talk to me like this.”</p>
<p>“Don’t try to make you look like a victim here, it won’t work.”</p>
<p>“I’m not a victim, Louis.” Harry sighs. “But okay, let’s stop discussing. It’s almost eleven. I’ll ask Jamila if we should get dressed.” Harry gets up from the sofa and leaves the room. Minutes later he comes back with Jamila and Sophie. After Jamila has dressed them, Sophie gives Louis and Harry some additional instructions for the stunt. After she has ended her speech, Rob picks both guys up.</p>
<p>Jeremy is already waiting for them in the underground parking. On the journey to the restaurant, Harry and Louis have a conversation with both men about traffic, cars and the Formula One. It turns out that Jeremy’s father was a successful driver for years but he had to stop racing because of an injury he contracted from an accident. Nevertheless, Jeremy had been racing for years too until he met his wife and started a family.</p>
<p>“We’re close guys,” Jeremy informs everyone. “I can already see the paparazzi and some girls standing there. I’ll park the car in a nearby garage and join Rob for lunch after you’re in.”</p>
<p>“Won’t you stay with us?” Louis asks. He wants to seize every opportunity to not be alone with Harry.</p>
<p>“No, Sophie told us we shouldn’t sit next to you. I’ll be around with Rob in case if something happens.”</p>
<p>Louis huffs. “What’s that shit?”</p>
<p>“It’s called business,” Rob chuckles as he turns around in the car.</p>
<p>“I hate it. Why does everyone find that funny except for me?”</p>
<p>“Hey, at least you don’t have to stunt with an idiot, Louis.”</p>
<p>“Don’t say that,” Harry tells Rob, “he would rather stunt with an idiot than with me.”</p>
<p>Louis rolls his eyes. “You’re annoying, both of you.”</p>
<p>“Maybe it’s you who is stunting with an idiot, Harry,” Rob says playfully. Louis stays quiet. The more he says, the more fun they will make of him. “Okay you two, now get your shit together. We’ve almost arrived. No autographs, no photos with fans for today. Don’t stop walking. You can wave to the fans if you want but please go inside quickly. Every stop puts you and those people in danger and I don’t want anyone to get hurt. There are more people than I’ve expected.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Harry and Louis say in unison. From outside they can hear the fans and paparazzi. There are no barriers put up to hold the people back. The only security guy is Rob and although Louis knows that Rob is a really strong guy, he feels nervous. Rob gets out of the car first to open the car door for Harry and Louis. The screams and the yelling of the paparazzi are getting louder when they get off the car. The noise around him almost hurts Louis’ ears. As he gets off the car, he’s nearly blinded by the flashes of the cameras. He can see the crowd moving slightly since the fans are pushing each other. Louis smiles to the left and to the right, then walks toward the entrance of the restaurant as Rob has told him. He walks inside quickly and Harry follows. While Jeremy drives away to park the car, Rob goes out again to instruct the crowd. Louis can hear him talking loudly. If he didn’t know him, he’d actually be a little bit scared of the tall man. He should be able to keep this crowd under control. Louis is sure that the girls will listen to Rob since his presence and aura can be quite intimidating. Somehow Rob manages to tackle the situation.</p>
<p>Shortly after Harry and Louis have entered the restaurant, a man who looks like Antonio Ferrucci walks towards them with a huge smile on his bearded face. He probably is in his fifties and looks like an Italian movie star with his black locks that are all over the place. Obviously, he’s in a very good mood. His eyes sparkle as he greets his two guests exuberantly before he leads them to a table for two on the right side of the room. Rob comes over to tell him and the boys that he prefers to stay near the door with Jeremy in case if someone tried to come inside. Antonio nods and asks one of his waiters to prepare a table for them.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry for the circumstances outside,” Harry apologizes. “I hope your other guests won’t feel disturbed.”</p>
<p>Antonio puts his hand onto Harry’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, everything is fine. I hope you’ll enjoy your stay at my restaurant.” He gives Harry a smile. “Here’s the menu for both of you and if you have any questions, please don’t hesitate to ask me or my waiters. Would you already like something to drink?”</p>
<p>“Just water for me, please,” Harry nods. “Thank you.”</p>
<p>Louis looks up from the menu. “I’d like a beer, please. One you’d recommend.”</p>
<p>“Alright Mr Tomlinson. Mille grazie!” Antonio almost sings the words as he walks away.</p>
<p>When he has disappeared, Harry bends over to Louis. “He’s funny, isn’t he?”</p>
<p>“He is. Maybe he thinks that after we leave all the girls will have lunch here too so he’s smelling a millennium business.”</p>
<p>“Probably.”</p>
<p>Louis and Harry immense themselves into the menu. Harry chooses rice with chicken breast and vegetables, plus a small mixed salad while Louis orders a big pepperoni pizza. Before their main menus are served, Antonio brings Harry and Louis a plate filled with various appetizers that look fantastic and taste es good as they look. While they’re eating, Louis can still hear the girls outside although they’ve calmed down. From time to time, the cameras of the paparazzi are flashing. Only minutes later, the main dishes arrive.</p>
<p>“I’m so hungry,” Louis tells Harry as he cuts his pizza into small pieces. “The food is amazing. I wouldn’t have thought this place was so good.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I was hungry too. I only had tomatoes, paprika and cucumber for breakfast this morning and a yoghurt with berries.”</p>
<p>Louis stops eating for a second and stares at Harry, frowning. “Do you always eat stuff like that?”</p>
<p>Harry puts his glass down and frowns. “Stuff like that?”</p>
<p>“Rabbit food, mostly – minus the yoghurt.”</p>
<p>Harry lets out a laugh. “Rabbit food?”</p>
<p>“What? It’s rabbit food!”</p>
<p>“I like vegetables and healthy food in general. What’s wrong about it?”</p>
<p>“It’s boring? Wouldn’t you rather have a piece of my pizza?”</p>
<p>Harry shakes his head. “No, thanks. I’m pretty happy with my dish.”</p>
<p>“I bet you’re eating less than you should.”</p>
<p>“Not every model has an eating disorder, Louis,” Harry says seriously. “I admit I have to stay in shape what means that I have to keep an eye on what I eat and fitness, but that doesn’t mean I’m not allowed to eat.”</p>
<p>“I thought models aren’t allowed to eat much in general.”</p>
<p>“Some agencies have shady rules but I’d never be in that business if I had to starve for my job.”</p>
<p>“I hate going to the gym. My favourite food is fast food, to be honest.”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a smile. “It doesn’t show.”</p>
<p>They continue eating, mostly in silence. When they’ve finished their meals, Rob guides Harry and Louis back to the car safely. Jeremy drives Louis to the hotel and Harry to the airport since he has a photoshoot the next day. After the concert, Louis checks Twitter again. The fans have posted several pictures and the discussion if Harry and Louis might be more than friends or not hasn’t stopped, on the contrary. Louis finds tweets and comments all over the social media platform when he clicks on the trending hashtag #harryandlouis.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“I was on my way to work and guess who got off the car right in front of my salad? Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson! I’m dead.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Wait, doesn’t Harry Styles have a girlfriend? I’m confused.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Harry and Louis = Larry!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Larry Stylinson, ladies and gentleman!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Aren’t they gorgeous? Made for each other, look at them!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“If I was Harry’s girlfriend, I’d be jealous.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Louis’ cheekbones are made by the Gods.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“They had lunch together! Isn’t that cute? Maybe Harry will be at the concert tonight?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What a friendship!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“They might be only friends, guys.”</em>
</p>
<p>Obviously, the PR machine has been oiled.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. PROMISE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After concerts in Birmingham, Liverpool, Glasgow and Sheffield, the band has one day off before the European tour continues. Louis leaves early in the morning to visit his family and in the evening, Louis and his boyfriend are cuddled up on Matt’s bed.</p>
<p>“I’m glad that we’re together again,” Louis tells Matt and gives him a kiss. “I hate video chats or calls. They suck.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Seeing you through a screen also feels weird to me and doesn’t replace being with you physically. I’m glad that we didn’t have to wait weeks to see each other again.”</p>
<p>Louis smiles against Matt’s lips, then kisses him again. “I love how similar we are.” Matt leans back against Louis’ chest and Louis lets his fingers run through his soft hair. He closes his eyes, enjoying Louis’ touch.</p>
<p>“I love when you do that,” Matt says quietly and lets his head fall back.</p>
<p>Louis smiles. He continues his little massage for a while until he stops and wraps his arms around his boyfriend. They stay like this for a while without talking.</p>
<p>“Will Harry stay with you a lot?”</p>
<p>Louis lets go of Matt and sits down, leaning against the wall. “Oh no, do we really have to talk about him now?” Matt’s look makes Louis sigh. “Okay, okay, I will answer your questions, sorry.”</p>
<p>Matt turns onto his back and looks at Louis. “Are you sure? I mean . . . you tensed and I feel like you don’t want to talk about it.” He folds his hands on his stomach.</p>
<p>“I know but I should talk to you, you’re important to me and I don’t want to run away from this. I’d rather avoid that topic but just because it pisses me off so much and I want to enjoy my time with you instead of talking about him but okay, okay.”</p>
<p>“As you want, we can also stop-,”</p>
<p>“No. Ask me anything, it’s okay.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>“Really. So, what was your question again?”</p>
<p>“If he’ll stay with you a lot.”</p>
<p>“No, luckily not. Just sometimes for the stunts.”</p>
<p>“I think it would be better if I didn’t look at any tabloid magazines or social media until this thing ends,” Matt says thoughtfully. “I thought I could handle it much better but when I saw all those posts and the hashtag trending, I’ve already had enough. Imagine.”</p>
<p>“Maybe that’s the best idea. You should simply ignore the shit.”</p>
<p>“I’ll try to.”</p>
<p>Louis suddenly chuckles as he thinks of Leah, Matt’s little sister. “You should send Leah to the moon to not get confronted with it.”</p>
<p>“Probably I should . . . I have no idea why she’s interested in tabloids so much.”</p>
<p>“She’s thirteen, that’s normal. My sisters also read them although I’m constantly telling them that almost everything that’s written there is shit but of course, they won’t listen to me.”</p>
<p>“What if she asks me about Harry and you?”</p>
<p>“Just tell her tabloids are shit and mostly wrong. The last argument will maybe help to prevent her from asking further. In any case don’t explain anything to her since she might tell her friends at school and we can only imagine what will happen after that.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I can imagine. If I tell her the tabloids are shit, she probably won’t want to discuss with me anyways so why am I worrying at all?”</p>
<p>“She’ll be pissed probably,” Louis laughs. “I promise that no matter what you see or hear, everything will be fake. Do you think you can handle this or at least . . . could you try?</p>
<p>“I’ll try to.”</p>
<p>“Promise.”</p>
<p>“I promise.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to worry at all, really not.” There’s a pause.</p>
<p>“Is Harry bi?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Why is that important?” Matt gives Louis a certain look that’s telling but Louis shakes his head. “Even if he was, I wouldn’t care. We’re supposed to bring up a fake relationship, not a real love story, detective.”</p>
<p>“I know, it’s just-,” he says but gets interrupted by Louis.</p>
<p>“There won’t be anything, trust me.”</p>
<p>“But he’s so beautiful and famous while I-,”</p>
<p>Louis puts his hand onto Matt’s mouth. “Please stop talking about him and please, don’t compare yourself to anyone else, especially not to him.”</p>
<p>“But Louis-,”</p>
<p>“No buts, please. Listen to me. You’re the one for me and I don’t care if Harry is beautiful or not and I also don’t care about him being famous. If I wanted a famous boyfriend, I wouldn’t be with you.” Matt sighs and bows his head. Louis puts his index finger under Matt’s chin and raises his head slowly until their eyes meet. “I love you.” Louis lets go of his chin. “I’m being serious.” Matt stays quiet. “What do you think about making pizza for dinner?”</p>
<p>Matt gives Louis a smile. “I’d love that. I’m sorry for bothering you with my problems.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay. If I was in your situation, I’d probably feel the same and I’d want to know stuff too. I can understand that you’re worried but seriously, there’s nothing to worry about as long as we’re together.”</p>
<p>“I believe you. I’ll try my best to not take anything I read about you seriously – well, at least not when they put his name next to yours.”</p>
<p>“Great,” Louis smiles as he gets closer to Matt. “But now shut up and kiss me before I change my mind and accept Harry as my real boyfriend,” he whispers quietly as he looks into Matt’s eyes.</p>
<p>Matt swats Louis arm playfully but chuckles. “Idiot,” he smiles against Louis’ lips before they drown every sorrow in a long, passionate kiss and a nice evening together.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. THE RADIO INTERVIEW</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next day, the band lands in Ireland’s capital city. Since it’s Niall’s home country, the blonde guy is incredibly hyper as if he had eaten too much sugar for several days. Niall doesn’t stop talking at all. He tells everyone about how excited he is, that he can’t wait for his family and friends to attend the show and he tells the crew funny anecdotes from his life before One Direction continuously. Everyone is very patient and supportive with Niall since they know how much the two shows in Ireland mean to him and especially that his family and friends are going to attend the first show.</p>
<p>Right after the arrival, there’s an interview planned at Dublin’s most famous radio station for the band. Many fans are already waiting in front of the huge building so that the band stays outside for a few minutes to give autographs and take pictures with the girls who have been waiting for hours. Because of his excitement, Niall takes on most of the talking and shows his comedic talent during the interview. Everyone including the team at the radio station Louis feels a little nervous since he hopes that the host won’t mention Harry during this interview. Luckily, nothing like that happens. Like every celebrity who has reached a certain level of fame, Louis has learned how to cope with tricky situations like these during media training but still, it feels uncomfortable for him to dodge questions or lie.</p>
<p>“Alright guys,” the host says happily, “before we’re going to play your favourite song of the recent album, we have a surprise for a fan of you. A few days ago, we started a call here on radio and on social media for the fans. Everyone who took part sent us two questions they’ve always wanted to ask you guys and the response was mind-blowing, absolutely unbelievable! First of all, I want to say thank you for taking part in this. It was so hard to choose. We picked one girl by chance out of thousands who had messaged and now we have her on the phone! It’s Marlene from Dublin, she’s nineteen and a huge fan. “Hello Marlene!” the host greets the girl. “Hey Marlene!” Zayn, Liam, Niall and Louis say unison and the girl squeals at the other end. “That’s so cool! Hello boys, hey Jo!”</p>
<p>“Marlene, now you have the possibility to ask One Direction the questions you’ve always wanted to ask!”</p>
<p>“Sorry . . . I . . . oh . . . uhm,” the girl stammers, “I’m a little nervous.”</p>
<p>“Don’t be,” Zayn tries to calm her, “it’s just us.” Everyone laughs, also Marlene.</p>
<p>“Okay, so uhm . . . I’d like to ask . . . what your favourite thing is that you take on tour with you from home.”</p>
<p>“Alright,” the host says, “who wants to answer first? Niall?”</p>
<p>“Yeah alright!” Niall says. “As you know I love Ireland and my hometown Mullingar so much so I always carry a picture of my family and friends with me. We took at my favourite pub in Mullingar and I think it was my 18<sup>th</sup> birthday.”</p>
<p>The host signals Louis that it’s his turn. “Hi Marlene, Louis here. My mum gave me a lucky charm for my first audition for the X-Factor. It’s a soft pillow with the inscription “Good things come to those who wait.”</p>
<p>“Hi, I’m Zayn. When we started our first tour, I got the names of my parents, grandparents and sisters tattooed onto the left side on my torso. They all wrote their names down in their handwriting so basically I’m carrying them with me all the time.”</p>
<p>“Hey, it’s Liam. My grandmother gave me a black leather wristband for my last birthday and that’s the thing I always carry with me. It reminds me of a great day with my family.”</p>
<p>“Are you happy with the answers, Marlene?” the host asks.</p>
<p>Louis can hear Marlene smiling. She seems to be really happy. “Yes, I am.”</p>
<p>“Now you can ask your second question, love, go on!”</p>
<p>“Well . . . I’d like to know if the rumours are true that Louis is in a relationship with Harry Styles.”</p>
<p>When Louis hears the word “rumours”, it feels as if someone is kicking him in the guts. He balls his fist under the table but quickly comes up with a technique he has learned in media training to calm down. Louis can feel that he’s nervous now but he tries to speak as normal as possible. Fuck this. “Oh . . . he’s a good buy and . . . uhm . . . we both love pizza. Do you like pizza too?” If someone asks you an unpleasant question, the best strategy is to distract the other person is to ask another one. Louis hopes it will work out the way it should.</p>
<p>Marlene chuckles quietly. “I do.”</p>
<p>“Which one is your favourite?”</p>
<p>“Mushrooms and corn, I guess?”</p>
<p>“Good choice, love, good choice.”</p>
<p>The host laughs. “Wonderful, pizza is always the right answer, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, it is,” Louis laughs, “always.” He feels calmer now, the strategy was successful.</p>
<p>“Alright, thank you Marlene. Have a nice day! And now we’re going to listen to One Direction’s favourite song of their latest album. Thank you for being here and have a great show tonight in Dublin!”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. A MASSAGE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Around one o’clock, the band and some crew members have lunch at the hotel restaurant.  After that, the boys get some media training and then they have three hours off until the soundcheck starts. As Louis walks up the stairs with his bandmates, he nudges Zayn. “Hey mate, you owe me a massage. What about now?” Louis asks as they’re walking along the long hallway.</p>
<p>“We could do that. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”</p>
<p>“Can’t I come with you now? I have nothing to do anyways.”</p>
<p>“Theoretically yes but I’d like to ask the ladies in the spa if I could use one of their single massage rooms for half an hour so. It would be more comfortable for you and me too.”</p>
<p>“Oh wow, okay. Do you think that might work?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, we’ll see,” Zayn shrugs. “Let me just brush my teeth quickly and then I’ll go and figure that out, alright?”</p>
<p>“Alright.”</p>
<p>Minutes later, Louis gets a call from Zayn. “Are you ready?”</p>
<p>“Yeah so – did you get the room?”</p>
<p>“I did. I’ll tell you everything in a minute. Come down to the spa area where the massage rooms are. I’m at the end of the hallway, there’s a smaller door with a “private” sign. Just come in.”</p>
<p>Louis is surprised when he enters the tiny room. It’s warm and cosy in there.</p>
<p>“Isn’t that one cool?”</p>
<p>“It is! Isn’t that one used or why did they allow you to have it?” Louis walks to the window and looks out. The glass is milky in the lower part but transparent on top so that he can see a part of the backyard.</p>
<p>“It’s like a training room for stuff and I have the One Direction bonus so it wasn’t a problem. We can stay here for one hour technically and after that they’ll clean it professionally. I can even take the massage oil with me since those are small bottles. Cool, hm?”</p>
<p>Louis nods. “Very cool.” As he looks at Zayn, he almost flushes. Zayn looks so good with his three-day beard and his thick, curled hair and Louis is a little bit embarrassed by this thought. He still has a tiny crush on Zayn, a tiny, secret crush.</p>
<p>“I hope it’s not too cold for you. They turned on the heating a few minutes ago and this thing shouldn’t be cold.” Zayn points at the massage bench.</p>
<p>“I’ll be alright.”</p>
<p>“Okay, let’s get started,” Zayn says and turns toward the shelf with different kinds of massage oil. Meanwhile Louis pulls off his shirt and also gets rid of his sweaters before he lays down on the massage bench on his tummy. The white cover feels soft against Louis’ skin and it’s not cold at all. “What kind of oil would you want me to use? You can choose between almond oil, lavender, avocado or evening primrose.”</p>
<p>“Which one is the best to relax?”</p>
<p>“Well . . . if you like the smell, lavender would be it. It’s the one that should relax you the most.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Louis mumbles, his cheek pressed to the soft, white surface as he closes his eyes. Zayn rubs the oil between his hands first, then puts them onto Louis’ back where he starts caressing the skin slowly with the right amount of pressure on both sides. As Zayn is sliding his hands up and down, Louis feels like he might melt under his touch already and it doesn’t take long until he seriously has to battle against himself to not fall asleep during the massage.</p>
<p>They haven’t even left the room when Louis’ phone rings. It’s Sia and Louis wonders if he’s planning on calling him every day now. “Well done, Louis, well done,” Sia says without greeting him. “You two have done a good job so far and you’ll see that soon it’s going to work out for you.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Louis says sarcastically. He rolls his eyes into Zayn’s direction.</p>
<p>“The way you dodged the question during that radio interview was more than professional. You have really learned how to keep the tension curve high without telling too much, that was perfect. The perfect business-plan. Congratulations, Louis. After that success I guess the rest of the jobs will also be successful also.”</p>
<p>“What do you expect me to say now?”</p>
<p>“Nothing. You should just be thankful that Mr. Styles agreed to work with us.”</p>
<p>“With us,” Louis huffs. As if Sia was stunting with Harry. “You know my point of view on this and it hasn’t changed.”</p>
<p>“As you want. Keep up the good work and good luck for the show tonight.”</p>
<p>“Are you planning on calling me every day now or what is this?” Louis grunts.</p>
<p>“No, don’t worry. Bye.”</p>
<p>“What an asshole,” Louis says after Sia has ended the call. He hates the fact that he constantly wants to make him believe that stunting with Harry is a good thing. He stays at the room with Zayn for a while to complain about Sia and Zayn listens to him. He doesn’t say much because Zayn doesn’t talk much in general but that’s okay for Louis who just needed someone who listens.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. CHOCOLATE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In his room, Louis spots a pair of brown leather boots next to the door. Shortly after, he sees Harry sitting on the sofa, reading a book. “How did you get into my room?” Louis asks.</p>
<p>“Oh, Louis. I didn’t see you coming,” Harry says with a soft voice as he looks up from his book. His curls are messy, stuck around his head.</p>
<p>Harry’s relaxed manner drives Louis crazy inside. “This is my room. You could have asked me before entering, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>“Sophie told me it wouldn’t be a problem since I’ll stay here tonight, too. So basically, it’s not only you room. Plus, I needed a bathroom so she gave me the key card. Is that enough of an explanation?”</p>
<p>“Sia and Sophie are the same person, literally, I see.”</p>
<p>“Oh Louis.”</p>
<p>“Oh <em>Harry</em>,” Louis says sarcastically.</p>
<p>“Are you seriously pissed now?”</p>
<p>“I am,” Louis answers. “How would you feel if I were in your private room all of a sudden?”</p>
<p>“You knew I would come here. I don’t understand why you’re so upset about facts.”</p>
<p>“Should I be happy? I don’t think so.”</p>
<p>Harry sighs. “You shouldn’t let this whole thing affect you that much. I’m sorry that it does and I can see that you’re unhappy with it but also, I’m stuck in this with you.”</p>
<p>“The difference is that you don’t mind doing it.”</p>
<p>“That’s not true,” Harry says as he gets up a little bit. He turns toward Louis and folds his hands, propping up his elbows on his knees. “We just haven’t talked about it properly.”</p>
<p>Louis rolls his eyes. “I don’t want to talk about it, at least not with you.”</p>
<p>“Maybe it would help you to deal better with the situation.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you think you’re exceeding your authority a little too much?”</p>
<p>“Why? I’m just trying to help you.”</p>
<p>Louis lets out an ironical laugh. “Sure.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Harry shrugs. “If you don’t want to talk, don’t.”</p>
<p>“You’re such a do-gooder, I can’t believe it.”</p>
<p>Harry blows air through his lips. “You don’t have to be rude to me just because you’re hurt or sad or whatever. Talking is the key in case if you don’t know. I’ll wait until you understand.”</p>
<p>“I wonder who told you that. Your manager?”</p>
<p>Harry smiles a little bit. “Well, I wouldn’t call her that but actually . . . she’s been something like that.”</p>
<p>“She probably isn’t better than Sia or Sophie, is she?”</p>
<p>“Well, I’d say she’s the most important woman in my life.”</p>
<p>Louis rolls his eyes. “What a surprise.”</p>
<p>“My mum told me that in case if you want to know. We talk about everything and to be honest, it’s absolutely the best thing to do when you’re struggling with anything but . . . yeah, I get it. You don’t want to talk.”</p>
<p>“Exactly.”</p>
<p>“Fine,” Harry says as he pushes his curls back. “I would like to see your show tonight.”</p>
<p>“Do what you want but don’t expect me to babysit you.”</p>
<p>Harry chuckles and shakes his head. “We’ve been here before. I can keep myself occupied, don’t worry.”</p>
<p>“Good. I’ll lay down for a while.”</p>
<p>“Oh, really?” Harry says in a playful tone. “Don’t go! I don’t know what to do without you.”</p>
<p>Louis can’t hide as smile at Harry’s comment but the words that come out of his mouth aren’t friendly at all. “Fuck off.”</p>
<p>“Nice word choice,” Harry chuckles and takes his book back from where he has put it. Louis walks into the bedroom where he lays down on his bed. He doesn’t want to be near Harry so this is the best option. He still feels relaxed because of the massage. After a while, he falls asleep. As Louis wakes up, Harry is sitting on the bed next to him. He turns toward Louis and their eyes meet.</p>
<p>“How do you feel now? Better?”</p>
<p>“No, I’m still pissed.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Harry says amused, “your usual mode. I thought sleeping might have calmed you down but obviously it wasn’t enough.” Louis flips him off with a sour expression. “Don’t start that again or would you want to work with me forever?”</p>
<p>“Are you here to torture me? If you don’t stop making fun of me, you won’t watch the show tonight,” Louis warns. “It’s up to you.”</p>
<p>“Oh, come on Louis. Stop being such a pessimist,” Harry says in a lovely tone. “It doesn’t suit your pretty face.”</p>
<p>“Stop calling me pretty,” Louis grunts. “Girls are pretty. Am I a girl?”</p>
<p>Harry shrugs, then gets up from the bed. He kneels down to pull something out of his bag before sits down again. “Here grumpy, take this.” Harry hands Louis a chocolate bar. “That will help your body to release endorphins and make you happy again.”</p>
<p>“What is this?”</p>
<p>“Chocolate. Swiss chocolate, if you want to know exactly – one of the absolute best.”</p>
<p>Louis frowns but takes the chocolate bar from Harry and looks at it. He opens the package immediately and takes a small bite. “Woah, it’s delicious,” he mumbles, turning the package to read what’s written on it.</p>
<p>“You could trust me a little bit more, I’m not here to be your enemy.”</p>
<p>“Maybe you’re annoying but at least you have a good taste in chocolate.”</p>
<p>“A very important trait,” Harry smiles. “I’ll ignore the first part.”</p>
<p>“Hm.” This chocolate is better than any chocolate Louis has ever tried. It’s sweet but not too sweet or sugary, it feels soft on his tongue, yet hard. Louis takes another bite and keeps the piece in his mouth for a while until it starts melting on his tongue and the full-flavoured taste infatuates his senses. “This really is one of the best chocolate bars I’ve ever eaten. Wow.”</p>
<p>“It’s also my favourite. There’s another one with hazelnuts but I wasn’t sure if you liked that or if you were allergic so I chose this one.”</p>
<p>“Well then . . . thank you. You haven’t planned on buying me with that, have you?”</p>
<p>Harry rolls his eyes at Louis. “No, I just wanted to enlighten your mood a little bit. And by the way . . . you’re welcome.”</p>
<p>They sit there in silence for a while. Harry continues reading and Louis is on his phone. “I would really love to watch the show tonight or . . . do you want me to stay here?” Harry asks after a while. Louis had already forgotten about his request.</p>
<p>“Well . . . okay. As long as I don’t have to babysit you it’s okay for me.”</p>
<p>“I promise, you won’t have to do that.” Harry gives Louis a smile and just in that moment Louis notices how deep Harry’s dimples are on both sides of his cheeks.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. LEAVING THE VENUE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the show, Niall goes out with his family and friends who shared the VIP area with Harry. Although everyone hurries to the van after the show, Jeremy is struggling with getting out of the closed area. There are already a lot of fans waiting outside who want to get a glimpse on their idols. The problem is that there’s no other way to get out than to use the street everyone uses. It’s not only the fans who are in the way. In addition, parents are about to pick up their children on the parking lot. It’s a huge mess. “Irish people are nuts,” Jeremy mumbles as he slows down right after passing the gate. “Why is everyone out here already? Shouldn’t they still be inside?” He shakes his head. “The band is still playing!”</p>
<p>“Might be the other half of Niall’s family out here,” Louis jokes and everyone laughs.</p>
<p>“I met Niall’s mum and dad. They’re cool, not affected by his success at all.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Liam adds, “they’re down to earth, just as Niall is.”</p>
<p>“You all are, guys. That’s impressive.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Zayn replies.</p>
<p>“Niall’s little cousin Myra asked me if I was a fairy because of my locks and the stars on my shirt.” Harry smiles at the thought. “When I said no, she frowned and asked her sister who determined that I wasn’t being completely honest. We discussed some minutes about me being an enchanted fairy and the girls came to the conclusion that this was the reason why I didn’t know about it myself. They touched my hair all the time and Gwen, Myra’s sister said my hair reminded her of her cat’s fur which, like Myra confirmed, is soft and smelled like flowers. That was so cute and everyone around us was amused. They all are likeable people.”</p>
<p>“What a story,” Rob smiles, “nobody would ever say such lovely things about my hair.” He lets his hand run over his bald head and everyone in the car laughs again. Still, Jeremy hasn’t come far since people and cars are still blocking the street. Some security guys and police officers are trying to clear the way. After minutes of waiting, one of them gives Jeremy a sign to drive further but still, it’s nearly impossible.</p>
<p>“There are too many people in the streets, it’s impossible to pass,” he says as the car moves achingly slow. The girls are screaming outside, some of them are too close, drumming against the windows and the chassis.</p>
<p>“That’s scary, man,” Harry says and pushes his hair back. “I’ve never been in a situation like this.”</p>
<p>“Don’t move and lean back a little,” Rob tells Louis and the boys. “It will get harder for them to spot you like this and maybe then they’ll let go if we’re lucky enough but maybe that also won’t help.” He sighs. “Thank God the windows are tinted so that it’s already hard to spot you.” Everyone does what Rob has commanded. Suddenly, Jeremy stops the car with an emergency breaking so that everyone moves forward and backward with an unexpected jerk. “Fuck!” Rob shouts and Louis can feel his pulse quicken all of a sudden. The security guards and police officers outside clearly aren’t able to manage that situation on their own. Louis can hear them shouting into their walkie talkies, accompanied by the girl’s screaming and yelling. They seem so stressed but who could stay calm in their situation?</p>
<p>“Could the windows break?” Louis asks, fidgeting with his fingers.</p>
<p>“No, not by the girls hitting them. The problem is that they’re putting us and themselves in danger, that’s insane.” Hectically, Jeremy looks left and right, trying to get an overview over the situation but the more time passes, the more people gather around the car. Also, more and more parents arrive to pick up their children and everything has become a bigger mess than before.</p>
<p>“If I could, I’d turn but it’s impossible,” Jeremy says.</p>
<p>“We need to get more people here to help them,” Rob replies and deals a number. He quickly explains the situation and he’s told that more helpers are on their way. Minutes feel like hours until the car can pass eventually.</p>
<p>“Wow, that was quite exciting and scary at the same time,” Harry says as they’re finally on the main street.</p>
<p>“Most of all, it was stressful. I have been in situations like these but this one has been the worst by far. That’s the reason we leave immediately but this time, we were too slow although we couldn’t have been faster, in my eyes.”</p>
<p>“Or the fans have noticed that already,” Zayn says. “Maybe we need a new strategy.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Liam nods, “they notice almost everything. Seems like they are a federation of detectives.”</p>
<p>“Do you think they might have seen me?” Harry asks after a while.</p>
<p>“Probably,” Liam laughs, “no way they haven’t.”</p>
<p>“The internet will know,” Louis says, rolling his eyes. “Don’t worry. Or maybe my personal reporter from hell will inform me about the relevant parts in a few.”</p>
<p>“Why are you so bitter about it?” Zayn asks. “The fans post things about you all the time and you’ve never complained about it. I don’t understand that, really.”</p>
<p>“Because this is different!” What the hell is wrong with Zayn now? Since when is Zayn against Louis in front of everyone? This fucks Louis up so bad.</p>
<p>“What the hell is different?”</p>
<p>“Guilty,” Harry says and holds his hand up. Then he chuckles and his dimples show again.</p>
<p>“Louis is a hard nut to crack,” Zayn tells Harry. “You have to know that he doesn’t really mean half of the mean things he has probably said to you so far.”</p>
<p>Louis swats Zayn’s arm. “Shut up you idiot!”</p>
<p>Zayn looks at Harry and they both start laughing. “Louis!” They both say unison what makes everyone laugh in the end too, everyone except Louis.</p>
<p>“You all hate me, right?”</p>
<p>“How could we hate you?” Zayn says and pulls Louis close by putting his arm around his neck. “We really love you.”</p>
<p>“That kind of love is strange,” Louis grunts as he wiggles out of Zayn’s embrace. For the rest of the drive he stays silent, looking out of the window. He feels so small. Like the black sheep, again.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. RANDOM CHATS AND TWITTER</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry and Louis return to their hotel room after midnight. After a short, hot shower, Louis walks into the bedroom where Harry is laying on the bed, scrolling through his phone. “They found out,” he says without looking up. “Look.” He holds his phone up for Louis to see.</p>
<p>“Wait,” Louis says as he walks over to his bed, “I’m freezing. Aren’t you?” He slips under the covers and sits down. His mood is still not the best after what happened in the car.</p>
<p>“A little bit. I didn’t want to get under the covers with my dirty clothes.”</p>
<p>“Then why don’t you take a quick shower and then we can have a look at whatever you wanted to show me?”</p>
<p>“That sounds like a plan.” Harry puts his phone down onto the bedside table, then walks out of the room. Only two seconds later, sticking his head through the door. “Louis?”</p>
<p>“Hm?”</p>
<p>“I like when you’re nice,” he says and smiles. He doesn’t wait for Louis to answer. While Harry is under the shower, Louis answers some messages he has gotten while he was on stage. He looks out of the window that offers a nice view over the coastline of Dublin. The view calms Louis and he nearly startles when Harry comes back. “Sorry, I didn’t want to give you a fright,” he apologizes.</p>
<p>“I was just-,” Louis says as he turns around but what he sees is captivating. Harry is standing there, a white towel wrapped around his hips. His torso is naked, showing some of his tattoos. The huge butterfly in the middle of his chest stands out and looks kind of appealing. Harry’s body is toned, not too muscular but also not slender at all. His body looks hot. Louis can’t stop staring at Harry for some reason. He’s never seen such a perfect shaped body, ever in his life – only in pictures, on Instagram and tv shows. Louis gulps. He can’t talk. His mouth is dry, his heartbeat is increasing and he can feel how he’s flushing.</p>
<p>“You were what?” Harry asks as he bends down to take a shirt out of his suitcase. He shakes it out quickly, then pulls it over his head.</p>
<p>Louis blinks. He just wants to get rid of his thoughts. “I . . . I was just looking at the sea,” he says quickly. Thank god it’s dark in the room. Only the dimmed light of Harry’s bedside table illuminates his side of the room a little bit. Maybe Harry hasn’t noticed Louis’ staring.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s beautiful. The view from this room is unique.” Harry ruffles through his hair, then puts the towel away. Louis is relieved when he sees that Harry isn’t naked underneath. He’s wearing tight black briefs but the look at his thighs is equally appealing as his upper body is. What the fuck.</p>
<p>“Should we have a look at Twitter?” Harry asks as he gets settled in his bed.</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>Harry puts two pillows behind his back and scoots a little bit closer to Louis. Harry smells good, manly but still delicate. It’s one of those scents that make a difference and again, Louis feels as if he’s out of his mind. He’s tired, that’s why. Harry has already opened Twitter.</p>
<p>Louis points at the screen. “Oh my god, look at the hashtag . . . it’s trending!”</p>
<p>Harry scrolls down. “And look at those comments. I really had no idea what I was signing to.”</p>
<p>“You? It seems like you knew exactly what you did.”</p>
<p>“No, I . . . uhm . . . all I knew was we’d do some jobs together but I wasn’t aware of the hype this would cause.”</p>
<p>“You always play the innocent guy . . . why?”</p>
<p>“I don’t play innocent. I don’t play anything. Really, I wasn’t aware of this . . . look!” Harry scrolls down further. “How could I know that people would invent this hashtag and that it would trend so fast! It’s trending worldwide . . . crazy.” Harry continues scrolling.</p>
<p>“What is this?” Louis says as he points at the screen. Someone has posted a dark picture where you can only spot persons if you take a closer look.</p>
<p>“This is me! Look! They even discovered me in the VIP area where it was dark most of the time! How?”</p>
<p>Louis turns the phone towards himself. “What the fuck. Is that you?”</p>
<p>“Let me see . . . yes! That’s me! How did they spot me? They really <em>are</em> detectives.” Harry shakes his head. “Unbelievable. And look . . . they are discussing about us and they know I was at the concert.”</p>
<p>“Hm . . . here are also pictures of you at the airport. Wow. Fuck.” Louis quickly puts his hands over his mouth. He didn’t want to say that, absolutely not.</p>
<p>“Don’t you like my look?” Harry asks. “I changed into something more comfortable after the paparazzi had taken their pictures at the airport.”</p>
<p>“Well . . . it’s okay,” Louis lies. He actually adores Harry’s look in the picture but he could not admit. His outfit is black and white, the shirt underneath silky, almost sheer so that his tattoos shine through slightly and the long coat just look cool on him. “Sia will be pleased,” Louis says ironically and turns onto his back, crossing his arms behind his head.</p>
<p>“Well, it’s the job and obviously that’s what he wants.”</p>
<p>Louis turns his head and gives Harry a serious look.</p>
<p>“What? It’s true!” Harry says and chuckles. He puts his phone down. “Why are you looking at me like that?”</p>
<p>“I sometimes think that you’re one of Sia’s assistants since you seem okay with everything he does.”</p>
<p>Harry puts his phone onto the bedside table. “Not again, Louis, please.”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay.” Louis sighs and turns around. “Do you think this will help?”</p>
<p>“What exactly?”</p>
<p>“The whole you-stay-together-in-a-room thing.”</p>
<p>Harry chuckles. “Not if you turn your back on me, mumbling the words into your pillow so that I can’t understand anything.”</p>
<p>“Go fuck yourself,” Louis says clearly, followed by a chuckle.</p>
<p>“Aren’t you lovely? Sleep well, Louis.”</p>
<p>“You too, Harold.”</p>
<p>“That’s not my name.”</p>
<p>“You too, Mr. Perfect.”</p>
<p>“Oh dear,” Harry sighs but smiles. Soon, both of them fall asleep.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Suddenly, Louis feels someone touching his shoulder. “Hey,” a soft, raspy voice says, “wake up.” It’s Harry.</p>
<p>Louis feels dizzy, he’s still half asleep and it takes some time until he’s able to process the situation. “What?” he says sleepily, rubbing his eyes.</p>
<p>“Sophie wants to meet us in fifteen minutes.”</p>
<p>“What? Why? What time is it?”</p>
<p>“Almost eleven in the morning.”</p>
<p>“Shit.”</p>
<p>“Are we going to meet here?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“At least I won’t have to look good.”</p>
<p>“I think you always look good, don’t worry,” Harry says he walks toward the door.</p>
<p>Louis throws a pillow after Harry. “Oh, would you stop sucking up again, Mr. Perfect?”</p>
<p>Harry catches the pillow and gives Louis a mischievous smile. He puts it back on the bed and walks out of the room without saying anything. Louis chuckles. That was a little bit funny.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. SOPHIE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Alright, so I would like to talk with you about the following jobs,” Sophie says, pointing at the list. Louis hates when Sophie and Harry call the shit “jobs” instead of “stunts” to make them appear more legal or innocent or whatever they want to achieve with their word choice. “Mr. Sia talked to me on the phone and we made some changes because Harry has some important jobs to do and when they line up with the stunts it makes everything easier.” Louis decides to stay quiet this time and just let her talk. His hope is that she’ll leave earlier then. “We’ll talk about some jobs now and in case if something should change, you’ll get a call. So far, everything is going well and also Mr. Sia is perfectly satisfied with the jobs you’ve done so far. I’ve copied the new list for you, all the changes have been included.” Sophie hands Harry and Louis copies and takes a sip of her water. “The first change will be that Mr. Sia wants you to spend more time together. Basically, this is going to take place while Louis is touring.” She turns toward Harry. “These jobs aren’t the ones where you have to be seen in public necessarily. If someone spots you, it will be good and if they spread the word and photos online, it will be counted as a plus. The other jobs are the ones where you are intending to be seen. Mr. Sia’s explicit instruction is to dodge questions about your supposed to be relationship and to keep your answers to questions concerning this superficially. Never go into details. We won’t give the fans or the media the exact information since they should keep talking about you, speculating. Part of the media is already informed. Do you have other questions so far?”</p>
<p>“No, it’s fine,” Harry says.</p>
<p>Louis crosses his arms on the table. “I would like to complain but I won’t.”</p>
<p>“Even if you did, I couldn’t help you. I’m just doing my job here.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Louis sighs.</p>
<p>Sophie rubs Louis arm. “You can make it, Louis. It won’t last forever.”</p>
<p>Louis gives her a tortured smile. “At least.”</p>
<p>“Good, so now let’s have a look at the list. The UK tour has already started and the European part is going to follow. After that, you’re going to fly to the USA where the tour continues for about two more months. That’s when the job is supposed to end before One Direction continues touring through Mexico and South America. Harry won’t be there for every show, of course. I’ve marked all the dates when he is going to work with you what means staying with you and/or working with you. The next job is going to take place in Paris. You’re going to accompany Harry to a fashion show before your two Parisian concerts.”</p>
<p>“Do you expect me to walk down the runway with him?” Louis grunts. Although he had planned to stay quiet, he can’t. Sophie is teasing him too much.</p>
<p>She lets out a short laugh. “No, Louis, don’t worry.” She pauses and looks at him. “Although I bet you would look absolutely stunning on a runway.” She clearly didn’t get the irony of Louis’ statement.</p>
<p>“Of course, Sophie. Stop being sarcastic.”</p>
<p>“No, I’m absolutely serious.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know if I should laugh or cry.” He rolls his eyes. “Could we go on?”</p>
<p>“Just ignore what I’ve said, it’s okay,” she smiles. “Your job is easy. Harry won’t participate in the show. He’s just going to walk the red carpet without you and inside, you two are going to just sit in the front row and watch the show. The press is ordered to be inside too. Be aware of the fact that people will probably notice you. Be friendly, talk to each other, look happy and interested. You’ll look gorgeous together.” Sophie smiles. “I’ve seen your outfits, they’re exquisite,” she almost whispers as if it was a secret.</p>
<p>“Why do I have the impression that everyone is incredibly happy with this lie, everyone but me?”</p>
<p>Harry pats Louis back gently. “Because you’re stubborn, that’s why.”</p>
<p>Louis presses his lips together but stays quiet. Sophie continues explaining. “You don’t have to worry about anything. You’re going to be remembered in case if you forget about a job, Jamila is going to take care of your clothes for official jobs, Ben and Rob are informed as well as everyone who works with you, the inner circle, of course. You just have to be ready to be picked up and work.”</p>
<p>“I’m not a fucking actor!”</p>
<p>“You’ve been good enough so far, don’t worry. After the show, you’re going to return to the hotel. Then, you’ll have one day off if everything goes well and it’s up to you if you spend this day together or alone. The next day, Harry is going to attend your concert in the VIP area as usual.”</p>
<p>“Isn’t there any lunch or dinner planned?” Harry asks.</p>
<p>Sophie shakes her head no. “Mr. Sia thought that would be too much at this point and maybe the story would be over too quickly, especially because it’s Paris and everyone would expect you to go out or something.”</p>
<p>“He’s quite the date doctor, isn’t he?” Louis’ sarcasm lets show again and Harry giggles, holding his fist in front of his mouth.</p>
<p>“He has a degree in business, Louis. He knows what he’s doing,” Sophie responds seriously. “In conclusion, Harry is going to stay with you for two nights in Paris. That’s how we can combine the shows and you will have some more time to get to know each other a little better for the most important jobs that are going to follow in December.”</p>
<p>“How romantic,” Louis says quietly what makes Harry chuckle again.</p>
<p>“As you can see on the list, you’re going to meet in Berlin again for a shopping trip and clubbing after the show. If you want, Harry, you can attend the concert there too”.</p>
<p>“Oh cool!”</p>
<p>“Oh no,” Louis moans at the same time what makes Sophie laugh.</p>
<p>“Will someone accompany us to the club?” Louis asks.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’ve already asked your band and some crew members. Maybe I’ll be there too, I’ve never been in Berlin and I’d like to check out the German nightlife. The most important thing is that you’re seen together. Harry has got some jobs to do in Berlin after that so this is going to fit perfectly into his schedule.”</p>
<p>“That’s cool,” Harry nods. “I’ve never been clubbing in Germany, either.” Louis rolls his eyes at Harry’s unnecessary comment.</p>
<p>“At the end of November, you’re going to be in Barcelona and have dinner a day before your concert. You’re going to leave the hotel through the main entrance what means a lot of paparazzi and probably fans will be there. When you’re walking out of a hotel or a restaurant you shouldn’t stop. Harry won’t stay the night since he has to fly to London for a job.”</p>
<p>“What a pity,” Louis says mockingly, wiping a fake tear away.</p>
<p>Harry leans towards Louis. “I could cancel the job to spend the night with you, love.” He winks at him and Louis swats his arm but can’t hide a small smile.</p>
<p>Louis scoots away from Harry, holding his hands up in a dismissingly manner. “Please stay away whenever you can.”</p>
<p>Harry rolls his eyes playfully at Louis. “Sorry Sophie, please continue.”</p>
<p>Louis kicks his shin under the table. “Stop being a suck-up, Harold.”</p>
<p>“Harold?” Sophie asks.</p>
<p>Louis grins. “Yeah, Harold. His name.”</p>
<p>“My name isn’t Harold, you sassy little shit.”</p>
<p>“I’m sassy and you’re a suck-up – aren’t we a perfect match?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, a perfect match,” Harry repeats annoyed.</p>
<p>“Guys,” Sophie interrupts vehemently, “please concentrate.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah,” Louis grunts. “Go on.”</p>
<p>“There won’t be more jobs during the European tour. If you want, you can interact on Twitter a little bit but that’s not necessary. It’s more important to mind the jobs that are printed in bold letters. December and January are going to be your most important months because then your relationship should be more . . . well, I’d say . . .visible.”</p>
<p>Louis holds up his hand. “Wait. Are you telling me that I have to stunt with him although I’ve already planned my winter holidays with my friends?”</p>
<p>“Only for a few days. You can spend the rest where and with whom you want. It will be a holiday though.”</p>
<p>Louis stares at the list. “Oh wonderful, a planned holiday with Harold. Could it get any worse?” He shakes his head and looks at the table top. “Oh yes, wait! It will get worse because I have to spend New Year’s Eve with him too although I had planned to stay at home with my family and friends! This is absolute bullshit.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, Louis.”</p>
<p>“Oh please, stop saying that all the time. You’re just doing your job here, right?”</p>
<p>Sophie flushes and bites her lip. “Yeah, I mean-,”</p>
<p>“What, Sophie?” Louis gets up from his chair, his eyes glaring at her. Louis can’t contain himself anymore and he raises his voice. “What if I told you that you had to spend your holidays with someone you don’t even know and also what if I told you that you had to be away from the people you love for New Year’s Eve, would you be happy about that? How do you think should I react now? Be happy? Hug you and thank you for ruining the best time of the year for me? Sorry but I can’t listen to this bullshit anymore. Tell Harold about it and leave me be for God’s sake! I can’t stand that anymore, I’m out! Tell Mr. Perfect here about all the details and I’m sure he’ll manage everything better than you or Sia could ever imagine! Fuck this, seriously, fuck everything!” Louis walks away angrily but stops. He turns around, holding his finger up. “Don’t you dare following me, I swear I will truly forget myself when anybody of you decide to convince me that I should be part of this conversation again.”</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. FUMING ANGRY</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>And with these words he walks out of the hotel room, slamming the door behind him forcefully. Louis is fuming, he’s absolutely exasperated and ready to fight everyone who crosses his way. The only person he wants to see now is his friend Zayn or maybe the other guys but no, he wants to talk to him. Louis rushes over to his room and knocks onto the door loudly. From inside Louis can hear footsteps coming closer. When Zayn opens the door, Louis practically storms in, not waiting for being invited. “I can’t believe this is happening Zayn, I’m so pissed, I really have to contain myself, I fucking hate this shitty concept!” Louis yells.</p>
<p>Zayn closes the door and comes closer. “What happened?” His voice is calm.</p>
<p>“This fucking stunt! Zayn, you won’t believe what Sophie told me a few seconds ago. I can’t believe someone would come up with such a fucked-up idea!”  Louis inhales and exhales audibly. Tears of anger are welling in his eyes. “I can’t tell you how I despise this stupid idea, Sia, this whole fucking business!” Louis lets himself fall onto one of the sofas and hides his face behind the palms of his hands. Tears are running down his cheeks although he didn’t want to cry and god knows he seldom cries but this is too much for him. He’s not sad, he’s pissed – so pissed that he could literally destroy everything around him. “I hate this business,” he repeats, his voice thick with tears. “I would have never thought it could be like this, this is cruel.”</p>
<p>Zayn sits down next to him, rubbing his back. “Calm down, Lou.”</p>
<p>“I can’t, Zayn, I fucking can’t!” Louis sobs. “Look how desperate I am, I’m crying! Have you ever seen me cry?”</p>
<p>“Just once but that was when you were cutting an onion, I think.” Zayn gives Louis a small smile.</p>
<p>“See?” Louis says and takes a deep breath. “Oh fuck.” He wipes his eyes.</p>
<p>Zayn lets his hand wander to Louis’ shoulder, kneads it for a few seconds, then gets up. “Stay here, I’ll be back.” He walks over to his bedroom and comes back with two joints. “Here Lou, I think you might need this now.”</p>
<p>Louis nods and wipes his eyes again with his hand. “Thanks.”</p>
<p>“Let’s go outside.”</p>
<p>“Can I borrow a hoodie?”</p>
<p>Zayn points at his bedroom. “I’ve got one in there, on the bed.”</p>
<p>They smoke in silence on the balcony for a while until Louis starts talking again. “This whole stunt thing is getting out of hand. Zayn, you . . . you won’t believe what Sophie has just told me, I . . . I fucking lost my temper, I could have hit her with something, seriously.”</p>
<p>Zayn takes a drag and lets the smoke out of his mouth slowly. “Tell me,” he says. His voice is warm like honey. Louis loves his voice, also when he sings.</p>
<p>“You know the shit about being seen and stuff, the normal things.” Zayn nods. “I hate those but what I’m going to tell you now is just . . . bullshit at its finest. Sia wants me to actually spend New Year’s Eve in New York with him!”</p>
<p>Zayn puts his joint down and turns towards Louis, looking at him with wide eyes. “No fucking way!”</p>
<p>“Yeah . . . but that’s not everything. We have some days off in January, right?”</p>
<p>“Sure.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you do, Liam does Niall too but I don’t. Well, I have but I’m going to spend some of them with him, again.” Louis takes a deep drag and exhales.</p>
<p>“You’re kidding.”</p>
<p>“I swear I’m being serous. I lost it when she told me that, I totally lost it.”</p>
<p>“Fuck.”</p>
<p>“My words. This is fucked up, it’s all fucked up.”</p>
<p>“What does Harry say about that?”</p>
<p>“Mr. Suck-up? Mr. Perfect? Mr. I don’t mind doing this?  Nothing, of course.” Louis rolls his eyes. “He’s annoying as fuck and he doesn’t seem to mind. He even supports Sophie in everything she says.”</p>
<p>“Louis!”</p>
<p>“No, he <em>is</em> annoying! It seems like he doesn’t care about all these stunts and he’s always telling me to accept the facts.”</p>
<p>“Love, I’m afraid that he might be right.”</p>
<p>“Are you crazy? Are you really defending him now?”</p>
<p>“I’m not defending him – but Lou, he’s just doing his job. And he’s right, you have to accept the facts, contract and all.”</p>
<p>“But Zayn, this is ruining my tour, my New Year’s Eve, my holidays, the time I wanted to spend with my family and my boyfriend!”</p>
<p>“But it’s not his fault! Harry is a cool guy, he’s friendly and a good person.”</p>
<p>“You sound like <em>them</em>,” Louis shouts. “Why do I have the feeling that I’m tilting at windmills on my own?” Louis feels alone and it hurts. Not even Zayn understands.</p>
<p>“You’re my friend and you know that. Do you want me to be honest with you?” Louis doesn’t respond. “It’s not easy for me.”</p>
<p>“Do you expect me to be extra happy now? I’m fucking angry and also . . . sad.”</p>
<p>“I know, Lou. But it was you who brought you here. You flipped him off.”</p>
<p>“Oh, thank you for your understanding.”</p>
<p>“Love, don’t be mad at me, please. I’d really want to know why you did it. Everything was alright, wasn’t it? Tell me why.”</p>
<p>Louis looks at Zayn without talking. His eyelashes are so thick and long and his eyes are so dark that he could get lost in them. “He’s annoying, that’s why.” Louis doesn’t want to admit his little crush what was the reason and the fact that he was jealous.</p>
<p>“He’s not annoying.”</p>
<p>“So? You don’t have to stunt with him or sleep in a bed with him!”</p>
<p>“You have to sleep in a bed with him?” Zayn chuckles silently. “To be honest . . . if I liked men, I’d probably do some very dirty things to him,” he says playfully and sighs. “He’s extremely attractive, just look at him and forget about your ego for once.”</p>
<p>“Oh wonderful, you’re the next who’s stabbing me in the back,” Louis says sarcastically. “Aren’t Sia, Sophie and Harold enough? What do you want me to do now, fuck him?”</p>
<p>“Louis, calm down.” Zayn takes a drag. “I wonder how can you sleep in a bed with him without even thinking of kissing him? Have you seen those lips? They’re curved by the gods.”</p>
<p>Louis laughs out sarcastically. “You’re just saying this because you’ve smoked.”</p>
<p>“Maybe,” Zayn smiles. “But maybe I mean it.”</p>
<p>“Idiot.”</p>
<p>“Let’s go inside before anyone spots us.”</p>
<p>Louis gets off his chair. “I’m fed up with all the restrictions. Sia told me not to smoke in public but he can fuck off.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, the restrictions suck.” Zayn closes the balcony door. “Do you feel a little better now?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, really. I came here for comfort and support and all you did was telling me how wrong I was and that I should fuck him.”</p>
<p>“That’s your interpretation, I never said that.”</p>
<p>“It’s exactly what you meant.”</p>
<p>Zayn shrugs but then he gives Louis a smile and he wraps one arm around his shoulders. “Don’t be mad, love. I know the situation isn’t pleasant for you, I’m aware of that. What do you think of accompanying me to the gym for half an hour or so? We could exercise together and that might help you to let off steam.”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head. “Not really, I’d like to take a nap.”</p>
<p>“Oh, okay.”</p>
<p>“When are we going to leave?”</p>
<p>“Around two or three.”</p>
<p>“Oh okay. What do you think . . . could I stay here? I don’t want to see Harold or Sophie now.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you know where the bedroom is. Why do you call him Harold all the time?”</p>
<p>“To annoy him.”</p>
<p>“You’re terrible,” Zayn smiles so that Louis can spot his tongue between his white teeth. It looks cute like that.</p>
<p>“Maybe so. I’ll be in there, wake me up when you come back.”</p>
<p>“I will. Sleep well.”</p>
<p>“Thanks.”</p>
<p>When Louis returns to his room, Harry has already left and Sophie is nowhere to be seen.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. THE FASHION SHOW</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>About two weeks later, Louis and Harry travel to Paris and meet at their hotel room that offers a magnificent view over the city, including the Eiffel Tower. Half an hour after their arrival, Jamila brings the boys their outfits and they get ready for the Gucci fashion show. After Louis is dressed, he sits down on the sofa and scrolls through his phone until Harry is ready too.</p>
<p>“Thank you very much, ladies,” Harry says with a wink after Jamila has dressed him and Joyce has finished his light make-up. “What would I be without you,” he says as he is looking at himself in the mirror, “you did a wonderful job.” He smiles widely and winks at the women what makes them giggle like school girls.</p>
<p>“If only all celebrities were as lovely as you, Harry,” Jamila says with a big smile on her face.</p>
<p>Joyce nods. “I agree. You are a gem. Stay as you are.”</p>
<p>“You make me flush. You two are too sweet, thank you. It costs nothing to be nice, that’s what my mum has taught me and I think it’s a great view on how we should interact.”</p>
<p>“It is,” Joyce and Jamila say unison. “Have a great show, you two! Rob is going to get you in a few so be ready to leave!”</p>
<p>“Bye,” Louis says from his sofa. Harry accompanies both women to the door and kisses them in a friendly way.</p>
<p>After Joyce and Jamila have left, Louis turns towards Harry. “Can’t you just behave normally, like every other person? You’re such a suck-up, aren’t you? In every damn situation! Not everyone needs your fake kindness, Mr. Perfect.”</p>
<p>“Why are you always picking on me, Louis? I’m not playing a game here! Why should I? Getting along with people is the key and they did a great job! Look at you, you look like a supermodel yourself! You could easily walk on the runway with that outfit and that hair so don’t you think being thankful towards Jamila and Joyce would be a good thing? They’re doing an excellent job! I’ve been treated worse in the fashion industry! People pull your hair all the time, they don’t care about if they hurt you by getting you into a tight or metal outfit that hurts your skin! Those two are so careful and talented! I mean, look at you! You would be more relaxed if you just accepted the circumstances without overthinking every little move. I know I’m repeating myself here but it’s just a job, nothing else and being pissed all the time won’t help anyone in this case. We’ve been here before. Your sass is slowly getting on my nerves and it’s not cute at all.”</p>
<p>“Oh wow, how smart and educated you sound. It’s a burden, not a job,” Louis fires back unfriendly.</p>
<p>“Louis,” Harry sighs. He walks over and sits down next to him. “Why are you still so bitter?”</p>
<p>“Because this is all fake and I have to be someone I’m not and I have to spend time with someone I don’t even know and I’m lying to people and most of all, I’m hurting the people I love.”</p>
<p>“But Louis . . . we could get to know each other better if you talked to me and if you didn’t see all of this as something that would be bad for you.” Harry pushes his hair back and sighs. “But you don’t want to and I think that’s kind of sad. Not getting to know strangers is a huge mistake because everyone has a story to tell and sometimes the stories are more interesting than you would have imagined, no matter how it seems in the beginning.”</p>
<p>“Maybe I don’t want to open up to you. Just because we have to “work” together it doesn’t mean we have to pretend in private.”</p>
<p>“Okay then. Do you think you could at least talk to me a little bit at the fashion show so that we don’t look like an old couple that’s having issues?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, I’ll do my very best for you, my darling,” Louis says mockingly and rolls his eyes. “You won’t have to worry about your reputation at all.”</p>
<p>Harry can’t hide a small chuckle. “I don’t know why but sometimes, you’re very funny although I’m absolutely convinced it’s not your intention. . . at least not when it comes to me.”</p>
<p>“Oh, fuck off,” Louis replies and luckily that’s the moment when Rob comes to tell Harry and Louis that it is time for them to leave.</p>
<p>“The paparazzi are already at their positions but also, there are many fans waiting in front of the hotel. Honestly, I have no idea how they found out that you’re staying at this place,” Rob says. “They totally went nuts when they saw the car. I’ve asked Ben to help me keeping them away from you since it will probably be insane when they spot you.”</p>
<p>“Someone must have told them that we’re here,” Louis says, “or they just tried and found out.”</p>
<p>“I’ve heard that some managements tell the fans where the bands stay,” Ben tells Louis, “but I’m not sure about Mr. Sia in your case.”</p>
<p>Louis shrugs. “Who knows. He might have let someone inform people about it since he won’t skip anything not to support his new project.”</p>
<p>They walk along the hallway quickly and take the elevator down to the lobby. When Harry sees the masses outside, he stops for a second and covers his mouth with the right hand. “Oh my god, there are at least about one hundred people outside! I thought you were talking about twenty or thirty but this is insane.”</p>
<p>“That’s why Rob called me,” Ben explains. “We’ll be quick. You know the game, just walk to the car and that’s it. Walk in front of me, Rob is going to be the first.”</p>
<p>When the automatic doors open, the noise level reaches a new high. The paparazzi yell their commandos at Harry and Louis, the fans scream their names and try to touch them as they walk towards the parked car. Rob opens the door for them quickly, Ben gets into the car as well after Harry, Louis and Rob. Jeremy has already started the car so they can drive away quickly to not put anyone in danger.</p>
<p>“I thought this job wouldn’t be risky but this is a whole new experience for me,” Jeremy says. “Before I got this job, I wouldn’t have thought teenage girls could be dangerous.”</p>
<p>“I used to work at car parks and airports before I got my bodyguard training but with One Direction, it’s just a different kind of challenge. Ben, I and the others have been training for almost two years until they let us work with superstars.”</p>
<p>“Don’t call us superstars, it’s weird,” Louis says.</p>
<p>“You are superstars,” Rob laughs, “none of you is innocent!”</p>
<p>“Are you excited to go to the fashion show?” Jeremy asks as he stops the car at a crossing.</p>
<p>“I’m not very interested in fashion and I also don’t get the reason behind the shows.”</p>
<p>“I bet it will be cool there. I’ll pick you two up around ten when the show finishes or are you planning to stay for the after-show party?”</p>
<p>“I personally wouldn’t want to stay because I’m already tired from working non-stop during the last weeks. It was pretty hectic,” Harry tells Jeremy.</p>
<p>“What can be hectic about standing in front of cameras in weird clothes?”</p>
<p>“Oh Louis!” Harry swats Louis arm. “It’s not that, stop talking shit. The week before was more or less okay but then it got extremely exhausting because of the amount of travelling. I flew from London to Paris, from Paris to Berlin on the same day, from Berlin to Cape Town, from Cape Town to Milano, from Milano to LA and back to London, everything within a week. I had one day off but spent half of the day packing for the next job, it was a mess. My mum had birthday but this year I couldn’t go since I had a photo shooting in Italy that took all day and lasted until two in the morning.”</p>
<p>“Sounds pretty stressful,” Rob says.</p>
<p>Harry nods. “Yeah. At least I’ll have one day off tomorrow, that’s nice and the fashion show tonight won’t be stressful at least.”</p>
<p>“Do you have any plans for your day off?”</p>
<p>“I’ll be spontaneous. Sleeping would be a good start, don’t you think?” Harry smiles at Rob, then looks out of the window.</p>
<p>“Sounds great.”</p>
<p>For the rest of the drive, Harry and Louis stay quiet. Jeremy leaves Louis at the backstage door with Ben who goes inside with him while Jeremy drives Rob and Harry to the red carpet where Harry poses for the photographers and gives some short interviews. He dodges every question about Louis perfectly. He has learned several techniques in media training that really helped him to keep things private and/or not to reveal too much information. Inside the huge venue, Harry and Louis meet again. On their way to the seats, people address Harry who obviously knows how to do small talk. It seems so easy for Harry to communicate. He introduces Louis as a friend to everyone and Louis just plays along. To his surprise, it’s not hard to talk to those people and pretend being Harry’s friend but secretly, he wishes he could be somewhere else.</p>
<p>Fifteen minutes before the show starts, Harry and Louis sit down on their seats in the front row. It only takes some minutes until the photographers notice Harry and Louis. They come closer quickly and start taking pictures. More and more photographers gather in front of both young men. “I thought we would just attend the show,” Louis whispers into Harry’s ear, bending over a little bit, “but it seems we’re booked for a shooting.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t pay attention to what Sophie said but anyway, they seem to like you,” Harry whispers.</p>
<p>“They like you more than me, I think.”</p>
<p>“We’ll see in the press.”</p>
<p>Within a few minutes the photographers are gone again as fast as they came by. The last guests take their seats before the room goes dark and some deep bass vibrates according to the pink lights that are flashing through the room. Louis can feel how excited Harry is when the show is opened by the first model. “She’s a good friend, look at her walk! Amazing. Another friend of mine is going to walk the runway too, they’re both very talented.” How cliché, Louis thinks. Of course, Harry has only friends who are in the business. Harry continues commenting on the girl’s outfit while Louis just nods along and watches her wearing the most obnoxious outfit he has ever seen. All models look like dolls from outer space with their colourful, glittery make-up, the absolutely towered and matted hair and those incredibly high heels that look like no average person could ever walk in. Who would buy those things? The fashion show bores Louis most of the time but he tries to make a happy face because he has to in case if someone is taking a picture. The only good thing about the show is Harry who kind of keeps Louis more or less entertained, telling him about the designer and the different fabrics, how the outfits are planned and shows are organized in general. Louis doesn’t understand half of what Harry explains due to a lack of specialist terms but it’s better listening to him than just sitting there in silence.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. HEADLINES AND WORRIES</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the show, Jeremy drives Louis and Harry directly back to the hotel. After they have changed their clothes, Harry makes some tea and Louis flops down on one of the comfy armchairs. He opens google and within seconds he finds several articles that have already been written about them. Louis doesn’t click on the links. He just reads out the headlines.</p>
<p> <em>“The model and the singer – from hate to friendship in a few weeks only?”</em></p>
<p>
  <em>“Do you have a crush, Mr Tomlinson?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Is this your Style(s), Louis?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“One Direction star Louis Tomlinson seen with supermodel Harry Styles – are they friends or are they more?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“The Singer and the beauty.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Music meets fashion: Stylinson.”</em>
</p>
<p>These are only some of the headlines Louis can find and there are more comments and posts on Twitter from fans. To Louis’ surprise, the photos of Harry and him look quite good. There’s also one that suggests they were close because the photographers also took pictures when Harry and Louis were talking to each other. The photographers really caught the right moments on camera and whoever published those pictures chose the right ones, the ones that left little to interpretation. While looking at the pictures, Louis suddenly understands why it’s not a surprise that the fans buy the story of them being friends or more. He probably would have thought the same if he hadn’t been caught in this. Just as Louis continues scrolling through the search results, Matt’s number appears on the screen.</p>
<p>“Hey love,” Louis says happily. He walks to the bathroom where he locks himself up.</p>
<p>“Hey Lou. Is it okay that I’m calling that late?” There’s a pause. “I saw the photos and . . . I missed you.”</p>
<p>“Of course, it is. You can call me whenever you want to. Do you like how I look?” Louis wants to focus on something positive, not on Harry.</p>
<p>“You look amazing, you really do. I think I’ve never seen you in such a beautiful suit, your hair looks amazing in the pictures, perfect.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome but . . . Louis, can I be honest with you?”</p>
<p>His voice is quiet and Louis can hear how uncomfortable Matt feels. “Always.”</p>
<p>Matt sighs. “Okay. I don’t know how to tell you this but I’m a bit worried.”</p>
<p>“Oh . . . why?”</p>
<p>“I know you will tell me not to pay much attention to it but somehow, I’ve been thinking about the situation again and it bothers me more than it probably should. . . it’s just . . . you know when I saw you and Harry in those pictures tonight-,” Matt pauses and inhales audibly. “Harry and you, you look like . . . you look so <em>close</em>.”</p>
<p>It’s true what Matt says since Louis noticed how the pictures were taken and which ones were picked to be shown. He can’t be mad at Matt for worrying, still. “We’re not close. Not even a little bit but I can understand that you’re worried. When I saw the pictures, I was also a little shocked and I thought about the effect they might have on people.”</p>
<p>“They look so real.”</p>
<p>“I know. I know, but please trust me . . . they’re not real. They might look real but they’re not, the emotions aren’t.”</p>
<p>“I’m afraid you might forget about me while working with him.”</p>
<p>“No way I could forget about you. With him it’s just . . . we go somewhere, do what we are supposed to do and that’s it.” Louis can hear Matt sigh. “Hey . . . it’s just a stunt for me, nothing more and you can be sure I don’t like it.”</p>
<p>“It’s hard for me, you know. You’re always away, meeting interesting people and I’m here in my room, studying analysis and English literature.” Matt pauses. “I’m so boring.”</p>
<p>“You’re not boring, not at all. Please stop thinking about you in such a negative way.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“Yes Matt, I mean it.”</p>
<p>Matt sighs. “I trust you, Lou. I don’t have another choice.”</p>
<p>“You can trust me, 100%. All I want is you to be okay at home and not be sad or worried about this. I’ll visit you as soon as I can and until then you should know that you can always call or message me, if that helps?”</p>
<p>“It helps a little bit. I’m sorry for bothering you.”</p>
<p>“You’re not. Please don’t feel like you can’t tell me what you really think. I want you to be honest with me, okay?”</p>
<p>“Thank you so much.”</p>
<p>“Do you feel a little bit better now?”</p>
<p>“Yes, a little bit. Thank you for taking your time but I need to go to bed now. I have to get up early tomorrow and I’m very tired.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I understand. Sleep well, Matt.”</p>
<p>“Night Lou.”</p>
<p>After Matt has ended the call, Louis closes his eyes for a second. “I hate this shit,” he whispers as he deals Riley’s number. He needs another opinion. It takes some time until she answers the call. “Ri?”</p>
<p>“Lou?” Her voice sounds sleepy.</p>
<p>“Oh, sorry love, were you asleep?” he asks softly.</p>
<p>“Almost. Why are you calling?”</p>
<p>“Have you seen the pictures of Harry and-,”</p>
<p>“Oh my God yes, you two look so fucking hot!”</p>
<p>“I just wanted to ask if we look like-,”</p>
<p>“You do.”</p>
<p>“Fuck.”</p>
<p>“I thought that was the purpose of this?”</p>
<p>“Yeah but not like <em>that</em>!” Louis sighs. “Matt worries about us.”</p>
<p>“Should he be worried?”</p>
<p>“No, not at all.”</p>
<p>“That’s good. If I had only seen the pictures, I wouldn’t have thought you disliked Harry as much as you said.”</p>
<p>“That’s terrible!”</p>
<p>“He’s very sexy.”</p>
<p>“Oh Riley.” Louis thinks about the moment in the bedroom when he saw Harry’s body but the picture fades within seconds.</p>
<p>“What? He is! Don’t you agree?”</p>
<p>“I have a boyfriend who’s sexy enough.”</p>
<p>“I know, silly. Still you could find him sexy.”</p>
<p>“I don’t find him sexy. I find him annoying but Matt thinks I might forget about him over the stunting.”</p>
<p>“You’ve probably talked to him and told him not to worry, haven’t you?”</p>
<p>“I have. It’s difficult to sort out problems when you’re only communicating via phone and messages. I can understand his thoughts . . . I’d probably also worry about my relationship if I was him but there’s no need to worry about it, really not.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to convince me, Lou. I believe you. You did the right thing to tell him and I’m afraid that’s the only thing you can do.”</p>
<p>“Thank you. I feel a little bit better now.”</p>
<p>“That’s cool.”</p>
<p>Louis sighs. “Okay love, I don’t want to disturb you further since you seem to be very tired.”</p>
<p>Riley yawns. “I am, Lou, I am. Sleep well.”</p>
<p>“Thank you for being honest with me.”</p>
<p>Riley smiles. “Always.”</p>
<p>“Goodnight, Ri.”</p>
<p>Louis finds Harry sitting at the table, a cup of tea in front of him. Another one is placed at the end of the table for Louis. “Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I’m okay.” Louis walks over and takes a seat. “Have you seen the headlines?”</p>
<p>Harry nods. “Yeah, we’re doing a good job and see? The press likes you. Most of the headlines are about you, tiger.”</p>
<p>Louis looks at Harry. “You might be right about that.”</p>
<p>“For the first time you agreed with me. Interesting.”</p>
<p>“Oh, shut the fuck up. I’m not happy about it.” Louis pours some milk into his tea. “Thanks for the tea.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome. I’m just stating facts,” Harry shrugs. “So how did you like the fashion show?”</p>
<p>“I liked the music but the clothes were weird, I felt dressed like a penguin and . . . everything was just too much.” Louis presses his lips together.</p>
<p>“You look beautiful in the pictures.”</p>
<p>“Oh, stop it. You’re exaggerating.”</p>
<p>Harry lets out a laugh, pushes his hair back and chuckles quietly. “Come on, stop being so pessimistic. I can’t believe it’s your real self.”</p>
<p>“Let me be pessimistic,” Louis snaps. He doesn’t like that Harry is telling him something like that. Matt can do that or Riley. Or his bandmates but not Harry.</p>
<p>Harry scrolls though his phone and clicks at a certain picture. He holds his phone up to show it to Louis. “Look at you. You look great and the blazer really fits your waist so well and the smile – it’s nice! Look!”</p>
<p>Louis bends forward. “Yeah okay, it’s a nice picture.” Louis picks on the hem of his sleeves. “I think I’m going to bed, I’m pretty tired.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Harry nods.</p>
<p>Louis falls asleep soon before Harry goes to bed. He wakes up again in what feels like the middle of the night. He feels dizzy. He’s tired but he can’t really fall asleep. Somehow, he reaches the verge of falling asleep but he doesn’t really succeed. Maybe it’s not that late? Louis suddenly hears the entrance door close shut. Louis turns his head slowly, blinks and frowns. The bed next to him is empty. He can barely hear Harry talking in the hallway but his voice is very quiet.</p>
<p>“Yes, I understand,” Harry says. “Don’t cry. Really, you did the right thing.” A pause. “Yes, absolutely.” Harry’s voice is soft, lovely, even. “I’ll be home in about two days and then we’ll figure everything out together, okay? Does that help a little bit?” Louis can hear Harry walking in the hallway. Then he stops. “Of course, love, of course. I’ll cook for us and then I’ll be there for you. Do you think you can go on for about two more days without me?” Pause. “Yes. Okay. Sleep well and don’t forget it’s not your fault.” Louis can hear the steps coming closer. “Okay,” Harry whispers. “See you then. I love you.” Louis doesn’t budge when Harry walks into the bedroom, pretending that he’s asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. A MORE OR LESS NORMAL CONVERSATION</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, Louis wakes up early. He yawns, stretches himself and turns onto his back. He bends his head a little bit and sees Harry sleeping next to him. His messy curls are spread over the white pillow and he looks peaceful in his sleep. All Louis knows about Harry is what he’s read in the media: that he is always linked to celebrities, that he’s bisexual but mostly he’s seen with women, that he hooks up with the hottest people from the business, that he’s modelling for known labels and that he’s a multi-millionaire. If Louis didn’t know all those things about Harry, would he be nicer to him? Would he be as annoyed of him as he is? Why the fuck is he thinking about it? In that moment Louis gets reminded of why he woke up. He goes to the bathroom to have a wee, then he lays down in his bed again. As he’s slipping under the warm covers, Harry stirs and wakes slowly. He yawns and turns toward Louis. “Hey,” he says quietly and blinks. His voice is so deep in the morning.</p>
<p>“Hey.” Harry yawns again and some of his curls fall into his face. “Did you sleep well?”</p>
<p>“Are you sure you want to talk to me early in the morning?” Harry asks. He looks at Louis and smiles a little bit.</p>
<p>“I could try.”</p>
<p>“Sounds good.”</p>
<p>“Were you talking to your girlfriend last night?”</p>
<p>“Oh, you heard me? I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t.”</p>
<p>Suddenly, Harry’s alarm goes off. Louis frowns as he looks at his phone. It’s 7:30 in the morning. “Harry,” Louis moans, “we have a day off! Turn that alarm off, please!” He exhales and rubs his face. The sound is ringing in his ears and nearly gives him a headache.</p>
<p>“Sorry for the alarm. I forgot to turn down the volume last night. As you know working out is one of my favourite ways to start the day. It’s about time.”</p>
<p>“Oh god,” Louis moans, “that’s insane.”</p>
<p>Harry gets up from the bed. “I love it. After running, I usually have-,” he explains, but Louis interrupts him.</p>
<p>“Wait, wait, let me guess . . . you usually have breakfast: fresh orange juice and yoghurt with fruits, sometimes whole grain bread with cream cheese and avocado slices,” Louis says. “Am I right?”</p>
<p>Harry nods acknowledging. “You’re right. Except for the cream cheese. I prefer my slice of bread with avocado only. Who told you this?”</p>
<p>“I’m a smart person what actually might surprise you.”</p>
<p>Harry lets out a short laugh and shakes his head. “Alright Smartie - I’m quite impressed with your skills.” Harry takes his shirt off and changes into his sports outfit.</p>
<p>“Smartie? Of course, Harold.”</p>
<p>“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that, right?”</p>
<p>Louis just flips him off but Harry doesn’t seem impressed as he leaves. When Harry comes back from his run, Louis is still in bed. “Hey Smartie . . . do you want to spend your day off in bed being lazy?” Harry jokes as he takes off his beanie and jacket. His hair is messy, his cheeks are glowing in a slight pink tone.</p>
<p>“Yeah Harold. I’m enjoying my day off in contrast to you who obviously prefers torturing himself in the morning already,” Louis answers as he types something into his phone, not looking up.</p>
<p>“Fine. Do you want to have breakfast with me?”</p>
<p>“No, thanks. I think I’m going to order some food later.”</p>
<p>“Okay. I’ll go out today and spend the day with a friend so I probably won’t be back soon.”</p>
<p>Louis puts his phone down. “Let me guess, she is a model too.”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Why doesn’t that surprise me.”</p>
<p>“She’s one of the girls who walked the runway yesterday.”</p>
<p>“The one with the obnoxious blue mop around her head and the silver condom she wore as a suit?”</p>
<p>Harry chuckles. “Well, I wouldn’t describe her outfit like that but yes, it’s her.”</p>
<p>“Wait, let me think . . . her name sounded like that crisp brand Walkers.”</p>
<p>“Louis!” Harry half-laughs.</p>
<p>“What? Her name sounds like Walkers.”</p>
<p>“I call her Walkie but her full name is Walijyah.”</p>
<p>“See?”</p>
<p>Harry shakes his head and rolls his eyes playfully. “Well, I’m going to meet her and we’ll probably go out too so don’t wait for me.”</p>
<p>“Why should I wait for you?”</p>
<p>“Well, we’re staying in a room together so I thought you might want to know in case if you want to take advantage of being alone but if you don’t mind?”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head but chuckles. “I don’t know what’s going on in your model brain but I’m not going to have an orgy in here when you come back. Now fuck off and do whatever you want to do.” Louis’ voice is almost playful, not too bitter.</p>
<p>“You are always so dramatic.” Harry puts his left hand onto his hip, bends it to the right while he rolls his eyes. He holds his right arm up and touches his forehead with the back of his right hand.</p>
<p>Harry’s pose makes Louis laugh. “You’re crazy, really.”</p>
<p>“I think there are two people in here who are a little bit crazy, don’t you think so?” Harry doesn’t wait for Louis to answer as he walks out of the room.</p>
<p>After Harry has left, Louis orders breakfast for himself. After lunch, the other boys want to do a sightseeing tour of the city as well as some other crew members so the tour manager arranges everything for them. He books a private sightseeing bus for the group that picks them up at the hotel. Since there are few fans waiting outside, Zayn, Louis, Liam and Niall take pictures with them and write autographs for some minutes. The crew members get into the bus first but Rob and Ben stay outside with the band and observe everyone around with eagle eyes.</p>
<p>On their trip they visit Paris’ most beautiful sights such as the Eiffel Tower, Montmartre and the huge cathedral Notre Dame, as well as some secret locations that are beautiful and not easy to find for someone who doesn’t live in the city. It’s a nice day that’s filled with laughter and fun. After the tour, the group has dinner together and after that everyone does what they want. Liam and Zayn decide to go to the gym, Niall wants to read a book and Louis decides to just talk to his family and friends to catch up with the latest news from back home. He promises everyone to visit during the three days they have off before the band is heading to Barcelona. When Harry comes home in the middle of the night, Louis is fast asleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. MORE HEADLINES</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, Louis checks his social media after waking up. “Look what they write about us,” he tells Harry who has been awake for hours already, of course. Harry is sitting on the bed in his comfy clothes, reading a book about yoga and meditation.</p>
<p>“I haven’t checked that yet.” Harry puts his book down. “Mr. Sia called me yesterday to tell me how professional we were and that everything was perfect.”</p>
<p>“Why did he call <em>you</em> and not me?”</p>
<p>Harry puts his index finger onto his closed mouth and looks up. “Hm, let me think why he didn’t call you.” He makes a dramatic pause. “Not very difficult to guess, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Why wouldn’t he piss me off? That’s his favourite thing to do.”</p>
<p>“Oh Louis!” Harry sighs. “Because you always end up arguing with him, that’s why. He’s doing his job, nothing else and you attack him for everything you don’t agree with – which is . . . everything.”</p>
<p>“I know you’re on his side but I still don’t understand why.”</p>
<p>“Because it’s part of this business and I just try to keep it professional. I’m not on anyone’s side.”</p>
<p>“I don’t like this part at all and I don’t like that I’m forced to do stuff.”</p>
<p>“Well, sometimes it’s like that but I have learned to just accept things as they are. If you want to have that job, you have to ignore some unpleasant parts and make sacrifices. It’s not only a thing in your branch, it’s also relevant in mine. I often have photoshoots I’m not happy with but if the customer wants to book me, I have to go and I have to do what they want me to. I enjoy being a model and my agency makes appointments for me, easy as that. If I decline a job, I might not be booked by that company again.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, I get it. But I’m not like you.”</p>
<p>“I can see that, Louis. But trust me, everything would be easier for you if you just accepted the circumstances. I know I’ve already told you that many times but I mean who cares? Let’s have a good time together, just that.”</p>
<p>“That sounds so easy.”</p>
<p>“It isn’t that hard, really. It’s like . . . walking down the runway with clothes you find ugly but at the same time, it’s your job and you are supposed to pretend that it’s the best outfit in the world and that you’re proud to wear it. It’s a job, nothing else.”</p>
<p>“May I remind you of the show yesterday? Most of those obnoxious outfits looked terrible and you seemed to like every one of them.”</p>
<p>“Well, Gucci is great. Every single garment is hand-made, the fabrics they use are high-quality material and it’s a huge effort to create and sew those outfits, you know? Imagine, every single, tiny detail like diamonds or ornaments are picked one by one and sewed manually onto the fabric which is an enormous effort. It’s the whole process that makes those clothes special.”</p>
<p>“The prices are also special.”</p>
<p>“True.”</p>
<p>“I bet you get most of your outfits for free.”</p>
<p>“Sometimes but not as many as people think. What I get is a discount on labels I work for. Anyways, tell me what they write about us.” Harry puts his book away and gets into a comfortable position.</p>
<p>Louis sighs. “Headlines first?”</p>
<p>“Headlines first.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“Styles and Tomlinson out and about for Gucci – both dressed for the runway?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Louis Tomlinson’s secret career as a model.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“What did he whisper into your ear, Mr. Styles?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“One Direction star Louis Tomlinson and supermodel Harry Styles attend the Gucci fashion show in Paris – do they share a secret?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Is there something we should know, Mr. Styles?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Tomlinson and Styles rock the Parisian Gucci fashion show.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Harry Styles takes his (boy)friend Louis Tomlinson to a Gucci fashion show in Paris.”</em>
</p>
<p>“Boyfriend,” Louis with a sarcastic undertone. “Yeah, of course. What the hell did you tell them on the red carpet before the show?”</p>
<p>“Nothing. I dodged every question that included you and me.”</p>
<p>“Obviously, your tactic wasn’t successful. Now some people think we’re <em>together</em>!”</p>
<p>Harry lets out a sarcastic laugh. “That’s the plan and you know it.”</p>
<p>“Do you want me to continue reading or do you prefer discussing?”</p>
<p>“Continue. I want to know what your fans think.”</p>
<p>“Of course, you do, Harold.”</p>
<p>Harry swats Louis arm. “Shut up and read.”</p>
<p>“Oh, wow I wasn’t aware that you could act bossy for once, Mr. Perfect,” Louis says mockingly but smiles. Harry just gives him a critical look. “Okay, okay, I’ll continue.”</p>
<p>
  <em>“They’re in the city of love, that’s definitely not a coincidence. I’m sure Harry will show up on the shows, keep observing.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I knew the sun was in love with Harry, who wouldn’t be?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I saw them walking out of a hotel, I swear I nearly fainted!!!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m crying, just crying. They look so fucking good together!”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“They’re both hot as fuck and nobody can convince me otherwise. The hottest couple ever.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“They’re not together, silly people. They’re just hanging out. Have you seen them kiss?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Kissing in public doesn’t make a couple. You have no idea what goes on behind closed doors.”</em>
</p>
<p>“If they only knew,” Louis says. “They would hate us.”</p>
<p>“Probably not, look at the reactions. They’re having fun, aren’t they?</p>
<p>“I don’t know if this is fun to them . . . maybe. A weird way of having fun.”</p>
<p>“Seems so. Are there more posts?”</p>
<p>“Sure, wait.” Louis scrolls down.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Louis is the luckiest man on earth – why can’t I date Harry?”</em>
</p>
<p>“See? They say you’re lucky.” Harry chuckles.</p>
<p>“Oh, stop talking shit. She can have you, let me just tell her.” Louis is about to klick the girl’s username.</p>
<p>“Don’t you dare!” Harry yells and grabs Louis’ arm. Louis chuckles amused as he looks Harry in the eyes for a second, then Harry lets go of Louis’ arm and Louis continues scrolling.</p>
<p>
  <em>“From hate to love – where is my fic?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“They never hated each other, what are you talking about, bitches?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Louis flipping Harry off is a nice gesture according to you?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Louis usually flips off people he likes.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“I’m dying to know what happened between them that they’re in Paris now – together. Maybe sharing a bedroom. Fuck.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“They’re born to be a couple. I wish they’d tweet to each other.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Harry in Gucci feels like a warm summer rain and Louis next to him is the friend you’re dancing in the rain with.”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>“Those photos are life.”</em>
</p>
<p>Louis puts his phone down. “Are you happy now?”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t say I’m happy but it’s going well, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>Louis shrugs. “It’s still bullshit.”</p>
<p>“Do you mind if I come to the soundcheck with you?”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t mind as long as-,”</p>
<p>“you don’t need to babysit me,” Harry finishes Louis’ sentence. “I know.”</p>
<p>“Exactly. We’re going to leave around four.”</p>
<p>“So, I can come?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, if you want.”</p>
<p>“Cool.” Harry puts the book aside and sits down at the edge of the bed. “I need to call my agency now and after that I’ll work out again.”</p>
<p>“What? Again?”</p>
<p>“I love working out and I have to keep fit. If you want, you can join me.”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head. “Definitely not. Don’t you think you look good enough already?”</p>
<p>“How do you know how I look?”</p>
<p>“Are you kidding? You change your clothes in front of me all the time without even asking me if I’m okay with it.”</p>
<p>“As per you I thought I was annoying so you wouldn’t look at me anyways, would you?”</p>
<p>Louis rolls his eyes.</p>
<p>“But thank you for the compliment.”</p>
<p>“Compliment? I didn’t say anything to you.”</p>
<p>“Fine. Anyway, my body is my asset and I have to keep in shape.” Harry rubs his thighs twice and hits them with the palms of his hands before he stands up. “Time for me to go. See you later then.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Louis wait! Louis!” Zayn yells as he’s running down the hallway. Louis stops in front of his room and turns around. His band mate is holding three small balls in his hands. “Look what I can do!” he says, a huge grin on his face as he throws the balls into the air and starts juggling. After the third round, he loses one of the balls and he lets the others fall on the floor too. Zayn has a huge grin on his face after picking the small orange balls up. “Isn’t that fucking cool? Harry showed it to me – did you know he can juggle? He can do that even with five of these!”</p>
<p>“I didn’t know that.”</p>
<p>“You’re in a room together, how can you not know that about him? He’s been doing this since he was a kid and I swear he could put on a whole show! He’s so talented!”</p>
<p>Louis opens the door to his room and closes it right after Zayn has entered. “Aha.”</p>
<p>“He’s easy going, he’s easy to talk with, he’s cool and funny, smart, polite . . . I swear I’ve never met someone as kind as him.”</p>
<p>“And you’re telling me that because . . .-,” Louis says slowly, holding his hand up in a questioning position. He hates how Zayn speaks about Harry and he is jealous, tremendously jealous.</p>
<p>“Just because he’s cool! You should enjoy your time with him, Louis.”</p>
<p>“Who called you to tell me that, Sia? Harry himself?” Louis flops down on the sofa.</p>
<p>“No Louis, nobody gave me instructions. I just think you’re not treating him the right way. He’s in the same position as you.”</p>
<p>“Why does he talk about me behind my back?”</p>
<p>“He didn’t but I see what’s going on.”</p>
<p>“He has told you.”</p>
<p>“I swear, he never said a bad word about you. It’s just what I think.”</p>
<p>“He just doesn’t seem to have a problem with the stunt thing whereas I do.”</p>
<p>“I know you do. Everyone knows.”</p>
<p>“I have a boyfriend.”</p>
<p>“The plan isn’t to bring you two together for real.”</p>
<p>Louis rolls his eyes. “I know, Zayn. You don’t have to tell me.”</p>
<p>Zayn throws his hands in the air. “Then why the fuck can’t you just be nice to him?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. I just can’t fake it.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to fake anything. Just be yourself and treat him like the good person he is. You’re usually kind to everyone around you and I mean <em>everyone</em>. You’re an amazing friend, son and brother, you’re nice to people who need your help, you’ve done so much charity and you treat everyone the way <em>you</em> want to be treated, why can’t you give Harry a chance?”</p>
<p>Louis doesn’t look Zayn in the eyes. “I don’t know but I think I was a little bit nicer this morning. At least I tried.”</p>
<p>“You did?”</p>
<p>“I think so.”</p>
<p>“Well, I just wanted you to think about it,” Zayn says. “Rob is going to pick us up for the soundcheck around three.”</p>
<p>Louis nods. “I know, he has already told me. But thanks for keeping me up to date.”</p>
<p>Zayn smiles. He puts his hand onto Louis’ shoulder and kneads it firmly, then pats his it. “Always,” he says. “Please promise that you’ll be nicer to Harry, okay?”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Louis sighs. Zayn gives Louis a hung, then leaves.</p>
<p>Louis walks over to the sofa and sits down. He stares at the white fabric in front of him for a while, then gets up and walks to the wide window façade on the right to look at the huge city that opens up in front of him. In the distance, he can spot the iron scaffold of the Eiffel Tower that towers over the wonderful houses of the 19<sup>th</sup> century that offer this special Parisian flair. He thinks about Zayn’s words while he lets his eyes wander around, enjoying the vast view over the city.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. LE PETIT BOL VERT</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Suddenly, Louis feels someone touching his shoulder what startles him. He turns around within a second and sees Harry standing very close. “What the fuck! Oh my God, Harry!” Louis yells as he nearly jumps because Harry has given him a tremendous fright. He puts his hand over his heart as he takes one step back.</p>
<p>“I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry. I thought you heard me.” Harry steps closer to the window next to Louis. “Wow, the view is fantastic.”</p>
<p>“You sound as if you’ve never been to Paris. For a model, that’s quite strange, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>“I’ve been here before but I never had enough time to really enjoy the city. In my job it’s normal to always being occupied or waiting somewhere inside buildings. Usually there’s no time for sightseeing or enjoying the stay. I’d land at the airport, get to my job and fly back or head to another job right away. It’s seldom that I’m supposed to stay somewhere for a night and if so, I usually come to the hotel room so late that the only thing I can do sleeping.”</p>
<p>“Sounds a little bit like my job.”</p>
<p>“It’s similar. Still I have the impression you get a little bit more time to enjoy your stay. By the way that’s also a reason why I don’t see this job with you as a huge burden since it’s even a little bit relaxing for me. Usually I’d be working now instead of enjoying this wonderful view after working out.”</p>
<p>“It’s almost lunchtime,” Louis says as he walks over to the kitchen area and fills the kettle with water. “What did you do for so long?”</p>
<p>“I was at the gym and worked out for a while just as I had planned it.”</p>
<p>“Oh wow. You are quite persistent, I’d say. That could never happen to me.”</p>
<p>“Doing sports is my drive. It’s something my body just wants and needs to do.”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head in disbelieve. “I will never understand that. You don’t even look exhausted. What are you, some kind of alien?”</p>
<p>Harry laughs. “I don’t think so. I’m just a sports freak, that’s all. Are you hungry?”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“I would like to have lunch and wondered if you wanted to keep company?”</p>
<p>“You want to have lunch with me?”</p>
<p>“Why not? We’ve already practised in London, remember? I think we could manage another time and maybe it could be decent. It went quite well although you had some initial difficulties.” Harry nudges Louis.</p>
<p>Louis flips Harry off with a stern look but then he changes his facial expression to a smug smile. Harry holds his hands up and pulls a funny face that makes Louis laugh. “Okay, okay, I’ll come with you – but only if it’s not some weird stunt Sia has told you to convince me into without letting me know.”</p>
<p>“No, Mr. Sia has nothing to do with it. I just think we should spend more quality time together that doesn’t consist of spending time far away from each other.”</p>
<p>“The way you pronounce “Mr. Sia” makes me sick,” Louis says. Harry doesn’t respond. He blows air through his lips but stays quiet as he turns away.</p>
<p>“I’m almost ready,” Harry says when he has finished showering. “I’ll just dry my hair quickly and then we can go.”</p>
<p>“Where should we go? Stay in or go out?”</p>
<p>“I’d prefer to go out.”</p>
<p>“Should we go to the place I went to with my band and crew yesterday or would you rather go somewhere else?”</p>
<p>“Where were you?”</p>
<p>“At a small pizza place.”</p>
<p>“Well, we’ve been to a pizza place together so I’d prefer something else if you’re okay with that.”</p>
<p>“Well?”</p>
<p>“I know a really cute, hidden vegan restaurant here in Paris. Have you ever tried vegan food?”</p>
<p>Louis turns up his nose. “Really? Vegan food? That sounds awful.”</p>
<p>“On the contrary! It can be very tasty actually.”</p>
<p>Louis makes a disgusted face. “I don’t know. Vegan food sounds like a terrible solution when you’re hungry.”</p>
<p>“Come on! Jump over your shadow and try it out! You have never tried Vegan food, have you?”</p>
<p>Louis pulls a disgusted face. “No and I don’t think I’ve missed out.”</p>
<p>“You can’t know if you haven’t eaten it. Come on. Give it a try.” Harry gives Louis a pleading look.</p>
<p>“Okay, okay. I’ll try it,” Louis says. “Do you always use that look on people to get what you want?”</p>
<p>“What look?” Harry asks innocently. He rubs a towel over his wet, curly hair.</p>
<p>“Idiot.”</p>
<p>“Thanks for the compliment. At least you didn’t flip me off this time so that’s good progress, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>“Don’t count your chickens before you hatch. Now hurry up and dry your hair because I’m almost starving.”</p>
<p>Harry nods. “Mr. Sassy is back, I see.”</p>
<p>“Stop mocking me, Harold.”</p>
<p>“You stop telling me what to do.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Sorry.”</p>
<p>Harry looks at Louis and nods. “We can get a taxi and be there in about fifteen minutes or so, it’s not far.”</p>
<p>“What if people spot us?”</p>
<p>“It’s a regular weekday, students are at school and the paparazzi won’t be there since that little restaurant isn’t really known. In case if people spot us, we’ll get some more publicity which wouldn’t be a huge problem as you know. We’ll go there, eat and return.”</p>
<p>“Shouldn’t we tell Rob or Ben or at least one of them? We could also ask Jeremy if he could drive us.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry so much about things. Let’s just behave like normal people for once who just do what they want without telling anyone anything. Put a cap and your thickest jacket on and then we’ll go.”</p>
<p>“You’ve already planned this, I see.”</p>
<p>“Half of my job consists of planning so I’m used to it. Let me just blow dry my hair quickly and then we can leave.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>About half an hour later, Harry and Louis arrive at the “Le Petit Bol Vert”. It’s a small, cosy place that also offers small booths that are a little bit more intimate than sitting at a table next to others. The waiter leads Harry and Louis to one in the very back. There aren’t many people in the restaurant and those who are there don’t recognize Harry and Louis or they aren’t interested in them.</p>
<p>After they’ve ordered the drinks, the waiter brings them two menus. “Is that all they offer?” Louis says a little bit disappointed as he bends the card to check if he’s overlooked something.</p>
<p>“They don’t need more because what they have is delicious enough. Are you very hungry?”</p>
<p>“I’m starving. What if that rabbit food isn’t enough for me? Should we bet?”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a smug smile. “Are you sure that you want to risk losing?”</p>
<p>“We’ll see who will lose and who won’t, I’d say,” Louis answers. “Okay so what should we bet about?”</p>
<p>“Our bet is that you won’t leave this restaurant hungry.”</p>
<p>“I’m in but only if I can tell you what the prize is.”</p>
<p>“Tell me.”</p>
<p>“If I win, you’ll give me a back massage and if you win, I’ll give you one whenever you want.”</p>
<p>Harry nods and reaches out his hand toward Louis. “Deal.”</p>
<p>“Deal,” Louis repeats as he shakes Harry’s hand.</p>
<p>“I can’t wait for my massage,” Harry smiles.</p>
<p>“Oh . . . don’t be so full of yourself. We haven’t even ordered.”</p>
<p>“How hungry are you on a scale from zero to ten?”</p>
<p>“I’d say twelve. What would you recommend?”</p>
<p>“That sounds like a serious problem,” Harry says as he opens his menu. “Since you’ve never been to a vegan restaurant, I think we might have the “All for two” menu, if you want . . . look here.” Harry shows Louis where it’s written on the menu. “The cool thing is that with this dish you can try everything they offer.”</p>
<p>“Sounds good.”</p>
<p>“Alright. I’ll order that for us. I’ve never seen such an offer in another restaurant but this one.”</p>
<p>Shortly after Harry has ordered, the waiter serves the first plates. To Louis’ surprise the food tastes good. “I have to admit that it doesn’t taste as bad as I thought,” he says as he shoves a forkful mushrooms and sauce into his mouth. “I love this dish so much.”</p>
<p>Harry smiles and nods. “It’s great, isn’t it? I love the eggplant with that filling and the crispy tofu here it also delicious.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Louis nods, “I have to admit that I quite like it, except for the kale salad.”</p>
<p>“What? You don’t like that?”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head. “Not really.”</p>
<p>“Oh God, I love it!”</p>
<p>“You can have my portion.”</p>
<p>Harry smiles happily as he takes the small size bowl Louis hands him. “This salad is one of my favourites. Have you tried the green curry and the pakoras?”</p>
<p>Louis nods with his mouth full. “Yeah, I like both dishes, they’re delicious. The spices are on point and the pakoras are so crispy! I love crispy food more than anything.” He chews first, gulps and takes a sip of his drink. “Who introduced you to vegan food? I always thought it was tasteless.”</p>
<p>Harry takes a bite of his small vegan burger and chews for a while. “My mum did. We have a ritual with my sister and her. Every month we try out a new restaurant together and a friend of my mum took her to a vegan once at her birthday. She loved the food and introduced us to it and since then I like going to vegan restaurants, too. I like meat, don’t get me wrong but this is also great. I’m happy you’re enjoying your meal.”</p>
<p>“I do. It’s not easy for me to admit but I do.”</p>
<p>“Do you think you might leave this place hungry?”</p>
<p>Louis laughs. “No, definitely not. You have already won. The funny thing is I really never enjoyed eggplants but these here are amazing. My mum wouldn’t believe what I’m saying, I swear.”</p>
<p>“She probably wouldn’t believe you’re eating all this.”</p>
<p>“Never. Maybe I should send her a picture.”</p>
<p>“The right proof, I’d say.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Louis nods and takes a picture for his mum. “She’ll be happy. I usually eat a lot of mean, burgers, kebabs and other fast food.”</p>
<p>“It’s so unhealthy, Louis. You shouldn’t eat that too often.”</p>
<p>“I’m not fat.” Louis rolls his eyes. “You sound like my mum.”</p>
<p>“I sound like your inner voice that’s telling you the same, am I right? And it’s not about getting fat but the ingredients that are unhealthy.”</p>
<p>“Why do you know everything, are you secretly studying psychology and nutrition science?” Louis lets two crispy pieces of tofu disappear in his mouth, followed by a huge piece of filled eggplant.</p>
<p>“Just because my knowledge of human nature is quite developed it doesn’t mean it’s scary and I don’t know everything. It’s just . . . normal, I’d say. I always observe a little bit. This case wasn’t so hard to solve, everyone has that inner voice inside them, right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, you might be right. My mum always wants me to live healthier but I just love burgers, chips, crisps and all that. The flavours of those are exploding in my mouth every time I eat them . . . I can’t help myself. I crave stuff like that from time to time.”</p>
<p>“If you ate more natural food like lean meat and veggies, you wouldn’t crave that stuff so much.”</p>
<p>“How do you know?”</p>
<p>“I’ve been through that years ago.”</p>
<p><em>“You?”</em> Louis says astonished. He thought Harry was one of those guys who looked naturally beautiful without any effort. “I thought you were born like <em>that</em>.”</p>
<p>Harry shakes his head. “The divorce of my mum and dad was the trigger. It broke my heart and I thought I had to decide who I loved most when I chose to live with my mum. It felt like I betrayed my dad although he told me he was okay with it. For more than three years, I developed some weird eating disorder where I ate too much in general but almost only fast food, sweets . . . all the bad things you shouldn’t eat on a regular basis. My mum tried to help me but I didn’t want her to. I was thirteen so I was quite stubborn and hated her vegetables and low-fat yoghurts. One day we went to the doctor to check my state and then he told me I was at the verge of getting seriously ill with diabetes and other terrible things. At that time my best friend Johnny joined the football club so I went there with him. That saved me because I loved it so much that I spent every free minute outside. It took me three years to lose weight. At age 15, I started going to the gym with my friend and from there on, I have been working on my body – since today. Maybe that’s the reason I love sport so much. It helped me to change and to feel better.” Harry takes a bite of his eggplant and chews. “I’m not perfect, Louis. I know you think that for some weird reason, but really, I’m not.”</p>
<p>Louis takes a sip of his coke. “What a story,” he says. “But look at you – you do look perfect all the time.”</p>
<p>“There’s more to people than their looks. I mean – I use my body for work so I have to be in shape but it’s not the most important thing, not for me. If I had to stop training because of an illness or something, it would be okay. I might not work as a model anymore but I’m sure I’d find something else to keep myself occupied.”</p>
<p>“Well, how you look is the first thing people see.”</p>
<p>“Yeah and they usually judge too fast on that. I’m not a fan of focussing on externals.”</p>
<p>Louis nods. “Yeah, that’s true. I do that too, to be honest.”</p>
<p>“Everyone does that without even wanting it . . . but it’s wrong.” Harry pauses as he looks at his watch. “Oh, it’s almost two. Time flies when you’re with people you like, doesn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, with people you like,” Louis repeats quietly. “I’m not sure if I like you.”</p>
<p>Harry pulls a funny face. “You’re breaking my heart,” he jokes, putting his hand over his heart.</p>
<p>Louis rolls his eyes but can’t hide a small smile. “Yeah, of course.”</p>
<p>“Well, maybe it’s not completely broken.”</p>
<p>“Lucky you,” Louis says amused and Harry chuckles. They finish their meal within the next minutes and Harry insists on paying the bill. Later in the car, Louis argues with Harry to give him half of the sum back. “We weren’t on a date so let me pay for my shit,” he demands forcefully after Harry has rejected him for the second time.</p>
<p>“Okay, okay,” Harry sighs. “You’re hard to deal with, really.”</p>
<p>“Why? I just want to pay for my food, what’s wrong with that?”</p>
<p>“Nothing but I don’t mind inviting you since I chose the restaurant and you weren’t too convinced at first. Just a little friendly thing.”</p>
<p>“It’s out of the question here. Take the money.”</p>
<p>“Well okay . . . thanks. Are you happy now?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Happy and absolutely not hungry anymore.” Louis puts his hands onto his tummy and lets air flow through his lips.</p>
<p>Harry grins. “I can’t wait for my massage.”</p>
<p>“Honestly I thought I’d win this.”</p>
<p>“Well, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“As if,” Louis growls but gives Harry a smile. Suddenly, he feels his cheeks flush when Harry’s eyes meet his. What the fuck? Harry just shakes his head but replies the smile. Louis turns his head around to look out of the window instead into Harry’s piercing green eyes as they drive through the busy streets of the city.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. WHAT'S WRONG ABOUT BEING FRIENDS?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the short soundcheck in the afternoon the band practices some parts of the show on their own and then the boys sing three full songs. When Louis sings his part in “Little things” he can hear Harry clapping and yelling something from his seat close to the stage but he can’t understand what exactly. After the soundcheck, Harry walks towards the band in the hallway. “Guys, you were great! Amazing . . . really. I’m so glad that I have the opportunity to hear you that often!” He gives everyone high five and Zayn puts his arm around Harry’s shoulders.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Zayn smiles. “I’m happy that you’ve discovered new horizons!”</p>
<p>“Obviously.”</p>
<p>“Have you ever listened to our songs before?” Liam asks.</p>
<p>“Just your first one but I didn’t really pay attention, I don’t know. I’m more into the 70ties and 80ties vibes, Madonna, Bon Jovi, Metallica and stuff but as I’ve already said, I love your music and I’m glad that I discovered it this way.”</p>
<p>“That’s true,” Liam says. “Are you going to attend the whole concert tonight?”</p>
<p>“Sure! Why not?”</p>
<p>“Because last time you left early, you missed the final song and the atmosphere there was breath taking.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, I had to catch my flight because of a photo shooting. Today I’ll stay.”</p>
<p>“Cool.” Liam pauses as they walk down the hallway. “By the way, who wants to get on the sag ways again? Niall? Zayn?” he proposes excitedly. “Mike told me we could do it again, he fixed the broken one.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I want to come with you,” Niall answers.</p>
<p>“I’d rather just be on my own before the show,” Zayn says and walks over to his and Liam’s dressing room. “Maybe next time.”</p>
<p>Liam nods. “Alright. Bye guys, see you later!” And then Liam, Niall and Zayn are gone. Louis and Harry walk into the other dressing room that’s very cosy. In Paris, the band and the musicians have separate rooms. Louis flops down on one of the sofas and Harry too. They sit opposite of each other and Harry puts his arm onto the backrest. “Your voice is unique. It’s just . . . wonderful I mean – you sing that one song so beautifully, Louis. I love your part the most. The others are good singers too but you carry something special within your voice. Just wow. It’s great that I could listen to you and that I’m going to see your show again.”</p>
<p>Louis can feel his cheeks flush for the second time that day. Nobody has ever said something so beautiful about his voice. “Oh . . . thank you,” he says quietly.</p>
<p>“Don’t you believe me?”</p>
<p>“I do but . . . you’ve said many nice things about me and I don’t know what to think of that.”</p>
<p>“You shouldn’t doubt every word I say or overthink everything. I really mean it.”</p>
<p>“You’re my stunt partner, not my friend. It’s like you’re trying to be friends with me or something . . . that’s weird,” Louis answers and picks at the hem of his pullover. He doesn’t look up.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong about being friends?” Harry asks. “Being stunt partners doesn’t exclude being friends at the same time.” Louis shrugs but stays quiet. He doesn’t look up. “I’m not trying anything, Louis. I just love your voice and honestly, at first, I didn’t like being around you because you were nothing but in a bad mood but lately, we’ve been getting on well together, haven’t we?”</p>
<p>Louis presses his lips together and nods. “A little bit, I guess.”</p>
<p>“I feel like you have built a wall between you and me but I don’t understand why.”</p>
<p>“The situation is just exhausting. I want this stunt to be over and I want my life back.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry that you feel this way.”</p>
<p>“I know you can’t relate since for you the situation doesn’t seem to be a burden at all.”</p>
<p>“It’s just the way I handle it, I guess.” Harry fixes his curls.</p>
<p>“Whatever it is.”</p>
<p>“Are you hungry?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“I am.” Harry gets up from the sofa while Louis takes the blanket from the armrest and covers himself with it. He adjusts the decorative pillow under his head.</p>
<p>“I want to nap,” Louis mumbles.</p>
<p>“Okay. I can’t wait for the show to start,” Harry says and walks out of the room. After the door has been shut, Louis closes his eyes.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. AFTER THE SHOW</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the show, the band and Harry return to the hotel as usual. Louis is exhausted but still, adrenaline is pumping through his veins and he doesn’t feel like going to bed at all. Niall and the others are brabbling like crazy during the drive. Everyone is talking and laughing and absolutely enjoying themselves, including Jeremy and the bodyguards Rob and Ben. When they’re in their room, Harry goes straight to the bathroom. When he comes back, he’s wearing his tight briefs only and the old, worn Rolling Stone shirt with holes he usually sleeps in. Louis sits on his bed, scrolling through the latest pictures he has taken.</p>
<p>“Do you want to sleep?” he asks Harry.</p>
<p>“I have to leave early in the morning.”</p>
<p>“When?”</p>
<p>“Around seven.”</p>
<p>“That’s fucking early.”</p>
<p>“It is.” Harry turns around in bed. His curls are sprawled on the white pillow. “I loved the show but I feel like I can still hear the crowd screaming. They were so loud.”</p>
<p>Louis chuckles. “It doesn’t go away, does it?”</p>
<p>“Not really.”</p>
<p>“You should get used to it if you want to attend more shows.”</p>
<p>“Seems so. Goodnight.”</p>
<p>“Goodnight, Harold.”</p>
<p>Harry tries to hit Louis with his hand but misses him. “You’re terrible,” Harry mumbles, “but I’m too tired to pay back now.”</p>
<p>“You can try tomorrow again.”</p>
<p>“Shut up.”</p>
<p>Louis looks at Harry for a while. His breathing slows down and within minutes, quiet snores escape his mouth. Louis usually can’t stand snoring but to his surprise Harry’s isn’t annoying at all. Louis puts his phone onto the bedside table and slides down in bed to lay down in a comfortable position. He looks out of the windows, thinking about his day. It wasn’t so bad reading the headlines with Harry in the morning and also their lunch was better than he had imagined. Maybe this day has been a little step toward accepting the circumstances a little better, Louis thinks to himself.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>In the morning, Harry is gone. Louis looks over to the empty side of the bed. The only thing that’s left is Harry’s water bottle and a pack of tissues he always puts on the bedside table before sleeping. Louis turns around again and looks out of the huge window front. The sun has already risen outside and the roofs of the houses glisten beautifully in the golden sunlight. Some clouds are covering the sky but nevertheless, it’s a sunny morning. Louis blinks twice before he turns around in bed again. They’ll leave for Berlin around two in the afternoon but until then there’s enough time to stay in bed and just be lazy.</p>
<p>At lunchtime, Louis meets the other band members and some crew members at the restaurant of the hotel. They talk about last night’s show and what happened backstage. “By the way, where’s Harry?” Zayn suddenly throws in. “Shouldn’t he be with you?”</p>
<p>“Does he have to be everywhere with me?” Louis’ tone is a bit harsh but he just can’t contain his temper. Again, someone is talking about Harry when he isn’t there as if it was Louis’ task to always keep everyone informed about him. “I’m sure you have his number by now, just text him and ask.”</p>
<p>“Sorry man . . . I just wanted to know,” Zayn replies reproachfully, “stop bitching around!”</p>
<p>“You’ve gotten slightly aggressive since Harry’s become your new boyfriend,” Niall jokes but Louis isn’t in the mood for jokes, obviously. He stops eating, frowns and stares at Niall with a sour facial expression.</p>
<p>“He’s not my boyfriend, Niall. Stop calling him that!”</p>
<p>“It was a joke, okay? Calm down, just a joke! Jesus, what’s wrong with you today?”</p>
<p>Louis can feel the anger boiling inside of him, anger mixed with an uncomfortable nuance of some undefinable feeling that tugs at his heart. Why can’t they understand? Louis has talked to them but still they make jokes and hurt him with his words. Louis feels helpless. “You know exactly how I feel about this stunt thing and yet, you keep rubbing salt into my wounds whenever you can! Both of you! Just stop asking me about Harry and don’t make fun of him being my boyfriend – that’s all I’m asking for but you just won’t stop.” After that message, everyone around is quiet for some seconds. Louis looks down and shakes his head. “It’s not funny – at least not for me.”</p>
<p>“Sorry Lou, I didn’t want to upset you,” Zayn says and rubs Louis’ back. “I thought you two were getting on well.”</p>
<p>“So what? Does that change anything? I think not.” Louis stabs some of his potatoes onto his fork. “I don’t want to talk about him all the time and I don’t want you to talk about him as if he was one of my friends. He’s not my friend or someone I want to be remembered of permanently. I’ve told you so many times how hard this is for me but you won’t listen to me.” Louis voice has gotten quieter. “It’s crazy enough that everyone seems infatuated with him.”</p>
<p>Niall sighs. “Sorry Lou. I just wanted to be funny.” Louis glares at him for a second. “Do you believe me?”</p>
<p>“It’s okay now. I don’t think you really understand, both of you. I’m alone in this, absolutely alone.” Louis puts his fork down. His appetite is gone, there’s only a sinking feeling left in his stomach.</p>
<p>“Do you want to come with us for a quick round of table tennis after lunch?” Zayn asks.</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head. “No. I’m really not in the mood to do anything with you now. I’ll just stay in my room until we leave.”</p>
<p>Zayn puts his hand onto Louis’ shoulder and squeezes it. “Hey Lou, we really didn’t want to irritate you. I’m sorry. We’d love you to come with us.”</p>
<p>“Zayn, don’t. Just leave me be. You’ve hurt me enough.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Zayn says. “Please if you want I can-,”</p>
<p>“You don’t understand me anyways,” Louis says. “Just think about what you say to me the next time. If you were in my position, you would understand but you’re not. You two don’t.” He presses his lips together and leaves. The day began nicely but now it’s a mess again. Maybe Zayn and Niall can’t understand, Louis thinks. Later, they come to Louis’ room and apologize again. As a present, they got Louis a small basket that’s filled with different sweets.  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0028"><h2>28. BEFORE AND AFTER THE STUNT</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After they land at the airport in Berlin, Jeremy drives them to their hotel where the band gets ready for the following meet and greet some fans have won. After the meet and greet the band is on their way to have dinner with some other crew members. “Are we going to a pizzeria?” Louis asks Rob as he’s driving through the streets of Berlin.</p>
<p>“No, I don’t think so.”</p>
<p>“A vegan restaurant, maybe?”</p>
<p>Rob turns around on his front passenger seat and frowns. “Pizzeria? Vegan? Are you okay or should I check if you have a temperature?” He grins at Louis and everyone in the car laughs.</p>
<p>“Why is that funny?”</p>
<p>“Because your thoughts are.” He chuckles. “Who thinks of vegan food and pizza at the same time?”</p>
<p>“Well, I was just asking,” Louis mumbles.</p>
<p>Rob laughs and pats Louis’ knee. “It’s alright, alright, I was joking. I hope we won’t have to eat vegan pizza for lunch, that would cause me pain.”</p>
<p>“Vegan food isn’t that bad, I’ve tried it with Har-,” Louis says but stops in the middle of the sentence. “I’ve tried it.”</p>
<p>“I haven’t yet,” Rob says. “We’re going to a typical German place.”</p>
<p>“It’s nice that we always try out traditional food everywhere we go,” Niall says. “I love German sausages so much. Also, their beer is the best. I can’t wait to drink it again.”</p>
<p>“Do you remember when we were at that huge Bavarian place in Munich?” Zayn asks.</p>
<p>“The “Hofbräuhaus”?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, exactly this one. I can’t pronounce it properly but I loved the sausages we ate there. Also, the salads were great.”</p>
<p>“I loved the food too and also the beer. It really was special,” Liam adds. “Niall drank so much that he couldn’t walk straight afterwards and we had to nearly carry him out of there.” He laughs and pats Niall’s back. “That was fun.”</p>
<p>Niall rolls his eyes. “Well, at first it was fun but then I didn’t have fun in the bathroom.” He makes some gagging noises and everyone laughs.</p>
<p>“I don’t think that will happen today since I’m with you,” Rob says and grins. “I’m also excited for the beer. I’ve never tried real German beer in Germany.”</p>
<p>“What a pity that I’m the driver,” Jeremy mumbles.</p>
<p>“I’ll buy one for you so you can drink it later.”</p>
<p>“Oh, that’s a nice idea. Deal?”</p>
<p>Rob nods. “Deal.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The next day, Louis wakes by quiet noises he can’t really identify. He rubs his eyes and turns around, squinting. “Harry?” he says slowly as he notices a tall figure standing near the bed next to him. His eyes are still heavy, full with sleep and still he can’t see properly.</p>
<p>“Good morning, sleepy,” Harry says in a friendly tone and flops down on his side.</p>
<p>“How long have you been here?”</p>
<p>“Two hours or so. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you up.”</p>
<p>Louis yawns. “Were you in the room all the time?” Of course, Harry is in his sportwear.</p>
<p>“No. I went for a run and came back maybe fifteen minutes ago.”</p>
<p>“You’re such a morning person,” Louis moans. His eyes still feel heavy so he closes them again. “Let me sleep for a few more minutes,” he mumbles and pulls the covers up. “I’m so tired.”</p>
<p>“I’ll be around the corner, sleep well.”</p>
<p>“Hmm,” Louis mumbles and listens to Harry’s footsteps fading as he walks out of the room.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“I slept so well,” Louis tells Harry as he stretches himself and walks toward the sofa Harry is sat on. He sits down at the other end and covers himself with the blanket that’s put on the backrest. He leans his head onto the backrest and closes his eyes again.</p>
<p>“You remind me of those animals that sleep their lives away.”</p>
<p>Louis opens his eyes again. “Well, I wouldn’t deny that. Beds are my favourite places.” He pauses. “How was your work?”</p>
<p>“Stressful, to be honest. I had two castings the day before yesterday in London and Milan, then I flew to Amsterdam for a job that lasted until 2am this morning. I took the earliest flight to Berlin and arrived here around seven.” Harry pushes his long curls back.</p>
<p>“So, you want to tell me you took the earliest flight to Berlin after all that travelling and still you were able to work out this morning?”</p>
<p>Harry shrugs. “Yeah.”</p>
<p>Louis frowns. “You’re a robot or an alien, no way you’re human.”</p>
<p>A small laugh escapes Harry’s mouth. “I don’t know why I’m like this. I guess I’ll be dead tonight after clubbing. Are you looking forward to it?”</p>
<p>“Well, maybe a little bit. I haven’t been in a club for a long time and since we’ll be together with the others it might be actual fun.”</p>
<p>“Thank God you don’t have to be with me only, hm?” Harry chuckles as he looks at Louis.</p>
<p>Louis shrugs. “Well . . . I-,”</p>
<p>“It’s okay. I know you’re not too fond of me. I’m looking forward to it but the best part of the night will be your concert.”</p>
<p>“You’re so obsessed.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you like that I enjoy your music?”</p>
<p>“I don’t really mind.”</p>
<p>“Stop playing the cool.”</p>
<p>“I’m not playing anything. I just don’t mind if you’re there or not or if you like the music or not.”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a smile. “I think you’re a good person although you keep playing this cat and mouse game with me.”</p>
<p>Louis frowns. “Cat and mouse game?”</p>
<p>“One minute you’re nice to me, then you pretend to not giving a fuck.” Harry takes an apple from the bowl on the glass table next to him and takes a bite.</p>
<p>“I’m like that.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think so.”</p>
<p>“Who says that? Your brilliant knowledge of human nature?”</p>
<p>“Yes, exactly. I know this is not your real personality so until you’re ready to show me your real self we have to pretend.”</p>
<p>“Pretend what?”</p>
<p>“Whatever is necessary.”</p>
<p>“Can we stop talking about this?”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Harry nods. “Have you also gotten that Email from Mr. Sia with the location of the shops we’ll go to later?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. At least the shops are cool but I’m a little bit afraid that there will be too many people since the paparazzi usually cause a mess.”</p>
<p>“Rob and Ben will be there, won’t they?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“They’re doing a great job. I feel safe around them.”</p>
<p>“They are really doing a great job.” Louis looks at his phone. “Jeremy has messaged. He’s going to pick us up in about one hour. I’ll get a shower now and then I’ll order breakfast. What about you?”</p>
<p>“No thank you, I’ve already had breakfast.”</p>
<p>“So, I’ll have breakfast on my own.”</p>
<p>“You don’t enjoy my company excessively anyway so . . . I don’t think it will be a problem for you.” Harry’s voice is low, friendly, not judging.</p>
<p>“Stop talking shit,” Louis grunts as he walks away. Harry just smiles to himself and shakes his head. He continues reading while Louis jumps under the shower quickly.</p>
<p>After showering Louis orders a typical German breakfast for himself which contains four different kind of rolls, two slices of whole grain bread, a cooked egg, mini versions of strawberry and apricot jam, Nutella, cream cheese and butter. Also, there’s some ham, salami and other variations of cheese put on the plate that’s garnished with some salad, pieces of cucumber and tomato slices. A huge mug of coffee comes with the breakfast as well as a small glass of orange juice. Louis puts everything on the table and starts eating immediately.</p>
<p>“You eat as if you hadn’t had anything in weeks,” Harry remarks amused.</p>
<p>“Jealous?” Louis says with his mouth full and rises his eyebrows.</p>
<p>Harry laughs. “No, definitely not. I had a great, healthy breakfast this morning.”</p>
<p>Louis butters his roll and puts some salami onto it. “What did you eat? A bread crumb with avocado?” He takes a bite and chews. “Disgusting. You probably drank some wheatgrass juice with it or something like that. Ugh.”</p>
<p>“Not bad. I actually had avocado with eggs and spring onions on a solid sandwich. I don’t like wheatgrass. I prefer a strong coffee with a splash of milk for breakfast. Your guess wasn’t so bad, Mr. Sassy.”</p>
<p>“Touché!” Louis laughs and takes another bite. “You calling me Mr. Sassy is quite extra, Harold, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>“You are quite extra so I think that name fits perfectly.”</p>
<p>“Well yeah, you might be right. Not bad, Harold, not bad.” Harry laughs out quietly. “Do you want a roll or something? I’m full.”</p>
<p>“You? Full? How can I believe that since you love food more than anything?”</p>
<p>“I almost can’t believe it myself but yeah, you can have the rest if you want.”</p>
<p>“How come that you didn’t eat Nutella? I would have thought you liked that the most.”</p>
<p>“I usually do but today I don’t want it but I guess you won’t eat it either, will you?”</p>
<p>“I love Nutella! Why shouldn’t I?”</p>
<p>Louis points at Harry with both hands. “Because of your body maybe? Or because of your excessive healthy lifestyle? There are more than two reasons, probably.”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t mean I can’t allow myself that from time to time. I’m not that restricted as you think.” Harry takes a roll, cuts it into two pieces and puts Nutella onto one side. “Surely, I do eat healthy but since I work out a few hours per day, it’s not a problem. God, I love how it spreads, look at this.” Harry holds his roll up to look at it from all sides. Then he takes a huge bite. “That’s better than anything,” Harry says with his mouth full, “absolutely amazing.”</p>
<p>“You’re talking with your mouth full? How could that happen?”</p>
<p>“What’s that question like? Are you serious?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I mean it. Your perfect façade begins to crumble slowly.”</p>
<p>Suddenly, Harry’s face gets serious. “Could you please stop this?”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“The whole I’m-going-to-respond-sarcastically-to-every-second-sentence” attitude. Stop calling me perfect. Stop saying things that aren’t true. If you want to get to know me better you can ask me but if you just want to annoy me and make silly jokes about my job or about my person, please leave me be.”</p>
<p>Louis stares dumbfounded at Harry. It’s so quiet in the room that you could hear a pin drop. Louis wasn’t expecting Harry to fire back like he did. He feels incredibly stupid and if he could, he would sink into the ground immediately but it’s not only that. Harry’s tone kind of hurt him unexpectedly what Louis can’t explain to himself logically at this moment so he just stares at the table top, still in shock. Somehow, Harry’s words have affected him more than he would thought it was possible. The burning feeling in his guts gets more and more uncomfortable.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Louis says in a meek tone. He looks up for maybe a second but he can’t look Harry in the eyes. He’s embarrassed. It’s clear that he has gone too far because of Harry’s tone but the words just tumbled out of his mouth. He would like to take the words back.</p>
<p>“Maybe you do that because you think you have to compete with me in some way. It’s not necessary.” Louis stays quiet. “Might that be a reason why you’ve been doing this?” There’s no anger in Harry’s voice right now. It sounds warm, even soothing. Maybe Zayn and the others were right with their opinion on Harry. Maybe Louis just couldn’t see it . . . well, maybe he didn’t want to see it. Louis just presses his lips together and shrugs without looking up. He doesn’t dare looking Harry in the eyes, still. “You don’t have to compete with me, Louis. You’re unique in your own way. We both have different talents, different worlds we live in but right now we’re in the same situation. None of us has to be better than the other one. It’s enough for us to be ourselves, okay?”</p>
<p>“Okay,” is the only thing that comes out of his mouth, almost as a whisper. “Sorry,” he mumbles again. The queasy feeling in his stomach doesn’t want to go away. It confuses Louis and he doesn’t really know what has happened during the last minutes. Harry continues eating his roll while Louis just sits there awkwardly and looks out of the windows. After Harry has finished eating, he puts the empty plates onto the silver tray they’ve been served on and pushes it aside. He sits down next to Louis and touches his back gently.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Harry says, “where is the funny Louis? You can bring him back, you know?” He rubs Louis’ back for a second, then pulls back.</p>
<p>“Aren’t you mad at me?”</p>
<p>“Me? Mad at you? Maybe a little bit – but not about that.”</p>
<p>Louis sighs. “About what then?”</p>
<p>“Well . . . I remember a certain bet and someone mentioning a massage but . . . somehow this hasn’t worked out so far,” Harry says with a wink. His smile is lovely and makes Louis feel a little better.</p>
<p>“Oh . . . shit, I forgot about that.”</p>
<p>“It’s alright, don’t worry. You can redeem your betting depts whenever you want.”</p>
<p>“I will.” Louis pauses. “Sorry for all the shit I’ve said to you,” he adds. “I’ve been quite unfriendly to you most of the time.”</p>
<p>“And sarcastic.”</p>
<p>“And sarcastic,” Louis repeats thoughtfully.</p>
<p>“I’m not a resentful person, after all.”</p>
<p>“Lucky me. I sometimes am.”</p>
<p>Harry shakes his head. “Louis, Louis, Louis . . . you should be more relaxed.”</p>
<p>“I would be if I wasn’t caught in all this, probably.”</p>
<p>“But it’s not only you.” Harry waves at Louis with his right hand and points at himself when he looks at him. “It’s also me and I would like to have a decent time with you.” Louis sighs. “Once you stop seeing me as your mortal enemy, we’ll be fine. Oh fuck – shouldn’t we get ready? Look at the clock!” Louis chuckles. “What?” Harry says loudly, “it’s already late!”</p>
<p>Louis laughs. “Sorry but . . . you said fuck and I swear I thought you were that kind of person who would never swear but now that I heard you-,”</p>
<p>“Mind your words!” Harry fake threatens Louis with his finger up in the air.</p>
<p>Louis grabs Harry’s wrist and takes his hand down. “But now that I heard you, I think you’re quite good at it! Well done!” He lets go of his wrist and gives Harry a playful nudge.</p>
<p>“At least I got a praise from you,” Harry smiles.</p>
<p>“You might not have thought it but even I’m teachable.”</p>
<p>“Sometimes,” Harry and Louis say unison what makes both of them laugh.</p>
<p>“We should get dressed.”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Oh, and . . . I promise to behave better from now on.”</p>
<p>Harry clears his voice as he picks up a dirty napkin from the floor. “I’m afraid to tell you that you’re not really improving,” he says as he holds the napkin up provocatively.</p>
<p>Louis smiles as sweetly as he can. “The first steps are always the hardest, aren’t they?”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Four hours later, Louis and Harry come back to the hotel. The bags they are carrying are full with new clothes they bought during their stunt. “This was good but I don’t want to do something like that ever again,” Louis moans as he lets himself fall onto the bed, spread-eagled. “It was too much, the people, the paparazzi, the flashes, the yelling, everything. I thought we’d never be able to leave the second shop again.”</p>
<p>Harry sits down on the bed, pulling off his shoes. “Mr. Sia told me they would close the shops for us but obviously that was only planned for the Apple store? Maybe I got it wrong. I was so scared when I noticed how many people were in the shop.” He lays down on his back. “I feel like I’ve accomplished a marathon.” He blows air through his lips and crosses his arms behind his head.</p>
<p>“Totally. How could they let all those people in? That was insane.”</p>
<p>“Now I know how the fans must feel when they’re standing in front of the stage, probably it’s a similar feeling.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I’ve been in similar situations like this before but it has never been that intensive and even dangerous. Rob and Ben had such difficulties to guide us through, I think they were also overwhelmed and not informed properly.” Louis lets air flow through his lips. “Sia is such an asshole. I’m sure that was planned by him.”</p>
<p>“You don’t know that, Louis. Something might have gotten out of hand.”</p>
<p>“I know that, Harry. He’s an asshole, end of discussion. That’s who he is and I wonder why you call him Mr. Sia. That’s too nice for someone who would literally walk over dead bodies for money.”</p>
<p>“Don’t say such things.”</p>
<p>“It’s true. The music business is fucked up, totally fucked up. Maybe your business is different but trust me, I’ve seen and heard things you would never believe. There are famous singers who are gay and they had to pretend having a baby with a woman because they were supposed to be married! At least in my case, they don’t want me to play the straight guy but also just because I outed myself and they didn’t have any chance than react.”</p>
<p>“Sounds like the baby thing is much worse than our job.”</p>
<p>“Still, ours is shitty. Why do people have to pretend something for a public image? Instead of letting people be people they want us to be some perfect role models.”</p>
<p>“I guess people have enough issues to deal with so in their free time they want to relax and not be confronted with imperfection. People probably want those clean images, who knows. Many of them are aware the business is fake – it’s like the clothes I’m presenting. Some of them aren’t wearable but still they’re important for the fashion industry who supports certain designers because their clothes carry something that’s referring to people’s interests. It’s also kind of fake and it’s a show and still people are interested in it. It’s something that’s not usual in people’s lives and yeah, I guess it’s the same in your business.”</p>
<p>“Maybe. Still it’s a weird thought for me.”</p>
<p>“That’s okay. You’re allowed to have your own opinion - as long as you don’t make me responsible for it, you can complain as much as you want.”</p>
<p>“I promised to behave better,” Louis says and gives Harry a small smile.</p>
<p>“Isn’t it nice to just rest and do nothing?” Harry asks after a while.</p>
<p>“It is. I feel a little sleepy.”</p>
<p>“Then sleep. It’s probably the best you can do since we’ll probably come back here in the morning hours.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0029"><h2>29. CLUBBING</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the evening, Harry is at the venue again. When the intro of the show starts, he walks to the VIP area that’s close to the stage but also in the middle of the fans. He doesn’t want to draw attention to himself since he’s not working that evening and he thought for that it would be better going there when everyone was busy paying attention to the intro. Rob and some other crew members who don’t have to work during the show are there with him. When the venue is dark, it’s actually hard to spot exactly who is standing in that area but when the lights are bright, everyone could be seen, theoretically. Since Harry is close to the fans this time, it doesn’t take long until some of them spot him and try to get his attention. They shout his name, take pictures of him and wave toward him although One Direction are on stage. Harry isn’t used to that kind of attention because he’s not that known except in the fashion industry that normally doesn’t include the audience that attends pop concerts. Harry tries to ignore the fans at first since he doesn’t want to draw more attention to himself but after a while, he waves back and smiles at the girls. He doesn’t want them to think he is unfriendly or that he ignores them willingly.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>After the show, everyone gets ready for clubbing and Sophie tells Harry and Louis some details about their stunt. Louis bites his tongue all the time during her speech what bothers him obviously but he manages to just stare at her without answering back and at least look somewhat attentive. At some point Harry gives him a small smile and a nod since he has clearly noticed Louis’ effort. “That was very professional,” Harry tells Louis after Sophie has left the room, “though I could feel how uncomfortable you were all the time. You were on the verge of saying something inappropriate to her all the time, right?” He chuckles. “But you didn’t, that was really cool.”</p>
<p>“I wasn’t sure for how long I could manage to stay silent. She talked to us as if we were stupid. Can’t stand her voice at all.”</p>
<p>“She’s just-,”</p>
<p>“Doing her job. I know. Let’s not talk about her anymore, please.”</p>
<p>“Not a problem. You look cool in that outfit, I like it.”</p>
<p>“Compared to you I look like shit.”</p>
<p>“Idiot. You look fabulous. Are you ready to go?”</p>
<p>“I am. I’m sure the others are already waiting . . . I’m always a little late.”</p>
<p>“I’ve figured,” Harry says and earns a playful swat from Louis. They walk out of the dressing room to meet everyone else at the meeting point near the backstage entrance. Some crew members are already there, also Niall, Zayn and Liam. Everyone is in a good mood and Louis almost forgets about the fact that this is a stunt. Jeremy parks his huge van in front of the main backstage entrance and tells Harry and Louis to get in first since they are going to be photographed, as it’s planned.</p>
<p>“Are you nervous?” Jeremy asks while he drives Harry and Louis to the VIP entrance that’s a few meters away from the main one where everyone else has already gotten off the car.</p>
<p>“Not really,” Harry says.</p>
<p>“And what about you?”</p>
<p>“No, I’m not nervous. I just hope the music will be good,” Louis says, looking out of the window.</p>
<p>“I’m sure it will be good. It’s one of the coolest clubs here in Berlin . . . at least I’ve heard that,” Jeremy tells Louis.</p>
<p>“We’ll see,” Louis replies. “If you ask me, I’d rather be in my bed right now.”</p>
<p>“Oh, come on! You’ve been sleeping like a sloth today! That’s just impossible!”</p>
<p>“So what? I love being in bed, especially after an exhausting show.”</p>
<p>Harry shakes his head. “You’re weird.”</p>
<p>“Weird? I’d say I’m pretty normal.”</p>
<p>“Pretty normal? You’re in your twenties! You should turn your nights into days!”</p>
<p>“But not after an exhausting show! This is not walking down the runway!”</p>
<p>“Heyyy! There are very exhausting and difficult runways out there.”</p>
<p>Louis just shakes his head and rolls his eyes playfully. “As if.”</p>
<p>Rob turns around to face Harry and Louis. “Sorry guys . . . but are you done discussing? The paparazzi are waiting.” The car has already stopped.</p>
<p>“My sister never believed that paparazzi could be hired,” Harry says.</p>
<p>“Because it sounds ridiculous like this whole business is. Fucked up.”</p>
<p>“Hey sleepy . . . you wanted to be nicer, remember? We’ll walk in, have some drinks and a fun night.”</p>
<p>“Sleepy,” Louis chuckles. “Okay, okay, I’ll try my best to be nice. I’m glad you didn’t call me slothie or something.” Louis fakes a smile that makes Harry laugh.</p>
<p>“Remember what you promised.”</p>
<p>“I haven’t promised anything.”</p>
<p>“You promised to behave. It’s your second chance now.”</p>
<p>Louis rolls his eyes playfully and holds his hands up. “Okay, okay, I’ll be nice.”</p>
<p>“Perfect.”</p>
<p>“Okay guys, are you ready?” Rob asks as he opens his seat belt. “I hope you two don’t mind me interrupting your amusing banter but it’s really about time to leave the nest now.”</p>
<p>“We can go,” Harry says.</p>
<p>Rob nods and gets out of the car to open the door for Harry and Louis. The paparazzi have already started taking pictures although the doors were closed. As usual they’re shouting things Harry and Louis can’t quite understand because the noise surrounding them is too loud. The flashes make it almost impossible to find the way to the entrance for them, so Rob helps them to get inside and leads them to the VIP area quickly that’s located in the back of the club where the others already are. “I nearly tripped outside,” Harry says, “I couldn’t see anything because of the flashes.”</p>
<p>“Thanks to Rob we made it,” Louis says amused and lays his arm around the bodyguard.</p>
<p>“Always,” Rob answers amused and pats Louis back.</p>
<p>“Do you want a drink?”</p>
<p>“I’m working so no drinks for me, except for non-alcoholic ones.”</p>
<p>“I’ll invite you all for the first drink,” Harry says and everyone around him cheers. “Choose whatever you want.”</p>
<p>“You’re still a suck-up, Styles,” Louis says with a playful smile.</p>
<p>“Fuck you,” Harry whispers into Louis’ ear and for a second, Louis can feel Harry’s warm breath against his skin.</p>
<p>“Well said, Harold, well said,” Louis says acknowledging and gives Harry a fist bump.</p>
<p>In that second, a waitress comes over and everyone orders their drinks. After everyone has gotten a glass, everyone stands in a circle and drink a toast to the show and the night.</p>
<p>The beat of the music is addicting and it doesn’t take long until everyone is dancing and singing along. The atmosphere in the club is a good one and the DJ who is booked for that night plays funky music that puts everyone in a great party mood. Louis moves to the beat as he’s watching the people in front of him going crazy on the dancefloor. The atmosphere is capturing and absolutely amazing that Louis forgets why he’s actually here. All in all, he has a good time. As he gets hungry, Louis orders a double beef burger with extra cheese and fries for himself and Harry gets a small mixed salad and a toasted chicken sandwich. The night goes on like this and nobody worries about anything. Around two in the morning, Jeremy drives everyone back to the hotel.</p>
<p>During the drive, Louis starts feeling a slight pain in his stomach and he can’t ignore the feeling of sickness creeping up slowly. Louis leans his head against the window and closes his eyes for the rest of the ride. He tries to breathe the feeling away but it’s not working. His state isn’t unbearable but also worse enough that he just wants to lay down in his bed and sleep. In their room, Harry quickly gets ready for bed. When he flops down with his book, Louis gets up to grab his shirt. He moves slowly because his state has gotten worse during the last few minutes but he didn’t tell anyone. He feels so unwell, so fucking unwell as he walks toward the door in what feels for him slow motion. Louis can’t hide a quiet moan because nausea is torturing him, accompanied by the pain in his tummy. The sound comes out just like that, without warning and it makes it easier for one second.</p>
<p>Harry looks up from his book. “Is everything okay?”</p>
<p>Louis feels a little embarrassed but telling Harry everything was fine wouldn’t help either because he can’t behave normally anyway even if he wanted. “My stomach hurts and I feel sick.” He speaks so quietly that he isn’t even sure if he said the words aloud. Harry puts his book away and gets up from his bed. He walks over to Louis and touches his forehead to check if he has a temperature. “You don’t have a temperature at least,” he says. “Do you want me to get you some camomile tea? That could help a little bit to calm your stomach.”</p>
<p>Louis nods as he’s creeping into the bathroom. He would drink everything if it helped. For a second, he considers kneeling over the toilet but he wants to avoid puking at every cost. Louis washes his face, brushes his teeth and walks back to the bedroom quickly. The moment he lays down in his bed is kind of relieving. His stomach ache is more intense now and Louis tries to breathe the pain away but it’s not working. “Fuck,” he mumbles and presses his hands against his tummy. He inhales and exhales audibly, then whimpers to ease the pain but nothing really helps.</p>
<p>A few minutes later, Harry comes back. “Louis?” he says quietly. Louis opens his eyes and looks at Harry who is sitting on the bed beside him. Was he sleeping? Maybe it’s just the pain. He has put a cup onto the bedside table and touches Louis’ shoulder. “Drink it hot, okay?”</p>
<p>Louis sits up in his bed in slow motion. He leans his head back against the wall and closes his eyes for some seconds. “Here,” Harry says and hands Louis the hot cup. Louis takes the cup from Harry and takes a little sip, then puts it down and closes his eyes again. “I feel so sick,” he breathes. There’s no energy left in his body, not a tiny bit.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Harry says quietly and rubs Louis’ shoulder. “Drink a little bit more tea and then try to sleep.” Harry gets up from the bed. Louis forces himself to take a few more sips, then he places the cup onto the bedside table and lays down again. He would give everything to just fall asleep immediately. “I’ll look after you in a few,” Harry tells him, then walks away. After a while, Harry lays down in his bed, too. Louis turns around to face him. “Do you feel a little bit better?” Louis shakes his head no and then he can feel a tear running down his cheek without him wanting it. He just feels miserable and his body reacts. Under the covers, Louis has put his hands on his tummy and squeezes it. “What are you doing? Are you squishing your tummy?! Don’t do that, please!” Louis stops but stays quiet. “I’ll ask for a hot water bottle at the reception. Maybe they have one.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Louis whispers.</p>
<p>Harry leaves and comes back after a few minutes. “They don’t have one, I’m sorry but . . . if you want, I could put my hand on your tummy? My hands are always warm.” Louis nods as he squeezes his eyes shut in pain again. He would do anything to make it stop and maybe that might help, at least a tiny bit. Harry scoots a little bit closer and puts his left hand onto Louis’ tummy under the covers. He lets it lay there for a while so that the warmth spreads quickly. It doesn’t make the pain go away but somehow it makes it more bearable and to Louis’ surprise, it even feels nice. “My mum always did that to me when I was little.” Harry adjusts his hand a few times but after a while, he pulls away and falls asleep. Louis can’t fall asleep at all. His state drives him crazy. The combination of feeling sick and the stomach pain is indescribable in the most terrible way. He tosses and turns around in his bed but nothing changes. His stomach hurts and he has been feeling the urge to puke for a while but he wanted to avoid it at all cost. Still, he wants to hold back but at some point, he can’t take it anymore so Louis decides to go to the bathroom. He kneels down in front of the toilet and squeezes his eyes shut as he empties his stomach against his will. When it’s done, Louis rinses his mouth with water and brushes his teeth to get rid of the unpleasant taste. He feels much better as he walks back to the bedroom.</p>
<p>Harry stirs slowly in his bed as Louis taps around in the dark. “Louis?”</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Do you feel better now?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but it was disgusting. Sorry for waking you up.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about that. I’m glad you’ll be able to sleep now. Tomorrow everything will be okay, I’m sure.”</p>
<p>“I hope so.” Louis gets under the covers and looks at Harry for a moment. The moonlight and the street lamps are illuminating the room a little bit. Harry looks adorable, sleepy as he is.</p>
<p>“Why are you looking at me?”</p>
<p>“Is that a crime?”</p>
<p>“No but . . . well, I don’t mind.” Harry gives Louis a small smile. “You even look cute when you’re not pissed.” With these words he turns around and wishes Louis goodnight.</p>
<p>In the morning, Harry’s bed is already made and his luggage isn’t there anymore. On the bed next to him, Louis finds a little note.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Hi Sleepy! :) I enjoyed my stay this time and can’t wait for the next concert in Barcelona. As you know, it’s always a pleasure to listen to your voice live. See you in a few days.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Love, Harry</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. DAYS OFF</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the band played two more concerts in Germany and two in Italy, Louis arrives home in London. He only throws his luggage into his bedroom, then leaves for his mum’s house. He spends the late afternoon and evening with his mum and siblings and stays over for a night. The next morning, his beloved grandparents join the family for breakfast. For the first time in weeks, Louis feels that he calms down from everything and he feels relaxed after the stressful weeks on tour. After breakfast, he plays with his two little siblings before they all have a walk through the nearby forest and stop at a lovely wooden playground near the village. It’s a windy November morning but Louis doesn’t mind. At least it’s not raining so the family stays outside until lunchtime. His mum Jay cooks one of Louis’ favourite dishes he missed on tour: a delicious shepherd’s pie. After helping his mum with the dishes, everyone gathers around the huge kitchen table for a board game and that’s how the family spends the rest of the afternoon.</p>
<p>In the evening, they sit together in the cosy living room. His family means everything to Louis and he really feels at ease. The feeling of not having any obligations or appointments is wonderful – if not one of the best feelings in the world. After dinner, Louis insists on bring his little siblings to bed. He ready them a good night story while the girl and the boy are cuddled up against their big brother. Later, Louis says goodbye to his family and drives to Matt’s house that’s only about twenty minutes away.</p>
<p>Louis’ heart jumps when Matt opens the door to his small flat. He looks great with his grown, blonde hair and caramel eyes and his outfit is so cuddly that Louis just wants to hug him immediately. Then he wraps his arms around Matt’s waist and they kiss, and kiss and kiss. “It feels so good to see you,” Matt says as they walk into the kitchen hand in hand. He stops and gives Louis another kiss. “I missed you so much, Lou.”</p>
<p>“I missed you too. Too often I wished you were on tour with me but the more I’m glad that we’re together now.” Louis wraps his arms around Matt’s hips again to pull him close. They look each other in the eyes before Louis leans in and kisses Matt again.</p>
<p>“You’re pretty addictive,” Matt smiles, his forehead pressed against Louis’ as he’s looking deeply into his eyes.</p>
<p>“So are you,” Louis smiles. “I nearly forgot how it felt to kiss you after all those weeks.”</p>
<p>“I’ll make you remember as much as you want.” Matt cups Louis’ face into his hands and gives him another kiss. When Matt pulls away, Louis licks his lips and grins as he bites his lower lip. Matt smiles. “Does it work?”</p>
<p>“Perfectly. Imagine there are people who kiss without tongue.”</p>
<p>Matt frowns. “Weird.”</p>
<p>Louis follows Matt into the kitchen where he gets two mugs out of the cupboard near the window. “It’s been too long,” Matt says, filling the kettle with water. “Are there any news about visiting you on tour?”</p>
<p>Louis sits down on a chair and folds his hands. “No, I haven’t asked Sia again after last time. I don’t think he’ll allow it – at least not now. He’s not the type of guy who changes his opinion just because people have feelings for each other.” Louis takes a cookie out of the jar that’s put in the middle of the table. “He’s probably never had a proper relationship since his heart is ice-cold and only beating for money.”</p>
<p>Matt leans against the kitchen counter. “I don’t understand what the problem is. I was at your first show in Manchester too.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, with my family and among other friends.”</p>
<p>“I don’t really get that.”</p>
<p>“Because it’s easier when there are more people. If someone saw you, they wouldn’t assume you were my boyfriend. That was an exception. Sia doesn’t want anyone to think I could have a boyfriend, at least until the stunt thing comes to an end.” He takes another bite of his cookie.</p>
<p>“What a fucked-up business that is.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s fucked-up,” Louis says with his mouth full.</p>
<p>Matt puts two bags of tea into the mugs and puts Louis’ in front of him. “Do you like the cookies?”</p>
<p>“They’re amazing.”</p>
<p>“I made them myself,” Matt says proudly.</p>
<p>Louis’ eyes widen. “How did you manage to not burn them?” He looks at his cookie, turning it around a few times. “They’re perfect!”</p>
<p>“Well . . . I should probably tell you that Riley helped me,” Matt admits with a shy smile, “but she only told me what to do – I really made them myself!”</p>
<p>“Ah, that’s the secret behind these little baked wonders.” Louis looks at the cookie again, then shoves it into his mouth. “Good job though. If you want, we can bake some together next time.”</p>
<p>“We could try that, yeah and then we should invite Riley to judge our baking skills.”</p>
<p>“She’d love that.”</p>
<p>“Sure, she would.” Matt takes a sip of his tea and takes a cookie too. They stay in the kitchen for a while, talking and eating cookies. Then they move to the sofa.</p>
<p>Louis just nods and they get up, taking their mugs with them. He sits down in one corner of the sofa and Matt nuzzles close to him. “These are the moments I miss the most,” Matt says while Louis has wrapped his arms around him, caressing Matt’s back with his hand gently. “Just being close to you like this and I’m so happy that you’re here with me, really happy. It seems like all my worries are gone.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> “Oh, I’m glad about the worries. You know I love cuddling so trust me when I say that I also missed this.” He leans his head back against the pillow and closes his eyes. “Nothing in the world can make me feel like you do.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Matt sighs. They stay like this for half an hour until both of them nearly fall asleep.</p>
<p>“We should go to bed,” Louis says quietly. “You seem to be tired too.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Matt yawns, “it was a busy week for me, too.”</p>
<p>“Let’s go then, I love being in bed with you,” he almost whispers as he leans in for a passionate kiss. “I’m not sure if I should tell you that I didn’t only miss the cuddles.”</p>
<p>Matt grins as he presses his body against to Louis’. He kisses him slowly, then wraps his hands around Louis’ waist and lets them slide to his bum. He squeezes it and smiles against Louis’ mouth. “What else did you miss?” Matt teases. Suddenly, Louis isn’t tired anymore. “Don’t you think I should help you to remember?”</p>
<p>Louis bites his lower lip and nods. “Please.”</p>
<p>“I love your innocent look Lou but . . . I guess you’ll lose that one in a few seconds.”</p>
<p>And with these words Matt presses against the wall and goes down in front of him.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>In the morning, Matt and Louis stay in bed for a long time, cuddled up against each other. Louis presses his body against his boyfriend who wraps his arms around him, making him feel safe and loved. “I love that so much,” Louis mumbles as he feels Matt kissing his neck softly.</p>
<p>“It’s the best feeling in the world,” Matt responds with his lips still close to Louis’ neck. “Besides your blowjobs, of course” he chuckles and Louis does too. “You feel so warm in the morning.”</p>
<p>“Like you. I wish I wouldn’t have to leave today.”</p>
<p>“We still have some time, don’t talk now,” Matt says. “I just want to enjoy having you here.”</p>
<p>“Being lazy is the best thing,” Louis says after a while, “especially with you.” He traces Matt’s face with his thumb, looking into his eyes. Matt smiles but stays quiet. “I need to convince Sia to let you visit me on tour, definitely.”</p>
<p>“It’s so weird that he doesn’t want me to visit. Why? Still I don’t understand. I mean you’ve told me but-,”</p>
<p>“Because of the same stupid reasons, I told you yesterday.”</p>
<p>“But you could still stunt while I’d wait for you in the hotel room or at the venue?”</p>
<p>Louis turns onto his back, crossing his arms behind his head. “It’s not that. Sia just doesn’t want you to come since someone could see us together and think we’re actually together. I’m sure we could easily manage to hide but he’s paranoid when he comes to his brilliant, fucked-up idea.”</p>
<p>“Obviously. Call me stupid but still, I don’t get it.”</p>
<p>“It would be easier for you to just accept the circumstances than torturing you with the details.” Funny, Louis thinks to himself, since Harry had been talking Louis into accepting the stunt for days and now, Louis is telling Matt the same although he knows how difficult the situation is for him. Louis still hasn’t accepted the stunt to a full extend but he definitely deals better with it than before.</p>
<p>“It’s not that easy for me. I lay here every night, thinking about you and what you might do while I’m here.”</p>
<p>“Do you think I’m cheating on you?”</p>
<p>“No, I . . . no.” Matt covers his face. “I don’t know what I think.”</p>
<p>“You can be honest with me.”</p>
<p>“Well . . . yes. I’m afraid that you might cheat on me,” Matt admits. “Or forget about me . . . sorry . . . it sounds so stupid but yes, I think that sometimes and it drives me crazy.”</p>
<p>“Hey,” Louis says softly as he turns toward his boyfriend. “I’m not cheating on you. It’s just a stunt. I’m not myself in this, I’m . . . well . . . maybe more like an actor. I mean people in the movies kiss for example but they don’t love each other in real life so it doesn’t make them a couple.”</p>
<p>“Does Harry know that too?”</p>
<p>“What exactly?”</p>
<p>“The actor thing.”</p>
<p>“Oh yes, definitely He’s the one telling me that it’s just a job all the time. Plus, I think Harry has a girlfriend anyway.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure?”</p>
<p>“I haven’t asked him but I heard him talking to a girl on the phone and his voice gave him away.”</p>
<p>“Hm.”</p>
<p>Louis scoots closer to Matt and pulls him close. “You’re my boyfriend and I only want to be with you. Let’s not talk about Harry now, please.” Matt only sighs but nuzzles closer to Louis who caresses his back softly. “If you want, I can tell you a little bit more about the stunt and what’s behind it. Would you feel better if you knew?”</p>
<p>“I think so,” Matt says and pulls away a little. “Although I’d rather not know too many details but that is also not working . . . whatever, tell me.”</p>
<p>“The plan is that Harry and I should look like we’re having a good time together, that we’re friends or something like that to make up for me flipping him off. The main reason behind this is that after a while people should believe or speculate about us being together. Sia doesn’t want me to be seen with you or any other guy because if people thought I wasn’t with Harry or we’d be on bad terms the whole stunt wouldn’t be expedient and he would have wasted a huge amount of money for nothing.”</p>
<p>Matt sits up in bed. “Together? Like . . . as a couple?”</p>
<p>“Yeah but we’re supposed to pretend only.”</p>
<p>“Wait I . . . I thought you were only going out and to certain shows with him. You didn’t tell me about this.”</p>
<p>“That was the reason why I didn’t tell you. I knew you would react like that.”</p>
<p>“Well, how should I react?”</p>
<p>“Please, listen to me first.” Louis takes Matt’s hand in his. “The media and the fans are supposed to believe we’re together but we won’t be. I don’t have feelings for him and I also don’t want to be his friend so there won’t be any danger.” Louis doesn’t want to tell Matt about Harry staying in his room or the planned kisses. He pushes these thoughts aside, knowing it would only add fuel to the fire right now. He wants to tell him when the time is right to do so.</p>
<p>“Do you still hate him?” Matt’s eyes have lost their sparkle but still, they’re soft.</p>
<p>“No, I don’t hate him anymore.” Louis gets up in bed too and touches Matt’s thigh. “Listen . . . you really don’t have to worry about me and him. We’re colleagues, more or less.”</p>
<p>“Still, your feelings toward him might change and then? I don’t want to lose you, Lou.”</p>
<p>“You won’t lose me just because I don’t hate him anymore.”</p>
<p>“Hm.”</p>
<p>“Do you hate Nick?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“See? And are you together with him?”</p>
<p>“No. But Lou-,”</p>
<p>“No buts. He’s your ex and you’re on good terms. I could easily be afraid of you and him getting back together just because you’ve established a friendship, right?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know I mean . . . this is different.”</p>
<p>“How is it different? I’m not here and you could do whatever you want with him and I wouldn’t notice. I’m not with you and you think I would cheat on you with Harry. It’s the same thing.”</p>
<p>Matt stays quiet for a moment. “Well okay . . . maybe you’re right. But you know I wouldn’t cheat on you with him, right? He’s just a friend.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s fine. Harry isn’t even my friend so . . . please, promise that you’ll at least try to worry less.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Matt nods. “I’ll try to. When is that going to end?”</p>
<p>“In January.”</p>
<p>“That’s such a long time.”</p>
<p>“Four months . . . but I promise to visit you as much as I can. At least that’s what I can do when I have days off in between.”</p>
<p>“And we’ll spend the winter holidays together,” Matt says happily. “I’m already counting the days.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Louis says and leans in to give Matt a kiss. He ignores the slight sting in his heart.</p>
<p>“You’re not even gone and I already miss you,” Matt says as he scoots closer to Louis and nuzzles against his body.</p>
<p>Louis wraps his arm around him and caresses his back. “I know the feeling. Promise you won’t worry about us, okay?”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>After some time, Matt sits down in bed and rubs his face. Louis looks at him, then gets up too. He puts his hand onto Matt’s thigh and squeezes it. “Hey, what’s up?”</p>
<p>“Sorry Lou . . .  I . . . I can’t stop thinking of Harry and you. I can’t.”</p>
<p>Louis sighs. “Don’t torture yourself with that, please.”</p>
<p>“Louis, listen to me! I can’t! They talk about you on Twitter, your hashtags are trending, I see the pictures of you and him everywhere – how can I ignore that? It’s just not possible, even if I wanted to.”</p>
<p>“But the pictures and everything are supposed to show up and . . . the more the fans talk about us, the better for the stunt.”</p>
<p>Matt looks at Louis with sad eyes. “The better for the stunt but the absolute worst thing for me. The more I see, the sadder I get. You’re there in control and I’m here, left behind . . . that’s a difference. I get confronted for this every day, every fucking day.” He lays down again and turns his back toward Louis.</p>
<p>Louis looks at Matt’s back for a while. He wants to do something, but he doesn’t know what. He wants to help him, but he doesn’t know how. Louis stays in his place for a few minutes, then he speaks. “Are you mad at me?” he asks eventually.</p>
<p>Matt lets out a loud sigh. “Yes and no. Mostly I’m sad because you don’t understand me.”</p>
<p>“That’s not true.”</p>
<p>Matt turns around to face Louis. “You talk about this as if it was nothing and then you expect me to take it easy but I can’t!”</p>
<p>There’s a pause. “Do you really mean it?” Matt just nods. “You’re wrong,” Louis says. “The stunt and the situation I’m, I mean, we’re in isn’t normal to me, not at all. I’m just trying to deal with it the best way possible. It wasn’t my choice. I have to fulfil Sia’s contract, that’s all. I don’t want you to take it easy, I’ve never said that to you. I just want to make it okay for you so that you don’t have to worry. I’m really sorry that you feel this way.”</p>
<p>“It’s not a nice feeling for me to sit at home while you’re with him.”</p>
<p>“He’s not there all the time and if he is, we’re just working. I don’t know what else to tell you, we’re running in circles.” Louis doesn’t know why but he suddenly thinks of Harry putting his hand over Louis’ tummy when he felt sick. He wanted to help, it was a nice gesture but it didn’t mean anything, did it? Louis pushes these thoughts aside quickly.</p>
<p>“I’m so jealous.”</p>
<p>“I know, love, I know. But tell me, what can I do to help you?”</p>
<p>“I have no idea.”</p>
<p>“I could kiss you now, what about that?” Louis smiles and hovers over his boyfriend.</p>
<p>Matt puts his hand around Louis’ neck to pull him closer. “Please,” he whispers before his lips meet Louis’.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0031"><h2>31. PERSONAL STORIES</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the late afternoon, the band travels to Madrid for their first concert in Spain during this tour. There’s not enough time for anything so Jeremy drives Rob, Ben and the band to the venue immediately after they’ve arrived at the airport. Luckily the catering team offers a buffet with all different kinds of food for everyone so that Louis and his band mates can at least have a proper meal before the show. Everything is quite stressful that day so after the concert, Louis only takes a quick shower before he falls into his bed. In his dreams, Harry yells at Louis about wanting to work with Matt instead of him because Louis had betrayed him by not telling him the whole truth about the stunts. Of course, Sia is sitting next to them in his fancy office chair. The man looks like the devil, grinning maliciously while Harry is still yelling at Louis that he should fuck off and never come back.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Louis wakes up in the middle of the night. It takes him minutes to realise that it was only a dream. He falls asleep again but doesn’t sleep well since he wakes up every other hour. Eventually, he ends up watching the sun rise over Madrid from his bed, washes his face and sends a message to Niall who usually gets up earlier than the others. They meet in the hallway and have breakfast together.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Around lunchtime, the band continues their journey to Barcelona. After checking in at their hotel, the group gives a radio interview at one of the most famous radio stations in the city, followed by a press conference at their hotel. Louis joins his band and crew members for a sightseeing tour after the press conference that takes them all around the city and the hills around Barcelona. It’s a nice day that goes by fast and shortly after Louis has returned to the hotel, he can hear the entrance door opening.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey Louis, I’m back,” Harry says as he steps through the door, “how are you?” He puts his suitcase on the floor, takes his coat and his shoes off.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hey Styles, I’m okay, how are you?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I’m good, thanks. To be honest, I was expecting a welcome like “can’t you knock on the door like normal people do, this is not your room” or “shut the fuck up” but obviously, you’re in a good mood today.” Harry chuckles.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“If you want me to greet you like that you could just come in again and I’ll deliver.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, no,” Harry laughs, “I prefer the nicer version of you. How were your days off?” He carries his suitcase into the bedroom and Louis follows. “Did you see your family?” Harry puts the suitcase on the unused side of the bed, opens it and starts unpacking.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, it was very nice to be at home again and see everyone. I don’t like talking on the phone so much.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I know the feeling. Being there is just different and nothing can replace that. Tell me more about your stay. My days were just busy, I was working non-stop.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Louis sits down on his side of the bed. “I was at my mum’s house first. My grandparents came to visit too and it was really nice with them and my siblings. We’re really close. We cooked food, played games together, took walks, I put my two little siblings to bed in the evening and read them a story . . . I had such a nice time with all of them. I also saw my boyfriend. We hadn’t seen each other since the start of the tour.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“They must miss you a lot.” Harry puts his underwear and shirts into the wardrobe and hangs his trousers onto clothes hangers. Then he closes the doors and puts the suitcase next to it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yeah, especially my little siblings. They love cuddles.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Harry flops down on the bed, then crosses his arms behind his head. “How old are they?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Three, they’re twins. My teenage sisters are fourteen and my big sister is almost twenty.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Cool. It must be fun with so many people in the house.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Most of the time it is, yeah.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What about your dad if you don’t mind me asking?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, I don’t remember him at all. He left my mum when she was pregnant with me and never came back. After that, my mum married Mark, my step-dad, but after some years so he left too but we’re still in touch with him since he’s the father of my siblings.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Like my dad,” Harry sighs. “He left my mum when I was two. Some years ago, he decided to get in touch with me and my sister again but since he has never really cared about us it’s hard for me to establish a good relationship with him. He really tries to make it up to me but it’s hard after so many years.” Harry pauses. “It’s obvious that mostly men leave their family behind. Why? I mean if a relationship goes wrong, why can’t people just care about others when it’s the most important? I don’t understand that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Me neither.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Maybe it’s easier for men to run away in general? It’s often women who are left alone with the kids.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That’s true.” Louis pauses and they both just lay there in silence for a while. “Harry?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hm?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I wanted to thank you for what you did when we were in Berlin.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Oh, you’re welcome. I’m just sorry that I couldn’t really help you though.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You wanted to help and it was nice of you. After all the fucked-up things I had said to you before, you could have easily ignored me.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a friendly smile. “I really like the nice version of you, you know?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Zayn talked to me and told me I should be nicer to you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Harry frowns. “So, you’re only nice to me because Zayn told you so?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, silly. I just needed some time to deal with the shit and I wanted you to know that I’m not that jerk you think I am.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’ll have a lot of time together so maybe one day I can figure that out.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>In that moment, Louis’ phone beeps. He looks at it and lets himself fall down onto his bed again. “Oh wonderful,” he moans.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sophie messaged that she’ll come over in a few and we both know it won’t be just for fun.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Harry chuckles. “This poor woman is just doing her work and you’re treating her as if she was the devil’s right hand or something.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“She basically <em>is</em> the devil’s right hand - she’s Sia’s right hand.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Harry swats Louis arm playfully. “Oh, stop saying that!”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Louis repeats Harry’s movement but gives Harry a mischievous smile. “Stop hitting me, Harold! You’re not behaving really well.” Harry just laughs at Louis’ words but doesn’t respond. “Maybe you’re right and I should be nicer to her,” Louis says quietly, lost in thought.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“It would definitely help.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“We’ll see.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0032"><h2>32. INSTRUCTIONS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Seconds later, there’s a loud knock on the door. Louis groans as he gets up from his bed. “Maybe it’s not her,” Harry says.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“That would be too good to be true,” Louis replies sarcastically as he walks out of the bedroom to open the door. Or course it’s her. Louis lets her in. “Sophie is here,” he says annoyed as he passes the bedroom. He walks toward the big table to take a seat. Harry comes out of the bedroom and greets Sophie in a friendly tone. He sits down at the table too, next to Louis. Sophie positions herself opposite them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“First of all, Mr. Sia called and told me to tell you how professional you two have been so far. The first phase you’ve been through has been the easier one where you were introduced to the people, you got to get to know each other a little better so that you should now be ready for the second phase which will probably be more challenging for both of you. Mr. Sia thought it would be a good idea to give you some general information about how you are supposed to continue at this point.” Sophie pauses and takes a document out of her black folder. “Tonight, you’re going to have dinner on a chartered yacht that is docked at the harbour. The dining room is visible from the outside, especially when it’s dark. You’re going to sit in the first row so that the hired paparazzi and maybe the fans will be able to take good pictures of you to keep the fire burning.”</p>
<p>“Can’t we just eat in a normal restaurant?” Louis asks. Before Sophie can answer, he feels Harry’s hand on his thigh for a slight second, gently tapping on it as if he wanted to calm him.</p>
<p>“No, that’s not possible.”</p>
<p>Louis inhales and exhales audibly but stays quiet.</p>
<p>“Okay, so I think from your contract you already know that you need to get a little bit more physical during the second part of your job,” Sophie explains. “Not right now and not during the next weeks but at the end of November or at the beginning of December, you should definitely behave as if you were attracted to each other what means that a change should be definitely noticeable in the media’s output. No matter if it’s pictures, articles, fan comments on Twitter, Tumblr or other social networks. You can take it slow at the beginning. It might be hugs or just walking, standing closer together, little gestures like kisses on your cheeks or something. The announcement of your relationship is planned toward the end of December where you’re going to be in New York and where you have your most important stunt on New Year’s Eve and the ski trip afterward.”</p>
<p>Louis just stares at the table top with folded hands, biting his tongue. “Is there a plan when we are supposed to kiss?” Harry wants to know. “I only read that we have to kiss but couldn’t find details when exactly.”</p>
<p>“Well, since you are going to show more public display of affection it might happen sooner or later, depending on your progress. We should be able to catch at least a small kiss around the middle of December but it doesn’t matter what kind of kiss that is. Of course, you don’t have to make out in front of everyone.” Sophie blushes a little bit. “I think you know what I mean. The big one is planned for New Year’s Eve anyways in case if it shouldn’t have happened until then. Mr. Sia told me to remind you of that being a part of the contract.”</p>
<p>Harry nods. “Okay.” He doesn’t seem bothered at all, as usual.</p>
<p>“Mr. Sia updated the current list for you so that you have an accurate overview over your next jobs and when the kisses could or must be included.” Sophie pulls two sheets of paper out of a transparent cover. “Here is a copy for each of you.” She hands one list to Harry and one to Louis. “As I’ve already said, it’s up to you where and how you do it. Mr. Sia wants a proper kiss on New Year’s Eve in New York, that’s for sure. It wouldn’t be bad if it was a highlight but it’s up to you.”</p>
<p>“We can do that,” Harry nods. “When are we going to leave for dinner?”</p>
<p>“In about two hours. Jamila is going to get you dressed after Joyce has done your make-up. Do you have any more questions?”</p>
<p>“I don’t,” Harry says.</p>
<p>“Me neither,” Louis adds. He feels a certain urge to shower Sophie in swear words but he doesn’t budge.</p>
<p>Sophie turns toward Harry. “Oh, I forgot to mention that Jeremy is going to drive you to the airport directly after dinner since your flight is leaving earlier than it was planned. You’ll return tomorrow in the afternoon.”</p>
<p>“That’s great so I won’t miss the show!” Harry smiles and winks at Louis.</p>
<p>“Exactly. I know how much you love being there so I thought you’d be happy to be back.”</p>
<p>“Perfect,” Harry tells her. “Thanks.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome. Have a nice dinner, you two! Bye guys!” Sophie waves and leaves.</p>
<p>When Sophie has closed the door, Louis turns toward Harry. “How can you be so nice to her is still a mystery to me. I know I’m repeating myself here but . . . still.”</p>
<p>Harry puts his arm around Louis’ shoulders and gives him a smile. “First I would like to say that I know holding back was hard for you and I’m proud that you managed to stay calm. Second, she’s just doing her job as I’ve said before. Being unfriendly or rude toward her wouldn’t help any of us, so that’s why. And, a few minutes ago, you told me that you didn’t want to be that negative about this anymore.”</p>
<p>Louis sighs. “You’re right.”</p>
<p>“If you want, we can continue like this. I’ll talk and you’ll just sit there and be quiet when it comes to those meetings.”</p>
<p>“I like that idea but you know, I think I could never be as nice to her as you are.”</p>
<p>“That’s okay, just don’t be too rude or grumpy.”</p>
<p>“That’s what I was trying.”</p>
<p>“It will be easier for all of us.” Harry surprisingly pulls Louis closer for a second and places a kiss onto his hair.</p>
<p>“What was that?”</p>
<p>Harry smirks. “Practise, what else? Wasn’t that a good one?”</p>
<p>“Pretty much,” Louis says with a chuckle. “Spontaneous and professional and it didn’t even hurt.”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a cute smile, then walks toward the bathroom. Louis can’t hide a little smile. Maybe it won’t be too problematic being closer to Harry than Louis had thought.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0033"><h2>33. ON THE YACHT</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On their way to the harbour, Ben and Rob tell a lot of dirty jokes that make everyone laugh. Shortly before they arrive, Ben calls someone who’s responsible for the stunt, announcing they’ll be there in a few minutes. When Jeremy turns into the small street that leads to the yacht harbour, he slows down and everyone gets quiet. Louis scoots to the middle of the car and looks through the front window. There are already paparazzi waiting in front of one of the yachts, many girls and other people have gathered behind and next to them. Barriers are put up and two security guys are standing close to the crowd.</p>
<p>When they come closer, some of the girls start screaming and hold up their phones although they can’t even see them in the car since the windows are tinted. The screaming and yelling increases when Ben opens the door to let Harry and Louis out of the car. Harry gets out first, then Louis. They smile at the crowd and wave. Louis walks closer to the fans but Rob puts his massive hand onto Louis’ shoulder and pulls him back. “No Louis,” he yells into his ear. “Not today.”</p>
<p>Rob and Ben lead Harry and Louis to the yacht that looks absolutely expensive. The owner and a waitress who is dressed in white and dark lilac greet both young men and the security guys at the entrance. After some small talk, the waitress leads Harry and Louis to their table close to the windows. Louis waves at the crowd from above and almost everyone waves back, still yelling and screaming. Rob and Ben position themselves near the entrance to keep an eye on the people in the street while they’re talking to Mr. Bernstein, the owner of the yacht. The waitress walks away to get them the menus.</p>
<p>Harry shakes his head. “So many people . . . I can’t believe they’re here because of you.”</p>
<p>“Because of <em>us</em>,” Louis corrects.</p>
<p>“Seems surreal,” Harry answers as he’s looking out of the window. “It might sound weird but for me it has almost become familiar doing this with you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t-,”</p>
<p>In this moment, the waitress hands Louis and Harry the menus and they order their drinks. Then she walks away again.</p>
<p>“So, what did you want to say?”</p>
<p>“That I don’t despise stunting anymore – well, not as much as I used to do.”</p>
<p>“But you still hate it, right?”</p>
<p>“I hate the situation I’m in but sitting here with you is okay.”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a smile. “That’s good to hear. You’ve changed a little bit, that’s cool.”</p>
<p>“I think it will always be difficult for me to fully accept it.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay. I mean, I assumed you weren’t such a bad guy when I saw you interacting with your band mates and all the people you work with.”</p>
<p>“I’m not okay with the situation and when I’m angry, I just can’t play it cool.”</p>
<p>“You’re impulsive, I get that.” Harry gives Louis a smile. “We should just enjoy our dinner tonight and maybe you will be able to forget that everything is supposed to be staged.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah . . . but to be honest, I’d rather be at a bar or a cosier place. I’m not a fan of posh places.”</p>
<p>“If we were at a bar you wouldn’t have worn this suit. It fits your curves so well. I noticed that when you were walking in front of me.”</p>
<p>Louis can feel his cheeks getting hot from Harry’s compliment. “Oh . . . thanks.” He stays quiet as he picks on the white tablecloth. Louis doesn’t look Harry in the eyes because he can literally feel his cheeks turning into a slight pink colour. There’s a small, awkward pause before Louis takes the menu from the table and starts reading it.</p>
<p>“Lou?”</p>
<p>“Hm?”</p>
<p>“Sorry, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t. We should choose the food before she returns.”</p>
<p>“Alright.”</p>
<p>Harry and Louis read the menu in silence for the next few minutes. After they’ve chosen what they would like to eat, the waitress comes back to take the order. After she has left, Harry holds his glass up.</p>
<p>“Cheers, Louis. I hope we’ll get on well during the following weeks.”</p>
<p>“I hope so too. Cheers.”  </p>
<p>“I’ve never been to a restaurant or a place for publicity before,” Harry says as he looks out of the window where the crowd is still standing. “Well, I have walked some red carpets for the press but that’s different.”</p>
<p>“Is that a good or a bad thing?”</p>
<p>“Oh . . . a good one, I think? Publicity is good and since you’re nice now, I think it will be okay. I’ve told you that it’s sometimes even relaxing in contrary to my normal work.”</p>
<p>“I see. Still it’s weird to me that you like doing that.”</p>
<p> “I don’t necessarily like it but with you it’s not too bad, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Hm.”</p>
<p>“I mean, sitting here is not the worst thing to do. Look at the surroundings.”</p>
<p>“Well . . . yeah, that’s true.”</p>
<p>There’s a pause. “How does your boyfriend deal with the situation?”</p>
<p>“Not very good, actually.”</p>
<p>“Must be difficult for him since he’s not here with you.”</p>
<p>“Yes, that’s exactly the problem.” Louis takes a sip of his drink. “He can’t stand seeing us together in the pictures.” Harry nods. That’s when the waitress comes and brings the food.</p>
<p>“Oh wow, this looks delicious,” Louis says, “just as yours.”</p>
<p>“It doesn’t only look delicious - it smells like it!”</p>
<p>“So true. Enjoy!”</p>
<p>“Thanks Louis, you too.” Harry shoves a forkful of peas into his mouth and chews. “Oh wow, it’s even better than I thought. They put butter on the peas! It’s so good.” Harry takes a sip of his water. “What did Matt say about the pictures? I mean – if you don’t mind me asking.”</p>
<p>“No, no, it’s okay. He can’t stand seeing us together because he thinks the pictures look real. I explained that we’re just colleagues but he doesn’t handle it really well.” Louis cuts his steak, dips it into the sauce and chews it.</p>
<p>“I can imagine it’s hard for him.”</p>
<p>“I can’t do more than telling him how I feel about the stunt.” Louis looks out of the window. The paparazzi are still there, as well as the fans who are taking pictures. They’re shouting Louis’ and Harry’s name from afar. When they notice that Louis is looking at them, they start screaming and pushing each other. Louis waves and the crowd goes nuts. “That’s so crazy. Did you see that?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. You’re pretty good in pretending you’re having fun.” Harry chuckles as he takes another bite of his food.</p>
<p>“Pretending isn’t really my thing.”</p>
<p>“But you’re doing great!”</p>
<p>“Are you making fun of me?”</p>
<p>“No, not at all. I mean it. Maybe you aren’t aware of your talent when it comes to acting.”</p>
<p>“Acting?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, acting. Remember when we were at the fashion show? You hated being there but for example when the photographers came, you were really nice to me, you smiled and everything. You just did your job and the pictures that came out of it were professional. You saw the reaction to them online.”</p>
<p>“Well, yeah. I tried to do my best although I really didn’t feel comfortable there.”</p>
<p>“See,” Harry smiles. “Were you in a drama club or something at school?”</p>
<p>“Just for a year but I didn’t really enjoy it so I quit.”</p>
<p>“It seems like you learned quite a lot there, so cheers again!” Harry gives Louis a smile as he holds his glass up.</p>
<p>Louis nods. “Cheers. Thanks for the compliment. Now tell me something about yourself.”</p>
<p>“What do you want to know?”</p>
<p>“Hm . . . tell me about your childhood since I already know the posh part of you.”</p>
<p>“The posh part of me? Louis!” Harry half-laughs.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Louis smiles and shrugs.</p>
<p>“Okay, okay,” Harry chuckles. “But I’ll leave out the story of my dad leaving since you know that already.” And then Harry tells Louis about his childhood in Cheshire, about his beloved cat and how his sister Gemma cut his hair because she wanted to be a hairdresser when she was eleven years old.</p>
<p>Back at the hotel, Harry packs his bag quickly since he doesn’t have much time until Ben has to drive him to the airport. For the first time, he hugs Louis goodbye spontaneously before he leaves and Louis lets him. It’s a cool, friendly hug. After Harry has left, Louis feels a little lost in his huge room. What did Harry tell him when they were on the yacht? That it felt familiar for him stunting with him? If Louis thinks about the day, it felt like this for Louis too.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0034"><h2>34. OBSESSED</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next day is a busy day for Louis and his band: Waking up early, going to the gym, vocal training, a photo shooting. About one hour later, Harry still hasn’t arrived and Louis wonders where he is. After playing some table tennis with Niall and Zayn, the guys get dressed for the show. “Where is Harry?” Zayn asks Louis as they’re getting their make-up done.</p>
<p>“He wanted to come and see the show, I don’t know. He should have been here by now.”</p>
<p>“He wouldn’t miss the opportunity to come to a show.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I know.”</p>
<p>“He’s obsessed with your voice.”</p>
<p>“Zayn! Come on, don’t say shit like that. He’s not.”</p>
<p>Zayn laughs. “Sure, he is, more than anything. Ask him. It’s not a secret, everyone around knows that.”</p>
<p>“Everyone knows that. Are you drunk?”</p>
<p>“I’m not. It’s true!”</p>
<p>“Prove it to me.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Zayn nods. “Jamila? Can I ask you a question?”</p>
<p>The woman stops fumbling with the clothes she is about to put on hangers and turns around. “Yeah?”</p>
<p>“On a scale from zero to ten, how obsessed is Harry with Louis’ voice?”</p>
<p>“Oh . . . probably twelve.”</p>
<p>Louis frowns. “That was arranged. That’s no proof.”</p>
<p>“No!” Zayn and Jamila say unison.</p>
<p>“Ask someone else. She was in the room. She might have listened to us.”</p>
<p>“Good then let’s get someone who wasn’t in the room.”</p>
<p>Louis quickly gets up and calls one of the light guys who’s walking down the hallway. “Thomas! Thomas, could you come inside quickly?”</p>
<p>The guy stops walking and frowns. “Yeah? I’m on my way to look for the broken light, I don’t have much time. What’s up?”</p>
<p>“It won’t take long,” Louis tells him and drags Thomas into the room.</p>
<p>“Hey Tom,” Zayn greets the guy, giving him high five.</p>
<p>“Hey. Louis wanted to show me something.”</p>
<p>“No, I wanted to ask you something.”</p>
<p>“Well then?”</p>
<p>“Okay so . . . is Harry obsessed with my voice?”</p>
<p>“More than anyone,” Thomas tells Louis. “Was that it? I really need to go now.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that was it.”</p>
<p>“Thanks guys! Have a good show later!” And then he’s gone.</p>
<p>Louis sits down on the chair again. “See?” Zayn tells him. “Everyone knows.”</p>
<p>“I mean, he’s told me he liked my voice but being obsessed with it is a bit too much, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>Zayn shrugs. “Ask him and you’ll see. He told me that you weren’t happy in the beginning when he wanted to come to the shows but he loved it so much.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you think you talk a little bit too much about me with him?”</p>
<p>“Well, it was you who treated him like a stranger. He just looked for people who were nice to him and of course he told us how he felt.”</p>
<p>Louis sighs. “You’re right . . . I wasn’t very nice to him.”</p>
<p>“You were an asshole, that’s what you were.”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>“I hope you will treat him better from now on.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I will. We ev-,” Louis says but gets interrupted by a loud and happy “Hello I’m finally back again!” All of a sudden, Harry is standing in the room with a big smile on his face, wrapped in a thick winter jacket. When Louis sees Harry, he gets up from his chair to give him a welcome hug.</p>
<p>“Where were you? What happened?”</p>
<p>“Hey Lou, what a greeting!” Harry smiles as he pats Louis’ back. He lets go of Louis and waves to everyone in the room. “Hi!”</p>
<p>Zayn stares at Louis and Harry as if he had seen a ghost. “You’re hugging? Like . . . what did I miss?”</p>
<p>“Nothing, stop making a drama out of nothing,” Louis says playfully and swats Zayn’s arm. Zayn chuckles and swats back.</p>
<p>“My plane was late and the traffic was insane,” Harry tells Louis. “I thought I wouldn’t be here in time. When is the show going to start today?”</p>
<p>“At seven thirty, as usual,” Zayn tells Harry. “You’re not that late, quite on point I’d say.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m so glad. I was really afraid to miss this highlight of my day and,” Harry says playfully as he puts both of his hands onto Louis’ shoulders, “not being able to hear your beautiful voice tonight.”</p>
<p>“Oh please, stop exaggerating, Harold.”</p>
<p>“Sleepy, I’m not exaggerating. I love your voice.”</p>
<p>Zayn frowns. “Whatever is going on with both of you but you don’t only <em>love</em> Louis’ voice,” Zayn says seriously, “admit that you’re obsessed with it.”</p>
<p>Harry takes his hands away from Louis’ shoulders. “Yeah, kind of.”</p>
<p>“See? I told you!” Zayn nearly yells at Louis.</p>
<p>Louis turns toward Harry and frowns. “Stop talking shit.”</p>
<p>Harry flushes slightly. “I’m not talking shit. I’m a little embarrassed now but it’s true that I’m obsessed with your voice. I love how it sounds, especially when you sing.”</p>
<p>“Stop flirting, you two,” Zayn laughs while Joyce comes over and gets ready to do Louis’ make-up.</p>
<p>“Oh, would you stop that?” Louis fires back. Zayn wiggles his eyebrows and earns another swat from Louis.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry to interrupt your little banter but I would like to get Louis ready for the show,” Joyce says.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Zayn says as he gets up from his chair. “Would you like to play table tennis with me, Harry?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, we can do that.”</p>
<p>“Would you mind?” Zayn addresses Louis.</p>
<p>“Yes, go. I don’t mind.” When Zayn and Harry have left the room, Joyce starts doing Louis’ hair and make-up. After that, everyone gets ready for the show and as usual, Harry takes his seat in the VIP arena.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0035"><h2>35. A MASSAGE FOR HARRY</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I’m not tired at all,” Louis tells Harry when they walk along the hallway to their hotel room. “I usually am but not today.” He opens the door and lets Harry step in first.</p>
<p>“You must be rushed by the energy. I had the impression the Spanish fans brought another energy level with them than the others, they were so loud!” Harry gets rid of his shoes and puts them neatly next to the wall.</p>
<p>“Absolutely, it’s different everywhere. Mexico is different from Spain. Germany is different from France but I it’s fun everywhere. It would be boring if the crowd was the same.”</p>
<p>“But there’s one thing that has been the same all the time.”</p>
<p>“What? You being annoying?” Louis says seriously at first but then he grins and sticks out his tongue toward Harry who swats Louis’ arm playfully. Louis tries to move away, but he doesn’t succeed.</p>
<p>“No, you idiot, your voice.” For a second, Louis has the impression that Harry’s cheek flush a little bit or maybe it’s just the lights. “You should know that I love it by now but every time you sing it gets me, especially during the slow parts . . . your voice so unique and the feeling I get when I’m listening is amazing. I’ve never experienced something like that before when it comes to music.”</p>
<p>“Oh . . . thank you. Nobody has told me something like that before.”</p>
<p>“Well, then this was a first.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Louis smiles. “What should we do now? Do you want to go to bed?”</p>
<p>“No, not yet. I feel like I’m not ready to sleep but . . . I remember a certain bet. What about that? Would you give me a massage?” Harry’s face enlightens. “Please,” he pleas in a funny voice. “My back hurts from sitting in those planes and waiting at airports.”</p>
<p>“Yeah I can do that, if you want.”</p>
<p>“I’d love to.”</p>
<p>“Then get ready on the bed. I’ll ask Zayn for massage oil since it’s better when it’s wet.”</p>
<p>“Uh, that sounds kind of hot.”</p>
<p>“This massage won’t include a happy end, love. We’re not in a cheap beach resort here.”</p>
<p>Harry chuckles. “Don’t let me wait for too long!” he sings in a funny voice as he walks into the bedroom.</p>
<p>Louis laughs at Harry’s funny tone and shakes his head. “You’re crazy. I’ll be back in a few.” Zayn’s room is only a few meters down the hallway.</p>
<p>“Hey Lou, did you miss me?” Zayn says with a smile when he sees Louis standing in front of this door.</p>
<p>“Ha. Ha. No, I’ve had enough of you today,” he says seriously, then gives him a fake smirk.</p>
<p>“I’m joking. How can I help you?”</p>
<p>“I need massage oil and I wondered if you could lend me some.”</p>
<p>Zayn frowns. “What for?” A second later, a wide smile is plastered on his face. “Aaaah . . . I get it. You’ve quite improved from hating each other to this.”</p>
<p>“Can’t you speak any louder? Let me in for God’s sake!” Louis hisses. Zayn steps aside and lets Louis pass. “What are you talking about?”</p>
<p>“Mister Harry Styles, one of the best-looking men in the world is in your room and you’re asking me for massage oil? Come on. Is there something going on between you two?”</p>
<p>“You’re talking shit.”</p>
<p>“Doesn’t mean I’m wrong, huh? What happened to Matt?”</p>
<p>“Stop talking about Matt. This has nothing to do with him.”</p>
<p>“So?”</p>
<p>“I lost a bet, that’s why. You gave me a massage too a few weeks ago. Why are you making such a fuss about it now?”</p>
<p>Zayn puts one arm around Louis. “Because, my friend, that’s different. Something has changed between you two, it’s obvious.” He pulls his arm away and walks over to the bathroom. After a few seconds he returns with two medium sized bottles. “Here, this one is unscented and this one has a slight lavender note. No need to bring them back until tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Louis takes both bottles. “Thanks. And please don’t tell anyone because I don’t want to be the talk of the tour. It’s enough that you’re imagining things.”</p>
<p>Zayn smiles. “I promise. Have fun!”</p>
<p>Back in the room, Louis finds Harry on the bed. He has taken off his shirt and wears his black sweatpants. Louis catches himself staring at him for a second before he walks overs over to his bedside table. “Look, Zayn gave me those. Which one do you prefer, the unscented one or this one? It’s lavender scented.”</p>
<p>“Let me smell the lavender one, please,” Harry says and props up on his elbows. “I like lavender but only if the scent isn’t too strong.” Louis opens the small bottle and holds it under Harry’s nose. “Yes, that’s it.”</p>
<p>“I also like this one. Do you mind . . . I mean, can I sit on you?”</p>
<p>Harry lets out a laugh. “Oh my God, Louis, I hope nobody is recording us right now!” He chuckles quietly as he turns around a little bit so that he can look at Louis.</p>
<p>Louis flushes. “Sorry, I-,”</p>
<p>“Everything is fine, don’t worry. It just sounded funny,” Harry says. “You are funny. Hey, don’t look like that! Do you still want to do it?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“So, hop off then.” He makes a gesture and gives Louis a smirk.</p>
<p>“Wait,” Louis says as he sits down on the bed next to Harry, his left leg bent so that his knee almost touches Harry’s thigh.</p>
<p>“Hm?”</p>
<p>“Well, I don’t only want to do this because of the bet but also . . . because I want to make up for all the shit I’ve said to you . . .  if that’s even possible.”</p>
<p>“I appreciate that but really, you don’t have to worry about that anymore.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Louis says. “Now turn around again and shut up.”</p>
<p>“How sweet you are.” Harry smiles as he turns onto his tummy again, arms put next to his torso.</p>
<p>Louis sits down on Harry’s thighs, squeezes some massage oil into his left hand, then he puts the bottle back onto the bedside table. He rubs his hands together to spread the oil, then he puts his hands down at the small of Harry’s back so that his wrists are nearly touching. He rests his hands there.</p>
<p>“That feels so good,” Harry says quietly, “oh my god.”</p>
<p>“I haven’t done anything yet, Harold.” Louis smiles at Harry’s words. He knows how good this touch feels because Zayn has showed him this technique and he loves it too. It’s a simple move but very effective.</p>
<p>“I don’t care, it feels amazing,” Harry mumbles. “Stay like this, please.”</p>
<p>Louis stays silent but keeps his hands at the bottom of Harry’s spine. He adjusts his hands to not directly exert pressure on Harry’s spine but leaves them there for another minute. Then, Louis lets his hands glide slowly up Harry’s back, kneads his neck gently and lets his hands slide down his back again until he reaches his starting position. He rests the hands there again, then repeats his movements. After spreading the warmth, Louis moves his hands to Harry’s shoulders to massage them in firm movements. He can feel Harry relaxing under his touch. Meanwhile, Harry has closed his eyes and his breathing has slowed down. Louis enjoys the massage too since Harry’s skin is smooth and his muscles feel good under his hands. When the oil has drawn into Harry’s skin almost completely, Louis ends the massage and gets off the bed.</p>
<p>Harry doesn’t budge. His breathing is still slow and he stays where he is as he opens his eyes a little bit. “That felt wonderful,” he mumbles, “thank you.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome.” Louis gets up from the bed to wash his hands. When he returns, Harry still hasn’t moved from his position.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to move,” he says. “I feel so relaxed.”</p>
<p>Louis smiles as he flops down on his side of the bed. Harry’s curls are spread around his head and his closed eyes. “Do you want to fall asleep like this?” Louis asks.</p>
<p>“I would like to but it’s getting cold.” He opens his eyes slowly, looking at Louis. “You were fantastic. This massage really made up for everything.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome again.” Louis gives Harry a smile, then looks away. “Do you think we can have a fresh start? I still feel so guilty about everything. I know I’m repeating myself but I’m very sorry.” Louis pauses. “You should know that I’m not the type who apologizes a lot.”</p>
<p>Harry nods as he holds his hand up to give Louis high five. “You’re forgiven, I promise.”</p>
<p>Louis feels as if a burden has been lifted off his chest. “I kind of like when you’re around lately. I know that might seem weird but yeah.”</p>
<p>“Thanks. I do too when you’re nice.” Harry gets up from the bed and shivers. “Uh. I need a hot shower now and then I’ll sleep like a baby.”</p>
<p>“Probably.” Louis leans back against his pillows and watches Harry walking out of the room. A few seconds later, his phone rings. It’s Matt. Louis is still on his phone with Matt when Harry comes out of the bathroom. He’s only wearing a white towel around his hips that hangs quite low so that it might fall down every other second. Harry’s v-lines are showing and his huge butterfly tattoo on his chest catches Louis’ attention for the second time. He looks so beautiful, stunning.</p>
<p>“Louis? Are you still there?” Matt’s voice seems far away and suddenly, Louis notices that he’d been staring at Harry’s torso. The second he realizes the bad conscience starts kicking in.</p>
<p>“Uhm . . . sorry love. What did you say?”</p>
<p>“You seemed distracted,” Matt says. “Who’s with you?”</p>
<p>“Nobody,” Louis responds quickly. He gets up and walks out of the bedroom, closing the door behind him.</p>
<p>“It’s him, isn’t it.”</p>
<p>“We’ve been to this before. Harry is with me when we have to work. It’s the same thing as usual, really.” Louis sits down on the sofa.</p>
<p>“Isn’t your show over by now? Where are you?”</p>
<p>“At the hotel. We came back a few minutes ago.” Louis feels bad because of this lie but he doesn’t want to add fuel to the fire.</p>
<p>“Then why is he with you now?”</p>
<p>“He’s not with me,” Louis lies. “We were talking about our plans tomorrow and he’s on his way to his room. Stop inventing stories, please.”</p>
<p>Matt sighs. “I’m sorry, Lou. I’m just hurt and I miss you so much.”</p>
<p>“I miss you too.”</p>
<p>“What can I do to enlighten your mood a little bit?”</p>
<p>“Come home.”</p>
<p>“You know I can’t right now but I’ll be with you again in about one week. Does that help?”</p>
<p>“A little bit.”</p>
<p>“Okay. Tell me, what are your plans for tomorrow?”</p>
<p>“Oh, nothing too exciting. I’ll go to university and do some research on a topic for my English literature seminar with some friends. My mum is at her brother’s house since they need her help so I’m going to babysit my sister in the evening. Maybe Riley will come over too.”</p>
<p>“Oh nice.” Louis pauses. “The show was exhausting and I’m pretty tired.”</p>
<p>“Okay, Lou . . . then I don’t want to keep you from sleeping. Sleep well.”</p>
<p>“You too and . . . please don’t forget that I love you.”</p>
<p>“I love you too. Bye Lou.”</p>
<p>Louis puts the phone down and blows air through his lips. He leans back against the soft pillow and covers his face with his hands. He lied to his boyfriend about Harry. He feels miserable but at the same time he didn’t have any other choice, did he? Louis walks back into the bedroom.</p>
<p>“What happened?” Harry asks, looking up from his book.</p>
<p>“My boyfriend can’t accept the stunt.” Louis lets himself fall onto his bed.</p>
<p>“You two have some things in common, I see.”</p>
<p>Louis pulls a face. “That was unfair. I can totally understand that he’s hurt.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you’re right, I’m sorry for the joke. Thought it was funny.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, it’s okay.”</p>
<p>“What bothers him most?”</p>
<p>“You, the photos, the tweets, everything. Well, he didn’t mention everything but I know it’s like that.” There’s silence for a while. “The worst thing is that I lied to him but I did it because if I had told him the truth, he would have started another endless discussion with me on the phone.”</p>
<p>“What was the lie?”</p>
<p>“That you were leaving for your room.” Harry frowns and Louis just knows he wants an explanation. “Well, I haven’t told him that we sometimes stay in a room together since he was already hurt by dealing with the pictures and tweets. I thought if I told him that, he’d lose it completely.”</p>
<p>“Hm, I see. I can understand you but also him. Maybe you should tell him another time.” Harry puts his book away and lays down.</p>
<p>“Yes maybe.”</p>
<p>“He might find that out some day and I think then it would be even worse.”</p>
<p>Louis sighs. “You’re right. But I won’t think about it now. Sleep well, Harold.” He turns around and turns his lights off.</p>
<p>“Sleep well, Lou. And again, thank you for the massage.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0036"><h2>36. TALKING TO ZAYN</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>There aren’t any stunts planned when the last four shows in Europe take place. During the first show, Louis finds himself looking at the VIP arena more than once although Harry has left in the morning. He just got used to him being around on tour and the more days pass, the more Louis somehow misses his company.</p>
<p>In Amsterdam, Louis goes to a coffeeshop with Zayn in the afternoon. They eat brownies and smoke joints although they know Sia has forbid them to do that. “It feels good to escape from the circus,” Zayn says, blowing the smoke out of his mouth. “I needed to get out, even if just for one hour.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, same. The last days were quite stressful and I couldn’t sleep well.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>Louis shrugs. “I don’t know.” He takes a drag, exhales and stares at the table top. “I mean, I’m not sure.” He traces his finger over a small scratch in the varnish of the table.</p>
<p>Zayn frowns. “So?”</p>
<p>Louis looks at Zayn and blinks. “I’m confused, that’s all.” They stay quiet for a while until Louis speaks again. “I feel like I’m used that he’s near me, as dumb as that sounds.”</p>
<p>“Harry?”</p>
<p>“Well . . . yeah.”</p>
<p>“You two were quite flirty last time.”</p>
<p>Louis swats Zayn’s arm. “Hey, that’s not true! We weren’t flirting.”</p>
<p>“Oh dear,” Zayn laughs.</p>
<p>“What? I’m just trying to be nice just as you have told me.”</p>
<p>Zayn takes another drag of his joint. “Ah okay.” There’s a slight grin on his face and his eyes tell Louis he doesn’t believe him at all.</p>
<p>Luckily a call distracts Zayn and they don’t talk about Harry again. In his bed, Louis checks Twitter and notices that the fans are still speculating about Harry and him as intensively as they have weeks before. He is astonished by how creative some people are. They have uploaded many beautiful and cute drawings online that show either him, Harry or both of them together. It feels weird to see that kind of art but nevertheless, it’s fantastic. Louis can’t stop scrolling through the fanart tag he has found and spends about thirty minutes looking at all different kinds of Larry fanart, as the fans call Harry and him. Louis thinks about how much work and passion people are investing in their fake story and suddenly, he feels bad about it. He feels bad because of the outcome, he feels bad about the fact that it affects people who are committed to something that’s just made up for PR.</p>
<p>Louis takes a look at the pap pictures too that have been released lately and if he didn’t know better, Louis would probably agree to most of the things the fans are talking about them. Riley was right when she said that Harry looked hot and handsome at once. Louis stares at a picture of Harry Riley has sent a while ago. It shows him somewhere in New York. He’s wearing blue jeans, a simple white shirt with a light blue print and a colourful woollen cardigan that seems a little too big for him. His curls are messy and his smile is bright. Louis thinks that Harry definitely is handsome and born to be a model – he even looks good when he’s not working. Still, Louis doesn’t like models in general but he likes Harry and also the way <em>he</em> walks. A few days ago, Riley had sent him a video of a fashion show in Milan where Harry closed the show and the designer took his hand and walked with him towards the cameras. Harry looked amazing, even in his weird outfit that was made of black lace and satin and looked somewhat amazing on him. Louis feels the urge to call Harry and talk to him but he also knows that it's too late for that. He turns around and closes his eyes, trying to fall asleep but Louis can’t manage until three in the morning.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The next day is the last one of the European tour. After the concert, there’s an after-show party planned at the hotel. Everyone who took part in the tour like crew members, the musicians, the catering crew, securities and everyone else who has been involved. Louis is quite excited for it because he knows those parties are great. After that day, they’re going to leave and have a few days off before the American part of the tour starts.</p>
<p>Before lunchtime, Zayn comes over to Louis’ room and they both sit down to hang out and scroll through their phones first. “You look tired,” Zayn says after a while.</p>
<p>Louis puts his phone down as he leans his head against the backrest of the armchair. “I couldn’t fall asleep until three in the morning.”</p>
<p>“Do you miss him?”</p>
<p>“Who?”</p>
<p>“Styles.”</p>
<p>Louis feels a strange tug at his heart when Zayn mentions Harry’s name. “The only one I should miss is Matt.”</p>
<p>“Should, could, would, that’s not the question. So?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to talk about it if you feel uncomfortable.”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head. “No, I’m . . . I’m just confused. I don’t know what I think or feel right now.”</p>
<p>“Well, if you could choose who you wanted to see right now . . . would it be Matt or Harry?”</p>
<p>“This isn’t fair.”</p>
<p>“Maybe it’s not fair but the easiest way for you to find out what you feel. What if you could only choose one of them?” Louis exhales, then covers his face with the palms of his hands. “Okay, okay, you don’t have to answer. The fact that you hesitate is proof enough.”</p>
<p>“Proof?”</p>
<p>“That you might miss him more than you are willing to admit.”</p>
<p>“Do you think I’m a bad person?”</p>
<p>“Why, because you have a crush on Styles?”</p>
<p>“I don’t have a crush on him. I love Matt.”</p>
<p>“Hey,” Zayn says with a smile, “people have crushes all the time. It doesn’t mean you’re a bad person, Louis. It also doesn’t mean you’re cheating on Matt or that you don’t love Matt anymore. Crushes happen but . . . whatever will happen, I won’t judge you for anything.”</p>
<p>Louis frowns. “What do you mean whatever will happen?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know? Whatever will happen,” Zayn shrugs.</p>
<p>“I have a boyfriend and I love him.”</p>
<p>“I know Louis, I’m just saying.”</p>
<p>“Just because I miss his company it doesn’t mean that I have a crush on him.”</p>
<p>“Okay, okay . . . don’t worry about it. What have you planned for your days off?”</p>
<p>“I’ll stay at my mum’s house for two days and I’m invited to my best friend’s birthday party with Matt. I’ll stay with him and just relax at home, do some laundry and stuff.”</p>
<p>“Cool plan.”</p>
<p>“Minus the laundry.”</p>
<p>“Yeah”, Zayn laughs, “minus the laundry.”</p>
<p>“What about you?”</p>
<p>“I’ll go out with my friends. We like going to fancy clubs and stuff so I’m looking forward to it. My family is also waiting for me and I’ll probably do some laundry too if my mum doesn’t beg me to do it for me.”</p>
<p>“She probably won’t,” Louis smiles.</p>
<p>“No, definitely not.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0037"><h2>37. (UNEXPECTED) FEELINGS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the late afternoon, Louis and his band are at the venue and Louis is alone in the dressing room. He thinks about his chat with Zayn and somehow, he doesn’t know what to think. Does he have a crush on Harry? Just because he misses him a little bit? No , this is not a crush, this can’t be a crush. Louis opens his chat with Matt and texts him about his day. Matt answers within some minutes and they both text back and forth. Suddenly the door is being opened.</p>
<p>“Hey Lou, I thought you wanted to play table tennis with us?” Niall asks as he sticks his head through the door of their dressing room. “I need you in my team! Liam and Zayn are terrible, they’re going to win!”</p>
<p>Louis holds his phone up. “Yeah sorry, I got distracted.” The phone beeps twice and Louis looks at it quickly. Matt has messaged, as well as Harry. “Just give me a few minutes, is that okay?”</p>
<p>Niall nods. “Okay – be quick, please.” He pulls a pleading face that looks so funny that Louis just can’t contain himself and laughs out loudly.</p>
<p>“Oh God Niall, stop pulling that face! Go and win the first round without me, alright?”</p>
<p>“I’ll be waiting. Hurry up!” And then Niall closes the door with a loud bang. Louis answers Matt’s message first, then he opens the chat with Harry.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  What are you up to right now?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   The boys are playing a table tennis match and Niall wants me in his team. I’m on the sofa, chatting.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  Then go! You can’t let Niall lose against Liam and Zayn.</em>
  <em> I miss being on tour with you and the others. Feels weird not to be there. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   I’d rather chat with you, though.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  We can chat later again, after your show. You can’t let Niall down.</em>
</p>
<p><em>Louis                   I know </em>☹</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  Hey, don’t be sad. We’ll see each other soon.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   Soon? In about two weeks, that’s not soon.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  Maybe we can meet before that. I’ll have two days off soon but I can’t really tell you the exact date right now. If you want, we can meet then and do something fun.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   That would be cool.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  Now go. You don’t want Niall to be mad at you, do you?”</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   I don’t care as long you’re not mad at me, Harold. Have a nice evening.</em>
</p>
<p><em>Harry                  You too, Lou. </em>😉</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>After the table tennis match that Louis and Niall won, the boys get ready for the show. As they’re on their way to the stage, Louis can already hear the fans screaming in the arena. That is usually the point where he gets really excited and kind of nervous but it’s a little bit different today. Somehow, he doesn’t feel the same joy as he usually does.  He catches himself thinking of Harry and how cool it would be if he was with him after the show but . . . he won’t be there since he’s working in London.</p>
<p>When the show is over the boys walk down the hallway quickly to get their stuff from the dressing rooms to leave. “I’m so excited for the party guys! We’ve been waiting for this for weeks and now it’s about to happen! It will be so cool!” Zayn says excitedly.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I can’t wait for us all being together, the people, the food, the music!” Liam gives Niall high five. “I love these parties!</p>
<p>Niall puts an arm around Louis’ shoulders. “Hey, aren’t you happy? We’ve been looking forward to this day for so long and now you don’t seem excited. What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>Louis shrugs. “I’m not in the mood for a party, I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“Oh no, Louis!” Zayn says, “Why not?”</p>
<p>Liam pulls a sad face. “Really? Don’t you want to come with us?”</p>
<p>Louis stays quiet. “What if you come with us although you don’t feel like it? Maybe your mood will change after a while. You’re probably just exhausted right now,” Zayn proposes as he opens the door to his dressing room.</p>
<p>Niall nudges Louis’ arm. “Yeah, come on, Lou! Without you it won’t be the same. You’re the biggest party animal on this planet!” Everyone else agrees on Niall’s words, except for Louis himself.</p>
<p>He gives his bandmates a small smile. “Thanks for your effort but I’m really not in the mood. I think I’ll just stay in my room and go to bed.”</p>
<p>Zayn sighs. “Okay. You should know that everyone will miss you tonight. It’s just not the same without you.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Can we do something for you?” Niall wants to know. Louis shakes his head no. “If so let us know, alright?”</p>
<p>“I will, thank you.”</p>
<p>In his room, Louis lays down on his bed and stares at the ceiling. He remembers his last conversations with Zayn he had about Harry and he also thinks about Matt. He loves Matt dearly, he really does. It’s not that his feelings for him have disappeared but also, Louis wants to be around Harry. Why is he thinking this? Is he imagining things? Louis tries to push his thoughts away but he can’t ignore the feeling in his guts when he thinks about Harry. Louis knows he shouldn’t feel like this, it feels wrong and unfair but what can he do? He closes his eyes but sleep just won’t come. His thoughts keep him awake. When his phone suddenly beeps, he gets a fright and his heart starts hammering in his chest. Maybe it’s the fright, maybe it’s the thought that it could be Harry. Louis takes his phone and unlocks it. It’s Riley. He messages with her for a while but not even Riley can distract Louis. Louis stares at his chats, especially at the chat with Harry. Why isn’t he messaging? Louis sighs. He types a few words, then deletes them. He repeats that over and over again but everything he writes seems stupid and ridiculous. Maybe it’s just because he’s overworked, maybe he’s just imagining things and maybe he should just switch off his phone and try to sleep. Don’t people say that tomorrow everything will be better? It probably will. Louis puts the phone away but he doesn’t switch it off. This time it nearly works out. Louis gets sleepy and almost drifts off when he hears a quiet beep. He tries to ignore the fact that he has gotten a message for a while but eventually, he risks a look. His heart nearly jumps as he reads Harry’s name.<br/><br/></p>
<p><em>Harry    </em>              <em>Are you at the party? How is it?</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   No, I’m not there. Where are you?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  I’m on my way home.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   It’s kind of lonely without you in this room.   </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  Oh. But you could be with the others now, right?  Can you believe that I started watching videos of your concerts?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   . . . and I watched a video of you modelling.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  Really? How did you find it?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   My friend Riley is your biggest fan and she sent me one.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  You probably didn’t like it, did you?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   I still find this kind of weird.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  And stupid?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   And stupid but</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  But?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   Sorry, I sent it too fast. I wanted to say that you looked quite cool.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  Thank you. And now open the door, please.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   What?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  Open the door.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   Are you kidding me?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  Would I ever do that?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis                   Of course you would!</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry                  I’m not kidding. Or do you want me to spend the night outside in the hallway?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Louis’ heart starts hammering like crazy in his chest and the heat that’s rushing through his body makes his cheeks flush as he walks toward the entrance door of the hotel room. After he has turned the knob, he can’t believe his eyes. It’s really Harry standing in front of him and he looks so cuddly and soft in his grey hoodie and the thick, light brown leather coat.</p>
<p>“You . . . what . . . what . . . what are you doing here?”</p>
<p>“I wanted to surprise you.” Harry smiles at Louis and gives him a hug that surprises Louis so much that he can’t react that quickly. Harry doesn’t seem to mind. He walks into the room, puts his bag down and hangs his coat onto a coat hanger.</p>
<p>Louis follows Harry’s movements, trying to realize what is happening. He closes the door and steps closer. “I thought you were kidding. How did you . . . I mean why are you here? I mean not why well, I . . . you told me you had to work today? I’m confused.”</p>
<p>“Obviously, I’m not,” Harry smirks. He shoulders his bag to carry it into the bedroom. “Aren’t you feeling well?”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“Because you’re not at the party. I remember that you’ve told me that those parties were your favourites on tour but instead you’re here in your room?”</p>
<p>“I don’t feel like partying.”</p>
<p>“So . . . you really don’t want to go?”</p>
<p>“No, I’d rather be here with you.” The words tumble from Louis’ mouth before he can think about what he’s saying. He feels embarrassed and flushes.</p>
<p>Harry smiles. “Who would have ever thought you might say something like that?”</p>
<p>“Sorry I-,”</p>
<p>“Oh Louis, don’t worry. I’m fine with it.” Harry lets himself flop down on the bed. “I’m a little bit tired anyways but I have planned on staying for two nights, if you want me to. We could have a nice day tomorrow and go sightseeing or just for a walk – whatever you want.”</p>
<p>Louis gets back under the covers. “Really? You want to spend time with me?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I just wanted to spend time with you as friends – not as colleagues. I thought it would be less stressful and without any appointments, we could just have a good time. I kind of missed being with you while I was working and I wanted to spend some of my time off with you.”</p>
<p>“That’s so cool! But when did you plan to come here?”</p>
<p>Harry gets up from the bed and opens his brown leather bag. “After Barcelona. I couldn’t say goodbye because I needed to leave so early and I thought surprising you would be cool. Zayn told me about the party and your last day today and I thought that would be the perfect timing to do it.” Harry pulls a black t-shirt out of his bag and starts undressing. Louis watches Harry who doesn’t seem to mind. “I was preparing myself that we would party hardy but to be honest, I’m fine with just staying here in bed and fall asleep after a while.” He puts his bag away again and slips under his covers. “I like being around you lately.”</p>
<p>The way Harry looks at Louis feels intense. Has he always looked at him like that? Probably. In the dimmed light of the bedroom Harry looks so handsome. These thoughts aren’t right, Louis thinks. They aren’t. “Have I said something wrong?” Harry suddenly asks. “I mean if you don’t want to just tell me.”</p>
<p>“No, no, everything is fine. You surprised me.” Louis is too shy to admit that he wanted Harry to be with him after the show.</p>
<p>“Is that positive or negative?”</p>
<p>Louis looks at Harry. He smiles so that his dimples show and Louis feels the urge to poke one of Harry’s dimples with his index finger. “Positive. I’ve never seen someone with dimples like yours.” He touches Harry’s cheek, then pulls his hand away. It felt like a reflex.</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a small smile. “I’m glad to be here but,” Harry yawns, “I think I must sleep.”</p>
<p>“I’m tired too. Goodnight, Harold.”</p>
<p>“Goodnight, Louis.”</p>
<p>Louis can’t fall asleep soon in contrast to Harry who has drifted away within seconds. His breathing is slow now and he looks peaceful in his sleep. Louis looks at him, thinking about what he had wished before. Now that Harry is with him, it feels kind of familiar. He would have never thought that he could see Harry again before the start of the US tour and – most of all – he would have never thought that he might want him to stay with him just for fun. His heart leaps a little at the thought that tomorrow they will be together without any appointments, just for fun – just Louis and Harry. This thought thrills Louis and he feels incredibly happy but also, he has a guilty conscience concerning Matt. Matt wanted to come over as soon as Louis arrived home but now, the plans have changed. Louis stares into the dark, trying to push those thoughts away. Minutes later, he falls asleep too.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0038"><h2>38. A PILLOW FIGHT AND A LIE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the morning, Louis can feel a slight pressure against his back. Harry lays close to him in his sleep and Louis doesn’t budge because he enjoys the feeling. Minutes later, Harry moves away, stretches himself and yawns. Louis turns around and looks at him. His curls are messy, his eyes puffy and he looks sleepy.</p>
<p>“Good morning,” Harry says in his deep morning voice.</p>
<p>“Good morning, Harold. You’re still here.”</p>
<p>“Where should I be?”</p>
<p>“When I woke up, I wasn’t sure if I maybe hadn’t only imagined things.”</p>
<p>“I’m here but if you want me to leave I can-,” Harry says and pretends that he’s getting up from the bed.</p>
<p>Louis grabs Harry’s covers and pulls.</p>
<p>“Okay,” Harry says and smirks, “as you want.”</p>
<p>“Idiot. Of course, I want you to stay.”</p>
<p>“I’m happy you let me in. Imagine you would have left me standing in the hallway.”</p>
<p>“Oh, poor baby,” Louis says playfully, “I’m sure uncle Zayn, uncle Niall or uncle Liam would have let you in. The second he has stopped talking, Harry throws one of his pillows into Louis’ face.</p>
<p>“What?” he asks. “You’re making fun of me?”</p>
<p>Louis grabs the pillow as he sits down in his bed. “Me? How could I! Take this!” He throws the pillow back, hitting Harry’s chest instead of his face as he had planned to. Harry gets on his knees too, what makes him taller. He lets the pillow fall down since he has already another one ready to throw. As he does that, Harry gets up quickly, armed with his other pillow as he picks up another one. He hurries to the door where he stops and watches Louis who’s still sitting in the bed.</p>
<p>“Come on, hit me!” Harry yells and throws another pillow at Louis. Louis shakes his head, grabs all pillows he can get and jumps out of the bed, following Harry through the huge hotel room. “Wait until I get you!” he yells, throwing a small pillow at Harry who bends down quickly. The pillow falls onto the sofa, almost hitting the decorative lamp that is put on the little table next to it. Harry keeps looking at Louis, trying to figure out his next move as he takes the pillow and throws it back. He tries to hide behind the sofa but as Louis comes closer, he decides to run away, followed by Louis who is definitely ready to take the revenge. The pillow fight continues as heated as it is until there’s a knock on the door. Louis and Harry stop their movements and listen. “Was that a knock?” Louis asks and stops throwing the pillows. Harry takes this as a possibility and hits him with a small one. “Don’t try to distract me, Tomlinson!” he yells and laughs. Harry throws another one with force that hits Louis’ head.</p>
<p>Louis holds the pillow in his hands and puts one hand up. “No, really. There was a knock.”</p>
<p>“Uh, okay. Maybe we were too loud?”</p>
<p>“I don’t think so,” Louis laughs. “Whoever wants to interrupt is just jealous because we’re having fun. God, I haven’t done a pillow fight in years!”</p>
<p>“Same,” Harry says and pushes his curls back. He follows Louis to the door.</p>
<p>“Hey Lou, I just wanted to ask-Harry?! What the hell are you doing here?” Zayn steps inside the room. He gives Harry high five. “Hey mate, welcome!”</p>
<p>“Hey!”</p>
<p>“Why are you here?”</p>
<p>“I wanted to surprise Louis.”</p>
<p>“What did you two do? I thought I had to safe someone,” Zayn laughs.</p>
<p>“I won a pillow fight,” Harry says proudly, holding two pillows up in the air.</p>
<p>“Wait, wait, wait!” Louis suddenly yells. “You winked at him!” Louis gesticulates toward Harry. “You did!”</p>
<p>“I did nothing,” Harry laughs.</p>
<p>“Yes, you did!”</p>
<p>Harry and Zayn smile as they look at Louis. “Wait . . . did you know that he would come?” Both guys stay quiet but their faces are telling. “You did! Zayn!” Louis smiles and shoves Zayn playfully who wraps his arms around Louis, then he lets go again.</p>
<p>“Hey . . . you’re my friend and I knew how happy you would be so I decided not to say anything. I just stopped by to say goodbye to you and wish you a good flight home.”</p>
<p>“Thank you. I don’t even know how to get home since I’ll stay longer but we’ll see.”</p>
<p>“Oh, you don’t have to worry,” Zayn smiles, “Harry has already booked your flight home so no worries.”</p>
<p>Louis turns around. “Is that true?”</p>
<p>Harry nods. “It is.”</p>
<p>Louis’ face lights up as he wraps his arms around Harry. “Thank you, that’s so cool?”</p>
<p>“I’ll tell Rob and Ben you’re not coming. Is that okay?”</p>
<p>“That’s okay. Enjoy your days off.” Louis gives Zayn a hug too.</p>
<p>“Bye.”</p>
<p>Louis closes the door and walks back to the bedroom. “Did you really get a flight for me?”</p>
<p>“Yes! I thought it might be too stressful for you if you had to book a flight spontaneously so I booked one for you.”</p>
<p>“You’ve really thought that through, haven’t you?”</p>
<p>“I thought that like this we could spend the day without having to worry about flights and stuff. What do you think about having breakfast somewhere?”</p>
<p>“That would be cool. After our exercise I feel like I’m awake eventually.”</p>
<p>“And it isn’t even ten,” Harry smiles.</p>
<p>“Yeah, a great change. Do you want to go to the bathroom first?”</p>
<p>“Is that because you’re nice to me or just because you want to lay down in your bed for some more minutes?”</p>
<p>Louis grins. “Both options are good ones.”</p>
<p>“I thought so but it’s fine.” Harry takes his clothes and walks into the bathroom. Meanwhile, Louis has gotten several messages from Matt.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Matt     Morning my love, did you sleep well?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Matt     I almost couldn’t sleep all night long because I’m so excited to see you again.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Matt     Miss you.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis     Hey, I’m awake now. Miss you too but I’m sorry to tell you that I have to stay here for one more day.</em>
</p>
<p><em>Matt     Noooo </em><em>☹</em> <em>Are you serious? Why?</em></p>
<p>
  <em>Louis     I forgot about a few appointments.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Matt     </em>
  <em>☹</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis     Don’t be sad. I’ll be home the day after tomorrow.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Matt     Okay, I’ll be waiting for you. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis     Same. Can’t wait to see you. Please don’t be sad, okay?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Matt     I’ll try to. Have a good day and don’t let others stress you. I can’t wait to see and hug you again.</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis     Same, love. I’ll text you when I’m home. Have a nice day. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Louis feels terrible for lying to Matt. He has never lied to him before and he knows it’s shitty of him to do so but Louis didn’t want to turn Harry’s surprise down but also, he couldn’t tell Matt the truth about staying longer. Matt might probably take it the wrong way and that’s not what Louis wants above all. Telling him that he had to stay because work seemed to be the most logical reason so he decided to go with it.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0039"><h2>39. KINGS & QUEENS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After about half an hour, Harry and Louis are ready to go. They decide to walk through the small city centre and see if they can find a cosy place to have breakfast. It’s a cold November morning when Harry and Louis hurry down the nearly empty streets. Harry spots a café at a corner that seems cosy, quite old-fashioned and not crowded at all. “That was a good breakfast that one,” Louis says when they leave. “The eggs were fantastic and that bacon so crispy!”</p>
<p>Harry laughs. “Yeah, I noticed that you liked it. I’ve never seen someone eating so much at once.”</p>
<p>“It was so yummy! I just couldn’t resist.”</p>
<p>“That’s true.”</p>
<p>“And it was nice to be at a café without being recognized. I like that feeling of normality a lot, when people don’t treat me any special.” Louis kicks a pebble away that lays in the way. “It’s the moments I love the most.”</p>
<p>“I feel the same, yes.”</p>
<p>They continue walking down the street for a while. “What are we going to do now?”</p>
<p>“Do you want to go home?”</p>
<p>“To the hotel? No.”</p>
<p>“Okay.” There’s silence again. “Do you remember you told me that you liked board games?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I love board games! How do you remember that?”</p>
<p>“I sometimes pay attention when people talk to me, you know?” Louis nudges Harry playfully and he chuckles. “There’s a place where you can have a drink and play board games and I thought that might be something you’d like.”</p>
<p>“That sounds so cool. I don’t even remember when I told you that. Or maybe I didn’t tell you directly? I have no idea.”</p>
<p>“You talked to Niall and I heard it.”</p>
<p>“Might be.”</p>
<p>“It’s not a wonder that you don’t remember that since you barely talked to me back then.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Ugh, I still feel guilty.”</p>
<p>“Don’t, it’s okay. At least we’re on good terms now, aren’t we?”</p>
<p>“We are,” Louis smiles. “And I’m glad it turned out that way.”</p>
<p>“Yes, me too.”</p>
<p>The place they go to is more or less a large room that looks like a library from the 90ies. The walls on the left are completely covered with wooden bookshelves. The difference is they don’t only hold books but also plenty of different board games. The walls are decorated with old paintings that are surrounded by golden frames. The low window sills are crammed with different kinds of green plants and there are two cats sleeping on a huge pillow near the counter top of a small bar that’s in the back of the room. “Kings &amp; Queens” is the name of the place. The curved, golden letters are painted on the glass that’s framed by an ancient green wood panelling on the outside.</p>
<p>“What a cool place that is,” Louis says as they’re walking into the room.</p>
<p>“I’ve just heard about it but now that I’m here I have to admit it’s even cooler than I thought.”</p>
<p>“Hey guys, come in, come in!” the guy behind the corner says happily. “Nice to meet you, I’m Adriaan.” Harry and Louis reply the handshake. “Have you ever been here?”</p>
<p>“No,” Harry replies. “I’ve only read about that place online but it looks even cooler than in the pictures.”</p>
<p>“Thank you so much. It took me ages to renovate this room but in the end all the hard work paid off. So, do you want me to tell you how it works?”</p>
<p>Louis and Harry nod. “Yeah!” they say unison what makes Adriaan laugh.</p>
<p>“Great. Okay, so basically you pay for your stay and the drinks you want. I’ve got everything: alcoholic beverages, non-alcoholic ones, smoothies, shakes, iced coffee, latte macchiato, water, cola and other soft drinks, tea, hot chocolate, whatever you want. You can also see the prices over there.” Adriaan points at a black board. “So, for example now it’s almost twelve so if you stay for two hours without drinking anything it would be 20 € and the first drink is always free. If you want more drinks or a sandwich, it will add to your bill. From that money, I also pay for the two cats over there.”</p>
<p>“Oh wow, that’s amazing. Why are the cats here?” Harry wants to know.</p>
<p>“I saved them when I was on a trip through Greece. Someone had thrown them away like garbage. They were in a box next to a bin and I don’t need to tell you in what awful condition they were. I took them with me, went to the doctor and stuff and now look at them. They are healthy and happy. That’s their favourite place.”</p>
<p>“Aren’t they afraid of the people?”</p>
<p>“They were at first but since they got used to it . . . people pet them and some even bring cat food as a present. It’s a wonder how much they like being around people by now. I live upstairs so they can practically go upstairs if it gets too much but they usually don’t.”</p>
<p>“That’s such a nice story. It’s okay that you charge a little bit more since it’s for a good cause,” Louis says.</p>
<p>Adriaan nods. “Yeah and I also donate some of my money to an association that cares about homeless cats in Greece. That’s why my drinks aren’t cheap but I think the atmosphere and the cats are worth it.”</p>
<p>“That’s wonderful. Can we choose a place?”</p>
<p>“Sure! Sit down wherever you want and I’ll bring you my menu.”</p>
<p>“Thanks. So where do you want to sit?” Harry asks Louis as they look around the room. There are just two occupied tables, the other ones are empty.</p>
<p>“Next to you,” Louis says.</p>
<p>Harry looks at Louis and gives him a soft smile. “I hoped you’d say that. Look, I like that table over there, in the corner.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, I almost didn’t notice there was another table since the shelf is in front of it.”</p>
<p>“It’s like a little booth, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Let’s go there. Thank you so much for bringing me here. It’s the coolest place I’ve ever been.”</p>
<p>“We haven’t even started playing!” Harry laughs as he sits down on the small, comfy armchair.</p>
<p>Louis sighs as he lets himself fall onto his chair. “Well, my glass is half full.”</p>
<p>“Since when?” Harry chuckles. “That’s new for me.”</p>
<p>Louis rolls his eyes. “Since we were on that yacht.”</p>
<p>Harry nods but can’t hide a smile. “Mr. Pessimistic That’s nice. Now let’s choose a game and something to drink.”</p>
<p>After they’ve ordered drinks, Harry and Louis decide on a game. It’s fun spending time with Harry because they don’t only play but also, they talk about different things, laugh together and it’s just a relaxed and atmosphere in general. Harry and Louis spend about four hours at the “Kings &amp; Queens” and Adriaan gives Harry and Louis a discount eventually because they’ve stayed for such a long time and drank more than three drinks per person. Harry insists to pay for both of them and Louis donates some money for Adriaan’s cats and his association in addition.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0040"><h2>40. LUNCHTIME</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I think playing board games with you will be a thing,” Louis says when they’re on the street again.</p>
<p>“I’d love to. Do you usually bring some with you when you’re touring?”</p>
<p>“No because nobody likes playing them.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>Louis shrugs. “Not really. Niall, Zayn and Liam sometimes play cards with me but I prefer board games.”</p>
<p>“You could bring some on tour so we can play. What do you think?”</p>
<p>“Cool thing.”</p>
<p>“Alright so what do you think about having lunch somewhere?”</p>
<p>“Oh yes, I’d like a burger and fries, to be honest. Nothing else.”</p>
<p>“I don’t mind. I also love burgers. Let me check if I can find a nice restaurant around here.” Harry gets his phone out and checks the surroundings. “Here. There’s one about fifteen minutes away and . . . yeah look, looks good. What do you think?”</p>
<p>Louis looks at Harry’s phone. “Ah, it’s a real burger restaurant, cool.”</p>
<p>“I prefer them than McDonald’s or Burger King.”</p>
<p>“I don’t but a burger is a burger.”</p>
<p>“Alright. So come on, let’s go. I can feel my stomach grumbling already but it’s funny that I didn’t notice while we were playing.”</p>
<p>“You were too busy trying not to lose that’s why!”</p>
<p>Harry playfully grabs Louis’ neck and squeezes it from behind. “Oh, come on, I wasn’t that bad!”</p>
<p>“No,” Louis laughs as he pushes his shoulders up in a reflex, “but you struggled quite a lot for someone who told me he was a winner most of the time.”</p>
<p>“Well, maybe I have to learn some new strategies against you!”</p>
<p>“Maybe.” They continue walking through the tiny streets of the old town. There aren’t many people in the streets since it’s cold and a weekday. Suddenly three girls walk towards them and giggle. One of them points at Louis, then she whispers something into her friend’s ear.</p>
<p>“I think we’re not in disguise anymore,” Harry whispers.</p>
<p>“Seems so.” He giggles. “Maybe we might try to make them believe we’re not the people they think we are?”</p>
<p>Harry swats Louis’ arm. “No way, Lou. Just be yourself and that’s it. Come on. They won’t bite!</p>
<p>The girls walk towards Harry and Louis slowly, giggling nervously as they come closer. They look at them but don’t say anything as two start taking pictures out of the blue.</p>
<p>“Hi,” the third girl says shyly. The others greet Harry and Louis too but don’t say anything else.</p>
<p>“Hey,” Louis replies, “how are you?”</p>
<p>Before the girl can answer, one of her friends suddenly let herself fall into Harry’s arms without a warning. She starts sobbing and crying and Harry puts his arms around her. She’s small so that she nearly disappears in his arms. “Hey,” he says quietly. “Everything’s alright, everything’s alright.” The other two girls ask Louis for a picture. After a while, the girl in Harry’s arms has calmed down a little bit and pulls back. Her hair is messy now and her face is red, strained with tears. Her body is trembling still, but she has stopped crying. “Is everything okay?” Harry asks her again and she nods.</p>
<p>“You okay?” Louis asks her too as he puts his hand onto her back. The girl only nods without saying a word.</p>
<p>“Can we also take a picture with you, Harry?” one of them asks and Louis takes the picture. After that, the girls check the photos excitedly. They’re still nervous, Louis can see that but at least the crying one seems to be okay.</p>
<p>“Bye girls, it was nice to meet you!” Louis says and Harry says goodbye too. The girls don’t move when Harry and Louis are about to leave and in the first second Louis thinks they might follow but they don’t.</p>
<p>“You handled the situation so well,” Louis says as soon as they’re out of earshot. “When it happened to me the first time, I was so shocked that I nearly froze. You really made her comfortable and I guess you’re not used to stuff like this.”</p>
<p>“Thanks. It was my first time . . .  I think I handled it naturally like I’d also comfort a friend or someone who’s upset. But it was a weird experience. Why did she do that?”</p>
<p>“Because she likes you, I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“She doesn’t know me?”</p>
<p>“Not personally but I don’t think that’s important. I mean, I’m not an expert . . . what do I know.”</p>
<p>Harry shrugs. “But the girls scream at you and they hug you without a warning.”</p>
<p>“Yeah but I’ve never asked them why. The ones who do that are often so nervous or hyperventilating sometimes that they can’t really talk so I just try to react and be nice.”</p>
<p>“You’re doing the right thing, I think.” Suddenly, Harry grabs Louis’ arm. “Oh – I have an idea! I bet you will like it.” He smiles.</p>
<p>“Tell me!”</p>
<p>Harry shakes his head. “Not here, I’ll tell you when we’re at the restaurant.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“It’s kind of a secret.”</p>
<p>“Uh – that sounds so mysterious!”</p>
<p>Harry giggles. “It’s not that mysterious, just an idea.” He looks at his phone. “The place isn’t far away, should be right around the corner over there.”</p>
<p>Harry and Louis get their drinks and food shortly after they’ve ordered. “How can you eat avocado on your burger or – even worse, avocado in general?” Louis asks as he looks at Harry’s burger, pulling a face.</p>
<p>“I love the taste! Why do you have so much bacon on your burger?”</p>
<p>“Because it tastes amazing!”</p>
<p>“See? I don’t like bacon on burgers. I like crispy bacon with eggs but no slice of bacon will ever get on my burger.” </p>
<p>“Seems like we’re two different kinds of people, aren’t we?”</p>
<p>“If it matters how we like our burgers, then yes, definitely. But we’ve also things in common. We both love cheese. Yours is already dripping, be careful.”</p>
<p>“Thanks. I’ll be quick.” Louis bites into his burger. “Oh God, how yummy that is,” he says with his mouth full. “Thanks for choosing this place!”</p>
<p>Harry gives him a smile. “We were lucky, I’d say.”</p>
<p>“Very lucky! So . . . tell me about your idea.”</p>
<p>Harry leans closer toward Louis. “I thought about creating a new Twitter or Tumblr account so we could talk to your and, in case if there existed more than this one girl, my fans. How weird that sounds, my fans.”</p>
<p>“Why a new one?”</p>
<p>“Because like that we could find answers to our questions.”</p>
<p>“What questions?”</p>
<p>“You don’t get it, do you?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Okay so listen.” Harry lowers his voice. “If you want, we’ll create a fake account. We can choose a girl’s name and pretend we’re fans of you and me and that’s how we can get in touch with the fans and talk to them without them knowing it’s us.”</p>
<p>Louis raises his finger, bites his lower lip and nods. “Now I get it,” he says slowly and smiles. “Quite smart, quite smart, Harold.”</p>
<p>“Do you like the idea?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Look how shrewd you are, who would have thought that some weeks ago?”</p>
<p>Harry laughs out. “Probably not you.”</p>
<p>“No, that’s true. But that idea sounds fun. For sure we’ll get some answers then.”</p>
<p>“And we’ll always know what they gossip about us.”</p>
<p>“Last time was fun although I wasn’t very fond of you then.”</p>
<p>“You don’t say.” Harry takes a sip of his drink. “I liked it but I haven’t done it again. I saw some random stuff but didn’t really follow the conversations. Oh but Lou, I like that you took to heart what I said to you.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“That you should enjoy this a little bit more or at least try to enjoy it.”</p>
<p>“Oh yes . . . I tried to but also, it’s because of you.”</p>
<p>“Thank you. I’m glad we’re not enemies anymore.”</p>
<p>Louis gulps his bite down. “Yes, me too. It’s a little easier now, you were right. I’m not thinking about the nonsense all the time which is some sort of progress, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>“Yes, definitely. I’m glad that you can admit that to yourself now.”</p>
<p>“It’s still not easy for me.”</p>
<p>“I know but look how nice our day is. We wouldn’t be here if you didn’t jump over your shadow.”</p>
<p>“True. It was such a surprise that you came.”</p>
<p>Harry smiles. “I’m glad you didn’t throw me out.”</p>
<p>“Oh Harold, those times are definitely over.” Louis smiles at Harry and takes another bite of his burger. “Honestly, I can’t wait to sit down with you and look at the tweets and stuff.”</p>
<p>“I’m looking forward to it too. But if you don’t mind, I’d like to take another walk after lunch to not feel so sluggish.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, let’s do that.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0041"><h2>41. LURKING</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the walk, Harry and Louis arrive at their hotel late in the afternoon. They take a hot shower since they’re both freezing, then they change into their comfy clothes and flop down on the huge king size bed. “This bed is so comfy,” Louis says as he arranges the pillows behind his back.</p>
<p>“This room itself is very cosy and with the dimmed lights . . . they create such a beautiful atmosphere, like Christmas.”</p>
<p>“My friends don’t care about dimmed lights but I also love them.”</p>
<p>“I know. Boys and men usually don’t really care about stuff like that.” Harry shrugs. “They miss out a lot, I think. So . . . should we create the account now? If you want, I could get my laptop out so it will be more comfortable for us to have a look.”</p>
<p>“Yeah! Do you always carry your laptop with you?”</p>
<p>Harry gets up from the bed to get it. “Yes. Sometimes I prefer a bigger screen.” He sits down again, laptop on his thighs, back leaned against the pillows. “Alright so let’s create a new Tumblr account. We can try Twitter too but Tumblr is used a lot too.”</p>
<p>“How do you know?”</p>
<p>“My sister told me.”</p>
<p>“Ah.”</p>
<p>With some clicks, Harry opens the entry form. “So . . . what name should we choose?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know . . . wait, let me check my Twitter.” Louis unlocks his phone. “I’m not creative when it comes to usernames. Okay, let me see . . . larrymelou . . . larry28love . . . loveandlouist . . . greeneyesharry . . . fearlarry . . . fallingforhabit . . . dragmelarry . . . sunshinelouis . . . larrystyles . . . louisstyles . . . harrytomlinson . . . stylestomlinsons . . . larryhome . . . should we just change a part of one of these?”</p>
<p>“Sunshinelouis?” Harry laughs and covers his face.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“If they knew the real you . . . they’d-,”</p>
<p>Louis swats Harry’s arm. “Hey!! Stop making fun of me! I’m a ray of sunshine, look.” He gives Harry his best and brightest smile, trying to look as cute as he can.</p>
<p>Harry chuckles as he pats Louis’ head. “Yeah absolutely.”</p>
<p>Louis rolls his eyes. “Pffff . . . you’re just jealous because nobody chose the username “sunshineharry”.”</p>
<p>“You could create an account for me, love?” Harry says sweetly, battling his eyelashes at Louis. “No?”</p>
<p>“No way. You don’t need any more attention to boost your posh ego.”</p>
<p>“Posh ego?” Harry chuckles. “Oh dear.”</p>
<p>“I was just making fun. Are you mad at me?”</p>
<p>“Do you know how you can appease me?”</p>
<p>“How?”</p>
<p>“Like this,” Harry says and boops Louis’ nose. He laughs at Louis’ look and smiles. “Your nose looks so boopable, I’ve always wanted to do this but you were too grumpy before.” Louis just shakes his head but returns a smile. “Okay. So, let’s go back to the usernames. Hm . . . what do you think of “harryandlouis”?”</p>
<p>“I’m sure that one is already taken, it’s too obvious. But try it.”</p>
<p>Harry types in the name. “Not working, you’re right.”</p>
<p>“What about “tomlinsonstyles”?”</p>
<p>“Taken.”</p>
<p>“Uff . . . that’s not easy. “Tomlinstyles”?”</p>
<p>“Not working. I’ll try lovelarry.”</p>
<p>“Cool.”</p>
<p>“Taken. But we could add something like “lovelarryharry” or something?”</p>
<p>“I like it because it rhymes. We should try this one.”</p>
<p>“Okay . . . cool. This one works. “Lovelarryharry”. And . . . done. Now we should choose a profile pic and then we can start chatting.”</p>
<p>“Let’s look for pictures on-,” Louis says as his phone rings. It’s Matt. Louis doesn’t really want to talk to him now but if he didn’t answer, he’d probably ask him about that so Louis picks up the phone. “Excuse me for some minutes, I’ll be right back,” Louis tells Harry.</p>
<p>“I’ll get everything started here, don’t worry about me,” Harry says, looking at the screen. “Take your time.”</p>
<p>Louis accepts the call as he walks out of the room. “Hey love,” he greets Matt, “how are you?”</p>
<p>“Hey Lou. I’m a little sad because I miss you. I was looking forward to seeing you today.”</p>
<p>“Oh . . . don’t be sad.” Louis sits down on the bathroom floor.</p>
<p>“How has your day been so far?”</p>
<p>“Not very interesting actually. A lot of business stuff as usual but thank God it’s over now. I really needed a break.” Louis feels guilty for lying again. He hates this, he hates himself the second he has finished talking.</p>
<p>“Sounds busy.”</p>
<p>“Pretty much. What did you do?”</p>
<p>“Not much. To be honest, I couldn’t do anything since I’m only waiting for you to come home. Most of the time I’ve been staring at my ceiling.”</p>
<p>“It’s not a depressive phase I hope?”</p>
<p>“No, no,” Matt smiles, “although it sounds like it. I also washed the bedsheets for us, helped my mum in the household and stuff.”</p>
<p>“That’s really cute, thanks love.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome. I just want you to feel good here.”</p>
<p>“I will, for sure. You think of me way too much.”</p>
<p>“You’re my boyfriend. How could I not think of you? Plus, you’ve also done a lot for me.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, love.”</p>
<p>“Is something wrong with you?”</p>
<p>“No why?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Seems like you’re not in a good mood or . . . distanced.”</p>
<p>“Oh, no no . . . the day was just busy and I have a slight headache. I should probably try to sleep.”</p>
<p>“Oh, okay. Get well soon and I can’t wait to see you. Text me when you’re home, okay?”</p>
<p>“I will. Bye!”</p>
<p>“Bye Lou!”</p>
<p>When Louis ends the call, he blows air through his lips and props himself up on the sink. He looks at himself in the mirror, feeling awful for lying to his boyfriend. He doesn’t know what is wrong with him but right now being with Harry is his first priority. When he thinks of the day after tomorrow, he wishes it would never come. Not because he doesn’t want to see Matt but because he’s afraid that he might find out about his lies. Louis has never been in a situation like this. He splashes water into his face to get rid of his thoughts. He uses his towel, then walks back to the bedroom where Harry is typing something. “Hey detective,” Louis says, “have you found something out?” He flops down next to Harry and scoots closer to have a better look at the screen.</p>
<p>“Yeah look – I put this pic as the profile picture and reblogged some stuff. I think it’s creepy to not reblog or like posts before starting a chat so I was quite active.”</p>
<p>“Oh wow, yeah. Oh my god look! You reposted pictures of the first stunt!”</p>
<p>“Hm,” Harry nods, “the concert pictures. I remember how much I loved your voice when I heard it.”</p>
<p>“I was such an asshole back then,” Louis mumbles.</p>
<p>“True. But at least now you’re nice.” He gives Louis a smile. “Let’s concentrate on this now.” Harry scrolls down on his new Tumblr profile. “See, here are pictures of the fashion show and some text posts.”</p>
<p>“How perfect they look,” Louis reads quietly. “Harry’s delicate beauty combined with Louis’ cool vibes means I’m not going to survive this, they’re the hottest couple.”</p>
<p>“Wow. That sounds dramatic.”</p>
<p>„Pretty much. What else do they write? Scroll down.”</p>
<p>“Here,” Harry points at another post, “this one is equally dramatic. Harry looks like Louis looks and sounds: handsome as fuck.” He laughs. “Oh my god. We’re pretty convincing. No wonder Mr. Sia is happy with our work.”</p>
<p>“Please don’t call this devil by his name. That’s too respectful. He doesn’t deserve your politeness.”</p>
<p>“Forget about him. Come on, let’s focus on the posts.”</p>
<p>Louis sighs but smiles. “Okay.” He scoots closer to Harry and leans his head against one of Harry’s pillows so that he barely touches Harry’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“Can you see the screen?”</p>
<p>“Perfectly.”</p>
<p>“Nice. Do you want to see more?”</p>
<p>“Yes, yes and then we should start chatting with someone.”</p>
<p>“Hm,” Harry nods. “So . . . what have we got. Oh wow – look at this piece of art! I love it! Is it a pencil drawing?” He pulls the laptop closer to look at the drawing.</p>
<p>“Seems so. I like how real it looks. Only our eyes are coloured. It looks amazing.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I’ll reblog it. Okay, done. Oh, this one is funny, listen: I knew I loved Louis but I wasn’t aware of the fact that I also had room for Harry and now they’re both locked away in my heart.”</p>
<p>“That’s sweet. But why – I mean just because they think we look good? “</p>
<p>“I’d be disappointed if it was that only but who knows. We should ask one of them now. What do you think?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, let’s start.”</p>
<p>“Look, someone has messaged me already but we can also chat with someone else in case if they don’t answer or something.”</p>
<p>“What did the person write? Is she a girl?”</p>
<p>Harry opens the chat. “I can check on the account, maybe there’s something written . . . ah yes. Look, she’s twenty. She just asked me if I was new on Tumblr.”</p>
<p>“Tell her that you are.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0042"><h2>42. SPENDING TIME TOGETHER</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Three hours later, Harry logs out of Tumblr and closes his laptop. He puts it on the bedside table and gets up from the bed. “That was fun,” he says, stretches himself to the left and to the right. “But my ass hurts from sitting.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, mine too. I would have never thought we could get so much information by just pretending.”</p>
<p>Harry giggles. “I couldn’t have done it without you to be honest since I know nothing about your music or your career as much as they do.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, true. I didn’t know that stuff like this might be fun, actually! I think we got some good answers, didn’t we?”</p>
<p>“It’s nice that they like your charity engagements and that you’re involved in so many good things.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad it’s not only the looks. Also, in your case . . . I mean how did they find out the fact that you once bought pizza for homeless people in LA?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know really but it’s a cool thing. I mean I didn’t want people to know because these are things, I do for myself and for those in need but . . . at least it’s good news. It’s not only about how I look but also what kind of person I am.”</p>
<p>Louis nods. “Really cool. I’m pretty hungry, should we order pizza? I crave pizza so bad right now.”</p>
<p>“Oh Lou, do you always eat unhealthy food? I mean you could have a pizza with vegetables but I don’t think that would be your choice, am I right?”</p>
<p>“Touché.”</p>
<p>“Let me guess what you like on your pizza.”</p>
<p>“Go on.”</p>
<p>“Cheese.”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“A lot of cheese.”</p>
<p>“Definitely.”</p>
<p>“No avocado and no pineapple.”</p>
<p>“Right. You remember that I don’t like avocado?”</p>
<p>“Of course, I do.”</p>
<p>“You really listen to people, Harold,” Louis says thoughtfully. “Go on.”</p>
<p>“Okay so . . . salami.”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Mushrooms.”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“That’s it.”</p>
<p>Louis smiles at Harry. “Now you know what to order for me, I guess. Perfect. Your prize will be a pizza too and if you insist, it will be one with vegetables. Uh. Pizza with vegetables only.”</p>
<p>“Why? It’s delicious! I like it.”</p>
<p>“It’s fine. You’ll get a big one. Are you hungry?”</p>
<p>“Pretty much. I’m going to accept your offer and ignore your offensive statements about vegetable pizza but I think that gives me the right to also order a nice cucumber salad.”</p>
<p>“Okay, deal.”</p>
<p>“Are you going to order now?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. Do you want something else?”</p>
<p>“No, that’s all.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>When the pizza is delivered, it’s already half past eight. They eat in silence first and to Louis’ surprise, the silence doesn’t feel weird at all. “That has been such a nice day so far,” Harry suddenly says. “I really enjoyed it.”</p>
<p>“Absolutely and to be honest . . . when I think about stunting with you in the US . . . well, I don’t mind. I’m even looking forward to it now since we get on so well.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure it’s you who is speaking? Those words coming out of your mouth? Am I dreaming?”</p>
<p>“Be nice to me or I’ll change my mind.”</p>
<p>Harry laughs. “Cool, cool. Now that we’re friends it will be better anyways.”</p>
<p>“It was a good idea to just spend some time together besides the schedule,” Louis says. Harry just looks at him and gives him a wide smile.</p>
<p>“I’m full!” Louis sighs as he leans back in his chair and puts his hands over his tummy. “I feel so bloated right now . . . fuck . . . and I haven’t even eaten all of it.”</p>
<p>“Do you know what’s the best thing about not eating all your pizza at once?”</p>
<p>“Eating it the next morning?”</p>
<p>Harry points at Louis with both index fingers. “Exactly that. We can have pizza for breakfast tomorrow, wouldn’t that be fun?”</p>
<p>“I guess that everything’s fun with you.”</p>
<p>“You didn’t say that, did you?”</p>
<p>“No, no, I mean it.” Louis pauses. “I know it sounds silly after everything I’ve said before and I almost feel stupid for my thoughts but . . . yeah like . . . today has showed me that I like being around you, it’s cool. I enjoyed the day so much.” Louis rubs his face. “I would have never thought that I ever might say something that comes even close to this.”</p>
<p>“When I came up with the idea, I wasn’t sure if I should really do it.”</p>
<p>“It was. Also, I would have never thought about spending time with you just for fun. I didn’t even consider this an option but now . . . it has become one.”</p>
<p>“That’s really nice of you, Lou. I also like being with you.” Harry closes the pizza box and throws the empty plastic plate with the rest of the salad sauce into the bin. “Now I feel so lazy! I just want to lay down in my bed again.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, being lazy seems to be the right thing right now. I’ll brush my teeth.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>Louis walks into the bathroom and closes the door. As he brushes his teeth, he realizes that he wouldn’t have nothing against staying some more days with Harry if it was possible. Of course, it’s not an option since the flight is already booked and Matt, his friends and his family are waiting for him at home. What a weird thought, Louis thinks. After he has finished his routine, he checks his phone for messages and answers some, including Matt’s. Louis looks forward to seeing him again but if he could choose, he’d rather stay one more day here with Harry. Suddenly Louis gets a fright as he hears Harry knocking on the bathroom door. “Louis?”</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Are you okay? You’ve been inside for quite a long time and I started worrying about you.”</p>
<p>“No . . . I’m okay.” Louis gets up from the floor. “I’ll come out in a few.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>Louis somehow got lost in thought. He puts his towels onto the heating and leaves the bathroom. “Can I go?” Harry asks, pointing toward the bathroom.</p>
<p>“Sure.”</p>
<p>While Harry is away, Louis just stares at the windows. How come that he feels so good around Harry and that he even thinks about staying with him for a longer time? He texts his mum and siblings, then he gets up to get himself some water. “When does the flight leave tomorrow?” Louis asks Harry.</p>
<p>“In the afternoon. I’ve already ordered a taxi that will drive us to the airport in time.”</p>
<p>“Oh, okay.” Louis walks over to his side and slips under the covers. “At least it’s not early in the morning.”</p>
<p>“I thought it would be less stressful like this.”</p>
<p>“True.” Louis pulls his covers up and turns toward Harry. “Are you tired?”</p>
<p>“A little bit.” Harry chuckles.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Well, I still can’t believe that you haven’t said any mean things to me today.”</p>
<p>“Heyyyy!” Louis almost yells and tries to reach out for Harry to nudge him. “That’s unfair! I apologized!”</p>
<p>In that second Harry grabs Louis hand and pulls it down onto his chest what makes Louis giggle. “Stop that! I apologized!” Louis tries to free himself playfully but even if he really wanted to, Harry is stronger than him so he stops fighting back. Eventually, Harry puts Louis hand down but keeps his on top.</p>
<p>“You apologized but I’m still processing that, my dear friend,” Harry says seriously. He lets go of Louis’ hand and smiles. “No, no, I was just playing with you. Do you mind if I switch off the lights?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s fine.”</p>
<p>“Are you excited to tour across the US?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, pretty much. It’s a bit weird that it’s in December since it’s going to be colder in some places. At first it wasn’t planned like that but something happened with the electronics and then there was just the possibility to tour or not tour the US so they decided to announce the tour but plan it for December.</p>
<p>“It’s a little unusual but why not. At least you can spend Christmas with your family.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s cool. When they told me about touring in December, I thought I might not see my family around Christmas but luckily it’s not like that.”</p>
<p>“Are you still pissed that you have to spend New Year’s Eve with me?”</p>
<p>“No, not anymore.”</p>
<p>“Cool,” Harry yawns. “I’m so tired. If I don’t respond it’s because I fell asleep.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, I’m tired too. Sleep well.”</p>
<p>“You too.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>After breakfast, Harry and Louis pack their bags, spend some time in the lobby to drink a coffee and relax a little bit before the taxi takes them to the airport. Harry hugs Louis goodbye and kisses his hair before he leaves for his gate. His little gestures make Louis’ stomach flutter in a comfortable way and they make him kind of miss Harry more than he had thought the second he was out of sight. Louis had been full of expectations that he might sit next to Harry but they hadn’t talked about the details. When Harry told Louis that he wouldn’t fly to London with him, Louis’ excitement turned into disappointment, but he didn’t show his feelings since he thought it was childish to do so.</p>
<p>On his flight home, Louis tries to numb his disappointment and his negative feelings with loud music. Neither the music nor the beautiful view can stop Louis from thinking about Harry. Would he have stayed if Harry had planned one more day? Why would he want to spend more time with him instead of flying home where his family and friends were waiting for him? Why does he even think of that? Matt sounded so sad on the phone and Louis felt terrible lying to him but somehow, he couldn’t tell him the truth. Why? He has never lied to Matt, never. Shouldn’t he think of Matt rather than of Harry? Louis stares at the white clouds that look like cotton candy in the light blue sky. That’s not how he thought his days off would start. Definitely not.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0043"><h2>43. QUALITY TIME</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Later in bed, Matt is cuddled up against Louis. “I’m so glad to be here with you,” he says, then kisses Louis’ neck. “It feels like ages that we’ve been together like that. Yesterday I felt like the day would never end.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay. I mean . . . it wasn’t your fault.” Matt pauses. “Are you looking forward to Riley’s party on Friday?”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah . . . very much. I thought of baking a surprise cake for her, what do you think?”</p>
<p>“She’d be very happy I suppose.”</p>
<p>“I’ll try that. It’s her twentieth birthday so I wanted to do something special for her and since I know she doesn’t want huge presents I thought this would be the right one.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I like Riley. She’s so humble although her parents are so fucking rich.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, right? That’s also a trait I like. In the beginning I had no idea who her parents were and she never talked about her house or her parent’s jobs and the cool thing is that you also can’t see it in her clothes or anything. She’s such a good person.”</p>
<p>“Just like you, Lou.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, that’s sweet.”</p>
<p>“It’s true.” Matt gets up from Louis’ chest and sits down next to him, reaching out for his hand. “I mean look at you. You could easily be conceited but you’re not. You are such a good person and handsome. I’m so proud to be your boyfriend.”</p>
<p>“Uh, I don’t know what to say,” Louis says and flushes a little bit. “I’m tired . . . would you mind if I go to sleep?”</p>
<p>“No, it’s fine. I’m a little tired too.”</p>
<p>The boys nuzzle into Louis’s covers and Matt spoons Louis from behind. “Sleep well,” he says and wraps his arms around his boyfriend.</p>
<p>In the morning when Louis wakes up, Matt is still pressed against him. Louis’s arm feels a little numb, so he gently tries to wiggle out of Matt’s hug to stretch but he doesn’t succeed. Matt wakes slowly, blinking. “Morning,” he says, looking at Louis.</p>
<p>“Morning,” Louis answers. “Did you sleep well?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. For the first time in weeks.”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>Matt puts his arm around Louis’ torso and scoots closer. “I just missed you too much.” He closes his eyes again and falls asleep within minutes. After a while, Louis decides to get up because he can’t fall asleep again. When he has managed to climb out of the bed without waking Matt, Louis looks at him. The blonde boy looks so peaceful in his sleep that Louis wants to take a picture of him. As he looks at the photo in the bathroom, he feels guilty for how he felt about Harry and in general, about lying to Matt the day before yesterday. After showering, Louis wants to make the cake for Riley. He had planned making a marble cake but he can’t find all ingredients, so he decides to go to the supermarket spontaneously. When he comes home from the supermarket, Matt has already showered and sits in the kitchen, eating toast with Nutella and bananas.</p>
<p>Matt turns his head to look at Louis when he walks into the kitchen. Louis puts his bags onto the chair next to him and squeezes Matt’s shoulders. “I thought you left me here alone,” Matt says.</p>
<p>Louis kisses his hair. “No, how could I. I just went to the supermarket to buy some ingredients for the cake since I hadn’t had all of them.” Louis washes his hands, then sits down next to Matt. “I wasn’t hungry when I left but now I am.” He takes two slices of toast out of the package and puts them into the toaster.</p>
<p>“It’s nice to be with you again, Lou. I missed exactly that, the normal things. Sleeping next to you, having breakfast, lunch, dinner with you, feeling you close to me, just that.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I missed that too.”</p>
<p>Matt takes a bite of his toast and chews for a while. “I don’t think you feel the same way because it’s easier for you. You’re so busy on tour that you probably don’t think about me a lot and maybe it’s not a problem for you being away from me for so long but for me, it is.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry that you feel this way . . . well, maybe you’re right in some points but it’s not easy for me, either.” Louis squeezes Matt’s thigh. “Are you excited for the party tonight?”</p>
<p>“I am but . . . to be honest, I’d rather spend time with you alone.”</p>
<p>“Riley would be sad if we didn’t attend the party.” Louis takes the slices out of the toaster and starts buttering them.</p>
<p>“I know, I mean . . . I wasn’t serious. Although I really don’t want to share you with others at that point.”</p>
<p>Louis gives Matt a small smile. “I appreciate that. Do you want to help me with the cake after breakfast?”</p>
<p>“As long as I can kiss and hug you, I’d be glad to help.”</p>
<p>“You can do that as much as you want.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0044"><h2>44. RILEY'S PARTY</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the evening Harry and Louis arrive at the party. “Riley!” Louis yells out as soon as Riley has opened the door, “happy birthday!” He wraps his arms around his friend.</p>
<p>“Louis! I’m so glad that you’re here! Finally! I missed you so much!” Then she turns toward Matt and gives him a hug too. “Hi Matt, thank you for coming!”</p>
<p>“Thank you for the invitation.”</p>
<p>“Always! A party without you two is never a good one.” Riley steps back a little and makes a gesture for the two boys to come in.</p>
<p>“It’s so good to see you again, love. Here’s your present.” Louis hands Riley the colourful package with a cute pink bow on top.</p>
<p>“Oh, thank you!” The girl looks at her present from all sides with a bright smile on her face.</p>
<p>“We made this together,” Matt says.</p>
<p>“Awww, what is it?”</p>
<p>“Something you’ll like. Open it!”</p>
<p>Riley opens the package and takes in the smell of the cake. “Oh, that one smells so yummy!” She hugs Matt and Louis again and presses a kiss onto their cheeks. “You two are amazing, I’m sure it tastes wonderful. Thank you.”</p>
<p>“Made with love,” Louis smiles.</p>
<p>“I can see that.”</p>
<p>“It’s what you wanted: something that doesn’t cost much and that’s made with love,” Matt adds.</p>
<p>“Yes, absolutely. I’m more than happy about it, really! So, you can eat and drink whatever you want from now on.”</p>
<p>Louis puts his hand onto Riley’s shoulder. “I know darling, there’s more than enough for everyone. Your parties are the absolute best when it comes to food and fun.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, my dear friend!” Riley smiles and guides Louis and Matt inside the house. She points toward the room that’s at the other end of the bright hallway. “You can find cold drinks in the kitchen. There’s some finger food, cakes, crackers, crisps and other stuff over there in the living room. I’ve ordered pizza for later but for now, the finger food and the cakes should be okay.”</p>
<p>“For sure, for sure,” Louis laughs, “thank you Ri. You’re the nicest host.”</p>
<p>“Feel at home, okay? Do whatever you want. I’ll check on my cousins now.” And with these words, Riley leaves Louis and Matt alone.</p>
<p>“I’m hungry.”</p>
<p>“Oh Louis!” Matt sighs and rolls his eyes playfully. “We haven’t been here for five minutes and you’re already thinking about food.”</p>
<p>“What? I’m at a party!”</p>
<p>Matt laughs and puts an arm around Louis. “Oh Lou, I missed that.”</p>
<p>“What?” Louis laughs. “Me being hungry?”</p>
<p>“No, you idiot! I missed you being around me and also,e3 your sense of humour.”</p>
<p>Louis gives Matt a kiss. “I also missed being around you. Now come on, let’s get some food.”</p>
<p>About half an hour later, the party is in full swing. Louis talks to many of his former classmates and friends he hasn’t met or seen in months, including Riley. It’s a great party with nice people and for the first time in weeks, Louis feels careless and enjoys every second. The music is good, the people are fun and the pizzas that have been delivered just add up to this cool night.</p>
<p>“Have you seen Matt?” Riley suddenly asks Louis as they’re smoking outside with some other people.</p>
<p>“No, I haven’t seen him in a while. He was with me most of the time but then he went to the bathroom and I didn’t really pay attention since he’s old enough.” Louis chuckles. “Maybe Lisa convinced him to play truth or dare with them and now they’re somewhere upstairs, all drunk and tired.”</p>
<p>“Lou!” Riley laughs and swats Louis’ arm. “Matt would never do that – getting drunk with people.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, you’re right.” Louis chuckles. “He wouldn’t. He’s a good guy.” Louis takes a drag. “Maybe too good for me, who knows,” he mumbles.</p>
<p>Riley puts her hand onto Louis’ shoulder gently. “Hey, don’t say that.”</p>
<p>Louis takes his phone out of his pocket and calls Matt. “Mailbox,” he says. He tries it a few times more but still, he won’t get through.</p>
<p>“Should we look after him? Maybe something has happened?”</p>
<p>“That sounds a little too dramatic. Let’s just wait, maybe he’s just talking to someone and he’ll appear after a while.”</p>
<p>“Maybe.” Riley lights another cigarette. “I’m only worried for my guests.”</p>
<p>“I know, Ri, you’re the best.” Louis pulls her close and rubs her arm, giving her a soft smile. “Again, thank you so much for the invitation.”</p>
<p>“Do you like the party?”</p>
<p>“I love it! The people, the food, the music, you . . . everything is perfect.”</p>
<p>Riley chuckles. “That’s cool. Stay as long as you want but excuse me for now, my sister needs me in the kitchen.”</p>
<p>Louis nods and joins the conversation that’s going on next to him. When he has finished his cigarette, he goes inside again. He talks to the other guests for a while, eats some more pizza and calls Matt again but he doesn’t answer. Slowly, Louis starts worrying about him a little bit, so he walks around the house to find Riley. Finally, he meets her in the hallway. “Love, would you be mad if I left? I need to find Matt. He doesn’t answer his phone and I can’t find him anywhere.”</p>
<p>“I can understand you. I’d probably do the same.” Riley gives Louis a hug. “Thank you for being here. It was great seeing you again and thank you for the cake. It was such a thoughtful present and so yummy.”</p>
<p>Louis squeezes her tight and presses a kiss to her temple. “Thank <em>you</em>, Ri. I enjoyed your party so much. If you need me to help you cleaning up the house tomorrow, just call me.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, but that’s not necessary. Now go and find Matt.”</p>
<p>“Okay love. Bye!”</p>
<p>“Bye Lou!”</p>
<p>On his way to Matt’s house Louis calls him twice again but still, he doesn’t answer the phone. It’s already past midnight when Louis arrives in Garden Lane so he can’t ring the bell. The good thing is that he can see Matt’s room from the street. The lights aren’t switched on, so Louis throws a pebble against the window carefully. Nothing happens. He tries it twice but again, no result. Maybe Matt is sleeping, maybe he didn’t feel well and couldn’t tell Louis what happened. Louis checks his phone. Nothing. After waiting for another ten minutes in front of the house, Louis decides to go home.</p>
<p>To his surprise, Louis finds Matt sitting in front of his apartment. “Matt! Why didn’t you answer your phone? I was so worried! How did you get in?” Louis doesn’t know what to think. Why didn’t he tell Louis that he had left the party? How long has he been waiting here? Why?</p>
<p>“I asked Mrs. Miller to let me in.”</p>
<p>“Oh . . . okay.” It’s such a weird situation and Louis doesn’t know what to say. “Aren’t you freezing?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Come in, if you want you can have a hot shower.”</p>
<p>Matt follows Louis in the apartment. “No thanks, it’s ok. I don’t need a shower.”</p>
<p>“Okay. If you want you can sit down in the living room, I’ll make us some tea and-,”</p>
<p>Matt touches Louis’ arm. “No, Louis, don’t. I’m not here to drink tea,” he says seriously.</p>
<p>“Of course.” What has happened? Louis can’t ignore the slight undertone in Matt’s voice.</p>
<p>Matt follows Louis into the living room where they sit down on the sofa. Matt puts his elbows onto his knees and folds his hands. He stares at the table in front of him for a while, then he speaks. “I don’t know how to start,” he says quietly. Louis can notice the tension in the room, and it doesn’t feel good at all.</p>
<p>“Take your time.” He puts his hand onto Matt’s back.</p>
<p>Matt inhales and exhales audibly. “I doubt that work was the only thing that held you back from flying home.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>Matt looks up. “Isn’t there anything you want to tell me?”</p>
<p>“No, I-,”</p>
<p>Matt pulls his phone out, taps the screen a few times, then he holds it in front of Louis’ face. “Do you understand now?” Louis looks at the picture that shows him with the two girls and Harry in the background. “If you still need a reminder, look at the date. The picture was posted two days ago.”</p>
<p>Louis feels hot and cold as he sees the picture, but he tries not to show his nervousness. “Do you want an explanation? It’s not a big deal, I-,”</p>
<p>“No, Louis. It hurts enough as it is. I don’t want to hear anything about it. You should just know that I know.”</p>
<p>There’s silence for a while. Louis looks at Matt’s disappointed face and he feels terrible. He doesn’t want him to be sad, not at all. He loves Matt but also, he feels something for Harry he can’t quite describe. Louis wanted to stay with Harry, but he also wanted to be with Matt. Louis puts his arm around his boyfriend and leans his head onto Matt’s back. “I’m sorry that this burdens you so much,” he says. They stay like this for a while until Matt sits up slowly and Louis pulls back eventually.</p>
<p>“Can I stay with you tonight?”</p>
<p>“What? I mean – you . . . really?” Louis wasn’t expecting him to ask this.</p>
<p>“Don’t make me say it again.”</p>
<p>Louis nods and takes Matt’s hand. “Of course, darling, of course.”</p>
<p>Matt stays quiet as they get ready for bed. When they lay down, he nuzzles close to Louis’ chest without talking for a while. Louis stays quiet too. “I can’t stand when you’re with him. Even the thought of you being near him makes me sick.” Matt’s voice is quiet.</p>
<p>“Oh please, don’t say that. It’s not his fault-,”</p>
<p>“Louis! You-,”</p>
<p>Louis puts his finger onto Matt’s mouth gently. “Nor is it mine. It’s a job we are have to do, and as I’ve already told you, it doesn’t mean anything. Really baby, believe me.” Louis wraps his arms around his boyfriend and pulls him closer. “You shouldn’t worry so much about that, really not.”</p>
<p>“I’m just afraid to lose you.”</p>
<p>Louis kisses Matt’s hair. “Don’t be.”</p>
<p>“But you took a walk together.”</p>
<p>“We . . . well, we took a walk, but it wasn’t . . . I mean it wasn’t for fun.” The second Louis has finished this sentence, a sharp sting in his tummy makes him flinch a little. Is this the bad conscience? Probably. Fuck. He’s doing it again. He’s lying to his boyfriend, but does he have another option?</p>
<p>“But . . . you don’t look sad in the pictures.”</p>
<p>“Pictures?”</p>
<p>“There were many,” Matt says quietly. “You don’t look like someone who doesn’t enjoy what he does.”</p>
<p>Louis remembers the day with Harry and flushes. He’s glad that it’s dark in the room. Louis gulps. “It’s just acting and . . . pictures are just a snapshot. We sometimes have to work at weird places and . . . don’t forget that we should look happy. It’s part of it.”</p>
<p>“It fucks me up.”</p>
<p>“I know. I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“You don’t know how it feels for me, you just don’t.”</p>
<p>“I can imagine.”</p>
<p>“I doubt that but . . . if I want to be with you, I guess I’ll have to deal with it for a longer time. I just . . . it drives me crazy.”</p>
<p>“Try not to think about it, please.”</p>
<p>Matt sighs. “Okay.” He lets his fingers caress Louis’ tummy for a while. “Do you want to be with him?”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“If you want to be with him.”</p>
<p>“No, why should I? He’s my colleague.”</p>
<p>“Hm.”</p>
<p>“I don’t understand why you torture yourself with that all the time. It’s not necessary to think about him. Really not. I want to be with you.”</p>
<p>In this moment, Matt tilts his head, and they kiss. “Do you feel better, a little bit at least?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, a little bit maybe . . . but I’m also tired.”</p>
<p>“Maybe it’s that. You know that you start thinking about weird stuff when you’re about to travel to the land of dreams,” Louis says with a smile.</p>
<p>Matt swats Louis’ tummy. “That’s mean!” he says half-angry, half-amused.</p>
<p>“That’s not mean, that’s the truth!”</p>
<p>“As if.” Matt yawns and scoots a little bit away from Louis to get into a comfortable sleeping position.</p>
<p>Louis turns toward him. “Please don’t run away again without telling me where you are. I was so worried about you.”</p>
<p>“Please don’t cheat on me with him,” Matt mumbles.</p>
<p>“I won’t.”</p>
<p>“I hate you for spending time with him,” Matt mumbles, already half asleep.</p>
<p>Louis sighs and puts his hand onto Matt’s hips. “I know, love, I know. Sleep well.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0045"><h2>45. MATT'S TICKET</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Three days later, Louis walks over to Matt’s house with an envelope in his hand. He hasn’t told Matt that he will visit him because it should be a surprise. He rings the bell and Matt’s mum opens the door a few seconds later. “Hello Louis, nice to see you again! How are you?” She wraps her arms around him. “You look great, how’s touring?”</p>
<p>“Good morning! I’m good, thank you! It’s going well so far, it’s fun. I’m glad that I had some days off so I could see everyone again before we have to head off over the pond.”</p>
<p>“That sounds good. It’s nice of you that you never forget about your loved ones.”</p>
<p>Louis smiles. “Of course, how could I!”</p>
<p>“You’re a good guy, Louis. Matt is upstairs in his room. If you two need something, just come down and tell me, okay?”</p>
<p>“That’s very nice, thank you. But I won’t stay too long since my flight is leaving in about four hours and they’ll pick me up in two.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I see. You’re always busy. Have a good flight then and come by whenever you want.” She gives Louis another hug before she returns to the kitchen. The smell that comes from there waters Louis’ mouth as he walks up the steep stairs and knocks onto Matt’s door twice. “Matt?”</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>Matt is still in bed. As he sees Louis, his face lights up and he sits up, stretching his arms toward Louis who gives him a tight hug and a kiss. Then Louis sits down on the bed, touching Matts thigh with his hand. “What a surprise to see you! I thought you had already left?”</p>
<p>“I wanted to surprise you. I’ll leave in two hours but before that . . . I have something for you, and I wanted to give it to you personally before I go.” Louis holds up the white envelope. “That’s for you.”</p>
<p>“What is this? A letter?” He takes the envelope and looks at it from both sides.</p>
<p>“No, it’s not a letter. Open it!”</p>
<p>Matt rips the envelope open quickly. “What is . . . a flight ticket?!” Matt says questioning as he looks up between Louis and the ticket. “Phoenix? Like . . . no, really? Is this true?”</p>
<p>Louis smiles and nods. “It’s not a joke!”</p>
<p>“Oh wow, thank you so much!” Matt wraps his arms around Louis and gives him a kiss. “I can’t believe this is true . . . but . . . your manager, I mean . . . didn’t he say no to me visiting you on tour?”</p>
<p>“Originally yes but since . . . you know, since he’s pleased with the stunts and the outcome . . . he decided to allow it as a present or something . . . I don’t know why exactly but most important is that he gave me the tickets. I wouldn’t be surprised if he wanted me to do something terrible afterwards, but I don’t mind right now.”</p>
<p>“Oh . . . well then at least something good came out of that.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I want you to visit me and I want to show you that I care about you, you know? This is a good opportunity.” Louis leans over and kisses Matt again.</p>
<p>“It’s perfect! A wonderful surprise.” Matt’s face glows. “Tell your manager thank you.”</p>
<p>“No, I won’t tell him, but I agree that it’s perfect.” Louis gives Matt a smile. “He doesn’t deserve a thank you. It should be normal for you to visit me whenever you want.”</p>
<p>“Well . . . yeah. You’re right.”</p>
<p>“Anyways . . . I’m glad he did that. Oh, but you have to promise that you won’t worry about Harry and I. Please.” Louis isn’t sure why he’s saying that. To calm Matt or himself, maybe both.</p>
<p>“I will try to.”</p>
<p>“I could sleep better if you did, you know?”</p>
<p>Matt nods. “Okay.” He holds the tickets up and smiles. “This will help me to cope because I’m looking forward to this so much.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I mean, it will be a little difficult to really stay in touch because of the time difference but at least you’ll visit after about two weeks and then we can have a proper talk and everything else.”</p>
<p>“I can’t wait, really.” Matt gives Louis a hug and a kiss. “Have a good flight and text me when you’re there, okay?”</p>
<p>“I will.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0046"><h2>46. JITTERBUG</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Are you happy to see Harry again?” Zayn asks on their way to the hotel. He nudges Louis’ arm and winks at him. Liam and Niall are in another car so they’re on their own.</p>
<p>Louis swats back. “Zayn!”</p>
<p>“What!”</p>
<p>“Stop giving me that look.” Louis turns his head away from Zayn and leans it against the window.</p>
<p>“Hey, don’t pout. I was just joking.”</p>
<p>“I’m not pouting, Zayn. It’s just . . . I had a good time with Matt at home. We made a cake together, we were at a party and it was fun, we kissed - everything was fine, except for one thing: I wasn’t completely honest with him.”</p>
<p>“What happened?”</p>
<p>“I stayed in Belgium for one more day with Harry, remember?”</p>
<p>“Ah yes, the surprise thing.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I had told Matt I’d come home that day but I liked Harry’s idea so much that I wanted to spend the day with him, too . . . so I told Matt that I had to stay there for one more day because of the business. I couldn’t tell him that it was because of Harry. He would have thought I was cheating on him or something, so I decided to not tell him the truth to not hurt him more than he already was.”</p>
<p>“Did you?”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Cheat on him.”</p>
<p>“No! Of course not. Harry and I had a nice day together, that’s all but now . . . I feel so excited when I think of seeing him again and that is confusing.”</p>
<p>“Well, that doesn’t have to mean anything. Maybe you’ve just realized that Harry is a cool guy and now you’re happy to see him.”</p>
<p>”Do you think so?”</p>
<p>Zayn shrugs. “Yeah. I mean maybe you actually do have a crush on him and that’s what makes you uncomfortable when you think about Matt. But as I’ve told you before, that usually isn’t a serious reason to worry.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know really.”</p>
<p>“What makes you doubt that?”</p>
<p>“Because I feel like I shouldn’t be <em>that</em> excited.”</p>
<p>Zayn gives Louis a smile. “Maybe you’re just interpreting things because you’re nervous in general, you know? About the tour and your stunting and all that. Take the things as they come, maybe that will help.” </p>
<p>“Yeah, that sounds good.”</p>
<p>“That you like him is only a plus for your stunts. You’ll have to work with Harry for five or six weeks straight so it’s better to like than to hate him, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>Louis blows air through his lips. “Yeah, yeah, that’s true.”</p>
<p>“See. Just don’t think too much about it.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, mate.” Louis holds his hand up to give Zayn a handshake.</p>
<p>“That’s my Louis,” Zayn smiles and hits Louis’ hand with his. “Do you want me to give you a massage when we arrive? Maybe that will help you to relax and get rid of your thoughts.”</p>
<p>Louis’ face lights up. “Really?”</p>
<p>“Yeah!”</p>
<p>“That would be so cool! Oh and . . . thank you for listening to my shit.”</p>
<p>Zayn ruffles through Louis’ hair playfully and nods. “No problem mate, always.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Louis . . . calm down!” Niall puts his hand onto Louis’ knee to stop the nervous gesture. “You’re so fidgety today, what happened?”</p>
<p>“I’m just excited for the show.” Never would Louis admit it was because of Harry but . . . it is because of Harry. Zayn’s promised massage calmed him down and it was relaxing but as soon as they were driving to the venue, he got kind of nervous and excited – a terrible combination. Louis can’t remember when he has been that excited for the last time.</p>
<p>“Are you sure that you haven’t drunk too many energy drinks today?”</p>
<p>Louis laughs. “Noooo, I haven’t!” He looks over to Zayn who gives him a knowing smile that makes Louis flush a tiny bit. “I bet the show will be fun and I’m also looking forward to-,”</p>
<p>“Harry!” Louis shouts as he sees him walking through the door. The moment Louis spots him is different this time. He can feel butterflies raising in his tummy that seem to spread through his body quickly, making his heart beating faster. He wasn’t expecting himself to react like that, maybe it’s the shock. Harry has cut his hair a little bit, but his curls are still showing. He’s wearing light blue jeans and a white shirt below a colourful cardigan. His sunglasses are pushed up in his hair. He looks so handsome and lovely, yet cool. Louis practically jumps up from the ale-bench, walks over to Harry quickly and greets him with a hug.</p>
<p>“Hey!” Harry smiles as he wraps his arms around Louis, “What a welcome!”</p>
<p>Louis’ body is filled with energy as he pulls back. “Wow you . . . you look amazing,” Louis says quietly, almost as if he was in trance.</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a warm smile, chuckling silently. “Thank you for the compliment, Lou. You look amazing yourself. Are you ready for the show?”</p>
<p>“Now that you are here, I’d say yes.”</p>
<p>“I couldn’t wait to arrive. I missed you, the shows, the boys, everything. I’m so excited!”</p>
<p>“Doesn’t it get boring to see the show over and over again?”</p>
<p>“Never. Where are the others?”</p>
<p>Louis nearly forgot about the fact that he wasn’t alone in the room. “Uhm . . . they’re over there, see?” He immediately feels a little embarrassed.</p>
<p>They walk over to the table where Harry greets everyone with hugs and handshakes. Then he goes to the buffet to pile up food on a big plate. When he’s back, the energy at the table shifts clearly. It seems like Harry is able casting a spell over people easily. Louis has noticed that before but now that he’s not bitter about Harry anymore he understands it better. Harry has something that attracts people and it’s not just his look. His way of talking is pleasant. His voice is deep, it sounds warm and calm at the same time. Harry seems to be one of those people who can talk easily about everything to everyone and Louis just watches him in silence as he’s eating and entertaining everyone around.  </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0047"><h2>47. TATTOOS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“It’s a shame that you never have enough time to visit the cities you’re playing.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it is. But doesn’t that also count for you?” Louis unlocks the door to their hotel room and Harry follows him inside.</p>
<p>“Most of the time, yes . . . but I’ve been to Chicago before and it’s a pity that we couldn’t take a walk through one of the parks today.”</p>
<p>“It’s winter.”</p>
<p>“That doesn’t matter, really. Do you think there might be enough time for us to sneak out in the morning before I leave?”</p>
<p>“Wait, won’t you stay with me tomorrow?”</p>
<p>“I have to leave for a job around lunchtime, but we could go to the nearest park. Would you like that?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. But it’s not a stunt thing, is it?”</p>
<p>Harry shakes his head. “No, no.”</p>
<p>“We could try that because we’re going to leave the hotel around eleven or something.”</p>
<p>“Perfect.” Harry puts his bag onto the floor in the bedroom and takes out his shirt he usually sleeps in. “Should we tell Rob and Ben?”</p>
<p>“Oh no, please not. I just want to be with you out there like normal people. I like them a lot but when they’re with me I always feel like I’m with babysitters.”</p>
<p>Harry chuckles. “Yeah, I understand. Plus, there won’t be many people in the park that early so it will be fine.” Harry undresses quickly. Louis can’t help but stare at Harry’s body, his tattoos, the flexing of his muscles. He looks so beautiful and sexy. Harry looks Louis in the eyes, catching him staring. The second Harry’s eyes meet Louis’ he flushes and looks away. Luckily, Harry doesn’t say anything. He just stows his bag in the wardrobe next to his bed. Harry takes out a book and gets under the covers while Louis grabs his shirt out from under his pillow and goes to the bathroom.</p>
<p>“Do you like my tattoos?” Harry asks when Louis comes back.</p>
<p>Louis flushes but luckily, the lights are dimmed in the room. “They look cool on you, yeah.”</p>
<p>“Do you also have tattoos?”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t. Never actually thought about getting one.”</p>
<p>“I thought about getting only two for my mum and sister a few years ago what lead to a never-ending story as you could probably see.”</p>
<p>Louis gets under the covers and turns toward Harry. “Did they hurt?”</p>
<p>“Not all of them, my pain tolerance is pretty high.”</p>
<p>“Which one hurt the most?”</p>
<p>Harry puts his book away. He pulls his cover down so that his torso is exposed. Louis looks at his chest going up and down slowly as he’s breathing. “This one here hurt a lot.” Harry points at the huge butterfly that’s located in the middle of his torso. Louis moves his hand out from under the covers and traces the perfectly inked lines of the butterfly as he’s looking at the detailed artwork.</p>
<p>“It’s beautiful,” he says as he pulls away slowly. “What does it symbolize?”</p>
<p>“How fragile we are. Everything around us. Our lives, nature, feelings, relationships, everything. People don’t worship what they have, they don’t worship little things. We sometimes feel strong and powerful but eventually, we’re still fragile.”</p>
<p>“Oh wow. That’s so deep.”</p>
<p>Harry nods. “It is, yeah.”</p>
<p>“What’s your mum’s name?”</p>
<p>“Anne.”</p>
<p>Louis looks at the spot between Harry’s shoulder and neck where a small “A” tattoo is inked. The letter is beautifully curved and ends in a tiny bird. “Is that one for your mum?”</p>
<p>“It is, yes.”</p>
<p>“What’s the story behind the little bird?” Louis stops his movements but lets his arm rest on Harry’s chest.</p>
<p>“It’s a robin.” Harry says. “If you close your eyes and trace the bird, you can feel the little red spot on his throat. Do you want to try it?”</p>
<p>Louis doesn’t answer but moves the fingertip of his index finger over the tattoo. “Oh yes, I can feel it.”</p>
<p>“When I was in first grade my mum found a baby robin in the garden. She wanted to help him, so we took it up from the ground, put it into a self-made nest and fed it with special food. It survived, such a tiny little creature. That she wanted to help him was impressive and it showed me again what a lovely person my mum was and still is. She’s devoted when it comes to people or animals that need help and she never demands something in return. My mum is a wonderful person and I wanted to share that, visible for everyone. The size is because of her modesty.”</p>
<p>“That’s so lovely.”</p>
<p> Harry gives Louis a smile. “I feel comfortable when you’re around,” Harry suddenly says and looks at Louis. They lay there in silence for a while. Louis feels like talking to Harry but at first, he isn’t sure if he should say what’s on his mind, so he stays quiet.</p>
<p>“Do you remember when you told me that we had to practise kissing?” he says after some time has passed.</p>
<p>“That was when I came to your house.”</p>
<p>“I was so fucking pissed.”</p>
<p>“Not anymore, right?”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0048"><h2>48. PRACTISE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“No.” Louis looks at Harry. “Do you want to . . . practise now?” The words tumble out of his mouth too fast and the second he has finished his sentence he wants to take his words back. What if Harry says yes? What if he says no? He shouldn’t have said that. Harry only chuckles and Louis feels embarrassed. “Oh fuck, I shouldn’t have said that. I-,”</p>
<p>“No, no, it’s fine!”</p>
<p>Louis presses his hands in front of his face. “Oh god . . . this is embarrassing.”</p>
<p>“No, it’s not. Put your hands down, Lou, it’s not embarrassing. We need to do it anyway. Harry laughs as Louis doesn’t pull his hands away at first. “Louis!” he says playfully. Eventually, Louis puts his hands down. Harry sits up in his bed and pulls the cover over his thighs. “Come here,” he says and pats his lap.</p>
<p>“Are you sure?” Louis asks. He’s nervous.</p>
<p>“Yeah!”</p>
<p>After some seconds Louis moves a little closer but then he stops. He kneels down in bed, hands in his lap. “I can’t. I’m so embarrassed.” Louis blows air through his lips and rubs his face again.</p>
<p>“It’s okay, we don’t need to do it now.”</p>
<p>“Are you mad at me?”</p>
<p>“Not at all.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Hey . . . there’s no need to be sorry. We can sleep now, and we’ll try another time.”</p>
<p>“I think so.”</p>
<p> Harry takes his phone. “I’ll set the alarm for seven am.”</p>
<p>“Okay”, Louis mumbles. He suddenly feels sleepy as he turns around to his side of the bed. “Sleep well, Harold.”</p>
<p>“Sleep well, Lou.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>The sun is already up when Harry and Louis leave the hotel. The fresh morning air hits their faces as they step out into the sun. “Days like these are my favourites,” Harry tells Louis as they walk down the street. “Cold but sunny. The best time to go for a run.”</p>
<p>“The best time to sleep.”</p>
<p>Harry pats Louis’ back. “Oh Lou, wait until you see the beauty of the ocean. You won’t regret that you got up early. Are you hungry?”</p>
<p>“Not very much. I can’t eat so early.”</p>
<p>“I feel the same. Oh look, there you can see the first trees of the park!” Harry starts walking faster. “I could sit near the ocean for hours. I love it so much . . . the sound of the waves, the salty smell. It’s magical. Come on, don’t let me drag you there!” Harry laughs as he gestures for Louis to hurry up. When they reach the park, Harry leads Louis directly to the platform that allows a wonderful view over the ocean and the city skyline. The wind is sharp there and it nearly hurts when it hits Louis’ face, but the view makes up for the pain. “Wow”, Louis says astonished, “this is magnificent.” He pulls his hood up.</p>
<p>“Right? I love everything about this place. The combination of everything, the trees, the skyline, the water . . . it’s just beautiful and trust me, it’s even more beautiful in the morning.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Louis nods slowly, “I can see where you’re coming from. Thank you for waking me up.”</p>
<p>“It was also worth experiencing all your swearing washing over me at seven in the morning.” Harry smiles and winks at Louis who nudges him playfully.</p>
<p>“Sorry, Harold. I’ll get you whatever you want at Starbucks when we’ll be there for the stunt in Nashville. Will that make it up?”</p>
<p>Harry laughs. “Maybe I should mention all the other incidents so I could get more free goodies from you?”</p>
<p>“Oh, shut up!” Louis says with a laugh and swats Harry’s arm. Harry chuckles as they walk along the small gravel path that leads them along the coastline.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0049"><h2>49. STARBUCKS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>„Hello guys, are you ready? Jeremy is waiting for you in the car, we should go! The paparazzi are almost there, and the time slot is quite limited today!”</p>
<p>“Just a second Rob!” Louis yells and tries to find his phone. He finally finds it under his covers and puts it into the pocket of his jeans. “I’ll pay at Starbucks, don’t forget about that,” Louis tells Harry as they both walk out of the bedroom.</p>
<p>“How could I forget,” Harry says amused. Rob calls Louis and Harry again. Louis rolls his eyes. “Let’s go or Rob will drag us out of the room.” They walk toward the entrance door. “It’s a pity that we can’t sit down at Starbucks. Look, this could be so nice but of course they don’t ask us about what we want.”</p>
<p>“I’d also like to sit down for a while but let’s focus on the positive side of it.”</p>
<p>“The positive side?”</p>
<p>“You told me that you brought board games with you, didn’t you?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” As they leave the room, Rob starts walking down the hallway. Harry and Louis follow him.</p>
<p>“We could play a board game after the stunt and have a good time in our room instead of sitting at Starbucks.”</p>
<p>“Oh, that would be nice.”</p>
<p>“Since our stay at the “Kings&amp;Queens” I’ve been really looking forward to playing with you again.”</p>
<p>Rob turns around. “The boys and some other crew members want to party tonight, won’t you join us?”</p>
<p>“I didn’t know about it, maybe. Would you like to party tonight instead of playing?” Louis asks Harry.</p>
<p>“Well, it will depend on my mood. But if you would want to go, you can go.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to decide now, the others will probably ask you again anyways,” Rob says.</p>
<p>“Probably.” Louis turns toward Harry and lowers his voice. “I’m a little bit nervous about the fact that we have to get more physical during the stunts. I don’t know how and when . . . I’m afraid it might look weird.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it. I’m going to do it in first place and if you feel like doing something, don’t hesitate. It will be okay for me, no matter what you do.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to be nervous. We’ll go inside, buy our stuff and walk out. Easy.” He gives Louis a reassuring smile.</p>
<p>“I hope so.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, just don’t think about it too much.”</p>
<p>Luckily, there aren’t many people in the streets except for the paparazzi who take pictures of Harry and Louis as they’re walking into Starbucks. Harry opens the door for Louis and lets him walk in first. Two of the paparazzi enter too and position themselves near the entrance. The others stay outside. There are just a few people in the café. Harry and Louis walk toward the counter and check the menu. Harry tells the guy behind the counter what he wants and then it’s Louis’ turn. While they’re waiting for their order, Harry puts his hand onto the small of Louis’ back and bends down a little bit. “Thanks for the invitation,” he whispers into Louis’ ear. “And what I wanted to tell you is that you look really good today.”</p>
<p>Louis feels fluttered by Harry’s words. “Oh . . . thank you,” he responds and flushes a little bit as he looks him in the eyes. Have his eyes always looked as beautiful as today? Harry gives Louis a smile, then takes his hand away. While they’re still waiting, two girls come over to and ask for a picture. Rob takes two for the girls. After some small-talk, Harry and Louis leave Starbucks. The paparazzi follow Harry and Louis to their car and don’t stop photographing when Jeremy drives away. After Harry and Louis have persuaded Jeremy to take a detour to the nearest Mc Donald’s restaurant, they come home to their hotel room with two big bags filled with food. After eating, Louis leans back in his chair, patting his tummy. “Oh god,” he moans, “I’m so . . . full.” Louis exhales audible. “But it was great. I’ve been craving Mc Donald’s for a long time, so this was perfect.”</p>
<p>“True. I loved it.”</p>
<p>Louis giggles. “But don’t blame me later!”</p>
<p>“I won’t, I promise. I will have to work out tomorrow morning to burn all those calories but for now, I’m pleased.”</p>
<p>“But you won’t force me to accompany you, will you?”</p>
<p>“I won’t, don’t worry.”</p>
<p>“Thank god.”</p>
<p>“By the way, you did really well. I had the impression that you forgot about the stunt while we were waiting there.” Harry puts the waste into one of the huge, brown paper bags. “At least I felt you were less nervous.”</p>
<p>“It was okay, yeah.”</p>
<p>“Do you want to party tonight?”</p>
<p>“Not really. What about you?”</p>
<p>“I’d rather stay here. I’m not in the mood to go out.”</p>
<p>“Are you in the mood to play?”</p>
<p>“I’d love that and I’ll make us some tea, if that’s okay?”</p>
<p>“Perfect.”</p>
<p>Minutes later, Harry and Louis sit at the table opposite each other. Secretly, Louis is glad that Harry decided against going out. It feels familiar being with him and also Louis wanted to spend time with him alone. As Louis looks at Harry as he’s thinking about his next move, he suddenly remembers how Harry’s hand felt on his back and he wants to feel it again. This thought distracts him in a way he can’t ignore and there’s a certain feeling of excitement noticeable in his guts. He had already felt similar some time ago but then he thought he was just overreacting or tired, so he pushed his thoughts away. But now that it feels different, it makes him doubt. It felt wrong then, and it feels wrong now and on top, it confuses Louis a lot. Harry somehow attracts Louis and that’s not imagination. He felt that way when they laid in bed the other day, the day when he looked at Harry’s torso and traced his skin with his fingertips.</p>
<p>“Louis? Lou?”</p>
<p>“Oh sorry, what?”</p>
<p>“You’re not paying attention.” Harry gives Louis a small smile and points at the game. “Is everything okay?”</p>
<p>Louis looks at Harry and blinks. “Yeah . . . I’m okay.”</p>
<p>“You seem tired. We can stop playing and go to bed. What do you think?”</p>
<p>Has Harry always been so caring? Louis really doesn’t know what’s happening with him, so he nods. “Well . . . maybe . . . would you mind?”</p>
<p>“Not at all.” Harry puts the little figures and the cards into the box again. “You can get ready for bed if you want. I’ll tidy everything.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”  </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0050"><h2>50. FEELINGS, KISSES AND INSECURITITES</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Louis walks out of the bathroom, he rubs his eyes and yawns. Just in that second, he collides with Harry in the hallway. “Oh sorry!” Louis says as he trips over Harry’s feet and almost falls. Harry catches him quickly and puts both of his hands onto Louis hips. His touch feels warm and like some natural reaction, Louis puts his arms around Harry’s waist loosely. Harry gives him a warm smile but stays quiet. The intensity of his look is deep, it feels as if Harry is looking directly into his soul. Louis wants to turn away, but also to get lost in Harry’s eyes. “What do you think about our practise?” Harry asks quietly, stepping a little bit closer. His voice sounds deep and raspy that it does something to Louis. Yes, he would love to kiss Harry right now but he needs Harry to start because he’s too intimidated. Nobody has ever had that effect on him and somehow, Louis wants to hide. He can feel his cheeks flush as he puts his forehead onto Harry’s chest in a gesture of shyness. What the fuck? He has never behaved like that with guys before, what is happening? He doesn’t recognize himself anymore but also, he feels paralyzed, like some kind of robot. Never has someone intimidated him like Harry does right now. Suddenly, Louis feels Harry’s finger under his chin, pushing it up gently. “Only if you want to, of course,” he says quietly. His voice sounds like velvet and Louis’ heart jumps when Harry’s face comes closer.</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Louis almost whispers as he feels Harry’s lips close to his. Harry barely touches them first, then places a small, soft kiss onto Louis’ lips. Harry lets go of Louis and walks into the bathroom.</p>
<p>Before Harry closes the door, Louis turns around and leans onto the doorframe. “That was lame,” he jokes to overplay his nervousness but just in this moment, he regrets what he has said. What the hell? Harry’s presence drives him crazy – but why now? Why today?</p>
<p>“Oh really?” Harry half-laughs. “Maybe you should show me how to, you sassy boy.” He stands at the sink and takes his tooth brush. “Do you think you can do it better?” Harry asks cheekily as he’s squeezing toothpaste onto his pink toothbrush.</p>
<p>“Maybe?”</p>
<p>“You can show me that when I’ve finished my routine.”</p>
<p>Louis just gives Harry a smile, then goes back to the bedroom. He feels a little bit nervous because he’s not sure if Harry was joking or if he really wants to kiss him again. Nevertheless, Louis thinks of Matt and the bad conscience kicks in but when Harry walks into the room, Louis forgets about everything. The way he walks and how he looks in the dimmed light . . . Louis feels attracted and he wants to be held by Harry, just that. The thought almost makes him flush as he tries to push it away. It’s not right to think that. Harry slips under his covers and pulls them up to his tummy. He looks at Louis and gives him a smile. “You can try it again, love,” Harry proposes as he leans back against his pillows. “It might help you not to be too nervous when we have to kiss or be close to each other. It’s always good to be prepared.”</p>
<p>“Yeah I get it,” Louis says with a smile. He gets up from his position and kneels down on his bed but he doesn’t come closer to Harry. He just looks at him as he’s laying against his pillows with his bare torso, his messy hair and his pretty face - as if he was a painting. His beauty intimidates Louis and again, he doesn’t dare to start. He wants to feel Harry’s lips on his again, he wants to feel Harry’s touch but he just can’t move. Harry looks perfect, like someone he’s not allowed to touch, like an expensive piece of art in a museum. Louis suddenly wants to throw himself at Harry, to sit on his lap and kiss him. He could do it, he totally could. He wants to, but at the same time something holds him back. It’s the same feeling he had a few days ago and Louis feels stupid for allowing his mind to control him like that.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong, Lou?” Harry asks. He sits up a little bit and gives Louis a soft look. Louis bites his lip and looks at his hands. He doesn’t budge. “Is it because of your boyfriend?”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head no. “It’s not that.”</p>
<p>“What is it then?”</p>
<p>“I feel stupid.”</p>
<p>“Hey,” Harry says, “don’t say that. You can be honest with me, always. Even when you’re pissed.”</p>
<p>Louis can’t help himself but smile. “Thanks. Promise that you won’t laugh?”</p>
<p>“I promise.”</p>
<p>Louis takes a deep breath. “You’re so beautiful and . . . I don’t dare touching you . . . I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“Thank you for calling me beautiful, Lou but . . . you don’t have to be afraid of anything. Just relax and don’t think too much.”</p>
<p>“If that would be easy with you in front of me.”</p>
<p>“Hey . . . it’s just me. No worries.” Harry pushes his hair back and smiles. He looks cute and sexy at once. Louis bites his lower lip. “Haven’t you kissed some of your friends when you were at school? We sometimes played spin the bottle and kissed. Maybe you’re nervous because you’re afraid it will be staged but if we practise it shouldn’t be a problem. If you want you can kiss me all the time, I don’t mind. If that helps?” Harry smiles and Louis does too. “I love kissing anyways and I like you, so it shouldn’t be so hard to feel comfortable, what do you think?”</p>
<p>It’s easier to talk at night, Louis thinks. “Yeah . . . maybe. I don’t know.”</p>
<p>Harry turns to the left and switches off the lights completely. Now the room is only illuminated slightly by the street lights that partly shine through the windows. Harry sits down opposite Louis and looks him in the eyes. Louis can feel his heartbeat increasing slightly. “Are you nervous?” Harry asks as if he knew. Louis presses his lips together and nods. “Then close your eyes,” he tells Louis quietly and Louis obliges. His heart hammers in his chest and it feels like minutes until he feels Harry’s lips on his. They feel soft and Louis immediately kisses back gently. When Harry pulls back, Louis opens his eyes and looks into Harry’s face that is still very close. They don’t talk as they look each other in the eyes and in the next second, Louis presses his lips onto Harry’s again, moving his mouth gently against his. “That was nice,” Harry smiles after they stop kissing. He lays down again with the covers pulled up to his waist.</p>
<p>“It was.” Louis also gets back under his covers. “I was so nervous.”</p>
<p>“That’s why we should practise to reduce the nervousness during the stunts.”</p>
<p>“Weren’t you nervous?”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a small smile. “Just a tiny bit but I like you, that makes it a lot easier.”</p>
<p>“You’re a good kisser, Harold.”</p>
<p>“You are too.”</p>
<p>The moment Harry says that, Louis wants to kiss him again but since Harry doesn’t move closer, Louis dismisses the thought. “Have you checked your Twitter today?” he asks instead.</p>
<p>“Yeah. They’ve already discovered the pictures. I read a comment that said we looked cute together.”</p>
<p>“What a crazy world. It’s strange that stunting with you has become almost normal like performing or vocal coaching for me.”</p>
<p>“You’ve improved a lot, except for starting our kissing practise,” Harry giggles.</p>
<p>“Shut up, Harold. It wasn’t that bad.”</p>
<p>“I lied. It was awful.”</p>
<p>“Wanker!” Louis says and tries to hit Harry’s head playfully but Harry’s reacts fast. He grabs Louis’ wrist with a strong grip. Louis tries to free his hand by getting up but Harry is too quick, grabbing the other one too. He pulls Louis on top of him and Louis can’t do anything about it since Harry is way stronger than him. Louis straddles Harry’s hips, trying not to lose balance. “You’re terrible,” he half-laughs. Harry smirks, his eyes locked with Louis’. “Say something!” Louis demands but Harry doesn’t respond. He pulls him closer so that his arms touch the mattress beneath his pillow. Louis can’t move. He’s only inches away from Harry’s face and he feels the butterflies raising in his tummy again. Harry puts his hand onto the back of Louis’ head, gently pushing him down until their lips touch for the third time today. Louis doesn’t hesitate and kisses Harry immediately. Louis’ lips move against Harry’s slowly and after some seconds, Louis lets his tongue explore Harry’s lips and Harry responds without hesitation. He lets go of Louis’ arms and gets up, holding Louis’ back but not breaking the kiss. Harry’s breath is hot against him and the kissing gets deeper and more intense. Louis has always been a fan of French kissing and Harry is definitely an expert. He doesn’t think anymore when Harry bends his head so that Louis has easy access to his neck. Louis buries his hands into Harry’s curls to hold them up and starts placing kisses onto Harry’s sharp jawline, ear and his exposed neck. Harry lets out a quiet moan as Louis sucks on the spot below his earlobe but suddenly he turns his head away, takes Louis hand and pulls it down. “We should stop,” he says seriously. Louis’s cheeks get hot and a wave of adrenaline rushes through his body.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry that you didn’t like it.” Louis feels awful. He shouldn’t have kissed Harry that way. He leans back a little bit and looks at Harry’s chest that goes up and down faster than usual. He can also feel Harry’s bulge under the cover. Fuck? He’s half-hard, too.</p>
<p>Harry shakes his head. “No, don’t say that.” He gives Louis a smile. “It was the best kiss I’ve had in months,” he adds quietly. His voice isn’t angry or full of regret. It’s confusing.</p>
<p>“But you wanted me to stop.”</p>
<p>“No but yes.”</p>
<p>Louis is still sitting on Harry’s thighs, watching him pushing back his curly hair. He frowns. “No but yes?”</p>
<p>“You have a boyfriend, Louis. It’s not fair and I can’t kiss you like that just for fun and fuck, this <em>was</em> fun.”</p>
<p>Louis gets up from Harry’ thighs. He didn’t think of Matt at all and as bad and inappropriate the thought is . . . he wouldn’t have stopped but he knows Harry is right. The problem is that Louis has enjoyed kissing Harry a lot, maybe more than he should have. “But it was you who wanted to practise.” Louis is disappointed.</p>
<p>“Yeah I know and you were amazing but . . . that was more than we should have done. He’ll visit you next week and I can’t keep this up, knowing that I’ll have to look him in the eyes. This was more than practise and that’s not okay.”</p>
<p>“Hm.” Louis moves away and gets under his covers. It’s weird but he feels rejected. Harry takes his phone and Louis lays there in silence, looking out of the window. He can’t stop thinking of kissing Harry again but he knows it’s wrong, at least if they did it like that again. After a while, he turns toward Harry. “Can I at least give you a goodnight kiss like . . . the way I think it would be enough for stunting?” He would do anything to feel Harry’s lips on his again and he feels braver in the dark.</p>
<p>“It’s your decision.” Louis places a small kiss on Harry’s parted lips. The urge to use his tongue against Harry’s mouth is there but Louis decides not to do it. Maybe Harry was just lying because Harry didn’t want Louis to feel uncomfortable, do hr used this little lie. “Goodnight, Lou,” Harry says he turns around.</p>
<p>“Goodnight, Harold.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0051"><h2>51. MATT'S VISIT</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Early in the morning, Matt lands in Phoenix. Louis isn’t at the airport since Sia has given him a list of rules he’s obliged to follow for the duration of Matt’s stay. One of them is not be seen in public places with him. Jeremy and Rob went to the airport to pick Matt up who fell asleep in the car. In Louis’ room he lays down on the bed to rest. “Are you very tired?” Louis asks him. He knows that jet-lags aren’t easy to deal with. He flops down next to Matt.</p>
<p>“I am,” he yawns, “but Rob told me to stay awake until the evening. He said it would be easier to adapt to the time difference so I’m trying to do that.” He turns toward Louis and scoots closer. “I’m so glad to be here with you. I missed you so fucking much.” He puts his head onto Louis’ tummy and Louis puts his hand onto his.</p>
<p>“It’s a wonder that Sia allowed you to come.”</p>
<p>“Do you think there’s a catch in it?”</p>
<p>“Probably the set of rules he gave us.”</p>
<p>“Will Harry be here during my stay?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>Matt’s face falls immediately. “Oh no,” he says quietly, disappointment clear in his voice, “I thought it could just be us two. Maybe he’s the catch.”</p>
<p>“No, he’s not. You’ll like him, he’s nice.”</p>
<p>Matt frowns. “Since when have you changed your mind? Some weeks ago you talked differently about him.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Louis sighs. “I was an asshole and I didn’t treat him well. I refused to get to know him and since I hated him so much. I was pissed at him, at Sia and the circumstances in general but I understood that it’s not Harry’s fault. In fact, he’s just doing his job . . . like me.” Louis lets his hand rake through Matt’s blonde hair. “I’ve learned that by now. You know how stubborn I can be.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s true. When will he be around?”</p>
<p>“Today, for the concert.”</p>
<p>“But he won’t stay in a room with us, will he?”</p>
<p>“No, he won’t.” Louis still hasn’t told Matt that he sometimes shares a room with Harry.</p>
<p>“At least, so we can still have some privacy. I don’t want to share you with him.”</p>
<p>Louis pulls his hand away and gets up so that Matt moves too. “You aren’t sharing me with him or anyone. That’s bullshit.” Louis hates those discussions about Harry.</p>
<p>Matt sits down with crossed legs. He takes Louis’ hand in his and traces the skin with his thumb. “Sorry,” he says. “I know you told me not to think about him and everything but I can’t.” He looks Louis in the eyes with a sad expression. “I think about you and him all the time.”</p>
<p>Louis sighs. “We should do something to distract you from your thoughts. What do you think about swimming? I still have about two hours left before our appointments start. The hotel swimming pool is great, you’ll love it.”</p>
<p>Matt gives him a small smile. “Okay,” he nods. “You’re probably right.”</p>
<p>Matt and Louis spend some time at the swimming pool and after that, Louis and his band have to complete different appointments. Matt accompanies Louis to most of them and spends the rest of the day at the hotel. Late in the afternoon, Jeremy drives Louis and Matt to the venue. “I’m so excited for the show,” Matt tells Louis as they’re on their way to the dressing rooms. “I haven’t seen a show in ages, well at least a live show.”</p>
<p>Louis puts an arm around his boyfriend. “And I’m glad that you’re here.” He gives him a kiss. “You’ll like it. The atmosphere is so different in America since the venues are bigger. Not better, just different.”</p>
<p>“I can’t wait. Although I’d rather be with you only.”</p>
<p>“I know, love.” Louis opens the door to his dressing room and puts his bag down. “We can be together later. Are you hungry? The catering is great, we could have dinner before the show.”</p>
<p>“I’m hungry, yeah. I hope they’ve made a yummy dessert.”</p>
<p>“Oh Matt, you have no idea. Everything they offer is yummy, everything and always.”</p>
<p>After eating, Louis and Matt join the other boys for the mandatory table tennis match before the show. Louis seems to lose the ping pong ball more than he usually does. He hits it into the net a few times so that Zayn and Niall start mocking him playfully. Still, the game is joyful and fun for Louis and also Matt seems to enjoy the game. When Louis hits the net for the third time within the game, Zayn stops playing. “Come on, Louis! What’s wrong? You play like a beginner!” Zayn holds the small white ball in his hands and places his bat the right way. “Concentrate! Does Matt distract you too much?” Everyone laughs and Matt hits Louis’ bum with his hand.</p>
<p>“Now he does,” Louis says and gives Matt a smirk.</p>
<p>“You need to get out of here. Louis has lost his ability to play,” Niall jokes.</p>
<p>“I agree,” Liam and Zayn say unison what makes everyone laugh.</p>
<p>“Not true,” Matt protests, “I’m his lucky charm!”</p>
<p>“Then do your job well at least!” Louis shouts playfully. As the game continues, Louis plays a little bit better but he stays unfocused as he can’t do anything about it. Actually, it’s not Matt who is distracting him but Harry or more specific: his arrival. Harry will be at the venue soon and that makes Louis nervous in a positive and a negative way. On one hand he’s glad to see him again but on the other hand Louis is afraid of how he will behave around Harry with Matt being here. The feelings he has developed toward Harry are giving Louis a hard time. He remembers the kiss and how Harry held him close on his lap and the thought of that situation makes his tummy flutter. Louis worries about how he will react when he sees Harry, he’s afraid of what Matt will say and he’s afraid that he might not be able to interact with Harry the way he is used to when they’re alone. Louis hates himself for thinking that. He shouldn’t worry about these things, not at all. He should just focus on Matt, but he can’t. As he takes a quick look at his phone, he sees that Harry has messaged. All of a sudden, Louis gets overwhelmed by a queasy feeling in his stomach. “I think I should pause,” he says and puts the bat onto the table. “I feel a little dizzy.”</p>
<p>Matt walks over to Louis and puts his hand onto his shoulder. “If you need fresh air we could go outside for a walk?”</p>
<p>“No, it’s okay. Maybe I ate too much.”</p>
<p>“Not too much, too fast!” Niall corrects Louis and earns a friendly nudge.</p>
<p>“Don’t cross your bridges before you come to them, Niall,” Louis says with a small smile. Then he turns toward Matt again.</p>
<p>“Are you sure? I’d really want to-,”</p>
<p>“No, stay here.” Louis tone is slightly harsh. “Please,” he adds softly as he notices that his reaction wasn’t okay.</p>
<p>“Oh . . . okay. As you want.” Matt takes Louis’ bat. “If I don’t win here, I’ll win tonight,” he whispers into Louis’ ear.</p>
<p>Louis gives Matt a smile. “You’re such a poser,” he says and slaps Matt’s bum as he did earlier. Matt whines playfully but smirks.</p>
<p>“Sorry for being rude,” Louis excuses himself.</p>
<p>“It’s okay. Call me if you need me.”</p>
<p>“I will. Now go and show them your power.”</p>
<p>Matt gets onto his position. “You should know I’ve played table tennis professionally for three years.”</p>
<p>Niall whistles. “That was quite an announcement!”</p>
<p>“Ha!” Zayn says loudly, “I’m not a person you can intimidate with words. Come on, Matt, let’s play, not talk.” Everyone cheers and then the match begins. Louis watches the beginning of the game from the door. Zayn is good, really good but after some time, Matt gets the upper hand. His movements are fast, calculated and precise. As a result, he wins the first round within seconds only.</p>
<p>“Oh wow,” Zayn says as he props himself up on the table. “That was impressive.” He walks over to Matt to give him high five. “Now it’s Niall’s turn – or maybe you can try to play against Liam <em>and</em> Niall at the same time?”</p>
<p>“If they want?” </p>
<p>“Yeah, come on,” Liam says and pats Niall’s back. “It’s a challenge.” At that point, Louis leaves. He can still hear them talking as he slowly walks down the hallway.</p>
<p>“A challenge we’ll lose but I’ll try my best,” Niall half-laughs.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0052"><h2>52. TORN</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis actually goes outside to get some fresh air. He needs time to think. Matt is here and Louis is happy about that but he can’t get rid of the feeling that he is also looking forward to seeing Harry again and already, the fact that he won’t be able to sleep in a bed with him makes Louis feel as if there was something missing. It’s such a chaos in his head. If he’s honest to himself, he wants to share a room with Harry tonight. “What the fuck,” Louis mutters under his breath as he hits one of the stage trucks with his fist. What the hell is he thinking? He paces around for a while, then looks at his phone again. Harry should arrive every other minute and the mere thought of it makes him feel even more nervous and excited. The last time he felt like that was when . . . oh God, no. No, this must be imagination. Louis walks around in circles like a wild animal in a cage but it doesn’t help. The feeling in his guts isn’t imagination, it’s real. He walks inside again and sits down on one of the chairs in the hallway the crew uses to enter the venue.</p>
<p>The time until Harry arrives feels like hours. When he finally steps through the door, Louis’ heart jumps and he can feel butterflies raising in his tummy immediately. “Harry!” Louis nearly yells as he wraps his arms around the taller guy and pulls him close. Harry wraps his arms around Louis, too.</p>
<p>“It’s so nice to see you again,” Harry says. He pulls back and shoulders his bag he has put down before. “I started missing our time together.”</p>
<p>“The stunts?”</p>
<p>“No, no. The other part.” He gives Louis a smile. “I checked Twitter again but without you it wasn’t fun. I also watched some videos of your last concerts but there’s nothing better than attending your shows so I’m glad to be back.”</p>
<p>They both walk along the hallway into the dressing room. Louis closes the door behind them. It’s quiet for a moment, then Louis speaks. “Matt is here. I doubt that we can check Twitter and stuff.” Louis feels guilty. “He doesn’t want to see any of it.”</p>
<p>Harry puts his bag down and takes the jacket off. “Oh, sorry . . . I forgot about that. We can have a good time with him then without Twitter.” The golden satin shirt Harry is wearing looks amazing on him, paired with the tight black jeans and his shiny ankle boots. His look is a masterpiece. Louis has never seen someone looking that gorgeous and graceful at once.</p>
<p>“Oh wow . . . you . . . you look stunning,” Louis says. He has never seen Harry like that and with his loose, curly hair he just looks like a Greek god.</p>
<p>“Thank you love, so do you.” Harry smiles. “Should we go?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>Harry laughs. “You’re so funny. Come on! I bet the others are occupied with playing table tennis and I want to play too.” He walks toward the door but Louis doesn’t follow. “What?” he says as he turns around.</p>
<p>“I don’t want to go.”</p>
<p>Harry frowns. “What should we do then?” He doesn’t seem to get it.</p>
<p>Louis takes one step forward, keeping eye contact with Harry. He doesn’t look away when he taps his lips twice with his index finger. Louis is nervous again. He wants to feel Harry’s lips on his, if only for a second.</p>
<p>“Do you think it’s the right place to practise?” Harry’s voice sounds serious but also playful.</p>
<p>“Shut up and kiss me, you idiot,” Louis says as he walks closer. He puts his arms onto Harry’s hips and presses a small kiss onto Harry’s parted lips. Harry kisses back, only a little bit before he pulls back.</p>
<p>“That was brave,” Harry giggles and earns a nudge from Louis. “I think we’re well prepared now.”</p>
<p>“We’ll see. Maybe so, maybe not.”</p>
<p>Harry lets out a quiet laugh. “I kind of missed you and your sass last week.”</p>
<p>“It’s all for science, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Pretty much.”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>“Harry!” Zayn yells as spots Harry stepping through the door. He immediately stops playing, walks toward him and greets him with a cool handshake. “Great that you’re back! Did you miss us?”</p>
<p>“Absolutely, I literally counted the days until I could be back!</p>
<p>“That was because of Louis’ voice, am I right?” Zayn jokes. “It wasn’t really us.”</p>
<p>“Well, Louis’ voice was part of it but actually, I’m very happy to be with you on tour again for a few days. I love the trouble.”</p>
<p>“That’s cool.”</p>
<p>Hey Niall, hey Liam!” Harry greets the others who are about to come over. Matt is leaning against the wall next to them and Harry walks over to him. “I’m Harry. Nice to meet you.” He reaches his hand out.</p>
<p>Matt shakes his hand. “I’m Matt. Nice to meet you too.”</p>
<p>“Are you excited for the show?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Cool, mate. I love all of their voices but Louis’ is just the best one.”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t contradict here.”</p>
<p>“Harry, hurry up! Stop brownnosing here! Take a bat and play!” Louis yells.</p>
<p>Harry holds up his hands. “Okay, okay, do I have a choice?”</p>
<p>Louis chuckles. “So, is it Matt, Harry and I against you three now?”</p>
<p>Zayn nods. “Exactly. But we’ll not all play together at once.”</p>
<p>“Of course not.”</p>
<p>“Alright,” Harry says cheerfully, “let the table tennis championships begin! Who’s first?”</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>After the game everyone goes to the catering area and the band, Matt and Harry sit down at a table with the musicians and some security guards. The atmosphere is cheerful and happy, everyone is talking to each other and time flies. Soon, Louis and the others have to get dressed and get their hair and makeup done. Matt and Harry watch the show from the VIP box although Matt stays more in the back since he’s not allowed to be seen. As soon as the show is over, Jeremy drives everyone back to the hotel. “Should we shower and meet at the bar for half an hour or so?” Harry proposes when they’re on their way.</p>
<p>“Are you okay with that?” Louis asks Matt.</p>
<p>“Well, yeah. If it doesn’t take too long?”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry,” Harry says. “I know you want to spend time with Louis but also, I’d like to get to know you too and I thought the best conversations are made in the a.m. or . . . shortly before that time.” He gives Matt a friendly smile.</p>
<p>“Are you tired?” Louis asks his boyfriend.</p>
<p>“A little bit but I’d like to spend time with you so it will be okay.”</p>
<p>“Great,” Harry says. “Let’s meet at the bar in about fifteen minutes.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0053"><h2>53. DOUBTS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“You were quiet, love,” Louis tells Matt as they come back to their room where they get ready for bed.</p>
<p>“I thought you were happy about me being with you.”</p>
<p>“I am happy.”</p>
<p>Matt nuzzles into his covers and turns toward Louis who is about to dim the lights. He exhales audibly before he speaks. “Please don’t be mad at me for what I’ll say now, promise?”</p>
<p>Louis leans against his pillows. “Tell me.”</p>
<p>“I’ve noticed that . . . whenever you talk to Harry, you kind of change.”</p>
<p>“I change?”</p>
<p>Matt rubs his eyes. “Yes you . . . your voice gets softer and I feel like you kind of ignore me when he’s nearby. Well, maybe ignoring is a pretty harsh word but you . . . I feel like you would want to be with him instead of me.”</p>
<p>“That’s not true.”</p>
<p>“It’s what I feel. When you talked to each other at the bar, it felt like you were alone with him and I was just sitting there, feeling stupid.”</p>
<p>“Harry is very attentive, that’s all.”</p>
<p>“But this is different.”</p>
<p>“Harry talked with you a lot and he wanted to know so many things about you. Do you really have the impression that I was ignoring you? Or that Harry ignored you?”</p>
<p>“I feel like the third wheel and my time here hasn’t even started yet.”</p>
<p>Louis scoots closer to Matt. In his eyes, everything was fine at the bar and he really doesn’t understand Matt’s complaint. “I’m sorry that you feel like this. It wasn’t my intention and I’m also sure it wasn’t Harry’s. He really wanted to get to know you better.”</p>
<p>“When you first told me about this stunt, I thought I could handle it. I mean, I thought this was weird but your reaction to it made it easier for me. The first time you told me about stunting you were pissed as fuck. You were angry and you hated the whole idea of stunting with him. You were so dismissive about this clause that I was sure it wouldn’t affect our relationship although it felt strange.”</p>
<p>“Do you think it has affected our relationship?” Louis asks, an inner voice telling him that it might be true concerning the feelings he was confused by earlier at the venue.</p>
<p>“Yes, and it hurts me.”</p>
<p>“It’s only been some weeks since I was forced into this, it’s also new to me.”</p>
<p>“Still there’s something that has changed and I can’t quite put my finger on it. All I can tell you is that I feel how you’re drifting away from me, from us, from what we had. It drives me crazy to see that you share all those moments with someone who plays in the same league as you and I feel like I can’t compete.”</p>
<p>“Compete with what? What moments are you talking about? I’m not in a relationship with Harry, it’s a job.”</p>
<p>“It might be a job in your eyes, okay. But the photos tell another story. The fact that you’re together with him more than I am while I’m at home. . . I don’t know. Everything combined gives me a hard time and it’s just impossible for me to ignore what I read between the lines.”</p>
<p>“The photos are planned, they’re fake. We have to look credible, Matt. That’s the reason why you’re here now.”</p>
<p>“For me, fake looks different. They might have been at first but . . . have you seen the recent ones? I know I shouldn’t look at them but they’re everywhere! They’re on covers of gossip magazines and when I went on the tube some days ago, guess who appeared. It’s just . . . terrible. You two are everywhere.” His voice sounds sad. “He’s in your league, I’m not.”</p>
<p>“That’s stupid, don’t say that.”</p>
<p>“How is that stupid? He’s famous, just like you. He’s successful, just like you and I’m just a student who struggles with everything: money, my relationship, my career.” Louis doesn’t know what to say so he stays quiet, staring at the ceiling. “Have you seen the latest pictures? Have you?” Before Louis can answer, Matt gets up in bed and leans against the pillows. “The last ones were the worst.” He rubs his face and exhales audibly. “You touched him the way you used to touch me, Louis!” he almost yells.</p>
<p>“I haven’t seen any of them yet.”</p>
<p>“In my eyes you two look like you’re really close and that is something I can’t handle. Even my little sister asked me if Harry was your new boyfriend – and that was weeks ago!”</p>
<p>“That’s the plan, Matt. We’re supposed to look like that and that’s the reason why you’re here! People are supposed to believe this.”</p>
<p>“I wish I wasn’t. You look like boyfriends.”</p>
<p>He’s not my boyfriend.” Louis says but his words don’t match his thoughts. There’s a strange feeling in his guts that makes his tummy turn a little bit as he says that. Maybe it’s because he feels awful, maybe because he wants to be closer to Harry than he would ever admit right now. What the hell.</p>
<p>“Oh really?” Matt says sarcastically. “Then explain your looks, his looks, the body language and everything else to me! Do you think you could do that to make me feel better?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know . . . I . . . I mean-,”</p>
<p>“See? I knew there was something wrong. No matter what you say . . . it probably won’t help but make it worse. You two look like a couple and that is something I can’t ignore. If those photos were fake, you would be quite good actors – both of you.”</p>
<p>“We’re <em>not</em> a couple,” Louis repeats. “How many times shall I tell you this until you believe me? I don’t know what else to say to you and I know I’m repeating myself but we’re just doing a job.”</p>
<p>Matt shakes his head. “It’s not that easy. Maybe you haven’t noticed since you’ve been busy all day long but . . . since last time when you were home, we haven’t talked or messaged as much as before. When this stunt started you called me on a regular basis to tell me how much you hated him and the stunt itself but at some point, that changed. I think it even started before, that I had the impression that your anger dissolved slowly. Maybe you got used to it or . . . who knows. Only you know the truth but what I’m sure of is that this whole thing hurts me tremendously. You have no idea how much I missed you all the time and although you’re here next to me, I miss you. I miss you and I miss how it was before – how we were before.”</p>
<p>Louis is torn, absolutely torn inside as he reaches out for Matt’s hand. He knows Matt is right with most of the things he said. He can’t admit that because he is as confused as Matt is. Harry just won’t leave his mind, even now. Louis feels for Matt. It’s not that he doesn’t like him anymore. Louis scoots closer to Matt and wraps his arm around his waist. If he’s honest to himself, Louis can’t quite differentiate if he does this because he really wants to comfort Matt or because his bad conscience is present. Maybe both. Somehow, Matt can’t relax. Louis feels that he’s stiff against his body and he pulls away after a few seconds.</p>
<p>“Sorry, Lou . . . I can’t pretend that everything is okay.” He turns around in bed so that his back is turned toward Louis. Louis feels terrible, really terrible. He lays in his bed, thinking about how he could make the situation better. After a long while, Louis gets up from his bed and walks over to Matt’s side. He sits down and puts his hand onto Matt’s back. Matt opens his eyes but he doesn’t look Louis in the eyes. To Louis’ surprise, he doesn’t push him away. “I’m sorry that you’re hurt.” Louis lets his hand rest on Matt’s hip. “Do you think you can forgive me?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know,” Matt mumbles. He stays quiet as Louis walks back to his side of the bed. After a while, Matt turns toward him. He still looks sad. “Can you hold me, maybe?” he asks quietly.</p>
<p>“Yes, of course. Come here.” Matt scoots closer to Louis, his back pressed against Louis so that he can spoon him from behind. Louis likes the intimate feeling this position gives him and they both fall asleep like this.</p>
<p>In his dream, Louis pushes Matt off a cliff. Just after it has happened, Sia appears as the devil he is, grinning at Louis and telling him that he just wanted Louis to get rid of Matt to push Harry’s career. Then Sophie walks towards Louis too, telling him that she would let everyone know about the kisses with Harry. People would despise Louis for cheating on Matt and lying to him while he was waiting for Louis at home. After that Louis’ career would come to an end abruptly, Harry would dismiss Louis in the end and Harry would be the winner of this battle eventually.</p>
<p>Louis wakes with a start from this nightmare. It takes him some time to realize that he was just dreaming. Matt is sleeping next to him peacefully, his breathing going slow and steady. Louis turns onto his back. The last thing he wants is to hurt Matt on purpose. He hasn’t deserved that, not at all but apparently, harm has been already done. Louis thinks about being completely honest with Matt but what is the truth? Does he love Matt the way he did? Does he love him the way he should? Are his feelings for Harry stronger than they were before? What kind of feelings are they? Would Louis rather be with Harry than with Matt if he could choose? Would Harry want to be with Louis? Is the whole situation affecting him so much because it’s something new he has never experienced? What if he’s just imagining things? Yes, Louis finds Harry physically attractive but what if he just sees him as some kind of an adventure? Is it that that makes it that special and exciting? The fact that they should just pretend, that it’s supposed to be something unreal seeming real? Does he love Matt but maybe he’s just totally consumed by Harry like someone who doesn’t see anything because they’re stuck in dense fog? If someone would ask Louis to decide between them now, he couldn’t. He really couldn’t and also, he wouldn’t know what to tell both of them. He’s absolutely unsure about everything. His feelings are a mess, just like everything around him these days.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0054"><h2>54. A BUSY DAY</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning, Louis gets a wake-up call from Sophie quite early since they have to leave for New Orleans before lunchtime. Still, there is some time left. When Matt wakes slowly, Louis nuzzles close to him and Matt wraps his arms around his boyfriend. “I’m glad that you are here,” Louis mumbles into Matt’s neck. “I’m sorry for giving you such a hard time. I don’t know what was wrong with me yesterday.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry for creating such a drama. Maybe I overreacted since it was too much yesterday and I was exhausted.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay,” Louis says quietly. Then they talk about random things and Louis calms down from his nightmare that was still present in his mind. What happened last night wasn’t easy for him to process and he’s glad that Matt seems to be okay again. Also, Louis does his best to be a good boyfriend to Matt and not make him feel unwanted because it’s not true. Louis wants him around. The only problem is that he also likes being with Harry in a certain way and that is the point. Around nine, Matt and Louis have breakfast and meet crew and band members in the breakfast room downstairs. Harry is nowhere to be seen. He also doesn’t appear after some time has passed and Louis asks himself where he might be.</p>
<p>“Lou, is something wrong?” Matt says, touching Louis’ arm.</p>
<p>“Huh?”</p>
<p>“You didn’t answer my last question.”</p>
<p>“Oh sorry, what was the question?” He really didn’t pay attention.</p>
<p>“There’s an ancient cemetery in New Orleans I’d like to visit with you, if you want. What do you think about it?”</p>
<p>“We can do that.”</p>
<p>“And there are so many other interesting sights such as old quarters and stuff.”</p>
<p>“Hm,” Louis mumbles as he puts cream cheese onto his bagel.</p>
<p>“You don’t sound very excited.”</p>
<p>Louis looks up. “No, no, it’s not that. I’ve just remembered that we aren’t allowed to be seen together and I’m thinking about if we could sneak out that easily.”</p>
<p>“Oh. I forgot about that. That’s shit.”</p>
<p>“Bullshit. But maybe we could manage it. I’ll think about it.” Louis gives Matt a smile. “But it’s fine. Tell me about what you want to visit. If we have time, we can try to do some sightseeing. I just don’t know what my plans are going to be there.”</p>
<p>Matt seems relieved as he starts telling Louis his ideas. Louis listens and agrees on most of the plans Matt is proposing. He usually doesn’t do a lot of sightseeing when they’re on tour, only if there’s enough time left. Mostly everyone is tired from travelling and the shows that end late at night. After Matt and Louis have finished their breakfast, they go to their room to pack their bags. As Louis looks at his phone, he notices that Harry has sent him a message.</p>
<p>
  <em>“Lou, I had to leave early this morning because my agency changed the plans. I’ll be with you for the next jobs and also, I’ll stay for the concert and the night. Have a nice journey to New Orleans. I already miss you, my working buddy.”</em>
</p>
<p>Louis looks at his phone and thinks. Does Harry really mean that he misses him or did he just write it like that? Louis sends a short text back. While Louis packs, Harry doesn’t leave his mind. Louis thinks about how nice it would be if he could have dinner with Harry or just sit down somewhere with him and talk. On their way to the airport, he thinks of texting him but doesn’t do it since Matt might see it and Louis wants to avoid any discussions concerning this topic. Also, he is too confused. Still.</p>
<p>When they arrive at their hotel in New Orleans, the band gets some vocal training first, then they have a lunch break. Since Matt and Louis want some privacy and they aren’t allowed to be seen outside the venues or the hotel, they call the room service that serves them an opulent lunch. After eating, the private trainer wants the band to go to the gym for a special power training. Matt accompanies Louis to the gym where he does his own exercises. Everyone stays busy until the early evening. After training, the boys shower and go to media training for about one hour. In between, Louis asks Rob to get Matt and him some fast food from Mc Donald’s as a surprise and Rob promises to do so.</p>
<p>It’s already dark when Louis comes back from work. Matt is laying on his bed with a shirt Louis gave him last time they were together. It makes Louis smile. “Hey Love, I’m back.” Louis walks over to Matt, puts his hand onto his back and gives him a small kiss onto his temple.</p>
<p>“Hey Lou,” Matt says as he turns around. “What happened? I was waiting for you.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry love. We had media training but now I’m free. I’ll have a quick shower and then we can have dinner, is that okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I’m hungry but I didn’t want to get something without you.”</p>
<p>“That’s sweet. I’ll be quick.” In the bathroom, Louis looks at his phone. Rob wanted to send him a text when he would leave Mc Donald’s. “I’ll be back in about fifteen minutes,” he wrote some minutes ago. Louis messages back, thanks him, undresses and gets under the shower. Shortly after Louis has finished showering, there’s a knock on the door. “Hey!” Louis says happily as he sees Rob standing in front of his door, two brown paper bags in his hands. He thanks Rob again and puts the bags onto the chest of drawers in the hallway. “How much was it? Do you have the bill?” Louis asks.</p>
<p>“Have a look yourself. Here it is.”</p>
<p>Louis takes the bill, looks at it and gets his wallet. “The rest is for you and your effort,” he says as he hands Rob thirty dollars.</p>
<p>“Are you sure?”</p>
<p>“Yes, please don’t try to change my mind.” He gives Rob a smile and a hug. “Thank you for buying it for us.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome. Sleep well and I’ll see you tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“You too. Bye!” Louis closes the door and grabs the bags. “Dinner is ready!” he yells as he walks over to the kitchen area and puts the bags onto the table.</p>
<p>“Have you ordered something?” Matt asks.</p>
<p>“Come here and have a look. What do you think?”</p>
<p>“Mc Donald’s? How?” Matt walks closer and sits down at the table. He grabs one of the bags and starts unpacking it.</p>
<p>“I asked Rob to get it for us because I wanted to surprise you.”</p>
<p>“That’s so cool, thank you! Is that one for me?”</p>
<p>Louis rips the other bag open and sits down too. “I bought everything twice and more than enough.” Louis sighs. “You deserve something nice since you’ve been waiting for me for such a long time and we couldn’t do anything exciting.”</p>
<p>“That’s lovely, thank you,” Matt says as he is about to open the first box. He takes a huge bite of his burger.</p>
<p>“What did you do meanwhile?” Louis puts the ketchup onto a small plate and puts it in the middle of the table so that they both can reach it. He dips three fries into it and shoves them into his mouth.</p>
<p>“I was a little bored, to be honest.” Matt takes some fries too. “I was waiting for you to come back so that we could sneak out but the more time passed, the more I lost hope. I don’t know. It wasn’t that fun without you.”</p>
<p>“I can understand that. I didn’t know about the appointments, really. But if you want, we could still take a walk after dinner?”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t want to.” Matt’s face looks disappointed. “Honestly, I thought we could spend more time together and do fun things but somehow it turned out that you’re occupied most of the time and also, you seem to be in a strange mood.”</p>
<p>“Strange mood?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” he mumbles. “You sometimes seem distant and lost in thought.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry that you feel that way. Would you like to do something else after dinner, maybe?”</p>
<p>“To be honest, I just want to be with you and that’s it. Does that sound stupid?”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head. “It doesn’t.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0055"><h2>55. NOT ALLOWED</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next morning after breakfast, Louis wants to do something fun for Matt. He decides to sneak out with him to visit the cemetery since this was his first idea. Louis knows he shouldn’t do that but he also doesn’t want Matt to just see hotels and venues during his stay. Also, he wants to show him that he cares – no matter if what Louis feels for Harry is still confusing him. No matter what, Matt deserves to be happy. They’ve been in a relationship for about two years now and Matt has always been there for Louis. Louis feels like he has to make up for everything that has gone wrong lately. It might not be enough, but still. In no case he wants Matt to feel rejected or make him think he doesn’t want him around. It’s really not that but Louis doesn’t know how to tell him that in a way that doesn’t make him look like an idiot after everything that has happened. He wants to do something for his boyfriend and he doesn’t care if someone notices. If so, he’ll take the consequences. For cases like that, Louis always carries some special clothes with him that aren’t his style but until now, they have always helped him to remain undetected whenever he wanted it.</p>
<p>On the way to the cemetery, Matt seems a little distant at first but his mood changes quickly when he sees the first ancient graves. Louis and Matt only talk about their impressions and it’s a nice time they spend at that unusual place. Nevertheless, Louis wants to return to the hotel as quickly as possible after visiting the cemetery. He knows Matt would rather stay longer and visit something else but Louis needs to be careful. If they’re out for too long, someone might notice. Louis orders a taxi to the cemetery and to Matt’s surprise, Louis asks the driver if he could do a detour through the old quarter of New Orleans. The driver also stops here and there for Matt to take some pictures. The little sightseeing trip goes well and Matt is happy when they return to the hotel. They have lunch at the restaurant together and for the first time, their conversation doesn’t involve Harry or the stunts at all.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0056"><h2>56. DISAPPOINTMENT</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Matt’s mood comes to a low again when Sophie comes by after lunchtime to tell Louis that he is going to stunt with Harry after the show spontaneously. Louis tries to look neutral since he doesn’t want to hurt Matt more than he already is but if he’s honest to himself, his heart jumps when she mentions Harry and the fact that he can spend time with him again lets his anticipation grow. Louis walks over to the table and takes a seat next to Sophie. “As you know, Harry was supposed to arrive about now but since his flight is delayed, we’ve postponed your job today to be sure it can take place. The new plan is that you’re going to a club after the show. The paparazzi are going to wait in front of the VIP entrance when you arrive and also when you leave. Jeremy will pick Harry up from the airport and after that you from the venue. I’ve already booked a VIP booth for you two that’s not too hidden so that the people could possibly spot you there. Make sure that you are seen most of the time so that people can take pictures or videos of you.”</p>
<p>For the first time, Louis isn’t completely pissed of Sophie and the fact that he’ll have to stunt doesn’t bother him at all. It feels more like they’re talking about going out for fun. “Okay. Will the drinks be free?”</p>
<p>“Yes, but don’t overdo it. You know that Mr Sia doesn’t want you to drink too much in public. He also told me to remind you of the physical aspect. He was satisfied about the Starbucks job and it should continue like this. The media has already picked that up. Do you have any questions?”</p>
<p>“How long do we have to stay there?”</p>
<p>“Two or three hours will be okay. As I’ve said, it’s important for you to be seen.”</p>
<p>“Good.”</p>
<p>Sophie leans back in her chair and gives Louis a smile. “When I met you the first time, I thought you were just a rude guy but now that you’ve changed, I’ve also changed my opinion about you.”</p>
<p>“I was pissed, that was all.”</p>
<p>She nods. “Yeah, the business can be hard.”</p>
<p>“I thought you wouldn’t care about me, us.”</p>
<p>“Well Louis . . . to be honest, I do care about you but in the end, everything has to be said and done – no matter if I personally like it or not.”</p>
<p>“I figured.” Louis pauses. “Sorry for being such a terrible client.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay. I think I can handle you well now,” Sophie says when she gets up. She puts his hand onto Louis’ shoulder. “Have a good show tonight. I’ll probably come and watch it too.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>“I have to go now. Bye Louis, bye Matt!”</p>
<p>“Bye,” Matt mumbles from the sofa. When Sophie is gone, Louis sits down on the armchair next to him. “I guess I can’t come to the club with you, can I?”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t think so.”</p>
<p>“You don’t want me to, do you?” he says quietly as he looks up from his phone. “I can feel it.”</p>
<p>Louis sits down next to Matt and rubs his shoulder. “Hey . . . it’s not that. Remember that we shouldn’t be seen together and when I work, I should be with Harry, not with you.”</p>
<p>Matt rolls his eyes. “Oh, thank you Louis, how lovely.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t mean it like that, sorry. I really didn’t.”</p>
<p>“I wonder why you gave me the ticket to come here, seriously.”</p>
<p>Louis sighs. “II told you that I couldn’t be around you all the time.”</p>
<p>“Yes Louis, you told me that. But that didn’t include you being distant and showing me that you don’t want me around most of the time.”</p>
<p>“But . . . we had a good time today, didn’t we?”</p>
<p>“Today was nice but I’m not talking about today.”</p>
<p>“I can only repeat that I’m sorry. I never wanted to make you feel bad. Maybe I’m just stressed.”</p>
<p>“You don’t seem stressed when Harry is around.”</p>
<p>“That’s not true,” Louis defends himself.</p>
<p>“It’s not true? You just can’t see it from an objective view since you’re too occupied by impressing him all the time.”</p>
<p>“Matt, I’m just being nice.”</p>
<p>“Yeah to him, not to me.”</p>
<p>“Matt I-,”</p>
<p>Matt holds a hand up to silence Louis. “Please stop. You’ve already said enough.” Louis feels bad but also, he’s hurt. Matt stays quiet as he gets up. “I’ll lay down for a while . . . this situation gives me a headache.”</p>
<p>Louis stays on the sofa and stares out of the window. That really wasn’t how he imagined Matt’s stay – neither for Matt, nor for himself. Also, Louis had no idea that his feelings might turn into a rollercoaster ride he couldn’t control. After some time, Louis walks over to the bedroom and opens the door carefully. It’s dark inside since Matt has closed the thick navy curtains. “Matt?” Louis asks quietly into the dark. “Are you awake?”</p>
<p>“I am,” Matt answers. His voice is low.</p>
<p>“Can I come in?”</p>
<p>Matt doesn’t answer. Louis steps in but leaves the door ajar to not switch on the lights. He sits down on his bed. “I thought you might not want me here.”</p>
<p>“You should know that I always want you around. I’m just overburdened about the situation. I don’t want to repeat myself here but . . . again, we can’t be together when I was looking forward to it.”</p>
<p>“I know . . . I’m really sorry.” Louis puts his hand onto Matt’s shoulder. “And now?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. I don’t even know what I want.”</p>
<p>“Would you like to come to the show?”</p>
<p>Matt shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m not in the mood for anything. Could you leave me alone for a while, please?”</p>
<p>“Okay . . . if you want. We’ll leave in about one hour,” Louis informs him. Then he leaves and goes over to Niall’s room to get distracted from his thoughts.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0057"><h2>57. MEET & GREET</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Louis leaves for the concert, Matt is asleep. Louis decides not to wake him but sends him a message when he’s on the way to the venue. Here in New Orleans a meet &amp; greet is planned before the show so there’s not much time for anything before the show starts. The band gets ready and soon, the fans are led into the prepared room. Most of them are accompanied by their parents. Louis and his bandmates write one autograph after another, take pictures with the fans and do small talk. When Louis does those Meet &amp; Greets, he’s always in a sort of trance because the management wants them to only spend about two to three minutes per fan or fan group and that’s exhausting sometimes so that Louis can’t really think of other things. Those meetings are often stressful for him and his bandmates. They would never admit that in front of the fans who usually pay a huge amount of money to meet them. Louis doesn’t like that fact but it’s not on him to decide those things. He tried to talk to Sia about that once but he only told him that One Direction wasn’t an aid organisation and Louis should mind his own business.</p>
<p>After some time, the amount of people in the room decreases and there are just a few girls waiting for their turn. When Louis is about to write the last autographs, he gets starstruck all of a sudden. He looks up to greet the next fan and there’s Harry standing in front of him, looking cosy as fuck. Louis blinks because he can’t believe his eyes. He’s dumbfounded and his heart begins to race. It’s really Harry in his white, knitted jumper and the light blue jeans Louis loves so much on him. He gives Louis the prettiest smile ever so that Louis’ knees get weak the moment he realizes it’s really him. Louis doesn’t talk, he just stares at Harry as if he was a ghost.</p>
<p>“Don’t you want to say hi?” Harry says amused.</p>
<p>“Uh . . . sorry I-,” Louis stammers.</p>
<p>“Shut up and give me my autograph now,” Harry interrupts playfully, handing Louis a cover of their latest album.</p>
<p>In that moment, Louis regains consciousness again. “Hey,” he smiles. “What do you want me to write?” He can’t stop smiling and he shakes his head in positive disbelieve. What a surprise. He really didn’t recon he’d see Harry at the venue. The girls who are standing close giggle and gasp as they take pictures of Harry and Louis but both guys don’t pay attention to them.</p>
<p>“Something nice.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Louis grins and scribbles down some words. “Here.” He hands Harry his autograph.</p>
<p>“Why the fuck are you already here?” Harry reads out. “I’m just here to annoy you, you know?” Harry gives Louis a cheeky smile. “See you in a few.” And with these words Harry turns around and walks away, leaving Louis behind with a heartbeat like a hummingbird. He wasn’t expecting any of his reactions and the fact that Harry is already here does something to him he couldn’t explain even if he had to. Directly after the Meet &amp; Greet the boys get dressed for the show. Louis meets Harry in the hallway quickly but they don’t really have time to talk since Joyce and Jamila want to get the boys ready for the show. Harry isn’t with them in the dressing room but Louis wishes he was.</p>
<p>During the show, Louis feels calm and excited at the same time. Not only because of the show itself but because of Harry. He can’t wait to spend time with him again. When the show is over, the other boys leave immediately. Harry and Louis shower, then they get styled for the stunt. As usual, Harry is in a good mood and it’s contagious to everyone around him. Everyone likes Harry, everyone. There’s not a single person in the team who isn’t happy to be around him and that’s something Louis likes on one hand but on the other hand, he feels a little bit jealous, too. He doesn’t even like when someone touches Harry, no matter if it’s for professional reasons or just a hug to say hello. Louis doesn’t like it.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0058"><h2>58. AT THE CLUB</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When they arrive at the club, Jeremy stops directly in front of the VIP entrance where the paparazzi are already waiting, as usual. Rob opens the door for Harry and Louis so that they can get out of the car. The flashes are so bright this time that Louis feels blind almost all the way to the door. He can barely see where he should walk. Suddenly, Louis feels Harry’s hand on his waist, guiding him toward the entrance. “Thank you,” Louis tells him after they are inside. “I couldn’t see anything.”</p>
<p>Harry gives him a warm smile. “You’re welcome.” Rob talks to a guy with a headset who leads them to the VIP booths that are located in the back of the club. “Gentlemen, that’s one of our most booked booths here. If you pull that curtain, you can cover it all if you want this place to be a little cosier and more private. Also, people can only see you when you’re standing in this area here or close to the railing.” The guy gestures to the space next to Rob. “Behind this glow-in-the-dark line here on the floor, you’re practically invisible for the people on the dancefloor. If you need something, just press this button here and your private waitress is going to get you everything you want.”</p>
<p>Harry nods. “Thank you very much.”</p>
<p>The guy gives Harry a smile. “You’re welcome, Mr. Styles, Mr. Tomlinson.” He nods and leaves.</p>
<p>Louis turns toward Rob. “Are you going to be our babysitter today?” he asks playfully what makes Rob laugh out loudly.</p>
<p>He pats Louis’ shoulder. “Only if you want me to. If you don’t mind, I would like to sit down at the bar over there. I think I’ve seen George, a security guard I had worked with before I became your babysitter.” He laughs and the boys too.</p>
<p>“Go and have a nice time,” Louis says, “we’ll be fine over here and I promise we’ll call if we need you.”</p>
<p>Rob nods. “Sounds like a plan. Good luck with the job.”</p>
<p>“He’s so cool,” Harry says as he watches him walking away. Then he turns toward Louis. “Come on, let’s order some drinks.”</p>
<p>When the drinks arrive, Harry and Louis lean onto the balustrade, watching the partying crowd. “I love that music,” Louis tells Harry, “The beat is cool.”</p>
<p>Harry leans over to him so that his arm touches Louis’. “Isn’t this a nice job? We’re just standing here with cocktails in our hands, enjoying the music and watching people having a good time.”</p>
<p>“You’re right, it might be worse. Look at that group of girls over there, they want your attention, I think.”</p>
<p>“Where?”</p>
<p>“Over there, next to the bar downstairs. They’re waving.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure they want your attention, not mine.”</p>
<p>“Maybe they want our attention.” Louis laughs. “Oh fuck, one of them pushes her boobs up.”</p>
<p>“Nice, nice,” Harry grins, not looking away. He waves at them, then he turns toward Louis. “What do you think, should we give them something to watch?”</p>
<p>Louis almost forgot about the stunt itself. All of a sudden, he gets nervous again. He just nods as he looks into Harry’s eyes. Harry bends down a little bit and gives Louis a small kiss onto his lips. Louis moves his lips gently against Harry’s before he pulls back.  </p>
<p>“You taste like coconut and vanilla,” Harry says into Louis’ ear. “Can I taste that again?”</p>
<p>“Now?”</p>
<p>Harry chuckles. “Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Are they watching?”</p>
<p>“Sure. Kiss me.”</p>
<p>Louis doesn’t think. He just leans in and moves his lips and tongue automatically against Harry’s again. “That’s crazy,” he smiles against Harry’s lips and earns an extra small kiss onto his temple.</p>
<p>“The girls are probably thinking the same.” Harry chuckles.</p>
<p>“I would have never thought that job could actually be that fun.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad that it’s not a burden for you anymore.”</p>
<p>“Me too.”</p>
<p>“Should we sit down in the back? I think whoever wanted could take enough pictures.”</p>
<p>“Do you think so?”</p>
<p>Harry laughs. “Yeah! I’m sure that we could see them online now and for sure in a few hours.” He turns around and walks toward the cosy sitting area that contains a round, velvety, lilac sofa and a table in the middle. “We can do it again later but for now it’s enough, I think.” Harry closes one curtain so that they’re kind of hidden but still not completely isolated. The booth somehow mutes the music and it’s easier to understand one another.</p>
<p>“What do you think about ordering some food? I’m hungry,” Louis says.</p>
<p>“Sure.” Harry takes the menu and opens it. Louis scoots closer to have a look too. The club offers sandwiches, burgers, salads and some sides like fries or vegetables. Harry orders a salmon sandwich and a small salad and Louis a cheeseburger, fries and a small salad too, plus drinks.</p>
<p>“Do you feel weird when we kiss?” Louis suddenly asks.</p>
<p>Harry chews his bite, then he gives Louis a smile and shakes his head. “No, not at all. I thought it would feel like movie kisses.”</p>
<p>“How do you know how a movie kiss feels like?”</p>
<p>“I played a supporting role in a movie two years ago and I had to kiss. It felt like work. There wasn’t any emotion attached to it and it really felt fake, it’s hard to explain. There were people around us all the time and there was always someone telling us what and how to do it.” Harry pauses. “With you, it feels different.” Louis wants to ask Harry what exactly the difference is but he doesn’t dare to. Harry gives him a smile. “And now you want to know what’s different when we kiss, am I right?”</p>
<p>Louis flushes but luckily, it’s quite dark in the club. How does he know? “Well . . . yeah.”</p>
<p>“Maybe I should ask you first since you were the one who wasn’t okay with practising and kissing at first.”</p>
<p>Louis takes a bite of his burger before he answers. “I don’t feel it’s as weird as I thought it would be.”</p>
<p>Harry half-laughs. “That sounds as if it was still torture for you.”</p>
<p>“No, no . . . well I . . . I think I like kissing you. I was so scared at first but tonight, it was quite easy in public and . . . it felt natural.” Louis flushes even more. “Oh God, that sounds weird.”</p>
<p>“It’s because we like each other, that makes it easier.”</p>
<p>“Maybe so.” Louis and Harry continue eating for a while. “How is your sandwich?” Louis asks.</p>
<p>“Would you like to try?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it looks delicious. Do you want to taste my burger, too?”</p>
<p>“Oh yes, I’d like to try it.”</p>
<p>Louis cuts a piece of his burger and puts it onto Harry’s plate. In return, Harry gives Louis a piece of his sandwich.</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s really good,” Louis says with his mouth full. “It looks so healthy but tastes delicious.”</p>
<p>“Well, just because something is healthy it doesn’t mean it won’t taste good. You should really forget about those stereotypes, Lou.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah.”</p>
<p>When they have finished eating, Harry and Louis go to the railing again, dance a little and watch the crowd. “What do you think, should we leave in a few?” Harry asks Louis after a while. “I’m a little tired.”</p>
<p>“That’s okay. I’ll tell Rob and pay for the food.”</p>
<p>Harry nods. “Fine.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0059"><h2>59. AN EMOTIONAL NIGHT</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>On their drive home, Louis checks his phone. Matt has messaged one hour ago, asking when Louis will be back. Louis answers quickly and puts the phone back into his pocket. Back at the hotel, Harry and Louis stop in front of Harry’s room that’s close to Louis’. “It was a really nice evening Lou, thank you.”</p>
<p>“It was.”</p>
<p>“I’ll see you in Atlanta.” Harry pushes his card into the slot to open the door. “Sleep well.” As he’s about to step in, Louis stays where he is. “Is something wrong?”</p>
<p>“I thought . . . maybe we could have a look at our pictures before going to bed. You know . . . if they’re online and how they turned out and stuff.”</p>
<p>“We could do that, of course but . . . don’t you want to go to your room? I’m sure Matt is waiting for you.”</p>
<p>“He’s probably sleeping anyways.” Louis ignores the negative tug he feels in his guts but he wants to be with Harry right now.</p>
<p>“Okay. Come in,” Harry says quietly.</p>
<p>“Do you think the girls have really posted them?” Louis asks as he takes a seat on the sofa.</p>
<p>“The girls and other people, I’m sure. We were visible for quite a long time.”</p>
<p>“I wonder if the kisses look staged.”</p>
<p>Harry sits down close to Louis so that their bodies touch. “Now let’s see what they wrote and what pictures they choose. Just look for your name on google first.”</p>
<p>“Okay.” Louis googles his name and within seconds, the headlines appear.</p>
<p>“Clubbing and kisses – One Direction’s Louis Tomlinson hooks up with supermodel Harry Styles in New Orleans”, Harry mumbles.</p>
<p>“Oh wow, that one is fucking close!” Louis scrolls down.</p>
<p>“Oh yes and . . . this one too. Go back to the headlines.”</p>
<p>“Public display of affection – Louis Tomlinson (1D) and Gucci’s most wanted model Harry Styles in love at 9<sup>th</sup> Palace.”</p>
<p>“It seemed to work. The kisses don’t look staged at all.”</p>
<p>“Practising was a good idea.”</p>
<p>“It wasn’t me who didn’t want to practise in the beginning.” Harry tilts his head and puts his hand onto his cheek in a thinking pose. “Hm, let me guess. I think it was a sassy boy with messy brown hair who looks exactly like you.” Harry looks into Louis eyes and Louis can feel the tension between them. It’s almost visible and Louis feels the urge to kiss him again. An invisible string pulls him closer to Harry but just in this moment, Harry’s phone rings and Harry pulls back to grab his phone from the table. He gets up but gives Louis a sign to stay.</p>
<p>“Hey love . . . what happened? Are you okay?” he says in a soft tone as he walks away. Louis can’t understand everything he says but the most impressive thing about this phone call is the softness of his voice. Louis remembers that tone from a call Harry got when they were touring through Europe and suddenly, he feels a tug at his heart. It’s his girlfriend again, Louis thinks and when the thought crosses his mind, he starts feeling jealous of whoever is on the phone. He doesn’t want Harry to have a girlfriend. Louis stares at the ceiling until Harry comes back. “Sorry that it took so long.” He flops down next to Louis again, bending one leg so that it touches Louis.</p>
<p>“Do you have a girlfriend?” Louis blurts out. What the hell? He shouldn’t have asked that. If Harry told him yes, he’d be disappointed forever.</p>
<p>“No,” Harry answers.</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>“Because I’m single at the moment.”</p>
<p>“Really?”</p>
<p>Harry turns his head. “Why are you surprised about that?”</p>
<p>“I’m not . . . I mean, well . . . maybe a little bit. I read something about you being in a relationship with some model and I thought you were talking to her.” Louis can’t look Harry in the eyes. He feels stupid.</p>
<p>“Journalists write a lot about me but that doesn’t mean it’s true. Shouldn’t you know about that? And this wasn’t my girlfriend by the way it was my sister.”</p>
<p>“Sorry . . . I . . . I feel stupid now.” He must love his sister dearly. The way and the tone he spoke to her were full of love.</p>
<p>“You’re not, don’t say that.” Harry changes his position. “Why do you want to know?”</p>
<p>Louis gets up a little bit and takes a decorative pillow to put it on his lap. He stares at it for a few seconds. “I can’t imagine someone like you being single.” Louis looks down, fidgeting with the fabric.</p>
<p>“What do you mean, someone like me?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know how to explain that to you but . . . I don’t know.” Louis feels heat crawling up his body. “I shouldn’t have asked, I’m embarrassed, see?” He points at his cheeks that must be crimson red by now, at least Louis feel like it.</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a smile. “It looks cute, there’s no need to be embarrassed. I’m used to this reaction but honestly, I can’t understand why. I’m a person like everybody else. No matter with who I appear anywhere, people think I’m dating them.” Harry sighs. “I believe that’s one of the reasons why Mr. Sia chose me as your stunt partner. When I was a teenager, the media gave me the image of a womanizer, linked me to women that were nearly twice my age and I never had the chance to set that right. I tried to but nobody listened. Somehow, I believe that nobody wanted to know the truth so I gave up explaining who I really was. This hurt me a lot back then, more than now but still I’m sometimes suffering because of that. I was sixteen, can you imagine? Sixteen. I was a kid. Nobody in the business cared about my feelings. The most terrible headline I’ve ever seen was that a supposed to be friend of mine told a tabloid magazine I had sex with his mum because I allegedly was into older women.” Harry presses his lips together and shakes his head. “I never wanted to talk about my sexuality in public because I think that’s something so private and it shouldn’t be part of work in general. For many years the media has put their focus on my sexuality and they just won’t stop asking and writing about it. I’ve learned how to dodge questions perfectly, thank God. I don’t want to define my sexuality in public since for me, it doesn’t matter and I want to keep it private. I’m just me and I can have relationships with who I want without the whole world to be involved. It took me two years to find out that the media could be my best friend but also my worst enemy. When I turned eighteen, I decided to stop revealing too private things about myself in public. I practically stopped using social media and since then basically every print interview or article is ninety or more percent fake. I’ve learned to deal with the circumstances but still, it’s not easy for me to ignore all the shit they’re publishing about me. According to the media, I’m with everyone who is female and stands less than two meters away from me.” Harry sighs again. “After almost ten years. Can you imagine that? Ten years.” There’s silence in the room for a while. “Sorry for the rant but I felt like I had to get that out.”</p>
<p>Louis just stares at Harry, trying to process his rant. “I don’t know what to say.”</p>
<p>“Me neither.”</p>
<p>“I shouldn’t have asked that stupid question.” Louis bows his head. “I feel bad for complaining about our stunt some weeks ago. It’s nothing compared to what you’ve been through.”</p>
<p>“Hm . . . weren’t you in a similar situation?”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I found an article about your ex-girlfriend Eleanor and asked myself if they invented the story or if it was real. I’m quite sceptical for a reason, you know?”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head. “It wasn’t real. When I got together with Matt, Sia set me up with her and my bandmate Niall had to pretend it was him who introduced us to each other. Such a shitty story. Elk liked being my beard since the company paid her well and for whatever reason she had a crush on me. Every time I had to hold her hand . . . I felt so uncomfortable, knowing that she loved it.”</p>
<p>“Elk?” Harry chuckles.</p>
<p>“Yeah, Elk. I used to call her that to annoy her.”</p>
<p>“Oh – do I sense some parallels here?”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Elk, Harold. Quite the same, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“I promise I won’t call you Harold again.”</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t mind, to be honest. It feels like a familiar nickname by now and I quite like it but I’m sure you just called me that to annoy me at first.”</p>
<p>Louis lets out a sigh. “Yeah, I did. So . . . you don’t mind me calling you Harold?”</p>
<p>“No, not anymore,” Harry chuckles. “I hated it at first, I have to admit.”</p>
<p>Louis looks down. “I wanted you to hate it.”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you tell me to stop?”</p>
<p>“I did.”</p>
<p>“Oh.”</p>
<p>Harry puts his hand onto Louis’ thigh and squeezes it slightly. His touch feels warm and Louis doesn’t want Harry to pull his hand away. “Don’t worry about it anymore. You’ve obviously changed your mind and that’s what matters.” </p>
<p>“Thank you. The situation was too overwhelming and I felt so helpless. I know it’s not an excuse.”</p>
<p>“As I’ve said. It’s okay.”</p>
<p>“Okay.” Louis yawns and Harry does too shortly after him.</p>
<p>“We should go to bed, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>“If only.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“I wish I could stay with you.” There’s a pause. “I don’t know what I’m talking, sorry.” Louis gets up and walks toward the door. Then he suddenly feels Harry’s touch on his shoulder and when he turns around, there it is again. The invisible string between him and Harry. Louis doesn’t think. He leans in almost automatically and kisses Harry who moves his lips against Louis’ gently while supporting Louis’ chin with his hand.</p>
<p>“You can’t stay,” Harry tells Louis. “Your boyfriend is waiting for you.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Louis says. “So . . . was this just kissing practise?”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a small smile. “I guess so, yeah. Goodnight Lou.”</p>
<p>“Night.” When Louis walks to his room, he knows it wasn’t just practise. It was Harry who touched him and who kissed back. Fuck.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0060"><h2>60. A MISTAKE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p>
<p>In the morning, Louis doesn’t see Harry again. When they’re in Tampa, Louis and Matt finally have more time together but instead of being happy and carefree about the time with his boyfriend, Louis can’t enjoy it as much as he should. He thinks of Harry constantly and it’s a huge effort to hide these feelings from Matt. All the time Louis was unsure about them but now that he can’t think of anything else, Louis knows it’s not only some weird imagination. Luckily, Matt doesn’t really seem to notice. He’s very clingy all the time and Louis lets him be. The next day everyone travels to Atlanta and again, Louis catches himself being nervous and excited about seeing Harry again. He can’t forget their last kiss and how Harry looked at him. But isn’t Harry’s stare always meaningful? Anyone could interpret it as “more”, right? That was one thing Louis noticed during the first hours with Harry. Whenever he talks to people, he really pays attention and looks them in the eyes. Not like other people do but somehow more intense. More like he would want the person to feel special but was it one of those looks that night or was it different?  </p>
<p>At the venue, Matt is with Louis all the time so that Louis can’t interact with Harry the way he wants to. While Matt is eating, Louis goes to the bathroom. As he checks his phone, he notices a from Harry. Louis’ knees feel weak as he reads it. “I’m in room 102. Walk towards the catering area and turn left. Walk along the hallway, then turn left again. Turn right and there you will see a red door. I’ll be here until six since I don’t know when you will read the message.”</p>
<p>It’s half past five now and Harry has sent the message twenty minutes ago. Louis’ heart starts beating so fast and strong that he can feel the heartbeat up in his throat when he quickly walks into the opposite direction, towards the room. He hopes that nobody will see and ask him where he’s going. He feels a little bit relieved when he has passed the catering area where most of the people are at that time. What does Harry want from him? The amount of excitement nearly kills him as he finally arrives at the red door which is room 102. Louis looks around to be sure that nobody is around and sneaks in. It’s a dark room with no windows and several high shelves. The shelves are full with requisites, old technical equipment and other things that look like they haven’t been touched or used in years. Harry is sitting on a small, old sofa that looks pretty nice compared to the chairs and armchairs that are also placed there. Louis closes the door carefully and turns the lock. He has never been that nervous to see Harry until now. He walks over to him in silence, his gaze never leaving Harry’s. Louis straddles his lap and looks him in the eyes as Harry puts his hands under Louis’ jumper, gently pressing his fingers against Louis’ waist. Everything happens almost automatically. Harry’s hands feel warm on his skin, warm and comfortable. Louis looks at Harry’s face, tracing his temple, cheek and jawline with his index finger. He gently lets his thumb wander along Harry’s full lips and Harry opens them, giving Louis a soft look. “You are so beautiful,” Louis says as he lets his eyes wander from Harry’s lips to his eyes and the other way round. Harry just looks at Louis without saying anything. Louis leans forward until his face is only inches away from Harry’s, their lips nearly touching. “I missed you so much,” he whispers against Harry’s lips and fuck, he means it. He props himself up on the backrest of the sofa as he leans in and kisses Harry softly, his tongue sliding into his half-opened mouth. Harry kisses him back gently, his tongue massaging Louis’ slowly as they deepen the kiss. “Wow,” Harry breathes into Louis’ mouth before he pulls back and presses a small kiss onto Louis temple. “That one has been one of my favourite greetings ever,” Harry says quietly, gently pushing a streak out of Louis’ face.</p>
<p>“I need to give the compliment back,” Louis says.</p>
<p>“Thanks,” Harry smiles. Then he gets serious. “But . . . I can’t keep kissing you like that.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“I can’t kiss you like that.”</p>
<p>“I heard that the first time,” Louis pouts. The magic that had filled the room has turned into dust within seconds. “What the fuck are you talking about?” Louis gets off Harry’s lap. “It was you who wanted me in here!” Louis tries not to be too loud since he doesn’t want anyone to hear they’re inside.</p>
<p>“I know, Lou . . . I think I made a mistake.”</p>
<p>“You don’t say! And now?”</p>
<p>“I think you should go first and I’ll follow after a while.”</p>
<p>Louis rolls his eyes. “Oh, what a plan.” He sits there and waits but Harry doesn’t do anything. “So . . . that was it? And now?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Nothing, I guess. I’m waiting for you to go.”</p>
<p>Louis frowns. “What’s wrong with you? Are you serious?” Harry presses his lips together and nods. Louis feels as if every nice moment they had is being erased slowly. Louis lets out a huff and shakes his head in disbelief. “You shouldn’t have messaged. Bye.” Louis leaves and looks for the other boys. They’re not eating anymore but he can hear them in the table tennis room so he walks over there. What the fuck was that? Harry wanted him to come to this room, he kissed him and then he told him to fuck off? To Louis’ surprise neither the boys nor Matt ask questions when Louis comes back. Matt just wraps his arms around Louis from behind and puts his head onto his shoulder. Matt’s touch nearly soothes Louis’ as everyone watches Niall playing against Liam. Luckily, they have to get ready for the show soon so Louis doesn’t have much time to think. On their drive home, Harry is in the other car and Louis is relieved about that. In the car, Matt falls asleep against Louis’ shoulder. He’s so tired that he falls asleep as soon as his head has touched the pillow.</p>
<p>After showering, Louis sees that he has gotten another message from Harry. “Can we talk? I’m in 524.”</p>
<p>Louis thinks of ignoring the message at first. After he has brushed his teeth, he checks the bedroom. Matt is asleep. Louis isn’t tired at all. He’s agitated and can’t relax anyways so he decides to see what Harry wants from him. He texts Harry that he is about to come over. Harry has left the door ajar so Louis just walks in and closes it behind him.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0061"><h2>61. OPEN WORDS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p> </p><p>“Hey,” Harry says awkwardly as he walks toward Louis. He pushes his hair back in a nervous gesture. “Thanks for coming.” His curls fall into his forehead again.</p><p>“Is this a new game? Sending me room numbers to reject me in there? What the fuck wrong with you?” Harry stays quiet as he walks into the bedroom. Louis follows. The lights are dimmed so that the room is illuminated nicely. The atmosphere reminds Louis of the first time when they shared a room. “We kissed and then you got serious, then we kissed again and you told me that we couldn’t do it.” Louis sits down on the bed, cross legged. “Don’t you like me anymore?” Louis half-laughs and shakes his head. “How ironic that I’m asking you that.”</p><p>Harry rubs his face and pushes his hair back again as he sits down too. “It’s not that I don’t like you, please don’t think that. The situation I’m in with you is just difficult.” He pauses, then takes a deep breath. “My problem is that I’m enjoying kissing with you too much, I think. More that I should.”</p><p>“And that’s the reason you’re rejecting me?”</p><p>“Exactly.”</p><p>“It wasn’t a problem before, so why now?”</p><p>“Shouldn’t you know the answer to this question better than I?”</p><p>“Do you feel uncomfortable with me?”</p><p>“No, Louis! You’re wrong! How could you think that?”</p><p>“How? Maybe because of what happened a few hours ago?”</p><p>“You have a boyfriend, Louis! When I kissed you in this room, I suddenly realized what I was doing and it felt so wrong! I felt so guilty!” Harry pauses. “When I had the idea with the room, I just wanted to talk to you and have some private minutes with you since I knew we couldn’t really talk with everyone around but when I saw you, something clicked and I couldn’t resist. It felt so intimate and different that I was literally shocked how much it meant to me.”</p><p>Louis stays quiet for a while because he needs to process Harry’s words. “Do you mean it? Like . . . really?”</p><p>Harry nods. “I think I have developed feelings for you that I shouldn’t have and that is the reason why I wanted to talk to you. I enjoy being with you too much and I know that we can’t be-,” Harry says but Louis silences him by putting his index finger over Harry’s mouth. He scoots closer and touches Harry’s cheek with the palm of his hand.</p><p>“Don’t say it, please,” he says quietly. He lets his hand slide down Harry’s cheek until he reaches his neck where he rests his hand and caresses Harry’s check with his thumb. “Don’t.” Louis leans forward and kisses Harry’s temple gently, then he pulls back. Automatically, Harry scoots closer to him and nuzzles into his neck, wrapping an arm around him. Louis pulls Harry close and kisses his hair. They stay like this for a while and Louis feels like he could burst.</p><p>“Your heart beats fast,” Harry says as he puts his hand onto Louis’ chest, gently moving his fingertips over the silky material of Louis shirt.</p><p>“I’m nervous.”</p><p>“To be honest, I’m afraid that this might be the last time that we’re together like this.”</p><p>“Why are you saying that?”</p><p>“Because you know it’s wrong and we can’t-,”</p><p>“Stop, stop, stop,” Louis interrupts and scoots away a little bit. Harry sits down in an upright position, too. “I miss you when you’re not with me and I can’t stop thinking about you. I’m so confused and I feel so bad when I think of Matt but . . . when we kiss, the energy kills me and . . . I want to be with you. I wasn’t sure until now, I really wasn’t but when I saw you in the room, I just wanted to be close to you, I wanted to kiss you and feel your touch although I knew it was wrong to feel that way but . . . I can’t change my feelings. I really want to be your boyfriend but I’m afraid I’m not good enough-,” Louis says but Harry stops his rant by pressing a little kiss onto his mouth.</p><p>“I hate hearing you say that you’re not good enough for me. Please don’t say that anymore.” Louis just looks at Harry and nods. “But still . . . this is wrong.” Louis wants to take Harry’s hand but Harry pulls back.</p><p>“Sorry, I shouldn’t have opened up like this.” Louis wants to get up and leave.</p><p>“Don’t leave, please. Please stay.”</p><p>“I’m embarrassed, Harry.”</p><p>“Don’t be. I also have feelings for you . . . it’s just . . . we can’t go on like this. I can’t kiss you, knowing that your boyfriend is waiting for you. We’ve already gone too far.”</p><p>“And now? I mean . . . what should we do?”</p><p>“We could go to bed and talk tomorrow? It’s so late.”</p><p>“Can I stay with you?” Louis had asked this question a few days ago and it feels like a déja-vu.</p><p>“You know you should be with him, not me.”</p><p>“I don’t want to go.”</p><p>Harry puts his hand over Louis’ neck, leans forward and presses a small kiss onto his temple. “You should go and take your time to think about everything and . . .  be honest to Matt.”</p><p>“I don’t want to talk to him now.”</p><p>“Unless Matt doesn’t know what’s going on, we should stay away from each other, except for the stunts. It’s not fair for him and I feel guilty all the time. I enjoy being with you and all that but still.” Harry exhales audibly. “I’m sorry. It’s really hard for me to reject you as you might have noticed.”</p><p>“I don’t want to admit it but . . . you’re right. I don’t dare talking to him. He has already been disappointed and stuff, if I told him that we have feelings for each other he would be heartbroken.”</p><p>“He would also be heartbroken if you lied to him.”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“You have to confront him, there’s no other way.”</p><p>“This was his biggest fear, Harry. How can I tell him that he was right all the time? I . . . I’m desperate, I really am.”</p><p>“I’m sorry for the mess and please believe me, I never wanted to make you feel unwanted.”</p><p>“It’s okay. I’m a mess myself and I don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore or what I want and what I don’t.”</p><p>“We both need time to think and a little distance will help us, I think. I’ll leave in the morning and I’ll be with you the day after tomorrow.”</p><p>“Okay.” Louis gets up and gets ready to leave. He turns around and looks at Harry. “Sleep well and . . . I already miss you.”</p><p>“I miss you too, Lou. Goodnight.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0062"><h2>62. HURT FEELINGS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis opens the door to his room as silent as possible to not wake Matt up. Louis hopes he is sleeping because he’s absolutely not in the mood to talk about anything. His bad conscience kicks in like it never has as Louis tip toes toward the bedroom. He uses the light of his phone to find the way. When he lays down in bed, Matt moves under his covers. He probably wasn’t even asleep. What if he had waited all the time for Louis to come back? Louis almost feels afraid of being confronted with whatever he will bring up. Matt suddenly gets up from his bed without talking, grabs his pillow and the covers and walks toward the door. “Hey love, why-,”</p>
<p>“Shut up and don’t call me love you terrible liar,” Matt says quietly but his voice is full of anger and sadness. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to sleep in the living room.”</p>
<p>“I’m surprised you even found it necessary to come back. You could have stayed with him for the night.”</p>
<p>Louis feels awful. “Please stay.”</p>
<p>Matt ignores Louis and walks out of the door. Louis can hear him placing his covers on the sofa. He feels so guilty. It was Louis who caused that, nobody else. Louis stays in the bedroom but he can’t fall asleep, as hard as he tries. He tosses and turns in his bed until he decides to get up and talk to Matt. He knows how sensible his boyfriend is when it comes to emotions and Louis is sure he isn’t asleep, just as him. He walks over to the sofa and sits down next to him. Louis puts his hand onto Matt’s shoulder and shakes it gently. “Please talk to me,” he says quietly. He can see Matt’s eyelids flutter. “I know you’re not asleep, please.” Matt doesn’t answer but Louis stays where he is. “Please don’t ignore me.”</p>
<p>“Jesus Christ, could you just stop?” Matt says as he turns around abruptly. “Why do you want to talk to me? To hurt me even more than you already have? I don’t need your fake friendliness so leave me the fuck alone and go back to your new boyfriend!”</p>
<p>“He’s not my boyfriend.”</p>
<p>“Oh sorry,” Matt mocks, “to your <em>soon </em>to be boyfriend. Of course, he’s not, we’re still together, aren’t we?”</p>
<p>“Don’t say that, please,” Louis says quietly.</p>
<p>“Stop pretending you care about me, Louis. The only one you care about is Harry.”</p>
<p>“Why do you think that?”</p>
<p>“I’ve already told you. No need to repeat that again.”</p>
<p>“You have seen us together just once.”</p>
<p>“Yes Louis, once. Once was enough. I have eyes and ears and now let me sleep.” With these words, Matt turns around and pulls the covers up.</p>
<p>Louis puts his hand onto Matt’s hip. “Come back to bed. You don’t have to sleep on this uncomfortable sofa.”</p>
<p>Matt grabs Louis’ hand and pushes it away roughly. “Fuck off, I mean it.”</p>
<p>“Matt-,”</p>
<p>Matt turns around with a jerk. “Go away!” he nearly yells. “Is that so hard to understand? Leave me alone!”</p>
<p>Louis feels as if his heart has been ripped apart. Everything they had seems to be gone now and Louis knows it’s not Matt’s fault, it’s his. The worst thing is that he doesn’t know what to do. Maybe tomorrow he can talk to Matt and explain everything. He lays down in his bed and stares at the ceiling. Sleep won’t come since his thoughts are keeping him awake for hours.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0063"><h2>63. TRUTHS AND LIES</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Can we talk before you go?” Louis asks Matt the next morning as they are about to pack their bags. Matt stays quiet as he folds one of his pullovers. Time heals all wounds but obviously not shortly after one disturbed night. Louis sighs. “Listen, I – I know it’s my fault. Everything is my fault. I know it. You did nothing wrong and I want you to know this. It was all me.” Matt doesn’t look up. He puts his shirts, shoes and jeans into his small suitcase, pushes the clothes down and closes the lid. “Please Matt, please talk to me – or at least listen. I need to explain everything to you because I don’t want you to think that-,”</p>
<p>Matt looks up. His face looks sad, the dark circles under his eyes tell everything. “Stop talking Louis, please just stop talking. I don’t have the energy to listen to you.” His voice is low and it sounds as if his soul was about to die inside. The emotions shining through feel like a sting right into Louis’ heart. He can only imagine the pain Matt is going through and it affects him. Louis bows his head and looks at his covers, picking on them because he doesn’t know what else to do. As Matt has finished packing, he rolls his suitcase out of the room, closes the door and doesn’t come back. Louis stays where he is and looks out of the window. His mind is empty, he doesn’t feel anything. How peaceful the clouds look up in the sky and what a contrast they are compared to his inner state. In about five hours the band will leave for Charlotte and Matt will fly back home. Five hours. Louis needs to talk to him before he leaves. He just can’t let him go like this and not seeing him again for several weeks or maybe . . . never again. Louis is so desperate and feels so guilty that his hands are wet, his throat is dry and he can feel a slight headache coming up.</p>
<p>After about fifteen minutes that seem like hours, Louis gets up from the bed and looks for Matt. He’s not in the kitchen area, he’s not in the living room. The door to the bathroom is closed. Louis knocks carefully but nobody answers. As he tries to open the door, he’s surprised that it isn’t locked. He carefully opens it but Matt is not inside. His suitcase is still in the hallway so he hasn’t left. Louis walks out of his room and thinks about where he could be. He checks the lobby, the gym and the breakfast room but Matt is nowhere to be seen. When Louis returns to his floor, he checks Niall’s and Liam’s rooms but they haven’t seen Matt this morning. Louis gets a feeling that he might be with Zayn since he got along with him from the beginning.</p>
<p>Louis is nearly afraid to knock onto Zayn’s door because he feels awful. He stands in front of the closed door and stares at it while his emotions and thoughts are driving him crazy. He’s been running away from the truth for too long so he tells himself to not be a coward and do it. After another while, he knocks and waits. Inside, Louis can hear a voice but he’s not sure if it’s Zayn’s, Matt’s or anyone else’s. Zayn opens the door just a little bit. “Hey,” he says.</p>
<p>“Hey.” Louis presses his lips together. “I can’t find Matt.”</p>
<p>“He’s okay.”</p>
<p>“Where is he? Is he with you?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Zayn comes out of the room, leaving the door ajar. He takes a deep breath. “He’s hurt.”</p>
<p>“I know it’s my fault and I feel awful. He doesn’t want to talk to me and I can understand that but Zayn, I need to tell him the truth. I need to talk to him. I couldn’t forgive myself if he left just like that. I’m so confused and I’m such a bad person.” Louis can feel tears welling in his eyes. He’s never been that emotional before, it’s almost overwhelming. He’s never been in a situation like that and it’s just too much for him to process.</p>
<p>Zayn shakes his head as he wraps his arms around his friend. “You’re not a bad person. Breakups are never easy and sometimes both sides get hurt. At least tell him the truth and don’t make him believe you didn’t care because Louis, I know you did. No matter if you couldn’t show it like you used to but I know you cared about him. He thinks you hate him or something.”</p>
<p>“I don’t hate him,” Louis says, wiping the tear away that runs down his cheek.</p>
<p>Zayn keeps his voice low. “Please tell him that. Please talk to him, Louis.”</p>
<p>“I tried to but he didn’t want to.”</p>
<p>“I think he didn’t because he’s hurt and afraid of what you will tell him. Wait here.” Zayn closes the door again and Louis leans against it. He’s so nervous and his guilt is washing over him. Louis sits down opposite Zayn’s room and stares at the door. He can’t run away now. He has to stay and turn himself in, no matter how uncomfortable or hurtful it will be. It feels like hours until the door is opened again and Zayn’s face appears. “I think he still doesn’t want to talk to you but nevertheless, come in and try it, at least.”</p>
<p>Louis gets up and follows Zayn to the living room where Matt sits in the corner of the sofa, legs pulled close, his eyes red from crying. Louis’ heart stings at his view. He has never seen him like this before. You caused that, his inner voice tells him, you are the one who did that. Matt stares at the pattern of the sofa.</p>
<p>“You can stay here,” Zayn tells Louis quietly and touches Louis’ shoulder. “I’ll go over to Niall’s so you can talk.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to talk to him.”</p>
<p>“But Louis wants to tell you something,” Zayn says softly.</p>
<p>Matt shakes his head. “I don’t feel like talking. Make him leave.”</p>
<p>Zayn gives Louis a sign to follow him. “Maybe it’s better if you go to your room and I’ll try to convince him to come over. Would you like that?” he nearly whispers. “We still have some time until we have to leave.”</p>
<p>“Okay . . . I really need to talk to him before he leaves, I just need to do it.”</p>
<p>Zayn nods. “I know love, I know. I’m sure he wants to talk to you. Just go and wait in your room.”</p>
<p>In his room, Louis sits down on the bed and waits. The feeling in his guts is the worst he has ever felt for someone, ever. When he hears a knock on his door, he nearly jumps from the bed. It’s actually Matt who is standing in front of him, looking like a picture of misery. He looks how Louis feels inside, maybe worse. “I’m glad that you’re here,” Louis says and hugs Matt but he just lets him do it without hugging back. “Can I . . . can I take your hand?” Louis asks. The second he asks this, he wants to hit himself for this stupid question but he really wants to hold Matt’s hand right now. Louis needs to do something to make him feel better, something, no matter what it is. Matt doesn’t answer but let’s Louis take his hand and lead him to the bedroom. They sit down next to each other and stay quiet for a while.</p>
<p>“Do you hate me?” Matt asks, his voice full of concern and endless sadness. He pulls his hand away from Louis and puts it in his lap.</p>
<p>Louis feels tears welling up again. Jesus, what is happening to him? How could Matt think that he hated him? As he looks at Matt, Louis feels awful. He wraps his arms around Matt and pulls him close. “No,” Louis says quietly, holding back his tears. “I don’t hate you, not at all.” His voice cracks a little bit. Matt just puts one of his hands onto Louis’ hip but he doesn’t hug him back. “I don’t know where to start but please don’t ever think that I hate you.”</p>
<p>“It’s hard for me to believe this since you treated me like I didn’t matter to you at all.”</p>
<p>Louis wipes his eyes. Matt’s words hurt him, they hurt him deep inside and he can feel a slight ache in his stomach. “You matter! You are one of the most important people in my life.”</p>
<p>“Maybe I was but I’m not anymore.”</p>
<p>“No, you still are.”</p>
<p>“Then why do you treat me like I’m the fifth wheel?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. Maybe because I’m confused. I can’t really explain this.”</p>
<p>“Louis, you wanted to talk to me and now I’m here and all you tell me is that you can’t explain your behaviour?” Matt gets up from the bed but Louis grabs his arm.</p>
<p>“No, no! Matt, please. Stay. I’ll tell you . . . I mean, I’ll try to explain it the best I can. It’s not easy for me to find the right words.” Louis exhales audibly.</p>
<p>“I’ve noticed.”</p>
<p>“I want to tell you the whole story. No lies. I promise, but also I’m afraid to hurt you more than I’ve already have.” Louis looks at Matt to get a reaction but he just stares at the floor in silence.</p>
<p>“I probably couldn’t feel any lower, to be honest. At least I won’t have to rack my brain about certain things I wasn’t sure of or I imagined to be in a certain way.”</p>
<p>“I’m so sorry,” Louis says. “Before I start I . . . I would like to hold your hand again. I know it sounds strange but you want me to be honest.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want that.”</p>
<p>“Okay.” Matt’s rejection feels like he sharp cut. Louis clears his throat, trying to ignore the pain in his chest. “First of all, again, I don’t hate you. I never did. Also, everything I did to you that hurt you or that made you sad wasn’t because it was my intention. I want you to know that throughout what I’ll tell you now.” Matt nods but stays quiet. “There is one thing you don’t know yet.” Louis takes a deep breath, then pauses. “I’ve never really told you the reason why Sia came up with the stunt. I have never talked to you about it because I thought it wouldn’t be necessary for you to know. I promise it has never affected our relationship.”</p>
<p>Matt frowns. “Why am I not surprised there was more to this than just a stupid idea of your management? Go on.”</p>
<p>Louis takes a deep breath. “I’ve always had a little crush on Zayn. Nothing serious, just a little crush. He doesn’t even know that. I was too embarrassed to tell him and plus, he is straight as fuck and had a girlfriend when it happened to me first. I never immersed myself into this feeling and it was okay. When we met, I immediately liked you and . . . you know the rest of the story. It was perfect, you were perfect, we were perfect together. Soon, Zayn and I became close friends. I know this sounds weird but I never wanted him to be my boyfriend or anything like that, really not.”</p>
<p>Matt looks at Louis. “Are you sure you want me to know more about this?”</p>
<p>“Yes, there’s nothing secret or anything intimate about it.”</p>
<p>“Aha. Okay, go on.”</p>
<p>“You know that sometimes our management wants us to do charity and stuff separated from the other so some months ago I was sent to a fashion show with Zayn. I was so pissed. You know how much I hate models and those shows. At the after-show-party, Zayn met Harry and that was the first time I saw him.”</p>
<p>“Did you like him then?”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head. “Not at all. I wasn’t in a good mood when I met him anyway. We were standing there with our drinks and I wanted to leave for the bathroom when someone bumped into Harry. It was like a chain reaction. He bumped into me, I stumbled and spilled half of my drink onto Zayn’s borrowed suit. He got so pissed at me although it was Harry’s fault, not mine. When I got back from the bathroom, Harry and Zayn were talking and laughing just as if nothing had happened. I felt like the fifth wheel that evening. I was incredibly angry and also jealous that Zayn paid more attention to Harry than to me so I flipped Harry off behind his back. Someone took a picture of that, the “Sun” printed it and Sia came up with the stunts to make the world believe I was on good terms with Harry, that I had apologized and that my public image could get clean again.”</p>
<p>“You have already told me about that, minus the jealousy thing.”</p>
<p>“I thought it wouldn’t really matter. Do you believe me?”</p>
<p>“Yes.” Matt sighs. “And then?”</p>
<p>“I hated being around Harry, seriously. I was pretty unfair and rude to him for a long time because I wanted him to feel my anger. I wanted him to feel guilty and ashamed for doing such a job and I wanted to just piss him off. I was also pissed that he agreed to stunt with me and I hated him for calling the stunts “jobs” just like Sia when we were at his office. He told me that I should accept the circumstances and just try to see it as a thing that has to be done. Harry told me it would be easier for me if I did that but I didn’t want to listen to him at first. So basically, I was pissed at everyone all the time: at Harry, at Sia, at Sophie, even at my bandmates. They didn’t have to stunt, why did I have to do it? I also told Sia about you and that I didn’t want to hurt you but he didn’t want to listen. He told me it was business and he wouldn’t care about me having a boyfriend. When I had some days off around that time, I couldn’t wait to see you and I enjoyed being with you so, so much. It felt like everything else didn’t matter and it was just you and me.” Louis’ voice gets soft in the end. “And remembering this hurts me. You were my anchor I knew I could always rely on you in good and bad times.” Louis blows air through his lips. “After a while I changed my mind about Harry, at least a little bit. We got on well most of the time and slowly I noticed he wasn’t the suck-up I thought he was. You know, he was always kind to people and so polite that I had thought he was pulling off a show but he was completely himself. The tour continued and for whatever reasons, I liked him and yeah.” Louis stops talking and sighs. “I promised to tell you the truth but I’m not sure if I can.”</p>
<p>“Tell me.” Matt changes his seating position while scooting away from Louis a little bit. “My heart is scattered anyways.”</p>
<p>Louis rubs his face. “I was pretty insecure about my feelings after a while and I just couldn’t help that I might have felt more for Harry than I was ready to admit to myself, to him, to you but mostly to myself. I started doubting everything, I was so lost. I thought maybe I was just imagining things and stuff so I just continued my daily routine, the stunts and everything but somehow, I felt that things had changed concerning Harry and you but I wasn’t quite sure about anything. Even now, I can’t quite put a finger on it, I just can’t describe what happened to me. Also, I thought of you and what I could tell you but I wanted to wait and find out if it was real feelings or maybe just some weird exception. Chaos, that’s the right word to describe what I felt. Chaos and a huge mess.”</p>
<p>“What about the day you didn’t come home? I was waiting for you and then you told me about having to stay because of your work? That was a lie, wasn’t it?”</p>
<p>Matt’s words make Louis feel miserable. “Well-,”</p>
<p>“Tell me the truth. Was it a lie?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“I knew it. Go on.”</p>
<p>“Really? I don’t know-,”</p>
<p>“Go on.”</p>
<p>“Okay so . . . to be honest, around that time I just wanted to spend more time with him. I felt comfortable around Harry. He surprised me in Brussels and asked me, if I wanted to stay for one more day. It was the day when I was supposed to fly home and meet you. This is low, Matt, I know. This is so low but I couldn’t resist. I wanted to stay with him and that’s why I lied to you about that day and the situation. I know it won’t make you feel better now but it would mean the world to me if you could forgive me. Maybe not now, maybe later or . . . maybe someday. I should have flown home and talk to you. I know that by now but I was just . . . I don’t know. I wasn’t thinking, I guess.”</p>
<p>“And then?” Matts voice is more distant now, of course it is.</p>
<p>“So, I stayed and we . . . Matt, I can’t.”</p>
<p>“Talk or I’ll leave now.”</p>
<p>“We had a great day together and I realized what a lovely person he was. We were just hanging out as friends but I think I developed more feelings for him. I didn’t have appointments that day. None. I lied to you because I didn’t dare to tell you the truth and also, I wasn’t sure if I should have told you because I had no idea where this would lead to or what I really felt. So basically, I pushed the bad thoughts aside and followed my heart, which was selfish because my heart should have been yours in the first place. When I flew home, I thought of you, of him and got so confused again. I felt so guilty that I had developed feelings for Harry but still, you meant a lot to me.”</p>
<p>“Did you kiss him around that time?”</p>
<p>“No, not really. In Spain, Sophie told us that Sia wanted us to get physical and also kiss or touch more in public. I knew before and Harry wanted to practise kissing but I declined it since I hated being around him. Kissing him sounded ridiculous to me but then, after Sophie had told us that, I started imagining how it might feel. I wanted to practise but didn’t dare to start so he just kissed my temple and hugged me but we didn’t really kiss. It was more like a test for us. We decided to practise another time. So yeah, the next day I flew home and you and I were together again.”</p>
<p>“Okay and . . . what about our hugs, our kisses? Were they fake?”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head. “No, they weren’t fake. I enjoyed being with you again and I thought that maybe my feelings for Harry were just imagination. I wanted to find out what was the truth. I wanted to make you feel good and I wanted to enjoy my time with you to think about everything. I have to admit that I thought of Harry too, of Harry and also of you. I enjoyed being at the party with you. I felt so carefree and happy and I had the impression that you were happy too. It was nice until you disappeared.”</p>
<p>“I knew there was something wrong with you. At least now I know my senses are still working.”</p>
<p>“Yes, you were right. But you know, I was confused. I couldn’t tell you about it – I wasn’t sure myself! I wanted to but I still didn’t know how and what.”</p>
<p>“You made me suffer for nothing.”</p>
<p>“No, I – well . . . yes. I guess I did.” Louis bends his head. “I fucked it up and I don’t know what I can do to make up for it.”</p>
<p>“People are right when they say that love hurts. It really does.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Go on.”</p>
<p>“Long story short, when I got back on tour and I met Harry we wanted to practise kissing but it was more than that. I don’t want to talk about every single moment but we did and I also felt it wasn’t just for the job. Before you ask why I gave you the tickets if I was developing feelings for Harry . . . you meant a lot to me and I wanted us to be together again. As I’ve said over and over again, I wasn’t sure about my feelings, everything was confusing.” Louis stops talking and rubs his face. “Basically, I wanted to find out what my heart was telling me but when I saw Harry again, I just felt how much I was attracted to him and it was him who stopped and told me that he couldn’t go on like this. He told me I had to talk to you. That was last night. When we were at the club, we kissed becau-,”</p>
<p>“I saw the pictures. What happened after that?”</p>
<p>“What I’ve told you. We sat down in his room and talked. He said that we couldn’t go on like this and I needed to talk to you because he felt it wasn’t right.”</p>
<p>“You were here with him, I heard you talking in the hallway.”</p>
<p>Louis bows his head. “Yeah. Oh and . . . there’s one more thing I haven’t told you yet.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“We stayed in a room all the time while we were working.”</p>
<p>“Wonderful. Another nail in my coffin,” Matt grunts. “This is worse than I had thought, really. And I sat at home, thinking about how you were doing. I knew this would go wrong.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Fuck it.”</p>
<p>“That was it, Matt. That is the truth.”</p>
<p>“So, you’re with him now, right?” His voice is emotionless and it makes Louis feel even more uncomfortable than he already is. He’d prefer him shouting or crying or yelling at him.</p>
<p>“No,” Louis says. “I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“Is there anything you know?” Matt asks, his voice full of sarcasm. “I mean besides the fact that you cheated on me almost all the time?”</p>
<p>“You still mean a lot to me, that’s what I know.”</p>
<p>“It’s not easy to believe.”</p>
<p>“But it’s true.”</p>
<p>“You haven’t answered my question. Are you with him now?”</p>
<p>“I’ve said no.”</p>
<p>“But you want to break up with me, don’t you?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“That’s bullshit.”</p>
<p>“I know – I . . . I just, I don’t want to break up with you but I’m afraid I have to. I really didn’t want to hurt you so bad. I really didn’t. It all happened and I got so immersed into this that I just couldn’t get out. I care about you, still.”</p>
<p>“Your excuses make me sick, Louis. What does it mean that you “care about me”? You gave me the tickets to visit you for what? To show me how much you love him in front of my eyes? To make me feel worse than I already have? To make me feel like all the hugs and kisses we shared during the last weeks just happened because <em>you</em> weren’t sure about <em>your </em>feelings? Did you at least waste <em>one second</em> to think about how <em>I</em> would feel about that? Did you do that because you wanted me to believe you cared? Is it that? Did you want me to feel good around you although you thought about him all the time? What is this? A bad movie? Am I supposed to thank you for lying to me, for pretending or what? Do you want us to be friends now? To just forget everything and go on like this nightmare has never happened? Do you expect me to congratulate you now that you’ve been so brave and told me everything although my heart is scattered, laying on the floor and you’re constantly kicking it, making it break even more? What do you except me to do now? How do you expect me to react?”</p>
<p>Louis doesn’t know what to answer. He looks down, fumbling with his hands. “I wanted you to know that it wasn’t my intention to hurt you and that you still matter to me. I wanted you to know the truth.”</p>
<p>“We’ve been here before but that hurts even more. If you can’t tell me what you feel or what you want, I will now.” Matt’s voice has changed, his tone has gotten certain. Louis nods while his heart hurts more than ever. “From now on, we’re not together and we’re not friends anymore. We’ll go separate ways and I want you to delete my number in front of my eyes. When I leave this room, I don’t want you to follow me nor talk to me again.” Louis can feel that Matt’s sadness and emptiness has switched to anger. He’s the brave one now, not Louis. “I want you to unfollow all my social media and I want you to stay away from me and I mean it. You broke my heart, you lied to me, you made me feel like everything was fine, you let me suffer although you knew that you shouldn’t have. You hurt me, knowing that I just wanted you to be honest and you weren’t. That you told me your story only proves that we’ve lost what we once had. If I was objective, I could say that nobody could control their feelings and that’s why people get hurt but since I’m the one who’s losing this game, it wouldn’t help. So, I’ll take a taxi to the airport in a few minutes.” Matt gets up from the bed.</p>
<p>“No,” Louis says quietly, tears pooling in his eyes. “No, please don’t go.” A small tear runs down his face as he gets up to reach out for Matt’s hand.</p>
<p>Matt pulls his hand away with a jerk. “It’s not on me to comfort you anymore. I’m sure he’s already waiting for you. And now, delete my number.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want to delete it,” Louis says, his voice thick with tears. “We’ve been through so much.” This is the most hurtful conversation he’s ever had.</p>
<p>“Delete it.” Matt’s voice has changed completely. He doesn’t want him to beg. Louis looks at Matt but his look doesn’t soften. He means it, he really does. “Delete the number, delete the chat and I’ll block you on social media so you won’t have to do this on your own.”</p>
<p>Louis’ hands are trembling as he takes out his phone. For one second, he thinks he maybe did the wrong thing but there’s no turning back now. “How can I delete our chats? All those memories?”</p>
<p>“Fuck the memories, they’re gone. What you did hurts more than just deleting some meaningless words. Do it now Louis or I’ll do it,” he threatens. Louis looks at his phone again and does what Matt wants. He looks him in the eyes one more time, glaring at him. “One day if you get hurt like I was, you’ll understand.” And with these words he turns around and walks out of Louis’ life.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0064"><h2>64. THE DAYS AFTER</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>During the next few days Louis spent a lot of time on his own. He needed time to process his breakup with Matt and everything else that had happened before. He talked a lot to his best friend Riley on the phone who thought Louis was joking at first. After he had convinced her about the seriousness of his concern, Riley started realizing that Louis really meant it. It was hard for her to hear how much Matt had been hurt since he is his friend too but also, she didn’t judge Louis for developing feelings for Harry. Riley had always been great support for Louis, especially during hard times and she proved again that she was one of his best and most loyal friends Louis could rely on. The shows distracted Louis a little bit, at least temporarily. The closer the day of Harry’s arrival was, the more Louis’ worries disappeared and were mostly replaced by a pleasant kind of nervousness and joyful expectation. Of course, he couldn’t forget about Matt and everything but at least, he could push the thoughts away a little bit.</p>
<p>Soon, the band will also have some days off for Christmas and both, seeing Harry again and going home for Christmas are two things Louis is looking forward to. After another successful concert, the band travels to Washington DC in the morning. Sophie has arranged the next stunt which only consists of Harry and Louis walking out of the airport building,  getting into a taxi. Nothing too special but still enough to get attention of fans who might be there by chance and the paparazzi. While the band travels to their hotel, Louis, Sophie and Rob stay at the airport and wait for Harry’s flight to arrive. When Harry walks into the VIP lounge they’re waiting in, Louis’ heart jumps. Harry greets everyone with a handshake and gives Louis a tight hug. Harry smells so good and Louis would love to give him a kiss but he doesn’t dare to do it here in front of Sophie and Rob. “It’s nice to be back,” he says and give Louis a sweet smile. There’s not much time to talk.</p>
<p>“Let’s go,” Sophie says and leads everyone toward the right exit. “Jeremy is already waiting for you in the car you can see over there, the one with the tinted windows. Just walk out together. If you want, you can stop for the fans but you don’t have to. Rob is going to be near you in case if something happens and I’ll head off to my next meeting.”</p>
<p>“Oh, time for you to babysit us again,” Harry says jokingly.</p>
<p>Rob pats his shoulder, giving Harry a huge smile. “I will, if necessary.” Then his face gets serious. “If you decide to stop for the fans, be careful that it doesn’t cause too much chaos. I know how much the young ladies love you both.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Harry tells Rob.</p>
<p>“Now go, I’ll be close behind you.”</p>
<p>It doesn’t take long until about twenty girls have surrounded Harry and Louis on their way out of the airport. They take pictures of them, ask for autographs and photos. The paparazzi are among them too and soon it gets too much. Rob jumps into the crowd quickly, pulls Harry and Louis toward the waiting car and opens the door for them. Jeremy has already started the engine so they can drive away within a second. “Two minutes more and I might have not gotten you out”, Rob says out of breath, wiping his forehead. “You two and the band are quite challenging to work with, really. But it’s nice of you that you always want to stop for them if possible.”</p>
<p>“It’s part of the job. They are the ones who buy our music, concert tickets and support us on social media so giving them an autograph or taking a picture feels like saying thank you, in a way.”</p>
<p>“That’s quite attentive,” Harry says and rubs Louis’ back. “I’m still not used to that phenomenon at all but somehow it’s fun. When I was in New York the day before some teenage girls noticed me and asked me for an autograph and pictures. Some of them told me that they had seen pictures of me and Louis and they thought we looked cute together.”</p>
<p>Rob turns around in his front seat. “But you’re also kind of a celebrity too, aren’t you? Not in the music business but the model business? Haven’t you written autographs before this?”</p>
<p>Harry shakes his head. “Not really. Just once or twice but since I’m touring with Louis, people recognize me more often.”</p>
<p>“Nobody has ever asked me,” Rob says and pouts playfully what makes everyone laugh.</p>
<p>Then Jeremy starts talking to Rob and Harry turns toward Louis. “Did you talk with your Matt?”</p>
<p>“Yeah I did. He’s not my boyfriend anymore.” Louis looks out of the window. “I told him everything and hurt him so fucking much. It also hurt me to see him suffering and it was all because of me.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry,” Harry says quietly. “We can talk about it later, if you want.”</p>
<p>In their hotel room, Harry takes Louis’ hand and leads him into the bedroom. He stops there and steps closer to him, bending his head so that his forehead touches Louis’. Harry puts his hands onto Louis’ cheeks and looks him in the eyes. “I missed you so much, Lou.” Louis bites his lip and nods. He almost feels shy again as he’s looking into Harry’s bright green eyes. They are like a magnet he can’t escape. Louis comes closer to Harry and gives him a gentle kiss. Harry kisses back, equally gently. Then he pulls back. Harry takes Louis’ hand and leads him to the bed where Harry lays down and Louis does too. He props himself up on his elbow and lets his hand run over Harry’s hair. Louis traces his prominent jawline and his neck until he reaches Harry’s chest, where he rests his hand. “You are so beautiful,” he says quietly.</p>
<p>Harry takes Louis’ hand, kisses his knuckles and scoots closer to him without talking. Louis turns around and presses his back against Harry’s chest who wraps his arms around him and nuzzles into his neck. “Thank you,” he whispers and presses a kiss onto Louis’ soft skin. “So are you.” They stay like this for a while and Louis can’t remember when it was the last time, he has felt that safe, warm and secure all at once.</p>
<p>“This feels so familiar,” Louis mumbles as he intervenes his fingers with Harry’s. “I don’t want to go to the venue. I want to stay here with you.”</p>
<p>Harry chuckles against Louis’ neck and kisses it again. “We still have some hours left until then and besides . . . I’d be pretty disappointed if I couldn’t see the show.”</p>
<p>“Are you serious?” Louis moans and turns around so that he faces Harry. “You’ve already seen the show so many times!”</p>
<p>Harry pokes Louis’ nose. “Because I can’t get enough of you and your beautiful voice and I don’t think that might change anytime soon. I love the atmosphere at the concerts, it’s addictive.” Harry turns onto his back. “It’s a pity that my tour will end soon.”</p>
<p>“Your tour?” Louis asks.</p>
<p>“I mean the part when I could be a part of it,” Harry says with a smile.</p>
<p>***</p>
<p>After the concert, Harry and Louis talk about touring again. “I’ll miss touring a lot. Being together with you on a regular basis, meeting all those beautiful people, the shows . . . this has become part of my life by now and I just can’t imagine not doing this anymore.”</p>
<p>“You could still come and visit me on tour,” Louis tells Harry.</p>
<p>“That would be great but it wouldn’t be the same.” Harry crosses his arms behind his back. “Are you happy that you can spend Christmas at home?”</p>
<p>Louis sighs. “Yes and no. I love being with my family but the thing with Matt makes it more complicated this year. It’s weird because he did nothing to hurt me, it was all me. He was right in everything he said to me but I didn’t want to admit to being wrong. I thought everything was okay while it wasn’t. I couldn’t be honest with him because I was unsure about everything and in the end, I hurt him more than I could have ever imagined. I feel like a wrechted jerk.”</p>
<p>Harry lets his left hand run along Louis’ back slowly. “You aren’t a jerk.” Louis closes his eyes under Harry’s touch. “Relax, okay?” Harry says, his voice low. His hand feels warm against Louis’ skin and he nearly gets goose bumps when Harry massages Louis’ neck.</p>
<p>When he takes his hand away, Louis opens his eyes slowly. “This was wonderful,” he mumbles against his pillow.</p>
<p>Harry smiles and caresses Louis’ cheek. “I feel like you were pretty upset and I wanted to calm you a little bit. I hope it worked out.”</p>
<p>“Hm,” Louis mumbles. “Could you do the neck thing again, please?” Harry nods. He reaches out his hand again, moves it up Louis’ back and starts massaging his neck again for several minutes. “If I was a cat, I’d purr now,” Louis smiles. “Thank you so much.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome.” Harry lets his hand rest on Louis’ neck, moving his thumb slowly across the right side of it. “Again, you’re not a jerk, Louis. Feelings change and when it comes to break-ups, one side is always more hurt than the other one. It’s shit but it’s like that.”</p>
<p>“Yeah but . . . he was right. He told me that he wondered why I even gave him the tickets when I barely paid attention to him.” Louis sighs.</p>
<p>“If you don’t want to talk, it’s okay.”</p>
<p>“No, no, it’s fine. It feels good to get it off my chest and . . . your touch is soothing.” Louis blinks. “But I really didn’t know what I was feeling for a long time. At first, I was just pissed at everyone but then I started realizing that you were right about how to cope with the stunts and when you surprised me that day, I knew that I liked you but I didn’t tell anyone. As we started the kissing practise, everything became a mess for me since I wasn’t sure what I really felt. I invited Matt because I really wanted to and also because I wanted to find out what was wrong with my feelings or if something was wrong. I lied to him almost all the time, even when he wanted to talk about you and when he wanted to know what was wrong with me. I tried do decline everything but you know, I was also confused and unsure of so many things. He had always been afraid that I might develop feelings for you and he said it to me more than once but I was a coward who didn’t want to see the truth or maybe I couldn’t see the truth. Still now, I’m confused. He didn’t deserve this, not at all. Matt never looked sadder than the day he walked out of my life. I just . . . I feel so guilty. It was my fault and I treated him poorly when I should have done the opposite but everything was difficult and chaotic. . . my feelings toward him, toward you, the stunts, everything . . . telling him the truth was so hard. You should have seen his face and his reaction, it would have broken your heart.”</p>
<p>“I feel a little guilty too, you know. I shouldn’t have kissed you like I did. It was also my mistake that you were confused. When we started practising and you were so shy, I thought it was kind of cute and I wanted to show you that it wouldn’t be a problem but after a while I also enjoyed it too much as I told you in this room. Maybe it was too late, I should have told you earlier but . . . yeah, I’m also not perfect, as you could see. Sorry for that again. Maybe that was a mistake and it just tore you and Matt apart more and more. I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t think so. I was insecure myself and . . . no, it wasn’t you.”</p>
<p>“Maybe it was everything in combination. But I was also struggling with my feelings. Sorry for the confusion after the room thing. It wasn’t my best idea and quite lame when I think of it now.”</p>
<p>Louis scoots a little bit closer to Harry and puts his hand onto his chest. “It’s okay.”</p>
<p>Harry warps his arm around Louis and holds him close, kissing his hair. “Feelings can’t be controlled. It’s really hard and almost impossible.”</p>
<p>“I know,” Louis says as he looks Harry in the eyes a little bit longer. Harry gives Louis a smile, then he leans in to give him another kiss. “You’re such a good kisser.”</p>
<p>“So are you. Do you think we need to practise more?” Harry says playfully and wiggles his eyebrows.</p>
<p>“Definitely,” Louis answers and leans in again. “We can practise all night long, if you want.” Harry chuckles and Louis does too. “What are your plans for Christmas?”</p>
<p>“I usually spend Christmas at home. After that we visit friends and play funny games together. I won last year so everyone will be eager to beat me and my team.” He chuckles. “And then we’ll be together in New York again. I’m really looking forward to it and also to our short winter holiday in January.”</p>
<p>“That sounds as if we had chosen this on our own.”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a smile. “I know it’s the job but honestly, I don’t think about it as that. Being around you means a lot to me and what could be better than spending time with you.”</p>
<p>“You helped me to accept those stunts.” Louis presses his lips together. “I know I wasn’t the nicest one to work with in the beginning.”</p>
<p>“I also enjoyed our time more after your grumpy phase,” Harry smiles and leans over to press a small kiss onto Louis’ lips.</p>
<p>Louis gets up a little bit and leans against a huge pillow behind his back. He looks at Harry who lays next to him, his curls sprawled out everywhere on his pillow. “I also enjoyed being with you more when I noticed you weren’t that idiotic as I had thought.”</p>
<p>Harry swats Louis’ arm. “Heyyy . . . what are these words?”</p>
<p>Louis takes Harry’s hand in his. “I know, I was terrible but at a certain point I realized that I found you attractive and . . . I got scared that I might like you or even more or that I might like the kissing. That was also a reason why I was dismissive toward you sometimes.”</p>
<p>“Sometimes?”</p>
<p>“Most of the time.”</p>
<p>“At least you’re honest to yourself.”</p>
<p>“That was difficult . . . all the thoughts and worries.”</p>
<p>Harry pulls his hand back and turns around. As he moves, he takes the cover with him what allows Louis to look at Harry’s naked back. His back muscles flex as Harry reaches for his phone that’s on his bedside table next to him. He unlocks it, then sits down in bed and Louis does too. “I want to show you something. Wait.” Harry scrolls through his photos until he taps on a certain one. “Look.”</p>
<p>Louis grabs Harry’s hand to pull the phone closer to him. “Oh . . . that’s me? Sleeping? Where did you take it?”</p>
<p>“In Paris. I hope you don’t find that creepy.”</p>
<p>“No but . . . why did you do that?”</p>
<p>“Because I wanted a memory and I didn’t know if I could ever take another picture like this one again. I thought you looked cute and peaceful here and I liked that.” Harry puts his phone away and leans his head onto Louis’ shoulder. He wraps his arm around his waist and stays there for a while. “This is the best feeling in the world,” he mumbles eventually. Louis puts his hand onto Harry’s bare back and caresses it slowly. “I remember the day when you gave me the massage. I loved it. Do you think we could do that again?”</p>
<p>“Whenever you want.”</p>
<p>“I feel so sleepy,” Louis yawns. “Would you mind if I lay down?”</p>
<p>“Not at all. I’m also tired.”</p>
<p>“Sleep well, Harold.”</p>
<p>“Sleep well, Lou.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0065"><h2>65. NEW YORK</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After Christmas, Louis and Harry meet in New York for their most important stunt of the year, as Sia and Sophie call it. It’s just them, Sophie, Rob and Ben for security reasons. At first, it wasn’t planned that anyone would accompany Harry and Louis to New York but since their latest stunts, the public interest has increased tremendously. The articles, posts and tweets about Harry and Louis haven’t declined, on the contrary. Harry’s schedule for the next few months is nearly overbooked with appointments. His publicity has risen during the last weeks and months and One Direction’s sells have nearly doubled within a few weeks. The model and the singer really seem to be an unbeatable concept of success for both sides.</p>
<p>Louis arrives in New York around lunchtime on New Year’s Eve. He hasn’t seen Harry in about two weeks and the longing to be with him again feels nearly painful. He couldn’t meet Harry earlier because Louis had been busy before and right after Christmas. His agency got more spontaneous requests than ever during the time when he was on tour with Louis and just as agencies are – they don’t care about holidays or feelings, they just care about the business and the business means work, work and work again. Harry wasn’t really happy about that since he had planned to spend more time with his family but his contract didn’t allow him to do what he preferred so he had several photo shoots for Gucci, Valentino and two magazines during a short period of time.</p>
<p>When Louis discovered some of Harry’s new pictures online, his heart nearly stopped beating. Harry looked so fucking good, extremely attractive and hot as fuck, especially in the newest issue of a male model magazine where he was stripped to the waist in almost every picture. His body looked like a wonderland combined with his tattoos. The pictures that showed only his naked upper body were sexy but the one where he was wearing a thick leather collar with metal loops only pushed his imagination to places, Louis never knew he might drift to. That guy was sex on legs straight in this particular shoot and the imagination of Harry wearing that collar when they were on their own had crossed his mind more than once. Louis was thankful for his Tumblr account in this situation because the magazines were sold within one day. He wanted one for himself but he had discovered it too late, exactly one day too late. His thoughts were running wild how intimacy would feel with Harry and when he thought about it, he got half-hard by just imagining things. Of course, Louis knew that these were just pictures what didn’t mean Harry would necessarily be into these things automatically but still, the imagination of seeing Harry with a collar around his neck turned Louis on. So much, that it nearly scared him but not necessarily in a bad way.</p>
<p>After lunch, Louis goes back to his hotel room which is one of the nicest rooms he has ever stayed in. When he looks out of his windows, he can see the famous Central Park right in front of him. The view is stunning, absolutely amazing. It doesn’t matter that the deciduous trees in the park aren’t covered in fresh, green leaves. Still, the park looks magical. A thin layer of snow covers the city and the trees. If Louis is lucky enough, it might also snow in the afternoon as the weather forecast has announced. He would love to take a walk through the park with Harry, hand in hand like an actual couple. But . . . are they a couple? Yes, they kissed and they shared cuddles and massages but they have never talked about that officially. What if Harry didn’t really want to be with him? What if he just wanted to enjoy his time as much as possible and after the stunting, everything would be over? Until now, Louis hasn’t really thought of how his relationship with Harry might continue or end or whatever. He broke up with Matt because of his feelings toward Harry or well, Matt broke up with him, and Harry told Louis he couldn’t kiss him like that while he was in a relationship but couldn’t that also mean in general? The thoughts that are running through Louis’ mind make him feel nervous again, not in a bad way but enough to wake the butterflies in his tummy. Maybe he shouldn’t think so much about Harry and himself. Maybe he should just enjoy the time with Harry and see where it will lead to. But is that what he wants? He would be heartbroken if Harry told him they should only be good friends or worse: friends with benefits. But would Harry do such a thing? What the fuck is happening with him? First he was pissed, then he slowly adapted to the situation but got into trouble with Matt, then Louis started liking Harry and his feelings felt like a rollercoaster all the time that led to the breakup with Matt that was beyond hurtful for him but meanwhile he developed more feelings for Harry with the result that there isn’t any clear result noticeable until now? What a mess! Louis wishes Harry would arrive soon so he would be distracted from his thoughts. Louis thought everything would be easier after telling Matt the truth but right now, it seems like everything got more and more complicated. Louis checks his phone. Harry has sent him a message that he has landed in New York and that he’s on his way to the hotel. The excitement to see him again lets Louis pace around the room until he hears the door being opened.</p>
<p>His heart nearly stops when he sees Harry. He’s wearing a long, black coat that looks pretty much expensive, a white, knitted jumper, black jeans and his famous leather boots. His curls are sticking out of the dark green beanie that makes him look extra cute and cosy. How can someone look like that just by entering a room? Louis catches himself staring as Harry puts his brown leather bag down and walks toward him with opened arms. “Hello darling,” he says happily, wrapping his arms around Louis.</p>
<p>“Hi love,” Louis answers, “I’m so glad that you’re here.”</p>
<p>Harry presses a kiss onto Louis’ temple. “I’m glad too. The trouble at the airports was immense, so stressful.” Harry takes his beanie off and ruffles through his hair. He puts his coat onto a hanger before he gets rid of his wet boots. “It’s freezing outside,” he says and rubs his hands, “how have you been?”</p>
<p>“Good. I had lunch with Sophie and Rob but I haven’t really done anything interesting since then. Look at this view!” Louis walks toward the huge windows and Harry follows.</p>
<p>“Oh wow . . . this room is amazing. Doesn’t the park look romantic with the naked trees and the snow? I love this kind of weather so much.”</p>
<p>Louis wraps his arms around Harry’s waist and puts his head against his broad chest. “It’s only romantic with you.”</p>
<p>“Look at you, little koala,” Harry smiles as he presses a kiss onto Louis’ temple and wraps his arms around him too. “I missed you,” Harry says quietly. Then he leans in and kisses Louis gently, moving his tongue against Louis’. Louis could burst from that feeling only. It feels different somehow, more intense, just . . . different. When Harry deepens the kiss, he stops his movements, takes Louis’ hand and walks over to the sofa with him where they lay down comfortably. With Harry’s arm wrapped around him, Louis feels that this is the place where he belongs. He puts his hand onto Harry’s chest and kisses his neck softly. Harry smiles against Louis’ hair but stays quiet. They stay like this for a while. Louis enjoys the warmth and the closeness so much that it relaxes him and his eyes close almost automatically. He has never been a fan of naps but laying here with Harry feels right and comfortable. Harry’s breathing calms him and all the thoughts that troubled his mind are blown away as he drifts to sleep, nuzzled close to Harry on this special day of the year.</p>
<p>When Louis wakes up, Harry gives him a smile. “You look cute when you sleep. There’s such a difference to the person I got to know when we started this.”</p>
<p>“I-,” Louis says but Harry silences him. “It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything. You’ve changed, I know. What do you want us to do tonight before going to Times Square?”</p>
<p> “I have no idea. We could take a walk, maybe?”</p>
<p>“That sounds good. We could also have dinner at some cosy place.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I wondered if we should book something but I prefer walking around until we find a place, we both like.”</p>
<p>“That sounds like a good idea.”</p>
<p>Louis takes Harry’s hand into his, playing with Harry’s fingers. “But honestly . . . I wouldn’t mind to stay here with you all the time, go there and come back.”</p>
<p>Harry lets out a small laugh. “I wouldn’t mind either to be honest but . . . I think it would be a pity not to go out before the stunt.” He gives Louis a smile. “Let’s walk around and find some good place for dinner. We can stay there until we have to leave for Times Square.”</p>
<p>“Okay. I’ll call Rob and tell him to meet us on our way. Sophie said we shouldn’t go there without him.”</p>
<p>“Perfect. I think it doesn’t make sense to walk through Central Park since it will be dark until we leave but if you want, we can do that tomorrow after breakfast.”</p>
<p>“We have to do it anyway, it’s on our list.”</p>
<p>“Oh yes, I forgot about that.”</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0066"><h2>66. DINNER</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>About two hours later, Harry and Louis are walking down the busy streets of New York, wrapped in thick winter jackets and scarfs that cover almost half of their faces. There are many people in the streets but nobody seems to recognize them. “I like when people don’t recognize me,” Louis tells Harry. “It’s like . . . I can finally feel like part of the people and not like the famous person.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I can imagine that. It must be exhausting when you just want to go grocery shopping or something.”</p>
<p>“Exactly. Also, the air is really cold tonight but I love the feeling on my face, no matter if I’m freezing or not.”</p>
<p>Harry gives him a smile. Louis can’t see Harry’s mouth but his eyes show it. “I do too. Oh look, it’s starting to snow! Just a little bit but it looks beautiful.”</p>
<p>“I hope it won’t stop again. I love the sound snow makes when you step on it and I hope there will be enough snow tomorrow so that we can walk on snowy paths through Central Park.”</p>
<p>“Oh yes, that would be nice.”</p>
<p>They turn into a side street and continue walking for a while until they pass a small sushi place that isn’t crowded as other restaurants. A few Asian looking people sit inside what usually is a sign for tasty, traditional food. Harry stops in front of the small restaurant. “What do you think about this one here? Do you like Sushi or Asian food in general?”</p>
<p>“I do.”</p>
<p>“Well then . . . should we stay here?”</p>
<p>“We can do that. I’m in the mood for sushi.”</p>
<p>“Wonderful.”</p>
<p>Harry opens the door for Louis to let him step in first. “Where do you want to sit?” Harry asks Louis as they look through the small room. Quiet, calming music is playing in the background.</p>
<p>“Next to you.”</p>
<p>Harry puts his arm around Louis’ shoulders, pulls him close and kisses his temple quickly. “You’re such a sweetheart.” Harry’s sweet gesture makes Louis’ heart jump. “What do you think about the table in the back? It’s for two and the place is cool.”</p>
<p>Louis nods. “That’s fine, I like it.”</p>
<p>They walk over to the small table in the back and sit down. It doesn’t take long until the waitress brings them the menu and they order their drinks first. Louis’ tummy starts growling when he looks at the pictures on the menu. “Fuck I’m hungry,” he says flipping through it. Everything looks delicious and if he could, he would order everything.</p>
<p>“Me too. It’s so hard to decide.”</p>
<p>“Always, when it comes to Sushi. I could order everything at once.”</p>
<p>When the food is ordered, Louis looks at Harry and thinks of how different the situation is. Most of the time when they had lunch or dinner in a restaurant it was because of stunting. This time feels almost like when Harry showed Louis the vegan restaurant in Paris but better. Back then, Louis was still struggling with the stunts and everything was a mess. “Tell me about your Christmas, how was it?” Harry suddenly asks, breaking the silence.</p>
<p>“Oh . . . I enjoyed being with my family. My mum’s house is a place where you just feel at home, grounded.” Louis sighs. “I needed that after everything that had happened.”</p>
<p>“It’s so important to have a place like this. My mum’s house feels the same and I’m thankful that I’m close to her and my sister.” Harry takes a sip of his water. “It was a pity that I couldn’t stay with them like I had planned to.”</p>
<p>“Seems like your business is almost as fucked up as mine, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>“This was a new situation for me. Usually, they don’t call me spontaneously. The media attention we caused was the reason . . . which is weird when I think of it. I can’t remember being ever stopped in the streets for an autograph or a picture but since the stunt this has changed.”</p>
<p>“Weren’t you angry?”</p>
<p>“About what?”</p>
<p>“That they deprived you of spending time with your family.”</p>
<p>“Of course, I was, but then I thought it also was a great opportunity for me, you know? You can’t be a model forever and the more jobs I have, the better it is so after a while I tried to see it as something positive. They gave me some extra days off in January so it’s okay.”</p>
<p>“Your positiveness is amazing. It’s a mystery to me how you manage to stay so calm when stuff like that happens. I would have-“</p>
<p>“been pissed as fuck, right?” Harry finishes Louis’ sentence and smirks.</p>
<p>Louis chuckles and nods. “Yeah, yeah, exactly.”</p>
<p>Just in that moment, the waitress arrives with the food that’s arranged aesthetically on two slate plates. “Enjoy your food. I hope you’ll like it,” the friendly girl says, her cheeks flushing a little bit. She looks at Louis and Harry before she leaves. When she’s out of sight, Harry and Louis giggle as they look at each other.</p>
<p>“Do you think she knows who we are?” Louis asks Harry.</p>
<p>“I think she knows now but she’s cute. I wouldn’t mind if she asked us for a pic or something. Oh my God, look at that amount of sushi. They look like little pieces of art. I’m afraid to destroy them.” Harry pours some soy sauce into the tiny bowl next to him and takes his chopsticks into his hand.</p>
<p>“I don’t mind, I’m hungry.”</p>
<p>Harry lets out a laugh. “Oh . . . how I missed your sass, love!” He takes one piece of sushi from the plate, puts a little bit of wasabi onto it and dips it into the soy sauce, then shoves it into his mouth. “Oh my god, this is heaven.” He chews, then takes a deep breath. “Amazing.”</p>
<p>“Got me back, my friend,” Louis answers amused. They eat in silence for a while, too hungry and too busy to speak.</p>
<p>“You haven’t ordered anything with avocado. Why?”</p>
<p>“They piss me off, avocados!”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I hate them. It’s like everyone’s talking about how healthy they are, everyone uploads avocado stuff on their blogs or stories like it was the holiest shit ever! I don’t like the way they taste nor the way they feel when you touch them. Ugh, no. No avocados for me.” Louis pulls a disgusted face.</p>
<p>“Okay, okay,” Harry laughs, “I see. You really hate them.”</p>
<p>“I do. My friend Riley wanted to trick me so she made me a salmon sandwich with eggs, horseradish, some salad and spring onions but she hid a little piece of avocado between the salad leaves because she wanted to show me, I wouldn’t notice and maybe like it.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Harry half-laughs, “I think I know what happened.”</p>
<p>Louis nods. “Yeah, of course I noticed but not only that. I nearly threw up because of the consistence and the taste of it.” The thought of it makes Louis cringe. “It was terrible. As if I was eating pure butter and people who know me are aware of the fact that I can’t eat butter when it’s too thick on a sandwich. It’s disgusting, similar to avocados.”</p>
<p>“That must have been a traumatic experience!” Harry smiles and puts a tuna maki into his mouth.</p>
<p>“Hey, don’t laugh at me!” Louis protests. “It was traumatic. I never want to taste this green hell again so if you want to make a joke or prank me, don’t include avocado. If you do, I’ll be your enemy forever, I swear.”</p>
<p>“I promise, I won’t since I know how it is to be your enemy,” Harry says. “I don’t want to experience that again. No avocados, no butter.”</p>
<p>“Good. It seems like you’ve learned your lesson.”</p>
<p>Harry laughs. “Yeah, definitely. By the way . . . have you seen Matt again, if you don’t mind me asking?”</p>
<p>Louis sighs. “It’s okay . . . I saw him but it was so strange. He just gave me a dismissive look, shook his head and left. We didn’t even talk and it seemed like we were strangers.” He pauses. “I think you were right.”</p>
<p>“With what?”</p>
<p>“When you said that with every break up at least one person got hurt. I think in this case, it’s him who is more hurt than I am. He handled the Eleanor stunt so much better than this one. I always have to think about how I would have felt if it had happened to me.”</p>
<p>Harry rubs Louis’ arm gently. “Hey, don’t torture yourself with these thoughts.” Harry pauses, then he speaks again. “If you had the chance, would you want to be with him again?”</p>
<p>Louis looks down and shakes his head. “No. I know it sounds stupid after all that time but no, I wouldn’t want to but still, it’s weird. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”</p>
<p>“It will take some time for you to process everything, as well as for him. Maybe you can talk to each other when you meet another time. You’ve been together for a while and I’m sure in your case it’s worth a try.”</p>
<p>Louis sighs. “Yeah . . . it would at least help me to not feel like an idiot anymore and it’s not that I don’t like him, it’s just . . . whatever. I don’t know what it is.”</p>
<p>“This shows that you’re a good person. You make up your mind. You don’t say bad things about him, you don’t blame him. Take this as a positive thing. I know people who broke up with their partners and did exactly the opposite.”</p>
<p>” Louis takes a salmon nigiri from his plate, dips it into the soy sauce, then adds some wasabi. “You know I - oh fuck . . . oh my god!” he nearly yells, chewing.</p>
<p>“Too much wasabi?” Harry grins.</p>
<p>Louis inhales, his eyes wide open as he waves his hand quickly in front of his mouth, a gesture people usually do when something is too hot or – like in this case, too spicy. Tears wet Louis’ eyes as he tries to cope with the burn in his nose that is almost unbearable. “One day I will die because of this, what the fuck,” he swears. He exhales quickly a few times and gulps some water down hastily. “Oh my god.” The burn is still there but it’s not as strong as it was a few minutes ago. “When I put less, it’s not enough and when I think I’ve put enough it kills me every time.”</p>
<p>Harry chuckles. “Poor you.”</p>
<p>“It’s better now, holy shit!” Louis wipes his eyes that are still wet from the tears the intensive spiciness of the wasabi caused. “One day I will die because of it, I swear.” After a while, Louis is okay again. “Speaking of relationships and stuff, are you friends with your exes?”</p>
<p>“Not really, only with my first one. We’re still in touch but that relationship wasn’t too serious so it was predictable this would be okay but my last one . . . she wasn’t a person you’d want to be friends with after all.” She. Louis feels a nearly unknown feeling of jealousy creeping up in his guts, different than the other times. “I didn’t know what kind of a character she really was until we weren’t blinded through the rose-tinted glasses anymore.”</p>
<p>“Was she a model?” Louis asks before he lets a piece of sushi disappear in his mouth. Harry nods with his mouth full, chewing. “No wonder she was a bitch.” His tone is clipped. The feeling in his stomach is still there, weird and uncomfortable. He doesn’t want to know more but at the same time he does. What a double-edged thing that is, plopping out of nowhere.</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t call a woman that but . . . yeah, she was quite . . . how can I say that . . . uhm . . . demanding with an impulse of egoism and wrong expectations.”</p>
<p>“That’s just another description of what I said.”</p>
<p>Harry smiles. “Sassy little shit,” he almost whispers, shaking his head.</p>
<p>“I won’t contradict here, Harold.” Louis wiggles his eyebrows what makes Harry laugh. “So, what did she do?”</p>
<p>“To be honest, when I met her the first time . . . I couldn’t believe how beautiful she was. She blew me away from the first moment and I’m usually not like this. I always try to see the person behind the looks because that’s what makes someone attractive or not, not how people look but I was totally struck by a lightning back then.” Harry takes a sip of his water. “We were booked for a show together and she sat in the chair next to me so we started talking. Even without make-up, she looked like a dream. Her hair was brown, long and shiny. She wasn’t as emaciated like other models and her skin had a wonderful, olive tone. Her eyes were so deep that you could get lost in them when she looked at you and her face was absolute perfection because of her imperfections.” Harry eats another piece and looks out of the window for a while.</p>
<p>“Sounds like you still like her.” Ouch. That sentence makes Louis cringe inside.</p>
<p>“No, not really. It’s just . . . that moment I saw her was magical and still I wonder how someone who appeared so beautiful could turn into a completely different person. The first months were great and I thought she was the one, seriously but then . . . her little games started. It wasn’t noticeable if you didn’t pay attention but eventually understood her game.”</p>
<p>“Game?”</p>
<p>“Long story short, she used me and my name in the business. She hired paparazzi without my consent and told me they were there just by chance what made me think but since there are some places that are known for them, I didn’t really question that.”</p>
<p>“But she was in the business, why did she use you?”</p>
<p>“She was a newcomer. It was her first show and I know now that she didn’t sit next to me by coincidence. She had everything planned. I paid the bills when we went out and when she asked me for some financial support after a while, I helped her. I mean – I know how it is when you’re new and you’re trying really hard. You aren’t paid well, you sleep in apartments with many people, there’s no privacy there, you run from A to B all day long because of the castings where the possibility, that you get a job is really low, you spend all your money on public transport, food or rents and although your agencies should pay you some of those expenses, many don’t. I started the same way, you know? She told me her parents didn’t have money and that her dad threw her out at the age of seventeen and all that.”</p>
<p>“Wasn’t it true?”</p>
<p>“No. The only thing that was true was that she was new in the business.” Harry presses his lips together. “I believed her because I thought she’d really love me but I was wrong.”</p>
<p>“How did you find out?”</p>
<p>“The worst thing is that after we were together for some weeks, I met my old friend Jonas at a party who was surprised to see us together. He warned me that she used men for her needs and then she would let them drop like a hot stone. I first thought he was jealous or something so I didn’t take seriously what he told me about what happened to his best friend.” Harry pauses. “I was in love . . . I didn’t want people to be critical when it came to my relationship and I wasn’t any different from anyone else, I guess . . . so . . . I turned down everything he said. I mean I could never use someone for my needs, so I just couldn’t imagine something like that would ever happen to me. She was so sweet, she made sure I was okay and everything was alright so . . . the possibility that Jonas really meant my girlfriend seemed such an absurd thing. She was pretty popular among guys and I felt so lucky to call her mine. I was such an idiot. When I recall everything now, it gets clear to me that she used me but back then . . . I was too blind to see.” Harry exhales audibly. “When we were on holidays, I caught her talking to someone on the phone and that’s how I found out about it. She thought I was still at the beach . . . she gave it away on her own, basically.”</p>
<p> “Hm . . . that’s bitter.”</p>
<p>“Very.”</p>
<p>“Did you confront her with her shit?”</p>
<p>“She wouldn’t have cared anyways so I thought not causing a scene would be the best solution although I wasn’t as cool as I pretended to be by far.”</p>
<p>“What did you do?”</p>
<p>“I packed my suitcase and left.”</p>
<p>“Didn’t she notice?”</p>
<p>“Of course, she did. She tried to play innocent at first but I told her that I knew. My voice was calm and now I wonder how I managed to stay that calm in that situation. She tried to make me believe it wasn’t like I thought, that I got it wrong, that she loved me, that I was the one for her and stuff like that, she even cried and if I hadn’t known the truth, if I hadn’t heard what she told her friend on the phone, I would have believed her. So, I just kept packing and left. I was lovesick for months and although she betrayed me like that, I couldn’t stop my feelings for her, imagine. So . . . in this case, I was the hurt one. I don’t think she really missed me because two weeks after our break up she was with another guy.” Harry takes a sip of his water. “It’s been more than a year now and still I think about this a lot.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” Louis feels stupid for his jealousy all of a sudden. “I wonder why you’re still so kind to people.”</p>
<p>“I think everyone is different and everyone deserves to be treated with respect. I can’t be a dickhead to people just because I’ve been hurt, that’s not my mentality.”</p>
<p>“That’s such a good way to cope,” Louis says approvingly. “I’m not like that.”</p>
<p>Harry chuckles. “I know.”</p>
<p>“Heyyyyy!”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“I’m not a dumbass?”</p>
<p>“Who said that? I just said that I knew!”</p>
<p>Louis smirks at Harry, shaking his head. “That is practically the same, Harold.” Louis pauses, then speaks again. “It’s nearly impossible that people are always as kind as you are, Harold.”</p>
<p>“So?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I’m sure there’s a secret behind that and if I’m lucky enough, I might find that out, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>“Who knows?” Harry says and lifts his eyebrows.</p>
<p>“Who knows,” Louis repeats, “who knows.</p>
<p>Harry and Louis finish their dinner soon and Louis signals the waitress they want to pay. The girl flushes as she walks toward their table. “Was everything alright?” she asks biting her lower lip.</p>
<p>“Yes, thank you. It was fantastic,” Harry says and Louis nods to underline Harry’s statement.</p>
<p>“Would you . . . I mean . . . how would you like to pay?”</p>
<p>“I’d like to pay with my card, please,” Harry says politely.</p>
<p>“Oh, okay. I’ll be right back.”</p>
<p>Harry leans over to Louis. “She’s quite nervous. I bet that’s your fault, Mr. Tomlinson.”</p>
<p>“I think it’s because of you, Harold.”</p>
<p>Harry doesn’t answer since the waitress is on her way back to them. “Please push the card inside the slot,” she instructs Harry. The device is an old one and Harry struggles to insert the card. The waitress touches the card to help when her fingers brush against Harry’s. She blushes immediately and pulls back with a jerk so that the device falls onto the tiled floor. “Oh no,” she says desperately. She bends down the second Harry does too. Accidentally, their heads collide and Harry hits the girl when he is about to get up again. The girl cries out in pain as she holds her head and Harry rubs his head too. “Sorry love,” he says, touching the girls’ shoulder, “is everything okay?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I . . . I guess,” the girl stammers. “I’m sorry, it was my fault I-,”</p>
<p>“No love, it wasn’t your fault. Everything is fine, don’t worry. I just hope this thing is okay,” Harry says as he looks at it. “Does it work?” He hands it to the girl.</p>
<p>She looks at it first, then presses a button. It takes some time until it lights up and she types in the price one more time. “Should I do it this time?” she asks Harry, her hands trembling a little bit.</p>
<p>“Okay. I don’t want to hurt you again,” he says softly and gives the girl a smile.</p>
<p>“Thank you very much.” She hands Harry the card.</p>
<p>“You’re welcome, love. And here . . . is your tip.” Harry gives the girl ten dollars. The girl thanks Harry again and flushes. She looks at both guys as if she wanted to say something, then she turns around to walk away but doesn’t. She comes back, clearly feeling uncomfortable and Louis can literally see that she’s weighing up weather to say something or not.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry to ask . . . I mean I don’t know if it’s appropriate but . . . may we take a picture together? I . . . I’m such a fan of yours and yeah I . . . I wondered all the time if I could ask you.”</p>
<p>“Of course, love,” Harry says smiling. “Who do you want the picture with?”</p>
<p>“With both of you, maybe?”</p>
<p>“Yeah!” Louis says. “Harry, come over here and you darling, you can just sit in between us, would that be okay?”</p>
<p>“Oh yes, pretty much,” she smiles and takes a seat. “I’m so nervous.”</p>
<p>“Don’t be. Okay, give me your phone.”</p>
<p>The girl gives Louis her phone and Louis hands it to Harry. “His arms are longer than mine,” he explains, tilting his head closer to the girl and Harry does the same. Harry takes some pictures, then hands the phone to the girl. “I took many so you can choose the best one.”</p>
<p>“Thank you very much,” she says quietly and gives Harry and Louis a shy smile. “You’re so lovely, both of you.” She pauses as if she wanted to say something else but then she just smiles again. “Have a nice evening.”</p>
<p>“Bye love,” Harry and Louis say unison as the girl walks back to the kitchen. They hear her squealing inside and chuckle.</p>
<p>“Do you think we should leave for Times Square now?” Harry asks, keeping his voice low.</p>
<p>“We can do that. Let me just call Sophie and Rob and then.”</p>
<p>“Do you know if we have to be photographed at a certain time?”</p>
<p>“I’m not sure. I’ll call and ask.” Louis gets up from the table, wraps his scarf around his neck and walks out of the restaurant. He talks at the phone for several minutes, then he returns. “Okay so Sophie said where we should go and Rob is going to meet us there. We’ll get photographed during a performance of a guy named Sam Brendon. He’s going to sing some songs around half past ten and it’s on us to decide if we want to stay there longer or not but we should at least be there for an hour to be seen.”</p>
<p>“Well, I don’t mind. I like the show, it’s entertaining and the confetti release at the end is quite cool.”</p>
<p>“The place will be probably packed since they have started around six,” Louis says, “but Sophie told me that Rob wants us to stay at the sides anyways for security reasons.” Louis pauses. “Oh and . . . she said we shouldn’t forget about the kiss.”</p>
<p>“That shouldn’t be a problem.”</p>
<p>“We’ll see. I’m still a little nervous because it’s in public and . . . people will probably watch us.”</p>
<p>“Relax. If you’re too shy I’ll help you out.”</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0067"><h2>67. AT TIMES SQUARE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After about half an hour of walking through crowded, snowy streets, Harry and Louis meet Rob at a street corner. Louis walks past him at first because he doesn’t recognize him without his suit. “Excuse me, Mr. Tomlinson, Mr. Styles?” he asks jokingly after they have passed him, hurrying down the street. Louis frowns as he turns around, looking at the tall guy who’s wrapped in a thick winter jacket like Louis’, a woollen beanie pulled down far into his face. He’s holding a fuming paper cup in his hands that are red from the cold. “Oh . . . Rob!” Louis yells, “fuck, I didn’t recognize you!” He gives him a high five and Harry shakes his hand.</p>
<p>“I noticed!”</p>
<p>“You just look so different without your typical suits,” Louis says, looking up and down Rob’s body. “Cosy, cosy,” he adds and gives him a smile.</p>
<p>“Well, I don’t usually have to work on New Year’s Eve in New York.”</p>
<p>“Sorry man, I guess you had other plans,” Harry says and pats Rob’s shoulder.</p>
<p>“I wanted to celebrate with my family but sometimes the job requires to change plans. It’s fine. You’re good company, though. I’m staying at a friend’s house here in New York where I’ll return after the job so it’s not that dramatic. Should we go?”</p>
<p>After some minutes of walking, Rob, Harry and Louis arrive at Times Square that is packed with people of all ages. It takes some time until they arrive at the spot Sophie wants them to be at. The main stage is visible from there, also big screens that provide an excellent view for everyone, even for the people who have gathered far away. Rob puts one hand onto Louis’ shoulder, the other one onto Harry’s and pulls them in. “Guys, I don’t want to stand in your way all the time so I’ll be right there near that shop over there.” He points at a small shop that’s located some meters away. “I’ll keep an eye on you, don’t worry. Ben should be here in a few, too.”</p>
<p>“Okay, that’s fine. Enjoy the show!” Louis tells him and Harry nods.</p>
<p>“Thank you for making us feel safe,” Harry tells Rob and gives him a hug. “You’re doing such a good job. I’ve always wanted to tell you that.”</p>
<p>Rob smiles widely at Harry. “Thank you, man, thank you. See you later!” And with that, he turns around and disappears.</p>
<p>“This is impressive,” Louis says astonished as he looks around. The skyscrapers around him are illuminated and decorated, the famous billboards shine brighter than ever and the music turns this part of the city into a huge open-air concert. “I feel like this is the centre of the world right now. Wow.”</p>
<p>“It really is, it’s beautiful.”</p>
<p>“But I’m fucking freezing,” Louis remarks, rubbing his hands together. “We’ve only been here for a few minutes.”</p>
<p>“You’ll have to suffer a little bit more, I suppose.”</p>
<p>“Don’t tell me you’re warm.”</p>
<p>“I am, I’m not freezing.”</p>
<p>Louis huffs. “You have more muscles than I do, maybe that’s why.”</p>
<p>“Aww . . . come here,” Harry smiles and pulls Louis close to his body by putting his arms around his chest, holding him tight. Louis leans back, his hands put into the pockets of his jacket. “You’re lucky that I’m a taller than you . . . look how perfectly you fit under my chin,” he whispers into Louis’ ear, brushing it gently with his lips what makes Louis’ shiver.</p>
<p>“Heyyy – watch your mouth,” he says jokingly. Harry just chuckles and rests his head onto Louis’ shoulder. They stay like this for a while, just enjoying the music, the atmosphere, themselves. Although there are so many people around, it seems like nobody recognizes them and Louis relaxes more and more. It’s cold, too cold for him by now but Harry’s chest feels kind of warm against his back. After the host has announced Sam Brandon, Louis gets kind of nervous. He can’t quite enjoy the music although it’s good and everyone around is having a good time. It’s just because he knows that the time is ticking now and he has to kiss Harry – not that kissing him is difficult or makes him feel uncomfortable, on the contrary, but the fact that it has to happen feels weird. “You seem so fidgety, is everything okay?” Harry asks Louis as the singer talks to the crowd.</p>
<p>“I’m nervous about the kiss,” Louis say into Harry’s ear. “It’s such a pressure.”</p>
<p>“But we have done this before, don’t worry too much about it.” He gives Louis an encouraging smile. “Do you want me to start again? Would that help?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Louis yells a little bit louder into Harry’s ear because the drummer of the band has just started playing his part. “I just . . . I don’t know why.”</p>
<p>Harry rubs Louis’ arm. “Relax . . . oh, listen . . . what a lovely piano solo.” Harry sways slowly to the rhythm, moving his head to the light sound. Louis looks at him, wondering how he manages to always being in control when it comes to business and he secretly admires Harry for that. Louis tries not to think too much of the upcoming kiss but he can’t quite enjoy the surroundings as he should. After the first song, the crowd cheers. The wind has gotten stronger and the snowfall has also increased a little bit. Louis’ feet are freezing in his Vans and now he regrets that he didn’t put on his winter boots. He tries to move his toes but it doesn’t help. Louis sighs quietly as he’s leaning into Harry. He looks up after a while and meets Harry’s emerald green eyes that look too soft to look away. Harry looks at him fondly as he puts his arms around Louis too so that they’re face to face. Louis knows it’s the moment he was so nervous about but suddenly, the butterflies in his stomach explode when Harry gives him a smile and leans in. Louis closes his eyes as their lips have touched and he gently moves his against Harry’s without tongue this time but still, it feels warm and soft and gentle and Louis feels oddly comforted as Harry pulls back. “Again,” he whispers and kisses Harry again. Harry smiles against Louis’ lips, kissing him one more time. “That wasn’t too difficult, was it?” he says into Louis’ ear and Louis can’t help but smile.</p>
<p>“Do you think it worked out?”</p>
<p>“I’m sure. Sophie made sure someone would take the picture and our time frame is still valid.”</p>
<p>“I really want to kiss you again,” Harry says and when Louis leans in, he quickly adds: “But not here.” His voice sounds so appealing that Louis flushes, not only because of the voice but also, because of his act. Fuck. He sometimes feels like he’s so small in comparison with Harry and he doesn’t know why. “Or would you want to stay?” Louis gives Harry a smile as he shakes his head no. His anticipation to what will happen feels exciting. No. Louis doesn’t want to stay here if there’s an option of spending time with Harry alone because that’s what he longs for, what he needs right now, only that. “Come on, let’s tell Rob and Ben we’re leaving,” he says, cleaving a way through the crowd.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0068"><h2>68. ON THE ROOF</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry and Louis head to the hotel as fast as possible. It’s a strange scenery in the streets of New York this night: everyone is heading toward Times Square while Harry and Louis walk into the opposite direction. It’s almost past eleven when they arrive at the main entrance, covered in snow, freezing. Louis is literally shivering from the cold. “I can’t feel my toes anymore,” he tells Harry when they enter the elevator. “I need a hot shower first.”</p>
<p>“That’s okay. I’m freezing now, but only a little bit.” Harry opens the door to the hotel room.</p>
<p>“Aren’t you freezing, too?”</p>
<p>“No, I’m fine. Now go, I want to watch the fireworks with you!”</p>
<p>Louis frowns. “Fireworks? You know that we can’t see Times Square from our room?”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a knowing smile. “Trust me, you’ll have the best view ever. And now hurry up!”</p>
<p>Louis stares at Harry, clearly wondering about what he said. Best view? Whatever. Louis goes to the bedroom, grabs some comfortable clothes from his suitcase and within seconds, he is under the shower. The hot water warms up his body immediately and the feeling is heavenly. Louis would have frozen if he had stayed in the cold, for sure. He quickly blow-dries his hair, rakes his fingers through it to mess it up a little bit and leaves the bathroom, feeling warm and cosy within. “You look cute,” Harry tells Louis as he sees him.</p>
<p>“Just for you,” Louis smiles as he lets himself flop onto the sofa close to Harry. Harry looks at Louis, puts his hand onto his hip and leans in for a kiss and Louis gets up to straddle Harry’s lap without breaking it. He puts his arms around Harry’s neck and their French kissing heats up a little bit.</p>
<p>“I don’t want this to end,” Harry breathes as he lets his hands travel up Louis back until he buries them into Louis’ hair. “But . . . if we don’t stop, you’ll miss your surprise.” He pulls back and looks at Louis’ hot face. He can literally feel the redness in his face as he looks at Harry who looks more than beautiful tonight.</p>
<p>“What if I don’t mind?” Louis asks cheekily.</p>
<p>“You would regret it, to be honest.”</p>
<p>“Yeah? Sure?”</p>
<p>“Absolutely. But there’s just one thing you might not like about my idea,” Harry admits.</p>
<p>“Which one?”</p>
<p>“We have to go outside again-,”</p>
<p>“Oh noooo, Harry!” Louis moans, “please not.” He pouts what makes Harry laugh. He gives him a quick kiss onto his lips.</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t be so persistent if it wasn’t something special, I promise. Twenty minutes left to decide.”</p>
<p>Louis nuzzles against Harry’s chest and presses a small kiss onto his neck. “That’s the good thing about being smaller than you,” he says and smiles.</p>
<p>Harry kisses Louis’ hair and wraps his arms around him, holding him close. “I like when you’re comfortable around me but . . . I promise what I want to show you is great and when we return, we can continue doing this . . . don’t you think?”</p>
<p>“Well, that sounds like a plan.”</p>
<p>“Wonderful. Get your warm clothes on and take one of the blankets with you.”</p>
<p>“Blankets?”</p>
<p>“In the bedroom. Yours is on the chest of drawers.”</p>
<p>Louis goes to the bedroom, grabs the blanket and puts on his thick winter jacket. Since his Vans are soaking wet, he puts on his boots. “I look funny, don’t I?” he says, looking at himself in the mirror.</p>
<p>“A little bit but I don’t mind. Nobody will see us anyways and . . . you’ll see. I don’t want to tell you, it’s a surprise.”</p>
<p>“I’m so curious!”</p>
<p>“Good. Ready?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.”</p>
<p>“Okay so just follow me now and be quiet,” Harry instructs.</p>
<p>“Are we going to murder someone?”</p>
<p>Harry laughs. “Not even close but I doubt it’s allowed.”</p>
<p>“Mr. Perfect has planned something illegal?” Louis says playfully, raising his eyebrows.</p>
<p>“Something beautiful,” Harry corrects. “Come on, we need to go. Or are you afraid?”</p>
<p>“Are you crazy? I’m not a coward!”</p>
<p>“Okay,” Harry chuckles. “Come with me, brave warrior.”</p>
<p>“I’m so excited now!”</p>
<p>“I am too, I hope it works out and now . . . just follow me, no talking.” They get into the elevator where Harry presses the last button. On the highest floor, Harry walks along the hallway and turns left at the end. There’s another long hallway they follow and on the right side, there’s a sign. “Sky Terraces” is written on it but a red “closed” sign has been put in front.</p>
<p>“It’s closed,” Louis whispers.</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>“Do you want to open the door?”</p>
<p>Harry puts his index finger onto his lips. Suddenly, they hear a door being opened. Harry gives Louis a sign to stay where he is. They listen to the person who seems to come closer. Louis’ heart hammers in his chest and he feels as if he was about to rob a bank, literally. Luckily, the steps die away after some seconds and Louis breathes normally again. He wasn’t even aware of the fact that he was holding his breath. Harry takes a key out of his pocket and opens the door with a clicking sound. “Go,” he mouths. Louis steps through the door. Harry follows, closes the door again and turns the key again.</p>
<p>“Oh wow,” Louis says as he walks onto the terrace. “You can see the whole city from here, it’s amazing and . . . oh wow, there’s Times Square! I can see the lights!”</p>
<p>Harry steps closer to Louis and puts his hand onto his shoulder. “Isn’t this beautiful?”</p>
<p>“Yes, it’s impressive. Wow.”</p>
<p>“Come with me, Lou. We can sit down around the corner. There are no pillows on the sofa but we can use our blankets for that. That’s why I brought an extra one for us.” Harry walks around the corner and puts one of the blankets onto the small outdoor sofa. “Look, we can see Times Square from here, isn’t that cool?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Louis says slowly, “this is crazy fucking cool, Harold. Wow. How . . . how come that you know about this?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know really. I wanted us to be at a special place at midnight and I thought in case if we didn’t want to stay at Times Square we should have another option. Those roof places are usually closed in winter but when I came up here, I saw the key . . . made sure that nobody was trapped on the roof and left.”</p>
<p>“You’re quite a bad ass, Harold, aren’t you?”</p>
<p>“Well, it’s time to leave Mr. Perfect behind, what do you think?”</p>
<p>Louis nods approvingly. “One point for you.”</p>
<p>“I hope more will follow,” Harry winks as he covers himself with his blanket. Louis does the same. “Fifteen minutes to twelve,” he says. “What a night.”</p>
<p>“I liked it so far, didn’t you?”</p>
<p>“Oh, for sure, I’m absolutely pleased.”</p>
<p>Louis stays quiet for a while as he stares at the illuminated city in front of him. “I would have never thought I might actually like sitting somewhere with you. When I heard that I had to spend New Year’s Eve and almost half of my winter holidays with you . . . I . . . I was so fucking pissed.”</p>
<p>“You’ve been fucking pissed for a long time.”</p>
<p>“It was my favourite state during my negative phase.” Louis lets out a small laugh. “But now I’m happy.”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a smile. “I will never understand why people start the fireworks before midnight. Can’t they just wait?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know but it looks great from here.” Louis pauses. “Uhm . . . Harry?”</p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>“I’m not a fan of counting down to zero at midnight in case if you’ve planned that.”</p>
<p>Harry lets out a laugh. “Don’t worry, neither am I. Let’s just watch the show and enjoy the moment.”</p>
<p>“Cool.” Under the blankets, Louis moves his hand over to Harry. He traces his thigh and his arm until he feels his hand and intervenes his fingers with Harry’s. They look at each other and smile, not saying anything. Louis thinks about how everything got started, how he felt when he arrived at Sia’s office and that he’s here mow, on the roof of one of New York’s best hotels with Harry Styles who he was jealous of at the party he attended with Zayn. It seems like years ago that he had prejudices against Harry just because he was a model. He’s lost in thought when a huge bang brings him back to reality and makes him startle.</p>
<p>Harry squeezes Louis’ hand. “Man, that one was close,” he chuckles. “Are you okay?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. What time is it?”</p>
<p>“Five to midnight. Happy new year, Lou.”</p>
<p>“Happy new year, Harold. Could we pretend there were paparazzi in front of us?” Louis asks, moving closer to Harry. Harry just smiles against Louis’ lips and kisses him. Without breaking the kiss, Louis lets go of Harry’s hand and puts it onto his thigh, gently squeezing it before he lets his hand run up toward Harry’s crotch.</p>
<p>“Please,” Harry whispers into Louis’ mouth as they kiss. Louis is surprised about his bravery and he’s also surprised about Harry’s reaction. As they continue kissing, Louis moves his hand over Harry’s bulge slowly. He squeezes it first, then he moves his hand up and down with pressure a few times. “You little shit,” Harry says into Louis’ mouth, then he pulls back. He gives Louis a smirk so that his dimples show. Just in this moment, the huge, famous fireworks are blowing up in the distance.</p>
<p>“What a timing, Harold,” Louis smiles, “you calling me little shit as the fireworks are blowing up.”</p>
<p>“It’s rude to use the word blow for something like that,” Harry remarks seriously, then he chuckles.</p>
<p>“I promise I’ll use it the right way as soon as we’re in our room again.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0069"><h2>69. DESIRE</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL ACTIONS.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Hey Lou, where-,” Harry asks as he walks out of the bathroom. He’s only wearing black briefs, nothing else.</p>
<p>“I’m here.” Louis steps closer to Harry, not leaving any space between them. He almost brushes his lips against Harry’s. Louis doesn’t break eye contact with Harry as he lets his index finger run down Harry’s chest, to the waistband of his boxers. He lets his hand slide over Harry’s bulge without applying any pressure, rubbing up and down gently.</p>
<p>“Touch me,” Harry whispers, “please.” He pushes his hips forward but Louis budges so that Harry doesn’t get the friction he wants.</p>
<p>“Be patient, Harold,” Louis says quietly. “Are you going to be good for me tonight?”</p>
<p>Harry bites his lower lip as he looks at Louis and nods twice. Louis can’t believe he’s doing that. Harry is basically sex on legs: his body is toned, not too muscular but beautifully curved, his hair is a dream and his face . . . but the look he’s giving Louis right now makes him look so small and needy. The fact that Harry, who usually is in control when it comes to business seems kind of innocent right now is appealing in a way. That’s his weak spot, Louis thinks, that’s the part where he might not want to be in control, at least not now. Louis is eager to find out if that’s true. “Say it, baby, no nodding here. Are you going to be good for me tonight? Or . . . should I say . . . this morning? Are you going to be a good boy?”</p>
<p>“Yes daddy,” Harry says quietly and with his voice, he makes Louis feel as if he was struck by a lightning. What the fuck. He can literally feel his erection growing in his pants just by his words. Louis didn’t expect that, not at all but fuck, that’s what he needed.</p>
<p>“What did you say? You were so quiet, I couldn’t understand,” Louis pushes Harry because he wants to know if Harry is in the mood to play this game.</p>
<p>“Yes daddy,” Harry repeats, a little bit louder.</p>
<p>Louis nods. “Come with me,” he says as he reaches out his hand towards Harry. Harry takes it and Louis leads him into the bedroom. “Sit down on the bed.”</p>
<p>Harry sits down and keeps looking at Louis. He never looks away as he spreads his legs. “Like this?”</p>
<p>“Perfect, baby,” Louis nods and lets his hand run through Harry’s curls, then over his cheek. Louis goes down in front of Harry until he’s on his knees. “You look quite slutty like this . . . do you think that’s what good boys do?” Harry just bites his lip again and nods. Louis looks at Harry’s bulge first, then he touches it with his hand again and rubs his length and balls. Since Louis can’t quite touch them properly, Harry pushes his hips forward a little bit. “Good boy,” Louis praises Harry, “you know what you have to do to make daddy touch you, right?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“Sorry?”</p>
<p>“Yes, daddy.”</p>
<p>Louis nods, then scoots closer. He touches Harry again, firmer this time as he rubs him and looks him in the eyes. He kisses Harry’s thigh gently, moves his lips over Harry’s crotch to repeat his actions on his other leg. Louis gives Harry a smile, then gets up and touches the waistband of Harry’s briefs on both sides, ready to pull them down. Harry pushes his legs together for Louis to get rid of his pants. “Fuck,” Louis says more to himself as he sees Harry’s dick that’s already quite big. He pushes Harry’s legs aside, settles down in front of him and gives him some slow strokes with less friction. Harry watches Louis, biting his lower lip and Louis just loves how needy he already looks. Louis lets go of Harry’ length and gets up to kiss Harry what makes him get hard just by the intensity of the kiss. While they’re kissing, Louis rubs Harry’s dick and massages his balls what makes Harry moan into Louis’ mouth. Louis wants to be touched by Harry so bad but also, he wants to tease him a little bit more to check out how far he could go. Louis breaks the kiss and looks into Harry’s eyes, not saying a word. Then he kneels down in front of him again, hand wrapped at Harry’s base, sucking his balls and giving them some firm licks before he spits on his dick and takes Harry into his mouth. Harry’s reaction is priceless as he tilts his head back, closes his eyes and a soft, quiet moan escapes his lips that signalizes absolute pleasure while Louis lets his tongue swirl around the tip. Harry’s pre-come has already mixed with Louis’ saliva as Louis pulls back and wanks Harry fast with a firm grip. “Shit,” Harry breathes as he grabs Louis’ hair with his hands.</p>
<p>“Shit what?” Louis asks, slowing down his movements. “Huh? Shit what?” He lets go of Harry’s dick and hits it, not too strong but strong enough to make Harry wince. “So what? Do you want more of this?” Jesus. Harry’s look turns Louis on and the bulge in his joggers can’t be hidden anymore. If Harry took him into his mouth now, he would probably not be able to control himself.</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?”</p>
<p>“No, daddy, please don’t punish me,” Harry pleas and Louis could burst by the tone of his voice and his look he can’t get enough of. “Please don’t.”</p>
<p>Louis kisses Harry’s tip gently before he goes up to give him a soft kiss onto his lips. He travels toward his ear, breathes in and out a few times before he speaks. “If you’re good I won’t punish you again, baby,” he breathes into Harry’s ear. Louis licks Harry’s shell, breathing against the wet spot. Harry shivers and his dick twitches. Fuck. “You like that, don’t you?”</p>
<p>“Yes daddy.” Harry bites his lower lip again and looks up. “May I . . . may I touch you?” he asks quietly. “And . . . may I . . . take you into my mouth?” He seems to love this game and Louis does too. Louis has never heard him speaking that way. Harry doesn’t budge. His clearly waiting for instructions with his hands pressed onto the mattress, his dick hard against his stomach, still leaking pre-come. His look is heavenly appealing and Louis can’t wait to feel Harry around his length.</p>
<p>“Do you want to, darling? Do you think you can handle daddy’s dick?”</p>
<p>“Yes . . . please let me.”</p>
<p>Louis nods and kisses Harry again. He gets rid of his joggers quickly, then stands in front of Harry. He touches his chin and makes him look up. “Fuck, your eyes are beautiful, gorgeous. Listen . . . you can touch me as you want but when I tell you I’ll need you to open your mouth for me and let me fuck it. Would you be a good boy and do this for me?”</p>
<p>“Yes daddy, whatever you want.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure, baby?”</p>
<p>Harry nods eagerly, determined. “Yes, I’m sure.”</p>
<p>Louis touches Harry’s head and places a gentle kiss onto his forehead. “Okay love. You can touch me now.”</p>
<p>Harry nods as he lets his hand slide up and down Harry’s sides, then down his bum, squeezing it firmly. He looks at Louis’ erection, pulls him closer by his bum cheeks and bites the bulge through the thin fabric of his briefs. He rubs Louis and finally frees his throbbing dick from the fabric. It feels like a relief when Harry gives it some firm licks and starts pumping while he pushes out his tongue to brush it over the red tip while he’s jerking him off. Louis moans at the intense touch as he lets his fingers rake through Harry’s dense curls. As Harry tightens his grip and moves faster, Louis grabs Harry’s hair and pulls it a little bit what makes Harry moan as he lets his hand run up and down Louis’ hard dick. “Fuck baby that feels so good . . .  don’t stop. Oh fuck.” Harry looks up and meets Louis’ gaze what makes Louis want to shove his dick between Harry’s full, pink lips. As Harry continues, he suddenly touches himself. Louis tightens the grip on Harry’s hair to pull him back forcefully. “Who allowed you to touch yourself?” Harry stops stroking himself. He lets his hand rest at the base of his dick, looking at Louis in silence. Louis repeats his question, harsher this time. “Answer me! Who the fuck allowed you to touch yourself while you were pleasing me?”</p>
<p>Harry stays on his knees as he bends his head. “Nobody allowed me that.”</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Sorry, nobody allowed me that, daddy.”</p>
<p>The way Harry obliges is so hot. “Look at me,” Louis tells him. “Do you remember when I told you that I wouldn’t punish you if you were a good boy?” Harry nods. “And what did you do?”</p>
<p>Harry bows his head again. “I touched myself.”</p>
<p>“Which was very bad.”</p>
<p>“Yes daddy, I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Do you think a simple sorry can make up for your mistakes?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“No, of course not but . . . I might know a way. Would you want to know?”</p>
<p>“Please daddy, please tell me.”</p>
<p>“I’m not sure if you can take it, baby. Really not because you might get pretty frightened if I tell you but . . . I fear it’s the only way you can be good for daddy today.”</p>
<p>“I want it.”</p>
<p>Louis touches Harry’s chin again and pulls him up. “Kiss me,” he commands and Harry does so. Their kiss deepens quickly and it’s all hot and filthy and demanding, sending shivers through Louis’ spine as his arousal grows more and more from second to second. He moves his mouth hungrily against Harry’s biting his lips from time to time before he shoves his tongue into Harry’s warm mouth again. “Fuck,” he breathes in between the kiss, “fuck you.” He can feel Harry smiling against his mouth, clearly off character now but Louis decides that to be the end of their kiss since Harry seems equally turned on by it. “Are you laughing at me?” Louis asks as he pushes Harry away.</p>
<p>Harry immediately gets that apologizing look again as he shakes his head frantically. “No daddy, I’m not laughing at you.”</p>
<p>“Show me that you mean it and lay down on your back, your head facing my direction.”</p>
<p>“Okay daddy.” Harry crawls onto the bed and lays down as Louis has told him.</p>
<p>Louis gets closer to his face. “Good boy. And now open that pretty mouth for me.” Louis lets his tip brush against Harry’s lips gently. “Give it a lick, baby,” he instructs and Harry does so, flicking his tongue over Louis’ tip. “Are you sure you can take it? Are you sure you want to make daddy proud of you again?” Harry nods as he opens his mouth widely, sticking his tongue out. “Oh . . . look at you, you filthy little shit. So eager for daddy’s dick, hm? Okay baby,” Louis says as he pushes his dick into Harry’s mouth, “that’s for you.” He bends forward and props up his hands on the bed while he fucks Harry’s mouth slowly at first, making him gag a little but he doesn’t stop. The friction feels heavenly and Harry seems to enjoy it too. “Fuck baby,” Louis moans as he pulls back a little to allow Harry a small break. He bends down to kiss him and caresses his cheek.</p>
<p>“More,” Harry whispers, “please. I haven’t been good enough.”</p>
<p>God, this voice turns Louis on. “That’s true. Let’s do it again.”</p>
<p>“Yes daddy, please.” Harry opens his mouth immediately again and lets his pink tongue show. That’s it, that’s more than an invitation and Louis pushes in again, fucking Harry’s mouth and pumping him as good and firm as he can. As he’s close to his orgasm, he can’t quite keep up the pumping since his concentration has absolutely decreased from the sensation of how Harry’s mouth feels so he stops and props his arms up on the bed only. He moans as he fucks Harry’s mouth, then stops, panting, his chest raising up and down fast. “Kneel down in front of me,” he demands and Harry obliges. Louis grabs Harry’s hair as he pushes in again and fucks hard, moaning and swearing as he has almost reached his high and he’s close. “Oh, fuck I’m . . . I’m coming Harold oh my . . . fucking . . . fucking god!” he nearly yells as he pulls his dick out of Harry’s mouth, steps back and jerks himself off a few more times until he releases onto Harry’s chest with a loud moan. He can’t think clear as he lets his hand run up and down his dick slowly, decreasing the pressure. He stumbles forward and lets himself fall onto the bed, sweaty, gasping for air, feeling hot all over. “Fuuuuck,” he laughs, touching his hot forehead. He covers his eyes for a second, then takes his hands off himself.</p>
<p>“Do you like me again, daddy? Was I good for you?” Jesus, their little game. By a hair Louis would have forgotten Harry was there, still in his character for their dirty little game.</p>
<p>“You were amazing, baby,” Louis says, “come to me.” Louis moves toward the pillows and lays down, signalizing for Harry to nuzzle close to him. Harry does so and Louis puts an arm around Harry, holding him close. Louis kisses him slowly, intensively. “Now let me help you out, too. What do you think? Do you want to come?”</p>
<p>“Please,” Harry breathes as he kisses Louis again hungrily, “I’m so needy.”</p>
<p>Louis pulls Harry closer and kisses his forehead as he starts pumping his hard dick. Harry’s whimpering and moaning sounds heavenly so that Louis feels hot all over again and when he releases, Harry jerks and spasms so hard that Louis could come again from watching him moving next to him alone. “You did so well,” Louis says into Harry’s mouth as he kisses him painfully slow, then pulls back, looking him in the eyes. “You look like a painting . . . freshly fucked. If you could only see yourself.” Louis lets his eyes wander across Harry’s face. His eyes are glossy, his pupils dilated and his cheeks glow in a light, pinkish colour.</p>
<p>“Could I make it up to you?” he asks softly.</p>
<p>Louis caresses Harry’s cheek with his index finger and looks him in the eyes. “Yes, you were fantastic.”</p>
<p>“I loved playing,” Harry smiles, “but it’s getting cold, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Louis says. He gets under the covers and Harry does too. Louis leans his head against Harry’s and listens to his breathing that oddly comforts him.</p>
<p>“Fuck Lou . . . this was so hot.”</p>
<p>Louis smirks. “You’re such a little shit, Harold. Such a little shit. Who would have thought you have a daddy kink? Look how right I was when I asked you about in what situations you weren’t in control and I think . . . I found your weak spot.”</p>
<p>“Sherlock, I’d say.”</p>
<p>Louis chuckles. “Yeah.”</p>
<p>“I loved it . . . you were such a good daddy.”</p>
<p>“Stop the fuck using this voice on me, Harold.”</p>
<p>Harry tilts his head. “Or?”</p>
<p>“More daddy instructions for you, my friend.”</p>
<p>“I can’t wait.”</p>
<p>Both guys laugh, then Harry gets up from the bed. “I’ll take a quick shower,” he announces as he grabs some fresh underwear from his suitcase.</p>
<p>“But close the door because I might wait for another possibility.” Louis smirks and wiggles his eyebrows.</p>
<p>Harry walks around the bed and gives Louis a soft kiss. “You were the best daddy I could have ever imagined, thank you.” Louis just smiles at Harry’s words, happy that he could impress him. He gets up to wash his hands in the kitchen, then he gets under the covers again and waits for Harry to come back. As Harry steps into the room, Louis stares at his body immediately, following his every move with his eyes. His sex appeal is extraordinary and his body in combination with all the tattoos looks like a wonderland, unreal. Yes, Louis has seen his body before but it hits him harder every time.</p>
<p>“Fuck you look beautiful, Harold,” Louis says as he scrutinizes Harry from head to toe. He didn’t want to say that aloud but obviously, he speaks faster than he thinks.</p>
<p>“Thank you, Lou.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0070"><h2>70. DISCREPANCIES</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis sits up and leans his head against the wall. “I bet you are used to people saying that to you, aren’t you?”</p>
<p>“Louis!” Harry moans as he flops down in bed. “Why are you saying that? It makes me so uncomfortable.”</p>
<p>Suddenly, the vibe between Harry and Louis changes and Louis doesn’t like it. “What?” he asks. “I just asked you a question because I thought you must be used to it.” He nearly sounds like an offended child.</p>
<p>“Do you listen to yourself?” Harry pulls the covers up to his stomach and puts his hands into his lap.</p>
<p>“Why are you making such a fuss about a simple question?”</p>
<p>“I? Louis, please.”</p>
<p>“It was just a question, nothing else,” Louis says. He turns around and pulls his covers over his shoulder. “Good night, Harry.” Louis is huffy, very huffy. He doesn’t understand what he did wrong and that Harry talks to him in this particular tone hurts him. He feels rejected by the person he wants to be the closest to right now. They have spent a good time together until now and that also bothers Louis a lot. It’s also some kind of jealousy that’s creeping up inside Louis because he can’t stop thinking of with how many people Harry has had sex already or flings or whatever. Harry is too beautiful, too smart, too kind, too everything and that’s what scares Louis in a way he has never felt that before but has he even the right to feel that way? They kiss and stuff but genuinely they’re not a couple although it feels like it. What if Harry is just playing with Louis because it’s fun for him or maybe because he wants to experience something else? Sex with a guy might just be some entertainment at this point, just fun without any background thoughts and yes, Louis knows what he’s thinking about because he likes sex himself and he doesn’t mind one-night stands. If the situation was right, Louis hasn’t declined any but when he thinks about that when it comes to Harry, the jealousy seems to be present all the time. The thought of Harry doing this with others, especially women, makes Louis cringe and toxic bubbles stir in his stomach. Harry’s story of his ex-girlfriend upset Louis when he told him about her and for whatever reason it started bothering him when he noticed Harry’s perfect body and he’s sure that he has never seen someone like him. Louis doesn’t feel pretty next to Harry. He feels like Harry is some human wonder who was created by angels when it rained milk and honey up in the sky. In contrast to him, Louis is just a typical skinny white young man with defined arms but that was it. His stomach isn’t perfect like Harry’s, he even has a little tummy and his skin is too light. But wouldn’t everyone look bad next to Harry? What is he even thinking this? Why are those turbid thought crossing his mind? What, if Harry really just wanted to enjoy his time with Louis as long as both of them were willing to do it? What if Louis will never see him again after their last stunt? What if Harry will meet someone at one of his shows while Louis is touring? What if it was impossible to be together with him? What if he didn’t want more but fun, adventures and cuddles? The thoughts drive him crazy. Louis thinks of the day when Harry massaged his neck. He might have done that to someone else before and the imagination makes his stomach turn. Louis doesn’t want others to be touched by Harry, he doesn’t want that. He wants to be the only one, just him, nobody else. Lost in thought he startles when he feels a touch on his hip.</p>
<p>“Louis?” Harry says quietly, squeezing Louis’ hip. “I didn’t mean it.” Louis doesn’t answer. He’s ashamed of his thoughts, he feels uncomfortable because of his weird outburst of jealousy and he just feels lost. How did it come to this? He feels the mattress shifting at first, then Harry spoons him from behind and wraps his arm around him. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk.”</p>
<p>Louis really doesn’t want to talk because if he did, he might cry. What the fuck. He’s not the type who cries easily and more than ever not because of some weird feelings but since he’s been stunting with Harry, his eyes have been wet quite a few times without him wanting it. What are those emotions Harry triggers in him? Or is it because he broke up with Matt and the thought of being single again scares him? It might be that too, maybe he just doesn’t want to lose . . . whatever it is. If he only knew. The chaos in his head seems endless with no answers to it. “Stay like this,” Louis says barely audible since his voice seems to be gone. “Please,” he adds in a whisper and when Harry presses a gentle kiss onto his shoulder, he feels like crying. He doesn’t want to lose Harry and maybe it’s the fact that he knows that by tomorrow afternoon, they will be parted again.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0071"><h2>71. MARRIED?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the morning, Louis wakes up to an empty bed next to him. It’s almost eleven. Where is Harry? He also hasn’t sent him any messages. The queasy feeling in Louis’ stomach doesn’t feel nice and thoughts of yesterday’s feelings cloud his mind. Louis was probably too naïve when he thought he could wake up next to Harry in the morning. Obviously, Harry had other plans. Louis looks for a written note but he can’t find one. Harry’s bed is messy as usual. He’s probably jogging, Louis thinks but then he questions the time. It’s late and their stunt plan says they have to be at Central Park in about two hours and Harry usually jogs early in the morning. Louis groans, rubs his face and takes a deep breath. Why is everything so complicated? It’s the first day of the new year and that’s not the start Louis had pictured. He sits up in his bed and looks out of the windows. It’s snowing outside so that the skyscrapers are almost hidden behind a greyish wall of fog and snow. The view makes Louis want to stay in bed all day long but the situation with Harry dulls his thoughts. Louis shivers from the cold. Why can’t Harry be with him?</p>
<p>Louis decides to get up and shower. He wants to message Harry but also, he thinks about if Harry would want that. Since Louis isn’t sure of it, he doesn’t message. He gets dressed after showering and packs his bags. One hour later, Louis decides to go to the bar and have a snack because he’s hungry. As he walks down the stairs, he hears a familiar deep laugh and the happy voice of a younger woman. The man’s voice is clearly Harry, there’s no doubt about it. Louis feels a sting in his heart. Who is with him and why? On one hand, Louis wants to know but on the other hand, he wishes he wouldn’t have come here.</p>
<p>“I think this is wonderful,” the female voice says, “I missed that.” She chuckles.</p>
<p>“Same love, same. Remember when we sat there and thought this might be it?”</p>
<p>“Yes, I felt it was the right place to do it.”</p>
<p>“Absolutely. And you looked wonderful in that dress, absolutely amazing.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad you liked it . . . you were so happy.” Louis can hear Harry chuckling.</p>
<p>“I’m always happy when you’re around but yeah, it was the day, the occasion, everything.”</p>
<p>“I was so nervous.”</p>
<p>“Me too, for you and for me. Your hands made some magic, truly magical.”</p>
<p>“Someone told me you had a pretty . . . how should I say, a pretty active night afterwards, didn’t you?”</p>
<p>The woman laughs. “As if you wouldn’t know.”</p>
<p>“I’m joking, I’m joking. So, this is definitely forever, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Yes . . . yes, it is and without you, I wouldn’t be where I am now. Thank you, Harry.”</p>
<p>“You’re welcome. You know I love you, darling.”</p>
<p>What the fuck is this conversation? Did Harry lie to him? Is he in a relationship with someone but pretending being single? Hot and cold waves rush through Harry’s body, making him feel dizzy. What did Harry say? It was definitely forever? Is he married? To her? Did he have sex with her? She was talking about his hands being magical and Louis’ imagination is running wild. Why didn’t Harry tell him the truth? Is he hiding something? Why? Did Harry play him, did he just use him as he had thought? What if they have an open relationship where they can meet others as much as they want? What if Harry cheated on her like Louis cheated on Matt? Thinking of Matt, Louis’ bad conscience kicks in immediately and for a second, he feels the slight urge to call him and tell him he’s sorry and that he wants him back. What the fuck. Louis doesn’t pay attention to the conversation anymore as he turns around to walk up to his room again. He feels like everything has finished before it has even begun. Did everything just happen because of their little fight? All the happy moments they shared are gone and Louis feels empty, as if someone had sucked out all his energy. He feels terrible. How is he supposed to stunt with Harry after this? After knowing Harry lied to him and played him like a fool? Louis wishes he could fly home now. As he opens the door to his hotel room, he feels miserable. He feels like vomiting and his head aches from his negative thoughts.</p>
<p>Five minutes later, Louis finds himself standing in front of Sophie’s door, telling her that he can’t stunt today. He calls a taxi and leaves the hotel after a while. Five hours later, he sobs into the soft pillow of his first-class seat, trying to numb his pain with a playlist that Matt had created for Louis before the tour had started. Although Louis manages to fall asleep, time doesn’t seem to go by.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0072"><h2>72. SEEKING COMFORT</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The hours until he finally unlocks the door to his apartment seem endless and Louis just feels exhausted. Exhausted and incredibly sad. Why is everything such a mess? He lets himself fall onto his bed and stays there for hours until the sun goes down. Louis feels miserable, absolutely miserable. As he takes his phone, he sees that he has several calls from Harry. No, he doesn’t want to talk to him now. Louis deletes the information and deals Riley’s number. She answers after the third ring. “Louis! Are you back again? Happy new year!” her voice sounds so happy that it makes Louis smile a little bit.</p>
<p>“Hey love,” he says but as happy as he tries to sound, he can’t overplay the fact that he’s heartbroken, “yeah, I’m back.”</p>
<p>“Oh . . . what’s wrong Lou? Do you want me to come over?”</p>
<p>“Please, I need you,” Louis says, his voice coming out as a whisper as a tear rolls down his cheek without warning.</p>
<p>“I’m on my way darling,” Riley says quickly. “Do you want me to stay with you tonight?”</p>
<p>“Yes, please,” Louis sobs as he takes his phone down and stares out of the window while the tears just keep coming without him wanting it. “Fuck,” he yells as he throws his phone onto his bed. The device jumps and falls down onto the floor, display down. Louis gets up to grab his phone but it’s heavily damaged. The screen is broken and no matter what Louis does, it stays black. He sinks back onto his bed, covering his eyes with the broken phone in his hands, feeling defeated and helpless. It’s his private phone, not the one he uses for work what makes it even worse. Louis throws it onto the bed again and lays down, waiting those endless minutes until the doorbell rings.</p>
<p>When Riley sees Louis, she just hugs him without saying a word. When she pulls back, Louis takes her hand and leads her into the living room where she sits down on the sofa. Louis gets her a glass of water, then sits down next to her and buries his head into her neck. The girl wraps her arms around Louis and caresses his back in a comforting gesture. “You sounded so sad on the phone, what happened?”</p>
<p>Louis leans his head onto a huge pillow. “Everything is a mess, Ri. Everything. I don’t even know where to start.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to talk. I can just be here with you.”</p>
<p>“No,” Louis shakes his head, “I want to talk. You’re my best friend and I think it will feel good to get it off my chest.”</p>
<p>Riley touches Louis’ shoulder and gives him a smile. “That’s what I love about you. You’re not like other guys, you know. You’re emotional, you tell people what you think. Guys usually don’t talk about things like you do and that’s what makes you so special. I know you don’t cry much but if you do, it must hurt you a lot so . . . yes, if you feel comfortable you can tell me whatever it is. I won’t judge you. I promise.”</p>
<p>“I know Ri, I know. I can be who I really am around you and that’s something special too.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Louis.”</p>
<p>“I mean this whole thing has been such a mess from the beginning and it got worse when I developed feelings toward Harry. I would have never thought this might be possible and you know how much I doubted that at first.” Riley nods but doesn’t say anything. “I was such a terrible boyfriend for Matt because of him or better, because of my fucked feelings for Harry I couldn’t control for shit.” He rubs his face.</p>
<p>“Do you regret that you broke up with Matt?”</p>
<p>“Yes because of him and no because of me. I feel like shit about how and why it happened but if I’m honest, I couldn’t be who he wanted me to be. Harry was on my mind all the time and I think he knew. He was aware of that from the beginning and I should have told him earlier but honestly, I wasn’t able to sort out my feelings. I was such an emotional mess.”</p>
<p>“I can understand.”</p>
<p>“You’re probably the only one who understands me. I think everyone else would have judged me already.”</p>
<p>“It’s always easier when you’re not in the situation, when you’re not the person who is involved but everyone has their personal reasons for decisions.”</p>
<p>“Thank you, Ri. You’re truly a friend.”</p>
<p>Riley gives Louis a smile and puts her hand onto his shoulder. “So are you.”</p>
<p>“Thanks love. So . . .  talking about decisions . . . after Matt and I broke up, well, after Matt broke up with me, I felt terrible but also, I loved being with Harry. Being with him meant so much to me, I felt secure and comfortable around him and he treated me so well and you know, stunting didn’t feel like stunting anymore. It was more like . . . you know, it felt like we were together, like a real couple.” Louis pauses. “Yeah, it felt that way.”</p>
<p>Riley frowns. “But . . . aren’t you two together now?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. It felt like it but we never said it and then . . . the day before yesterday happened and now I don’t even know if he likes me anymore.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“We had a little fight, nothing serious but still and the morning after our New York Eve stunt, he wasn’t in the room. First, jogging came to my mind because he likes doing that in the morning but then I thought it was too late for that. I wanted to grab something to eat since I was hungry so I went down to the little bar and heard his voice. He was talking with a woman and from what I heard . . . I think they’re together or even worse, married.” The mere thought of this makes Louis feel terrible and the jealousy creeps up inside of his body again, twisting his stomach and tugging at his heart.</p>
<p>“Do you think he played you?”</p>
<p>Louis feels a lump building in his throat and he has to fight his tears. He stares at the table in front of him, feeling empty. “I don’t know.” Louis bites his lip, wiping his eye. He can’t hold the tears back. His emotions are running wild thinking about Harry being with someone else. That’s how Matt must have felt all the time, Louis thinks. Heartbroken and sad. Not just for hours but for days, weeks, maybe months. “Fuck,” says quietly. A few tears are wetting his face. “I’ve never cried so much over someone, why now?”</p>
<p>“Hey,” Riley says quietly and scoots closer to Louis, rubbing his shoulder. “That’s because you love him.”</p>
<p>“And what about Harry? I don’t know he . . . he said that she looked pretty, that the night was wild, that he loved her and he called her darling. I . . . I don’t know who she is or why they met but all I know is that I’m hurt and I mean . . .  look at him.” Louis pauses to wipe his eyes and takes a deep breath. “He’s the most beautiful man in the world, he’s charming, he’s kind . . . who wouldn’t want to be with him?”</p>
<p>Riley smiles. “You didn’t want to believe me when I said parts of that to you.” Her voice isn’t gleeful at all.</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>“But that’s not important, I mean . . . I didn’t or I don’t know him anyway the way you know him so sorry for that stupid sentence.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”</p>
<p>“And you think he’s in a relationship with this woman?”</p>
<p>“Yes,” he cries silently, “I think he is and you know, he was an actor in a movie before.”</p>
<p>“And now you think that he might have acted?”</p>
<p>“It hurts so much to imagine that but also everything we had felt so real.”</p>
<p>“When you’re in love, you often see things differently.”</p>
<p>“I know. But I don’t want this to be only a game. I felt so terrible that I told Sophie I was sick so I could fly home earlier. We had a stunt planned at Central Park but I couldn’t do that, I just couldn’t.”</p>
<p>“Have you talked to him about it?”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head frantically. “No. It would have killed me. I just wanted to leave.” Louis pauses. “But he has tried to call me several times.”</p>
<p>“Don’t you think you should call him back? He was probably shocked when he came back and you weren’t there anymore.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think so. He was with his girlfriend or wife or whoever this person was, I doubt that he missed me.”</p>
<p>“I think you should call him.”</p>
<p>“I can’t. I want to be with him all the time but also, hearing the truth would destroy me, literally destroy me. I miss him so fucking much but also, I hate him. I hate him for doing this to me.” Louis’ last words drown in his tears. “It hurts so fucking much, I can’t even tell you. I just want to sleep and never wake up.”</p>
<p>“Oh Lou, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what to say.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know what to say either. The worst thing is that we’ll have to stunt in a few days and I have no idea how I can manage it. I can’t dodge it again, I know that.”</p>
<p>“You know, you should give yourself time to process everything. You’ll probably feel a little better tomorrow and then . . . yeah I think you should definitely talk to him.”</p>
<p>“And for what? To get hurt even more?”</p>
<p>Riley sighs. “It might happen, yes but also, there might be another reason that’s not as horrible as you think. It’s basically 50/50.”</p>
<p>“I’m afraid of that.”</p>
<p>“I know. I’d be too but it’s something you have to decide on your own. You’re strong, you can do that, Lou. And if something should happen, you can always count on me. I could offer you ice-cream.”</p>
<p>Riley’s last remark makes Louis smile a little bit. “You’re cute. Ice-cream sounds good but you know what? I’m quite hungry. Should we order pizza?”</p>
<p>“Pizza is always a good solution for every problem.”</p>
<p>“You’re right and you’re invited.” As Riley opens her mouth to say something, Louis silences her. “No, no discussion. You’re invited.”</p>
<p>“Okay,” she smiles, “I didn’t want to say anything.”</p>
<p>“As if I knew,” Louis winks. He feels a little bit better after talking to Riley but still, the queasy feeling in his stomach is giving him a hard time. About one hour later, Louis and Riley munch their pizza while watching a movie on Netflix. After the movie has finished, they get ready for bed and lay down. “Ri?” Louis asks into the dark after they’ve already wished each other a good night.</p>
<p>“Yes?”</p>
<p>“I can’t think of anything else than him.”</p>
<p>“When would you see him again if you didn’t call him before?”</p>
<p>“In three days.”</p>
<p>“Do you think you could just appear there without having talked to him?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“Maybe you can decide tomorrow.”</p>
<p>“I’m scared.”</p>
<p>“Love is scary.”</p>
<p>“Only when you’re on the wrong side.”</p>
<p>After Riley has left the next morning, Louis feels a little better. He slept well and everything seems a little bit easier, lighter now. Louis cleans the dishes that are left from the breakfast table, then he sits down on his sofa to check his phone. There are no new calls or messages from Harry. Of course not, Louis would have also stopped messaging probably if he didn’t answer. He sighs as he opens their last chat. It takes him minutes to decide what to write. What the fuck? Louis has never been that insecure when it came to relationships – not that he had many but still. Harry doesn’t answer for a long time and Louis grows impatient. He can’t do anything else but waiting. Would Harry even message back? Minutes seem like hours while Louis stares at his phone, opening his chat with Harry again and again. As he lays there on his sofa, he thinks about what could be the worst scenario what makes him feel anxious about what Harry will tell him or what he will maybe tell him. Every time his phone beeps, Louis hopes it’s Harry but somehow, he also hopes it’s not him. What a mess. Should he have sent him another message than a simple hello? But what? Hello is neutral, he thinks and puts his phone down again. Hours later, Louis finally gets a message from Harry and he nearly drops his phone by what he reads in the beginning. He feels nervous and he’s almost scared of what Harry has written.</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry    Are you kidding me? You disappear without saying a word, you don’t answer my calls and now you’re sending me a simple hello like nothing has happened? Seriously, Louis, this is so weak. I thought our relationship was better than that.</em>
</p>
<p>A wave of heat rises in Louis’ body as he reads Harry’s text and all he can do is stare at the words. Fuck. He wasn’t expecting that but . . . what was he expecting?</p>
<p>
  <em>Louis     Can we talk?</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>Harry    We’ll see each other in three days. I’m not in the mood to talk to you right now, to be honest. I tried to call you but you obviously didn’t want to talk to me. I’d prefer a personal talk over messaging or a phone call.</em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0073"><h2>73. TOO MANY THOUGHTS, ACCUSED</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Accused should have been the next chapter but I forgot to create it. I had everything uploaded already so I didn't want to delete my following chapters . . . so I just combined them in here. : )</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Louis feels anxious when he travels to Austria for his stunt holidays with Harry. Before their dispute, he was really looking forward to it but now it doesn’t feel as exciting as it used to. After their last chat, Louis couldn’t relax at all although he was with his family. Technically, he got distracted a lot but it never worked out. Harry was on his mind all the time, Harry and the fact that their next encounter wouldn’t be as joyful and happy and exciting as the ones before.</p><p>Louis arrives first at the cosy hotel room. This room has nothing to do with the luxury hotels he usually stays at with One Direction. The village is a typical ski hotspot but still, the hotels and houses aren’t too huge what underlines the atmosphere of the region. Everything around him is covered in a thick, fluffy layer of snow. The houses are all built in the traditional style and also the room fits the surroundings perfectly. Almost everything is made of wood and the ceilings aren’t high what gives the room an extraordinary, comfortable and cosy look. This could be such a lovely place if there wasn’t this problem waiting to be solved.</p><p>After unpacking his bags, Louis lays down on his bed and looks out of the window. The landscape looks so beautiful and so calm at the same time. Winter time is Louis’ favourite weather. He loves snow so much. He’s not into skiing that much. He prefers taking long walks in the snow, especially when the weather is really cold and it’s a little windy. To hear the crunching snow underneath his shoes is such a wonderful sound and breathing in the clean, fresh air always feels like a tiny holiday for his lungs. But as much as Louis is happy about the room and the snow outside, he can’t relax at all. It’s not the stunting that bothers him anymore but how Harry will react when they will meet each other again. Louis doesn’t know when Harry will arrive since they haven’t messaged anymore. To distract himself he decides to walk through the village. The fresh and cold air hits his cheeks as he’s walking along the snowy streets until he reaches the end of the village. On his way back to the hotel, Louis wishes the queasy feeling in his stomach would to go away. He wants to be happy because of Harry but what if this will never happen again? If Harry played Louis, the memories would be the only thing he could keep in his heart but Louis doesn’t want that. He can’t even imagine losing Harry this way. “But you did that to Matt,” his inner voice tells him, “you lied to him and betrayed him. You played him, too. If that happened to you, it would only be fair.”</p><p>“Shut the fuck up,” Louis mumbles quietly to silence his inner voice. In his room, there’s still no sign of Harry and Louis grows impatient. He paces around for a while, then he thinks about having lunch on his own but then he decides to wait. Is he even hungry? Probably not. All Louis wants is to talk to Harry and that’s it. He wants to clarify what is or what’s not between them. Louis takes out the stunt plan Sophie has printed out for him. After the stunts are done, they are allowed to spend the rest of the time however they want. Louis wonders if Harry would like to spend his free time with him after what happened. The plan says that there’s one stunt in the morning before lunchtime where they have to ski, then they should just walk around the village and have lunch at a certain place. The next day they have time off until the afternoon. After that they have to ski again and stay in one of the most known party cabins up in the mountains that’s next to the lift station. On the third day, they will leave again. Since their stunts have been successful for a long time, Sia spontaneous shortened the holiday from four to two and a half days. The paparazzi are already instructed and also Rob and Ben are going to be near Harry and Louis during the stunts but practically hidden to make the whole thing appear more “real”. Sia wanted them only to appear whenever Louis and Harry would be in danger but still have an eye on them. Louis has already talked to Rob and Ben because he thought this was rude but Rob assured Louis they would also enjoy their stay and Louis shouldn’t make up his mind about them being bored or whatever.</p><p>Louis suddenly startles as he hears the door being opened. He can see Harry taking off his beanie, shaking his head to get his curls into place.  “Hey,” Harry greets Louis as he walks into the living room, pulling his suitcase after him toward the bedroom. His voice is low, his eyes don’t sparkle as they usually do.</p><p>“Hey,” Louis answers, feeling the lump in his throat getting bigger. Harry puts his suitcase into the bedroom where he unpacks some things as Louis can hear from where he’s seated. He doesn’t know what to do next. Should he go there and talk to Harry or should he wait until he will start a conversation? Louis decides to stay where he is and let Harry do whatever he feels like doing. He wouldn’t know what to say anyways. On one hand, it kind of hurts him that he can’t hug Harry or give him a kiss but on the other hand, he doesn’t feel like it right now. Meeting Harry again reminded Louis of what he witnessed when he heard him talking to that woman at the hotel so it’s hard for him to imagine what the next hours will be like, let alone the next days.</p><p>When Harry walks out of the bedroom, he has changed into his cosy clothes Louis loves so much on him. He flops down on one of the armchairs that surround the dark green sofa. They sit like that in silence for a while and it’s not comfortable silence, for sure. “Don’t you have anything to say to me or will it be just like that all the time?” Harry suddenly breaks the silence.</p><p>“Don’t you think I could ask you the same?” Louis snaps. He knows he shouldn’t talk to Harry like that but his mood doesn’t allow him to be any friendlier. Harry’s tone hurts Louis. The way he’s looking at him too and the feeling inside of him is definitely not anger which would feel a little better, probably.</p><p>“What are you talking about?”</p><p>“Why didn’t you tell me that you have a girlfriend or that you’re married?” Louis can feel his disappointment and the anger mixing in his guts and the result is a sting that hits directly into his heart. He’s close to tears just out of the blue and this unfamiliar feeling of overwhelming sadness is nearly killing him. Louis blinks a tear away quickly.</p><p>Harry looks at him with a frown, clearly caught by surprise. “What are you talking about?”</p><p>“Oh, please stop fooling me, Harry. First you treated me as if you liked me, you kissed me and stuff and then you cheated on me while I was waiting for you? Seriously? And you want to tell me that you don’t know what I’m talking about? Do you think I’m an idiot?” Louis lets out a sarcastic laugh. “I bet you were a fantastic actor in that movie of yours because the game you played with me has been perfectly staged so far!”</p><p>“First of all, cheating is only possible when two people are in a relationship.” Harry looks serious now, too serious and reserved and Louis’ heart drops. The wrinkle that’s always visible between his eyebrows grows even more prominent. “Secondly, I still don’t know what you are talking about and I can’t understand why you’re attacking me that way. Third, just because I played a role in a movie, it doesn’t mean I’m acting in real life – for whatever reason you accuse me of that.”</p><p>“You’re so cruel,” Louis almost whispers as he feels tears pooling in his eyes again. He can’t look Harry in the eyes anymore. He can’t stand this cold, stern look Harry gives him. The tone in his voice has shifted to a sound that hurts Louis deep inside. He has never felt such a level of sadness and disgust at the same time, ever. “Sorry but . . . I can’t.” Louis gets up from the sofa, walks into the bedroom and closes the door behind him. He lays down on his side of the bed and stares out of the window. The landscape is amazingly beautiful but what is it worth when your feelings are a fucking mess and you’re the saddest person in the world? Louis grabs a decorative pillow and presses it against his chest as he starts crying without even wanting it. Harry’s words hurt him so much. What was Louis thinking? That this was the beginning of a serious relationship? How wrong he was. Obviously, Louis was right. Harry was just playing with him.</p><p>After a while, Louis can hear the entrance door click shut. He stays in his spot and listens but there’s no other sound to be heard. The fact that Harry has left doesn’t really help although Louis needed to get away from him for a while. He feels awful. If he’s honest to himself, he wants Harry to come back and talk to him. He wants Harry to hug him, to kiss him, to tell him everything will be alright. Louis hates feeling this way so much but also, he was and he still is so fucking angry.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
<h1>74 Accused</h1><p>When Louis wakes up, the room is almost dark except for the dimmed light that comes from the small night lamp on Harry’s bedside table. Louis can hear Harry flipping through a book next to him but he doesn’t dare to move. He’s even more insecure about what he should say now after his first attempt to confront Harry with his issue. After a while, Louis turns around and looks at Harry. It doesn’t take long until Harry turns his head and looks at him too. This time, his face seems relaxed but still, his eyes aren’t sparkling. Well . . . they were practically fighting, how could they. Harry doesn’t say anything as he concentrates on his book again and continues reading. Louis stays quiet at first, then he decides to start the conversation. He just hopes he can contain himself and also, he hopes that Harry will not block his attempt. “Can we talk?” he asks, insecurity noticeable in his voice.</p><p>“Do you want to talk or accuse me of made up things again?”</p><p>“No, I . . . I want to talk.” Louis sits down in his bed, pulling the covers up. Harry sighs as he puts his book away. “How can those things be made up when I heard you.”</p><p>“You’re doing it again.”</p><p>“I heard what I heard.”</p><p>“Then let’s end this conversation because you seem to be quite sure about everything.” Harry rolls his eyes as he’s about to turn around again.</p><p>“I heard you talking to a woman,” Louis blurts out. “You told her how beautiful she looked that day . . . she said that your hands were magical, that whatever it was, was forever and that you loved her.” Louis picks on the pillow he has put onto his lap. “It’s clear that you played with my feelings.”</p><p>“I don’t understand how you managed to listen to our conversation.”</p><p>“Does it matter how? The fact that I shouldn’t have listened is proof enough for me.”</p><p>“You got that wrong. I have never played with you or your feelings.”</p><p>“I got that wrong? Those were exactly the words I heard.”</p><p>“The context was completely different.”</p><p>“Oh really!”</p><p>Harry takes a deep breath and exhales audibly. “Louis. The woman was Walijah, my friend I spent time with in Paris. I met her by chance as she was staying at the same hotel as we did.”</p><p>“What a coincidence,” Louis growls.</p><p>“Stop being like that. There’s no reason for you to be grumpy.”</p><p>“I’m not grumpy.”</p><p>“Sure, you are.” Harry pauses. “I don’t have a girlfriend and I’m not married to anyone.”</p><p>“How your voice sounded was enough proof to me.”</p><p>“We were talking about her wedding where I took pictures and that’s why she said I had magical hands.” Harry sighs. “She looked beautiful in her dress and yes, I love her but as a friend. She’s a wonderful person.”</p><p>“You don’t talk to people just like that.”</p><p>“That’s how I sound, Louis . . .  but obviously you don’t want to believe me.” Harry looks at Louis but as he doesn’t react, he lays down again and continues reading. Louis stays quiet as he lays down too, not facing Harry. Even now, Louis is jealous and something deep inside hurts him. It’s such a consuming feeling that makes Louis doubt his thoughts but also Harry’s. He’s an actor, he could do anything, he could say anything without Louis noticing it was a lie. But would Harry really do that? Louis thinks and thinks. He’s not grumpy, he’s hurt but he is too proud to admit that right now. In his mind, he repeats Harry’s words over and over again and somehow, he wants to believe him but also, he doesn’t. Louis is torn and even more insecure than before. He stays like this for minutes until his feelings overwhelm him. He wants to talk to Harry and tell him how much he wants everything to be normal again and he wants to be close to Harry again but also, he feels stupid for still questioning his view and too proud to admit it, even to himself. The pain in his heart aches immensely and the burn feels like fire and ice at the same time. His stomach is about to turn as sadness takes over. Louis feels hot tears falling from his eyes as he tries to hold them back but he can’t. He would like to vanish into thin air immediately or travel back in time, back to the hotel where he would have stayed in his room to text Harry instead of walking down the stairs in order to look for him. Why did he even do that when he could have texted or called him? As he lets out a quiet sob, Louis feels incredibly embarrassed. It feels like hours until Louis feels Harry’s hand on his back, rubbing it gently.</p><p> </p><p>This part should have been 74 but I forgot to post it so here it is:</p><p>When Louis wakes up, the room is almost dark except for the dimmed light that comes from the small night lamp on Harry’s bedside table. Louis can hear Harry flipping through a book next to him but he doesn’t dare to move. He’s even more insecure about what he should say now after his first attempt to confront Harry with his issue. After a while, Louis turns around and looks at Harry. It doesn’t take long until Harry turns his head and looks at him too. This time, his face seems relaxed but still, his eyes aren’t sparkling. Well . . . they were practically fighting, how could they. Harry doesn’t say anything as he concentrates on his book again and continues reading. Louis stays quiet at first, then he decides to start the conversation. He just hopes he can contain himself and also, he hopes that Harry will not block his attempt. “Can we talk?” he asks, insecurity noticeable in his voice.</p><p>“Do you want to talk or accuse me of made up things again?”</p><p>“No, I . . . I want to talk.” Louis sits down in his bed, pulling the covers up. Harry sighs as he puts his book away. “How can those things be made up when I heard you.”</p><p>“You’re doing it again.”</p><p>“I heard what I heard.”</p><p>“Then let’s end this conversation because you seem to be quite sure about everything.” Harry rolls his eyes as he’s about to turn around again.</p><p>“I heard you talking to a woman,” Louis blurts out. “You told her how beautiful she looked that day . . . she said that your hands were magical, that whatever it was, was forever and that you loved her.” Louis picks on the pillow he has put onto his lap. “It’s clear that you played with my feelings.”</p><p>“I don’t understand how you managed to listen to our conversation.”</p><p>“Does it matter how? The fact that I shouldn’t have listened is proof enough for me.”</p><p>“You got that wrong. I have never played with you or your feelings.”</p><p>“I got that wrong? Those were exactly the words I heard.”</p><p>“The context was completely different.”</p><p>“Oh really!”</p><p>Harry takes a deep breath and exhales audibly. “Louis. The woman was Walijah, my friend I spent time with in Paris. I met her by chance as she was staying at the same hotel as we did.”</p><p>“What a coincidence,” Louis growls.</p><p>“Stop being like that. There’s no reason for you to be grumpy.”</p><p>“I’m not grumpy.”</p><p>“Sure, you are.” Harry pauses. “I don’t have a girlfriend and I’m not married to anyone.”</p><p>“How your voice sounded was enough proof to me.”</p><p>“We were talking about her wedding where I took pictures and that’s why she said I had magical hands.” Harry sighs. “She looked beautiful in her dress and yes, I love her but as a friend. She’s a wonderful person.”</p><p>“You don’t talk to people just like that.”</p><p>“That’s how I sound, Louis . . .  but obviously you don’t want to believe me.” Harry looks at Louis but as he doesn’t react, he lays down again and continues reading. Louis stays quiet as he lays down too, not facing Harry. Even now, Louis is jealous and something deep inside hurts him. It’s such a consuming feeling that makes Louis doubt his thoughts but also Harry’s. He’s an actor, he could do anything, he could say anything without Louis noticing it was a lie. But would Harry really do that? Louis thinks and thinks. He’s not grumpy, he’s hurt but he is too proud to admit that right now. In his mind, he repeats Harry’s words over and over again and somehow, he wants to believe him but also, he doesn’t. Louis is torn and even more insecure than before. He stays like this for minutes until his feelings overwhelm him. He wants to talk to Harry and tell him how much he wants everything to be normal again and he wants to be close to Harry again but also, he feels stupid for still questioning his view and too proud to admit it, even to himself. The pain in his heart aches immensely and the burn feels like fire and ice at the same time. His stomach is about to turn as sadness takes over. Louis feels hot tears falling from his eyes as he tries to hold them back but he can’t. He would like to vanish into thin air immediately or travel back in time, back to the hotel where he would have stayed in his room to text Harry instead of walking down the stairs in order to look for him. Why did he even do that when he could have texted or called him? As he lets out a quiet sob, Louis feels incredibly embarrassed. It feels like hours until Louis feels Harry’s hand on his back, rubbing it gently.</p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0074"><h2>74. POURING OIL ON TROUBLED WATER</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Don’t you believe me?” Harry says softly. His voice is so different now, almost soothing but also hurting, what the fuck. Louis doesn’t answer at first. He feels too embarrassed and a little bit too proud. When Harry pulls back, Louis stays in his position for a while but then he decides to talk. Staying quiet wouldn’t help anyone.</p>
<p>“I’m not grumpy,” Louis says quietly. He pauses for a while, then he decides to tell Harry the truth. He takes a deep breath. “I’m hurt.” He wipes his eyes. At least he’s not crying although he feels like it. “It hurt me when you said that we weren’t in a relationship.”</p>
<p>“It was stupid of me to say this.”</p>
<p>“It was stupid of me to think . . . whatever I was thinking. I don’t know. I’m also sorry for running away. I should have talked to you and I’m also sorry for asking this stupid question, you know.”</p>
<p>“Forget about the question, it’s okay. I think I overreacted too. We can’t turn back time but when it comes to feelings, we all make mistakes.”</p>
<p>“You don’t.”</p>
<p>“I do, Lou. I’m not your Mister Perfect anyway.” Harry gives Louis a small smile.</p>
<p>“I’m glad those days are gone. I didn’t mean it.”</p>
<p>“I know. It was just to annoy me and I’m over it. But . . .  what about my voice, you mentioned the way I talked to my friend – what about that?”</p>
<p>The thought of it stings a little in Louis’ heart but he pushes this feeling away. “It sounded like . . . like it sounded when you sometimes talked to me. I don’t know how to describe it. I love your voice, it’s soothing and warm and it feels like you use that special tone sometimes and when I heard you talking to her like that it hurt me deep inside as if you were cheating on me.” Louis covers his face with his hands because he feels himself flushing immensely. He’s never been that honest to anyone when it came to his feelings and that makes him feel weird. “Sorry,” he mumbles, “this was stupid of me to say. We’re not in a relationship and you can do whatever you want. I don’t know what’s happening.” He sighs as he takes his hands away. “I’m also sorry for overreacting.”</p>
<p>Harry doesn’t answer. He just looks at Louis as he puts his hand onto his cheek, gently caressing it with his thumb as he leans in to give him a gentle, soft kiss onto his lips. As he pulls back, his eyes seem to sparkle again. “What if I want to?” he asks with a low voice, taking Louis’ hand in his.</p>
<p>“Holding my hand?”</p>
<p>Harry chuckles. “No, silly. What would you say if we got serious about this . . . us?” Louis just looks at Harry who laughs out quietly. “Why are you looking at me like this?”</p>
<p>“I just . . . I don’t know.”</p>
<p>“I would like to be your boyfriend, if you want me to.”</p>
<p>“Like . . . in a relationship?”</p>
<p>“Yes. A proper relationship.”</p>
<p>“Do you really mean it?”</p>
<p>“I really mean it, Lou. Do you want to be my boyfriend?”</p>
<p>Louis nods slowly as he puts his hand onto Harry’s neck and pulls him closer for a kiss. “Is this a yes?” Harry smiles against Louis’s lips and Louis can’t help but give Harry a huge, happy smile.</p>
<p>“I want to be with you more than anything, Harold,” Louis says quietly. “More than anything.”</p>
<p>“I love when you call me Harold. You haven’t done that in a while.”</p>
<p>“I might do it more often now,” Louis says as lays down on his bed, propping his head up onto the soft pillows.</p>
<p>Harry lays down onto Louis’ tummy and Louis rakes his hand through Harry’s dense curls. Harry closes his eyes for a moment, then opens them again. “I’m sorry that I said that relationship thing. To be honest, it felt as if we were in a relationship already but I was hurt by your words and I was angry that you ran away so I said it to hurt you because I was hurt. I’m really sorry.” Harry takes Louis’ hand and kisses his knuckles. “I really shouldn’t have said that.”</p>
<p>Louis presses a kiss onto Harry’s forehead. “It’s fine, I’m not pissed anymore and now it feels kind of funny that we both felt the same but hurt each other anyway, right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s kind of funny but also stupid and childish.”</p>
<p>“You make me feel so many emotions at once that I can barely sort them out. I’ve never experienced something close to this.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0075"><h2>75. WAVES</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>WARNING! THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS SEXUAL ACTIONS.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Harry looks at Louis with a mischievous look as he gets up and lets his hand travel down to the waistband of his boxers. “Do you mean feelings like these?”</p>
<p>“Well,” Louis answers, “this one is definitely one of those I was hoping to experience when I saw your sexy body wrapped in a white towel.”</p>
<p>Harry rises his eyebrows and grins. “You think I’m sexy?” He moves closer to Louis, looking him in the eyes.</p>
<p>“Harold,” Louis says, tracing his cheek and his lower lip with his index finger, “you are sex on legs.”</p>
<p>Harry’s eyes are still glued to Louis’ as he kisses him, slowly moving up until he sits on Louis’ thighs and cups his face with his hands. “Kissing you is so hot,” he breathes, “so hot.” Louis smiles against Harry’s mouth and continues kissing him, the movement of their lips and tongues in sync as if they were perfect for each other. Louis can feel himself getting hard under the covers. This isn’t a normal kiss, this is definitely a wild, I-want-more-kiss and Louis wants more with Harry. Right now. He gets up with Harry on his lap who moves a little bit so that Louis can push the covers away and flushes a little as Harry looks at his bulge that’s showing. “Nice,” Harry smiles as he takes Louis’ shirt off. He lets his hand trail down to Louis’ nipples as he rocks against Louis bulge. Louis wraps his arms around Harry’s naked torso to pull him closer, moving against him too as he kisses Harry again, equally hard as they did before. The kiss is wild and wet but oddly comfortably wet and Harry lets out a moan as Louis bites his lip. He keeps rocking against Louis, then stops as he kisses down Louis’ neck slowly, making Louis suck in his breath, biting his lower lip in pleasure. His neck is too sensitive and what Harry does drives him crazy. Harry trails down, kisses Louis’ collarbone, his chest, his nipples and moves down to the waistband of his boxers, touching Louis through the fabric.</p>
<p>“Fuck,” Louis breathes as Harry’s grip becomes firm and he’s about to pull Louis’ boxers down. Louis can’t wait to feel Harry on him, his hands, his lips, whatever. He had been imagining this since he had seen him in that white towel, secretly, of course. Harry looks up and gives Louis a mischievous smile as he’s pumping him. His look is so appealing and his touch feels so good what makes Louis moan as he tilts his head back. Just in that second, he feels Harry’s tongue on his tip, swirling around and taking him into his mouth. The warmth and the wetness are a sinful combination that make Louis squirm and he wishes he could savour this feeling forever. He loves how Harry doesn’t ignore his balls, how he flicks his tongue over them, how he takes them into his mouth and sucks as he lets his hand move over his dick, applying more pressure on his frenulum before he takes him into his mouth again. The sensation of everything is too much for Louis and he can feel that he’ll come soon. “Fuck you, Harold,” he says with gritted teeth, trying not to come now because he’s not sure if Harry would like him to come in his mouth. “Can I . . . fuck . . . can I-,” Louis stutters but Harry interrupts him, pumping Louis firm and fast.</p>
<p>“You can come in my mouth,” he says with his low voice, then lowers back down, watching Louis squirm underneath. When his legs start trembling, Louis comes down Harry’s throat in hot spurts that are so intense that his whole body feels like he’s on fire that is slowly reaching every inch of it. Louis’ moans are loud, he can’t control himself anymore. The pleasure he feels is sensational, pulsing in his dick, his pelvis, his lower body region. “Fuck you,” he repeats, “oh GOD!” Louis pushes his hips forward as Harry has already pulled him out of his mouth, only pumping him gently through his high. “Oh, my fucking god,” Louis whines, feeling his heart beating fast and his breath is still ragged. He covers his face, breathing quickly and loud, enjoying his post orgasm phase that is still doing things to him. Fuck, this was good. Harry was so good, he’s the king. “Thank you,” he says but Harry doesn’t respond. He looks at Louis, his eyes staring into his as if he wanted to communicate through them. Louis looks at his bulge in his plain black briefs and gulps at the sigh. He has just come, no way he could be aroused now but he is, he fucking is. Harry looks delicate, he looks like a Greek God with his red face, the spurts of come on his lips and his messy, curly hair that’s all over the place.</p>
<p>Harry gets onto his knees in front of Louis, facing him as he stares into his eyes. “Look at me,” he demands. When Louis does so, he takes his dick into his right hand and pumps himself slowly, already hard. Louis has never watched someone getting off in front of him that he just stays where he is without moving and stares at Harry’s dick that’s thick as he likes them to be. Perfect. Harry looks at his dick, moving his hand up and down his shaft for a while, then he takes his hand away and holds it close to Louis’ mouth. “Spit,” he says and Louis obeys. He would do anything to see Harry getting himself off, he looks so fucking hot with his tattoos, his toned body and this wonder of a dick. “Did you like what I did to you?” he asks, pumping himself faster.</p>
<p>“I loved it, you were perfect,” Louis answers. “And you look so fucking sexy right now.” Harry moans as he moves his hand back and forth, back and forth, his gland already red and wet. Louis can’t help but stare. This is amazing and new to him so that he wants to watch this show forever. Louis gets up a little bit to pull Harry close for a needy kiss and it gets hot and wet and sloppy so fast that Louis could literally come from this and listening to Harry wanking himself in front of him.</p>
<p>“Fuck,” Harry moans as he kisses Louis sloppily, clearly close to his orgasm and absolutely not able to concentrate on anything else.</p>
<p>“Come for me, Harold,” Louis says into his mouth. He moves his lips to Harry’s jaw where he kisses him up to his ears. “Come for me,” he whispers, then licks Harry’s ear shell and bites it a little bit what makes Harry moan again as his movements get faster. Louis kisses down Harry’s neck and pulls back, enjoying the show. Harry has closed his eyes by now. His breathing has become louder and faster and it doesn’t take long until he comes all over Louis’ chest. Louis watches him, watches his arousal and his orgasm doing something to his body as Harry lays down on his back, his chest going up and down fast.</p>
<p>“Wow,” Harry breathes as he looks at Louis, a smile on his face. “I’ve never done this in front of anyone and fuck – it was so hot watching you watching me.”</p>
<p>Louis rolls over to give Harry a quick kiss. “You were amazing, thank you.”</p>
<p>“It was a pleasure. I love giving head. Should we have a shower together now?”</p>
<p>“We can do that. I love this shit but it’s not nice when it dries.”</p>
<p>“I agree.”</p>
<p>In the shower, Harry insists of cleaning Louis’ body with his natural sponge he carries with him and Louis doesn’t have nothing against it. It’s not sexual at all, just intimate and nice, like a full body massage. The texture of the sponge makes it really pleasant because they are olive seeds in it, as Harry tells him. Then Louis cleans Harry’s body too, rubbing the sponge over his tanned skin. “You’re so beautiful,” Louis says as he gets up and stands right in front of Harry. He’s some inches taller than him and Louis loves that. Harry cups Louis’ face with his hands and kisses him softly while the warm water is hitting Harry’s back.</p>
<p>“You are too, Lou,” Harry says and kisses Louis again. “You really are. By the way, what I wanted to ask . . . are your nipples sensitive?”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head. “No, not really.” He smiles at Harry. “Why are you asking this now?”</p>
<p>“Because mine are and . . . yeah.” He flushes a little.</p>
<p>Louis giggles as he puts his hands onto Harry’s hips, travels up his wet body until his fingers reach Harry’s nipples. “Do you . . . like this?” Louis asks, gently letting his fingers brush the buds. Harry bites his lip and sucks in a breath as Louis touches him there. “Oh wow . . . that much?” he asks and pinches them slightly.</p>
<p>Harry just nods but pulls back. “Don’t because I’ll get horny again.”</p>
<p>Louis chuckles. “Okay, okay but I’ll do that another time for sure.”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a kiss. “I want you to.” He grabs one of the big towels and hands it to Louis before he uses his.</p>
<p>In bed, Harry nuzzles close to Louis and Louis wraps his arms around him. As they lay like this, Louis sighs and Harry looks up. “What’s wrong?”</p>
<p>“Nothing, I just can’t believe we’re officially together now . . . after everything.”</p>
<p>“I’m so happy about it, really. You’re the only one I want to be with.”</p>
<p>Louis kisses Harry’s temple. “You’re also the only one I want to be with and . . . I was so confused about everything because you turned my life upside down.”</p>
<p>“You did too. I’ve never met someone like you. You’re sweet, you can be feisty, loud, stubborn, you’re always ready for a joke and you’re emotional. I love you, Lou.” Louis answers with a kiss that feels soft, warm but also kind of sexy.</p>
<p>“I’m tired,” Louis yawns, tomorrow we have to get up around eight if we want to have breakfast before the stunts.</p>
<p>“You’re right, I’m tired too. The hot shower relaxed me, also the little massage.”</p>
<p>“Thank god I didn’t continue touching you,” Louis smiles against Harry’s hair.</p>
<p>Harry swats Louis chest and chuckles. “Behave now.”</p>
<p>Louis chuckles again. “I will. Good night, Harold. I’ll do you the favour another time, then.”</p>
<p>“Good night, Lou.”</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0076"><h2>76. SKIING</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Did you sleep well?” Louis asks Harry after the alarm has woken them up. To his surprise, he’s not tired at all.</p>
<p>Harry stretches himself and yawns. “I did but when I look out of the window, then I want to stay in here. It must be freezing outside.”</p>
<p>“Uh, I love the cold. Can’t wait to get on the slope!”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a small smile. His curls are messy, his eyes a little puffy and his skin is glowing. “I’d rather stay in bed with you all day.”</p>
<p>“We can do that tomorrow, at least until the afternoon. Should we have breakfast? I’m hungry.”</p>
<p>Harry giggles. “You’re always hungry, aren’t you?”</p>
<p>“Pretty much. I’ll be quick in the bathroom.” Louis gets out of bed while Harry turns around again. “Hey Harold, don’t you dare falling asleep!” Harry frowns as he turns around to face Louis. “That’s crazy – now I’m the one who gets up earlier than you. What happened to your morning fitness programme?”</p>
<p>“It’s cancelled for today,” Harry laughs. “Skiing should be enough and my bed is too warm.”</p>
<p>Louis rubs his arms because of the cold. “You might be right. Uh, it’s freezing!”</p>
<p> “Hurry up, I’m hungry too,” Harry laughs.</p>
<p>Louis just giggles as he grabs his boxers. In the shower, pictures of the day before cross his mind that arouse him to a certain extend. He quickly lets cold water pour down his body to get those thoughts and his boner out of his mind. Rob and Ben join Harry and Louis for breakfast later and after that they talk about how and when they’ve planned to be around Harry and Louis for the next two days.</p>
<p>“Skiing is nice,” Louis tells Harry after they have put on their thick skiing clothes and are about to leave the hotel.</p>
<p>“I do too. Will you go on holidays with your friends as you’ve planned to? I remember you were pretty pissed that you couldn’t but now that Mr. Sia has shortened the stunting?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah. At least I can spend three days with them but I’m not pissed anymore. I like being with you so I don’t mind anymore.”</p>
<p>“I’m glad that the whole atmosphere has shifted.”</p>
<p>“Me too. It was exhausting to be in a bad mood almost every day.”</p>
<p>“Did you want to be pissed I mean . . . were you pissed because you thought you had to be?” Harry lets out a small chuckle. “That sounded silly. Do you understand what I mean?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah, kind of. No, I was really pissed. Do you think I was faking it?”</p>
<p>“No, I was just asking. Oh look, there’s the lift and . . . it’s without cabins!”</p>
<p>“That’s cool, I like that too. Do you think we’ll see the paps?”</p>
<p>“I don’t think so. They have professional object lenses and remember, Mr. Sia wants good pictures. If people spotted us right away it wouldn’t be possible for them to take the wanted pictures.”</p>
<p>“I don’t mind anyways.” Louis chuckles. “Instead of thinking about them we should just enjoy our time.”</p>
<p>Harry pats Louis’ shoulder. “Those words coming out of your mouth,” Harry smiles. “But yes, you’re right. Do you have the tickets?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, they’re here. Let’s go!”</p>
<p>Louis and Harry queue for the lift and after about fifteen minutes, they’re already seated. The view is breath taking. The high mountains around are covered in snow. The dense conifer forests are hidden under a thick layer and below, people are passing on their skis and snowboards. It’s so quiet up there, almost calming although the hillside is packed with people. Louis enjoys the cold air hitting his face as they’re moving further up the slope. Most of all, he’s happy to share this moment with Harry who is also amazed by the surroundings. Having reached the summit, Harry and Louis rush down the hill for about three hours, sometimes on their own, sometimes they compete in a race. The thought that this actually is supposed to be a stunt doesn’t cross Louis’ mind often. It even feels strange for him that it is a stunt since no paparazzi can be seen and he’s just having a great time. On the slope, nobody recognizes them which is definitely owed to the skiing gear that hide their faces and Harry’s striking tattoos perfectly.</p>
<p>After a while, Louis feels cold. He wants to go and have a hot shower, and Harry is also freezing. Plus, both of them are hungry and the next stunt is about to start. After showering, they put on some nice clothes and check their stunt list for the restaurant they have to go to.  Louis informs Sophie about them being ready to leave so that she can give Ben, Rob and the paparazzi instructions.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0077"><h2>77. FAN ENCOUNTERS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“This is so weird,” Louis says as he puts his phone down and slips into his boots.</p>
<p>“What exactly?”</p>
<p>“That I everything needs to be planned, that Sophie will tell the paps where to go and stuff. Imagine we wouldn’t be hungry now.”</p>
<p>Harry laughs. “You not being hungry after a few hours without food wouldn’t ever happen, would it? Whoever came up with today’s plan must know you quite well.”</p>
<p>Louis pouts playfully. “That’s unfair. You also love food.”</p>
<p>“I do,” Harry chuckles quietly, “and to be honest I’m also really hungry now. I’ve checked the internet and the place we’re going to is quite a good one. Their food and service ratings are excellent.”</p>
<p>“Sounds good. I hope it’s not too posh.” Louis grabs his thick jacket and wraps a scarf around his head. “Come on, let’s go.” Harry puts his beanie onto his head and lets some curls stick out of it. “You look damn cute, Harold,” Louis says as he’s looking at Harry and Harry gives him a cute smile.</p>
<p>“Thank you. My ex-boyfriend would have killed me for that comment. He never called me cute and I never did because he hated that.”  Harry walks out into the hallway. Louis follows and shuts the door behind him.</p>
<p>“But you do look cute. Well, cute and sexy.”</p>
<p>“Oh, thanks,” Harry smiles. “You’re cute too.”</p>
<p>“Oh please,” Louis laughs and swats Harry’s arm, “you don’t have to say that just because I did.”</p>
<p>“I didn’t say that because of that. I mean it.” Harry walks out of the front door, closing the zipper of his jacket completely.</p>
<p>“Well . . . thank you.” Louis stops walking and looks at google maps. He looks around and figures where they need to go. “The restaurant is at the end of the village, close to where we went skiing this morning.”</p>
<p>“Alright, let’s go then. I’m so curious about the place.”</p>
<p>They walk down the main street that’s quite busy by now. Many shops, hotels and restaurants are located in this area. As Harry and Louis stroll down the street, they look at the nicely decorated shop windows and the typical Austrian houses that look charming and pretty. Suddenly, Louis notices some teenage girls on the right side of the pavement. It seems like they have noticed Louis and Harry or maybe just one of them because they giggle and point at them constantly. A few meters in front of Louis, a young woman stops walking and pulls her friend’s jacket. The girls start taking pictures out of the blue from the other side of the street and Louis’ eyes meet theirs. It’s clear that they have been spotted. Louis can’t just continue walking and ignore them so he waves at them shortly and gives them a smile. The girls follow Harry and Louis down the street. At the same time, they stop in front of the woman who greets Louis and asks him for a picture. The other people around stare at the scene as they’re walking by. They’ve attracted attention by now and there’s no turning back. After some small talk with the woman, Harry and Louis continue their way down the street. “They know you well,” Harry says. It’s cold and Louis feels a little uncomfortable being the centre of attention here in the street.</p>
<p>“Well, they know you too.”</p>
<p>Harry wipes his nose that’s red from the cold already. It really makes him look even cuter, Louis thinks. “They always talk to you first.”</p>
<p>Louis chuckles. “That’s just because I’m not as intimidating as you, Harold.”</p>
<p>“What?” Harry yells out, frowning. “Intimidating? I’m no way intimidating!” He’s amused, yet a little bit outraged.</p>
<p>“You are, but in a good way.”</p>
<p>“That hurt me,” Harry says jokingly, “how do you dare calling me intimidating?”</p>
<p>“Ask your fans why,” Louis chuckles. “Look! There they are.” The girls from the other side of the street are about to cross the street in an unquestionable dangerous way since they’re hurrying. They’re almost running but the street is wet from the snow and the cars clearly have difficulties to stop. A loud, deep honk lets Louis startle as he stares at the scenario in the street like it was a movie. The honk lets him come back to reality again.</p>
<p>“They’re risking quite a lot,” Harry says and shakes his head as he and Louis keep walking. “Should we stop?”</p>
<p>“No, they’ll reach us anyway.”</p>
<p>Louis is right. When they’re close, Harry and Louis stop walking. Three of them don’t say anything, they just hide their faces a little and giggle, looking at Harry and Louis as if they were paintings in a museum. They start taking pictures when Harry turns toward them. “Hey girls, I’m Harry,” Harry introduces himself. “You should be careful in the streets.”</p>
<p>“Sorry,” one of the girls says quietly, “I just . . . I-,” she stammers, her face flushing in a light crimson colour.</p>
<p>Harry touches her shoulder. “It’s okay, just don’t do it ever again. That was a risk and I was scared for a moment that something might happen.” The girl nods. Then she gives Harry a surprising hug and Louis hugs each of the girls quickly, too and asks them how they are doing.</p>
<p>“Can we take a pic?” another girl asks, holding her phone up with trembling hands.</p>
<p>“Yeah, let’s have everyone in the picture.” Louis stands in between the girls, getting ready for a photo.</p>
<p>Two of them come close to him but the girl who asked doesn’t. “Can’t we take one for each of us?”</p>
<p>“Oh love, we don’t have much time. Let’s do it quickly,” Louis says and the girl nods as she comes closer to the group. Harry takes the girl’s phone and takes the picture. The girl who is closest to Harry trembles and hasn’t said a word until now so Harry looks at her and gives her a smile. She looks away.</p>
<p>“You’re trembling, are you okay?” Harry asks.</p>
<p>One of her friends puts her hand onto her waist. “She’s just nervous because of you well, I am too. I would have never thought that I might meet you randomly . . . here in the streets. Amy thinks you’re intimidating, well, at least a little.”</p>
<p>Louis lets out a laugh. “See?”</p>
<p>Harry gives the girl and Louis a baffled, shocked look. “Why?”</p>
<p>The girl next to Harry has tears in her eyes. “Because . . . because I love you,” she says quietly. “You are so beautiful, the most beautiful human being, that’s why. You’re perfect.”</p>
<p>Harry gives the girl a hug. “I’m not perfect but . . . well, thank you,” he says as he has his arms wrapped around her. Then he pulls away. “Have a nice stay here, okay?” The girls nod and say thank you. The one who hugged Harry is still crying silently, wiping her face with a tissue.</p>
<p>“We should go now,” Louis says. “Bye!” Louis waves at them and then they continue their way. “I told you so,” Louis says with a smirk. He looks around to check if the girls are following but they aren’t.</p>
<p>“But why? I’m just a normal person and I’m not perfect. Why do people think that?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, because you seem so.”</p>
<p>“I seem so? That’s weird. They don’t know me.”</p>
<p>Louis shrugs. “I don’t know . . . can we discuss that later? We should walk a little faster because I’m sure the pictures and our location will be online in a few and I’d like to arrive at the restaurant soon.”</p>
<p>“Okay.”</p>
<p>They hurry down the streets, not looking left or right. Although some people are still taking pictures, Louis doesn’t react to them. It’s the easiest way to cope and Louis has learned this throughout his journey with One Direction. Sometimes people just want to take a picture, not directly talk to you and it’s fine for him. Meeting fans is a huge part of his job and it’s one of the nice parts most of the time but sometimes it can also get uncomfortable, depending on the situation.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0078"><h2>78. ERIK</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The restaurant isn’t directly posh but the prices are quite steep. It’s a typical, Austrian restaurant with wooden furniture and a cosy, tasteful atmosphere. When they step in, a waiter immediately comes over to greet them. “Mr. Tomlinson, Mr. Styles,” he says, reaching out his hand toward his guests, slightly nodding when he says their names.<br/>“Welcome to our restaurant! I’m Erik and I’ll be your waiter for today. Please follow me upstairs.” He’s dressed in black suit trousers, a white shirt and patent-leather shoes that seem brand-new. His short, light brown hair is perfectly styled, his brown eyes are sparkling. He’s probably in his early twenties. The young man guides Harry and Louis to a table on second floor that holds less tables but looks cosier than the room downstairs because of the low height of the room and the prominent dark, wooden beams that are part of the architecture in Austria everywhere. The beams are tastefully decorated with flowers, cowbells and other decorative items and they don’t just look good, they separate the tables and create an intimate atmosphere for every little booth. Erik leads Harry and Louis toward the huge window that is stretched over almost the whole wall. It offers a wonderful view over the village and the snowy mountains. “Here we are,” he says. “This is one of our most beautiful places,” he says proudly, his Austrian accent showing. He pulls the chairs back a little and gestures to Harry and Louis to sit down.</p>
<p>“Thank you very much,” Harry says and Louis gives Erik a smile.</p>
<p>“You’re welcome,” Erik nods. “Here is the menu for you. No matter what you choose, it will always be excellent.” Erik gives them a smile, then lights the little candle on the table. “I’ll be back in a few minutes. If you need help with choosing the dishes, you can always ask me.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” Louis says. “We’ll have a look first.”</p>
<p>“As you wish.” Then Erik walks away and leaves Harry and Louis alone.</p>
<p>“It smelled so good downstairs,” Louis says as he opens the menu. “I could order everything right now.”</p>
<p>“It smelled heavenly, yes. I’ve been to Austria once and everything I ate was delicious.” Harry reads the menu and smiles. “I like that the menu is clear and we don’t have to choose something from a never-ending list of dishes.”</p>
<p>“I like that too, yeah. What do you think, should we share a starter? It might be a lot for me alone because I also want a dessert for sure.”</p>
<p>“Which one would you like to order?”</p>
<p>“The sausages and cheese plate. It’s like a variety of typical sausages and cheese and they’re served with homemade bread. I’d love to try them.”</p>
<p>“Let me see,” Harry says. “Ah, here. Hm . . . four kinds of regional sausages and cheese, served with homemade bread. Well, it sounds yummy. I’ve already tried Austrian sausages and cheese before and I loved them but they’re different in every region so yeah, we could order that. I also think one is a lot for one person only.”</p>
<p>“That’s really cool, thanks.”</p>
<p>“You don’t have to thank me for this, Lou. I like sharing with you.”</p>
<p>Louis looks up and gives Harry a smile, then they both look at their menus again. When Erik comes back, he takes their order and brings them the drinks. Louis orders roast pork with fries and Harry fried beef and onions in gravy with bread dumplings and a small salad. As dessert, Louis chooses the apple strudel and Harry the Sacher cake. As they’re waiting, they take in the magnificent view. “Doesn’t it look amazing here? People having fun, the mountains, the snow-covered trees,” Louis says as he props his head up on his arm.</p>
<p>“And the white colour makes everything look so peaceful. The whole view here looks like a painting.”</p>
<p>“Absolutely.”</p>
<p>“Do you think they chose this place because of the view or because the paps could possibly take better pictures of us?”</p>
<p>Louis laughs. “Probably because of business reasons so I’d go with your second idea but I really like it.”</p>
<p>“I do, too,” Harry says and takes a sip of his water. “I’ve tried to spot them but I can’t see anyone. Do you think they’re around?”</p>
<p>“One hundred percent. Sia wouldn’t arrange this without a reason, ever. He’s paying for this, well, his company does. He wouldn’t waste one penny, I’m sure.”</p>
<p>“Well, at least he chose a good place.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Louis half-laughs, “at least. I would be quite pissed if he had sent us to a shitty one.”</p>
<p>Harry chuckles. “The only thing we need is our food and then we’ll be fine, right?”</p>
<p>“Right. What would you like to do later?”</p>
<p>“I usually get tired after eating so I wouldn’t mind laying down a little bit. If you want, we can take a walk in the evening before dinner.”</p>
<p>“That sounds like a plan.” As Louis turns his head, he sees Erik walking up the stairs, balancing a huge plate. “Oh . . . look, our food is on the way!” he says happily. As excepted, everything tastes delicious. Soon, Erik also serves the main dishes that look equally good and tasty. After the desserts, Louis leans back in his chair, his hands put onto his tummy. “Oh my god, I’m so full now,” he moans quietly. “I want to lay down right here and sleep.” He blows air through his lips and suddenly hiccups.</p>
<p>“You look so wasted,” Harry laughs, shaking his head. “Like someone sucked out the energy off your body.”</p>
<p>Louis hiccups again. “I . . . I also feel like it. I need to . . . lay down now.”</p>
<p>“The bill is paid, right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, they’ll send them the bill to Sia directly. We can go now,” Louis says and gets up.</p>
<p>“Wait, wait. I want to give Erik a tip. He was really nice and the service was great.”</p>
<p>“Okay but hurry up.”</p>
<p>“Heyyyyy,” Harry frowns, “don’t be rude. He deserves a good tip.”</p>
<p>“I hope he doesn’t deserve a date.”</p>
<p>“You’re unbelievable, really,” Harry says playfully, chuckling. “Don’t be jealous.” Louis just rolls his eyes but gives Harry a small smile. He was just joking, well, half-joking and Harry’s reaction was kind of cute.</p>
<p>On their way to the hotel, Harry and Louis are stopped by fans three times and although Louis isn’t really in the mood, he stays polite and takes pictures with them. “Finally,” Louis moans as they enter their room and he can pull off his winter clothes. “I just wanted to arrive.”</p>
<p>“They were quite persistent, your fans, weren’t they?”</p>
<p>“Harold . . . when will you accept that they’re also your fans?”</p>
<p>Harry shrugs as he pulls his beanie off and snowflakes tickle off on the floor. “It’s surreal for me, that’s all.”</p>
<p>Louis walks closer to Harry, wraps his arms around his waist and leans in for a kiss. “They love you, just like me but the difference is that they’ll never get what I have.”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a smile, then kisses Louis’ temple. “That’s sweet.” He gives Louis a soft look. Then he pulls away they both lay down on their beds, not talking much, slowly drifting to sleep.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0079"><h2>79. GETTING READY</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>After the stunts have officially ended, Louis feels some kind of new gained freedom concerning his relationship with Harry and the holiday with his friends from back home. Even during that period of time, the fans didn’t stop speculating. After the winter holiday stunts in Austria, the fan’s interest had come to another high what was probably caused by the pictures the paparazzi had taken. They were ambiguous as usual what only inflamed the speculations about Harry and Louis being in a relationship. Especially Harry gained thousands of new followers on Twitter during the last months and also Louis’ numbers rose.</p>
<p>“Louis, could you please come over?” Harry’s stylist Josephine asks Louis who is sitting on the bay window of the hotel room. Louis looks over to her and nods. Josephine gives Louis a smile as she pulls the chair back for him. “You look gorgeous already but a little bit of make-up will make you glow.”</p>
<p>“Thank you,” he says. “I know you wouldn’t turn me into a girl so it’s fine.”</p>
<p>“Of course not. Does Harry look like a girl?”</p>
<p>“No and that’s the only reason I trust you.”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis thumbs up and Josephine chuckles. “Good. Then let’s make perfection out of you.” She starts applying make-up on Louis’ face professionally. It doesn’t take long until Louis is ready.</p>
<p>“I need to talk to you,” Louis tells Harry afterward.</p>
<p>“You sound so serious. What’s bothering you?”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head. “No, no . . . not here.” He takes Harry’s hand and leads him into the bathroom – the only place where they can be on their own right now. Harry sits down on the edge of the bath tub and pulls Louis close by his hands so that he stands between his legs. “I’m so fucking nervous because of this.”</p>
<p>“Is it because of the show?” Harry asks. “If you don’t feel comfortable, you don’t have to come.”</p>
<p>“No, it’s not that. I want to accompany you there it’s just . . . my management doesn’t know and walking the red carpet with you is something official that they should know before, I . . . I just don’t know what the consequences will be. Sia hadn’t planned us really becoming a couple and it’s written in my contract that I can’t have a partner before informing my management.”</p>
<p>Harry gently presses a kiss onto Louis’ lips. “I’m so proud that you want to accompany me and you know, I want everyone to know you belong to me.”</p>
<p>Louis flushes a little but smiles. “Yeah?” Harry nods in silence. “I want that too Harry, more than anything but still, I’m nervous.”</p>
<p>“Do you think they might sue you or something?”</p>
<p>Louis shrugs. “Maybe. I’m not sure. I wouldn’t be surprised, to be honest.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I see. Well then, as I’ve said before . . . you don’t have to come.”</p>
<p>Louis shakes his head. “No, I want to. I want to show Sia that this came out of his shitty idea which will probably annoy him to a certain extend. I’m just thinking what the consequences might be and . . . yeah, I’m nervous because of you, that something might go wrong on the red carpet and the press, too.”</p>
<p>“I can understand.”</p>
<p>Louis looks down, tracing Harry’s hands with his thumbs. “But I want to come.”</p>
<p>Harry kisses Louis’ knuckles. “That’s great. I mean, look how gorgeous you are. The red carpet will be rolled out only for you! You’ve done this with your band before, haven’t you? You’ll do great, I know that.”</p>
<p>“Yeah I have done this before but not . . . with someone like you.”</p>
<p>“Louis,” Harry threatens playfully.</p>
<p>“No!” Louis smiles and hits Harry’s shoulders, “No, no! I don’t mean it like that, I mean it’s . . . this isn’t an award show where I’ll present my songs that I’m completely fine with, this is . . . you. You mean so much to me and it’s quite . . . personal.” Louis blows air through his lips. “This sounds stupid, I don’t know how to express myself.”</p>
<p>“Lou, there’s nothing you should be afraid of. You’ll do great!”</p>
<p>“Thank you so much.”</p>
<p>Harry takes Louis’ hands in his. “It will be only you and me and it will be official this time. The thought of this makes me feel so good. It will be a surprise for everyone, especially for your fans.” Harry chuckles. “Well, at least for those who don’t want to marry you.”</p>
<p>“Stop making fun of me!”</p>
<p>Harry smiles. “I’m not making fun of you. What I wanted to say is I don’t care about what people think.”</p>
<p>Louis gives Harry a smile. “It will also be a surprise for your fans, Harold.”</p>
<p>Harry nudges Louis playfully. “Idiot.”</p>
<p>“I probably shouldn’t mind about consequences.”</p>
<p>“In case if you get in trouble, I’ll help you out, I promise,” Harry says. “The only thing I want you to know is that I don’t want to force you into this. Really Lou, if you feel uncomfortable or if you’re afraid of what might happen you could skip the red carpet walk and wait for me backstage-,”</p>
<p>Louis silences Harry by kissing him. “Is this enough as an answer?”</p>
<p>“No,” Harry smiles, “I’m not convinced yet.” He brushes his lips against Louis’ who giggles as he leans in to kiss Harry again, longer this time. The kiss is soft and hot at the same time what makes Louis’ heart leap and his stomach flutter. “It’s better now,” Harry says against Louis’ mouth.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0080"><h2>80. DÉJA-VU</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>In the car, Louis feels as if he was on his way to a very important exam and the nervousness is so bad that he feels like throwing up. He couldn’t describe his emotions, ever. It’s such a mess. Before they get out of the car, Louis isn’t sure if he should hold Harry’s hand or not. When Harry takes it into his, something inside of him makes him calm down for the first time in hours. Harry’s touch is soothing and Louis feels a little bit safer. “Don’t be afraid,” Harry whispers into Louis’ ear. “Everything will be fine.”</p>
<p>Louis gulps. “Okay,” he says, squeezing Harry’s hand. In that moment the door is being opened and Harry and Louis get ready to walk the red carpet. The waiting is the worst and Louis’ heart is about to jump out of his chest. He feels like throwing up again as he squeezes Harry’s hand like crazy. Harry just gives him a small smile and then it’s about time to walk out onto the red carpet.</p>
<p>As soon as they’re visible for the journalists and paparazzi, the flashes of the cameras almost blind Louis. He can’t see any faces, just silhouettes and cameras. The paparazzi are shouting their names all the time and when they want to leave, the shouting and yelling increases so that Louis looks at Harry, Harry nods and they walk back to pose in front of the cameras again. In that moment, all the pressure and nervousness has disappeared magically. Happiness and pride fill Louis’ heart. After the red-carpet walk, the waiting journalists swamp Harry and Louis with questions.</p>
<p>“Mission accomplished!” Harry says happily when they’re about to walk into a tastefully decorated hall. High tables are put up everywhere that are wrapped in white tablecloth. On each table someone has draped living white roses and beautiful little candles. The scenery reminds Louis of the day when he met Harry for the first time.</p>
<p>“I was so nervous when they started asking me questions.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure you did well. I couldn’t understand what you were saying because of the noise.”</p>
<p>Louis gives Harry a small smile. “I hope so.”</p>
<p>“What would you like to drink, Lou?” Harry asks, pulling Louis over to the bar.</p>
<p>“I need alcohol to calm my nerves. What about red wine?”</p>
<p>“That sounds good. I’ll have that too.” Harry walks over to the bar, orders the wine and puts the two glasses onto a table nearby. They both sip their wine in silence first, taking in the scenery that’s held in pink and white lights.</p>
<p>“That reminds me of the horrible day we met,” Louis says after a while. “I almost feel catapulted back to this day.”</p>
<p>“We would have never without this day, actually. I don’t think it was that horrible. It was just a crazy day that lead us to what we are now.”</p>
<p>“Let’s not talk about that day, please. Don’t you have to be backstage for your show?”</p>
<p>“No, it’s fine. I still have some time left. That’s why I wanted to come early . . . you know. I wanted to spend some more time here with you. The show will start in about two hours, don’t worry.”</p>
<p>“Cool.” Louis sways his glass. “It’s the first time I’ll see you working.”</p>
<p>“You saw me working all the time,” Harry smirks and earns a swat of Louis.</p>
<p>“Not that kind of work, idiot.”</p>
<p>Harry chuckles. “I know.” Harry sighs. “You should know I’m a little bit nervous.”</p>
<p>“Why?”</p>
<p>“Because you’re here. I want to do it well for you.”</p>
<p>“You’ll be the best, I’m sure. Although I’m not sure about your outfit.”</p>
<p>Harry winks. “I won’t tell you what my outfit looks like but I’m sure you’ll like it.”</p>
<p>“I can’t trust you with this.”</p>
<p>“You will see.”</p>
<p>“I need to go to the bathroom. Don’t go anywhere, okay?”</p>
<p>“I won’t,” Harry promises as Louis walks away. It takes Louis quite a while to get to there. When he walks back toward their table, he sees a man and a woman standing there with Harry. They seem to be engaged in a lively conversation since nobody of them notices Louis coming closer. When he’s almost there, he stumbles over his own feet so that he loses his balance and bumps into the man who spills his wine onto the woman’s light blue dress. “Fuck!” Louis swears, experiencing some kind of déjà-vu as the woman shrieks hysterically and the man excuses himself to her, sending a glare toward Louis. “I’m sorry.”</p>
<p>“Jesus Christ, can’t you pay attention? Look, what you’ve done!” the man shouts at Louis who has just gained balance again. “That’s red wine, the dress is ruined! It’s borrowed and for sure it costs more than your suit!” The man’s face has turned red in comparison to the woman’s that’s pale like ivory.</p>
<p>“Can you just stop yelling at me? I’ve apologized already and it’s just blue fabric! Nobody is hurt!”</p>
<p>“Just fabric?” the woman yells, “this is worth thousands!” She points at the huge, read strain. “I bet you couldn’t even pay the buttons of it!” Her high-pitched voice rings in Louis’ ears and he just wants her to shut up.</p>
<p>“Now go, you don’t need to stay here,” the man says, “you can’t help anyways.”</p>
<p>“He won’t go anywhere,” Harry fires back sharply.</p>
<p>“He’s doesn’t belong here, look what he did.”</p>
<p>The woman gives Louis a disparaging look. “Exactly. We don’t want to be around people like him.”</p>
<p>Louis just rolls his eyes. “I also don’t want to be around people like you who think material and money are more worth than anything else.”</p>
<p>The woman gives Louis a sour look. “You don’t say. I wonder how you got inside here.”</p>
<p>“With me,” Harry says slowly. He puts an arm around Louis’ waist and pulls him closer to his body. “He’s my boyfriend.” Harry leans in and gives Louis a soft kiss in front of the couple. Louis feels proud that Harry isn’t afraid to show everyone they’re a together, especially in front of those unsympathetic people. The man and the woman only stare at Harry and Louis as if they were ghosts.</p>
<p>“How much?” Louis asks, keeping his face straight as he looks at the woman.</p>
<p>“I . . . I don’t-,”</p>
<p>“How much,” Louis repeats in a demanding tone.</p>
<p>“Thirty-thousand but I don’t . . . I mean I don’t think I have to pay the full pri-,”</p>
<p>Louis takes out his wallet and holds his black American Express card in front of the woman’s face. He has never done that before because he really isn’t a fan of showing off but right now, he needs to beat those snobs with their own weapons. The woman flushes. “Do you need more proof that I could?” Louis asks sarcastically, putting his card back into his wallet.</p>
<p>“No . . . I . . . I think I don’t need it.” The woman’s voice is low now, almost submissive. “Let’s go, darling,” she tells her husband and they leave.</p>
<p>When they’re gone, Louis lets out a breath he was holding. “Holy shit,” he sighs and shakes his head. “I despise people like them.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry for how they treated you.”</p>
<p>“Are they your friends?”</p>
<p>“No, they’re not. They’re famous in the model industry but I’ve known them for a while. They always behaved friendly and courteous toward me but obviously they just consicered my status in the business. Surprisingly, I’ve changed my mind about them.” Harry gives Louis a kiss. “You did so well, they don’t deserve your kindness anyway.”</p>
<p>“They deserve my bad ass side, I guess.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, they do. But as much as I’d like you to mess with them, I’m glad they’re gone. It’s kind of funny that they didn’t recognize you, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>“Well, at least they won’t inform the press about me since I’m not worth it in their eyes and insignificant too.” Louis gives Harry a smile. “And even if I was a nobody, with you . . . I’ll always be someone.”</p>
<p>“Uh, that sounds so poetic.”</p>
<p>Louis laughs out quietly. “No, not really. It was on my mind and I said it.”</p>
<p>“You’re pragmatic, I know.”</p>
<p>“I feel a little bit stupid because of what happened. I mean . . . the first time I was at a fashion show the stumbling happened and now again.” He takes a sip of his wine.</p>
<p>Harry puts his arm onto Louis’ shoulder. “Don’t worry about that. You won’t have to stunt with those idiots.”</p>
<p>“Stunting with one idiot was enough,” he says cheekily as he looks into Harry’s eyes. “Yes, you are the lovely idiot I’m talking about.”</p>
<p>“I get it, thank you for the compliment.” Suddenly, Harry’s phone rings. “Oh, it’s my alarm. I should get ready for the show. You know where your seat is, right?”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about me. Now hurry up, I want to see you in ugly clothes!”</p>
<p>Harry giggles and swats Louis’ arm playfully. “See you later!”</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0081"><h2>81. CLOSING THE SHOW</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s truly a magical moment when the lights go out and the runway is being illuminated. At the same time, the music starts playing. It’s a song Louis actually likes and he catches himself tapping his fingers onto his thigh. A slight nervous anticipation fills his body when the models walk by. The clothes are more decent this time. Of course, they’re not <em>normal </em>or anywhere close to what Louis’ opinion on normal clothes is, but the colours match and they don’t look too bad. Impatiently, Louis waits for Harry to appear but he doesn’t. How many models are usually booked for a show like this? He has at least seen thirty or forty of them and Harry hasn’t appeared yet. Maybe something went wrong? While Louis thinks about Harry, he suddenly feels starstruck. There he is. Louis’ chin drops as he stares at his boyfriend. He looks magnificent, beautiful, elegant . . . like an angel. His clothes are completely white, flattering his body. Some parts are almost transparent so that Louis can see Harry’s tattoos shining through the milky fabric. The shorts he’s wearing cling tightly to his thighs, his shirt or dress or whatever it is fits him so good but at the same time, it’s too big on him at some parts. Around his neck, he’s wearing a black collar that looks incredibly sexy on him. White and black in combination looks excellent on Harry, extremely good and appealing. It takes Louis time to process what he’s seeing and he wishes Harry would just stop next to him so that Louis could touch the fabric, touch him and kiss him.</p>
<p>“He’s stunning,” the older woman next to Louis says, leaning closer toward him since the music is too loud. Louis startles since he was lost in thought. “I believe Harry Styles will close the show, I’m sure of that. Look at him, just look at him.”</p>
<p>“Wait, you know him?” Louis asks astonished. He doesn’t look away from Harry for too long. His eyes are still glued to him, mostly to his tanned thighs. In the next second, he feels incredibly stupid. Of course, she knows him, he’s famous in this business but she obviously doesn’t know him. It seems like not everyone falls for fake online and tabloid stories.</p>
<p>The woman laughs. “Are you new to this business?” she asks in a friendly tone.</p>
<p>“Well, pretty much.” Every fibre in Louis’ body screams “tell her that he’s your boyfriend” but he decides not to.</p>
<p>“He’s the most popular male model right now. He’s worth millions and he’s booked by the best and most expensive labels in the world.”</p>
<p>“So, you said that he’s going to close the show. What does that mean?” That’s the part where Louis really doesn’t know what this is about. When Harry is out of sight, he looks at the woman next to him.</p>
<p>“The last model closes the show and the designers usually choose their favourite model for that. Closing a show is even more important than opening it and he’s the best, absolutely the best. It’s not only his way of walking the runway that fascinates everyone, it’s the whole package.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I also think he’s amazing.”</p>
<p>“I can’t wait for his next outfits. When he was new in the business, he applied for the agency I’m working for but my boss didn’t see his potential. He regrets it every day and he probably will regret this forever. Harry is an exceptional talent.” She nods as if she needed to prove her own words to herself, then she stops talking and concentrates on the models again who have apparently changed their outfits.</p>
<p>After three more clothes changes, all models walk down the runway together. When they’re gone, the designer walks onto the runway with Harry next to him. He waves and blows kisses into the audience, just as Harry does. The music changes and small, colourful pieces of metallic paper fall down onto the runway. The crowd cheers even louder when the designer takes Harry’s hand into his. The whole place goes nuts. People get up from their seats when the designer and Harry stop at the end of the runway and bow. The photographers take pictures like crazy. Then the designer let’s go of Harry and applauds toward him and Harry touches his heart with his right hand, then he gives the designer a quick hug. It’s a moving moment for Louis because it’s also Harry’s moment and he deserves this. Harry was chosen to close the show and he is Louis’ boyfriend. Yes, he really is Louis’ boyfriend. The guy Louis used to hate is the one he loves most now. What an ironic stroke of destiny that is, he thinks. Still, after about three minutes, the applause hasn’t faded, on the contrary.</p>
<p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0082"><h2>82. HONEST WORDS</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jeremy drives Harry and Louis Harry’s house directly after the show. Harry is full of adrenaline and he doesn’t stop talking about the show and what happened backstage, his colleagues and how he almost ripped his clothes because he put them on too quickly. When they’re in bed, Harry has calmed down.</p>
<p>“You were amazing, stunning. I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”</p>
<p>“Oh really? Thank you. Weren’t you bored?”</p>
<p>“I wasn’t bored at all. I was so excited to see you that I was kind of nervous all the time but in a positive way. The white outfit looked fucking awesome.”</p>
<p>“It was my favourite, too.”</p>
<p>Louis chuckles. “But you are my absolute favourite, Harold. I’m so glad that I can call you my boyfriend now.” Louis lets his fingers run through Harry’s curls, then he kisses his temple. “The woman next to me told me about you and it’s funny that I always forget how famous you really are.”</p>
<p>Harry takes Louis’ hand in his and kisses his knuckles, then nuzzles close to him. “I feel the same about you, Lou. Thousands of people come to see you in concert, they play your songs everywhere and so many people know the lyrics by heart and like the music. It seems like everyone knows you, too.”</p>
<p>Louis chuckles. “Not everyone, remember?”</p>
<p>“They don’t count,” Harry smiles. “But honestly, I mean . . . it doesn’t matter how much money you have or how famous you are. The only things that matter are friendships, love and family. I’m so glad that our paths crossed.”</p>
<p>“In the end it was good that I ruined Zayn’s suit, don’t you think?”</p>
<p>“Absolutely. And I loved how you ruined Susan’s dress, too. It was about time for them to leave anyways. They were so annoying talking about their new house in LA all the time and how huge their pool was and stuff. I was relieved when you silenced them.”</p>
<p>“Do a good deed every day, right?”</p>
<p>“Yeah.” Harry chuckles.</p>
<p>Then Louis gets serious. He gets up a little bit. “Harry . . . I wanted to thank you for showing them we belonged together. It meant a lot to me.”</p>
<p>“I loved showing them who I was with, Lou. And I’m sure everyone knows by now and I couldn’t be any prouder. I love you, Louis.” He leans in and gives Louis a kiss.</p>
<p>“I love you, Harry,” Louis says. “Very much.” He smiles and pushes a streak out of Harry’s face.</p>
<p>“Harry?” Harry frowns playfully.</p>
<p>“Harold.”</p>
<p>“Better. Much better.”</p>
<p>Louis gives Harry a smile. “You know, I thought about informing Sia about us a few days ago but then I thought it would be more annoying for him to get informed by the media instead. I think we really destroyed his evil plan. Consequences or not.”</p>
<p>“Evil plan?”</p>
<p>“To break me, to humiliate me and to make me feel uncomfortable. Instead of this you put me together, you showed me that you cared and you made me feel comfortable. You basically turned everything negative into something positive and I want to thank you for that.”</p>
<p>“I’m not aware of the fact that I had such an impact on you but if that’s the truth, I’m more than happy and thankful.”</p>
<p>Louis wraps his arms around Harry and closes his eyes. “I feel like I made it and I owe it all to you.”</p>
<p>Harry gives Louis a cute kiss, then looks into his eyes. “We both made it. We went through this job and we found us in the end.”</p>
<p>“Sounds like a happy ending, doesn’t it?”</p>
<p>“It really does. I mean, relationships aren’t always perfect and I’m aware of the but I know that I love you.” And then Harry leans in to give Louis the softest kiss he has ever gotten. They both nuzzle close to each other, Louis spooning Harry from behind. Harry’s warmth feels wonderful against Louis’ body and Harry’s slow breathing calms Louis until he almost drifts asleep. Every doubt feels miles away, every negative thought seems to fade as he holds Harry in his arms, happy to have him in his life. “I love you,” Louis says quietly, “you’re amazing.”</p>
<p>“So are you,” Harry responds and takes Louis’ hand in his, kissing it gently. “Sleep well, Lou,” he says quietly, pressing his body closer to Louis.</p>
<p> </p>
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